by Kylie Chan
‘Will you be punished?’
‘Probably.’
‘If you are sent to the Earthly, I would like to come with you, look after you.’
‘If I’m sent to the Earthly, they’ll probably wipe my memory.’
‘Still.’
‘Chang.’ I reached out and touched his arm. ‘If anyone asks you, tell them that you never liked me, and that working in the garden is ten times better than working for me.’
He straightened. ‘I will not lie.’
‘That’s not a lie — well, the bit about the garden anyway.’
He hesitated for a moment, then grinned broadly. ‘You’re right.’
I nodded to him and continued towards the offices. ‘Stay happy, Chang.’
‘I choose to, therefore I am,’ he said, and knelt to return to the weeding. ‘I am free of needs and cares and my spirit is light.’
When I arrived at my office, Yi Hao wasn’t at her desk. I went in and saw that my desk was immaculately tidy and my in-tray was empty. I checked my email and there was nothing that needed doing.
‘This is ridiculous,’ I said.
‘You needed to rest,’ the stone said.
‘I need something to do!’
‘Just a sec, I’m finding your secretary.’ The stone made a soft sound of amusement, like stones clicking together. ‘She’s parked herself in the coat cupboard in the reception area.’
I went out to the waiting room and opened the cupboard door. The stone was right: Yi Hao stood there silent, unmoving and unbreathing, as if she was dead.
‘Yi Hao,’ I said, and she snapped into life, her eyes wide.
She jumped out of the cupboard and hugged me gently. ‘Ma’am, welcome back. I had given up …’ She wiped her eyes. ‘I am so glad you’re back!’
‘I’ve only been gone less than a day.’
‘I haven’t seen you in days, ma’am.’
‘Well, I’m back now. What do we have?’
‘Your diary is empty, the Dark Lord cleared it. The only thing you have is Lord Gold’s wedding day in six weeks.’
‘Classes I’m teaching?’
She cringed. ‘All cleared, ma’am. You have nothing. You are supposed to be resting. You’re sick, remember?’
‘Not any more. The Xuan Wu Serpent cured me of everything.’
She studied me carefully. ‘You don’t look well. Your face is very pale.’
‘I’m still weak, but I need something to do. I suppose I’ll just have to wait until the Dark Lord is back and we can divide up the tasks. I’m sure his in-tray is overflowing.’
‘What happened?’ she said.
‘Come and sit down,’ I gestured for her to take the visitor’s chair, ‘and I’ll tell you the whole ridiculous story.’
I ate lunch alone in the Residence; I didn’t want to face the questions in the mess. Afterwards, I went back to the infirmary. Simone was still sleeping, so I decided to visit Jade in her office to check on the wedding preparations.
I found her running around her office holding a large sheet of pale pink paper. ‘This is the wrong colour!’ she said to one of her assistants. ‘I wanted salmon for the menus!’
She saw me, dropped the paper onto a table, and quickly hugged me. ‘You should be in the infirmary, shouldn’t you, Emma? I thought you’d need at least a day’s rest after that.’
‘I’m okay, just bored,’ I said.
Jade looked around the office. It was a complete disaster, with menus, ribbons, flowers and CDs strewn all over the desks. ‘I’m having the time of my life.’
‘Can I help?’
She thought for a moment, then shook her head. ‘You don’t know the story so far, so I’m afraid you can’t really be of any help to me.’ She put her hands on my arms. ‘Go rest. Everything is under control, and the Dark Lord will be home soon.’
I sighed and nodded. We embraced again and I went out.
I was sitting with Simone later that afternoon when Martin and Leo came into the infirmary. They sat down on the other side of her bed.
‘Has she woken up yet?’ Leo said, touching her hand.
I held her other hand; it was ice-cold. ‘She wakes up, talks for a bit, goes to the bathroom, and goes back to sleep. It’s like she doesn’t want to wake up.’
‘She’s waiting for her father,’ Martin said. He concentrated for a moment, then snapped back and shook his head. ‘She’s closed in on herself.’
‘Will she be all right?’ Leo said.
‘Meredith says to let her take her time,’ I said. ‘She’ll probably come around when John is back.’
‘Has anybody checked with Judge Pao?’ Martin said. ‘As Father’s Number One I have precedence so I can check on proceedings, but if it’s already been done it would be a bad idea.’
‘Er Lang says tomorrow.’
Martin nodded understanding.
‘Do you get a ceremony to confirm you as Number One?’ I said.
Leo put his arm around Martin’s back and smiled proudly at him.
Martin shrugged. ‘I was already in the position, so I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s a return to work after being temporarily stood down.’
‘I think we should have one anyway,’ I said.
‘Me too,’ Leo said.
‘It’s not really necessary.’
‘After Gold and Amy’s wedding maybe. Speaking of weddings, have you two …?’
‘We asked each other,’ Martin said with amusement. ‘We both said yes at the same time.’
‘But the Jade Emperor won’t permit it; we checked,’ Leo said. He shrugged. ‘So that’s that.’
Martin gazed at Leo with pride. ‘The Celestial suggested we have a ceremonial handfasting rather than a true marriage.’
‘I hope you told him where to go,’ I said.
Martin seemed even prouder. ‘Leo did. He told the Jade Emperor that I’m Number One of the First Heavenly General, and I deserve better than a mock marriage.’
‘And Martin said I’m the Black Lion and I deserve the real thing,’ Leo took Martin’s hand. ‘The Jade Emperor actually said he’d think about it.’
‘John’ll speak to the Jade Emperor when he comes back. We’re on your side, and you’re right. You deserve better than that.’
‘We have to go choose rings,’ Martin said. ‘And we know better than to have anything to do with sentient stones.’
‘Hey,’ Leo said. ‘Come and have dinner at our place tonight. Our treat. We’ll cook for you.’
‘You cook?’ I said.
Martin grinned. ‘We’ve been teaching each other.’
‘It’s a date. I can’t wait to see what you’ve done with Persimmon Tree.’
‘We nearly killed each other over the décor,’ Leo said. ‘I wanted traditional Chinese and he wanted modern Western. We arrived at a compromise, and I think it’s neat. The rosewood table with the pine chairs works surprisingly well.’
‘He actually suggested Ikea,’ Martin said with scorn. ‘I love modern Western, but there is a limit!’
‘God.’ Leo ran his hand over his bald head. ‘I was just joking, Ming, get over it.’
Martin glowered at him. ‘Never.’
‘Now I really can’t wait,’ I said.
The next morning I heard voices as I passed John’s office and felt a shot of delight — he was back. I walked towards his office, then stopped when I heard what they were talking about.
‘She may be profoundly changed,’ John said. ‘She may wake up and not be the Emma we know.’
‘We have no choice, we have to do it,’ Martin said.
‘We all know that. The choice we have to make is: do we tell her before we do it, or just put her under without her knowing?’
‘She would want the chance to say goodbye,’ Leo said.
‘It is kinder if she does not know,’ Martin said.
‘She’s gone through so much,’ John said, his voice full of remorse. ‘So many times she’s suffered for our love.
And we have to ask her to suffer again. I don’t think I can do this any more.’
‘So you’ll wipe her memory, change her face, and drop her back with her parents?’ Leo said. ‘That’s even worse than not telling her.’
‘She knew what she was getting into: Kwan Yin warned her,’ Meredith said. ‘The hardest decision is the right one to take in this circumstance. Tell her, and then let her say goodbye.’
‘That means we have to wait until Simone is out of the infirmary. I can’t do that to Simone — have her wake up and see Emma changed.’
I went to the doorway and leaned on the frame. They all went quiet.
‘Well, there’s that decision made for us,’ Meredith said.
‘How much have you heard?’ John said.
‘Enough.’
He sighed and ran his hand over his forehead. ‘We’ve been ordered to do this by the Jade Emperor. He is concerned that you may be an agent of the Demon King.’
‘I see. Exactly what have you been ordered to do?’
Meredith turned in her chair to see me. ‘We’ve looked inside you before, Emma, but nobody’s really made a thorough inspection, particularly to see if you’ve been modified by the Demon King. We found that snake thing when the Tiger really dug deep, but there are still depths to you that nobody’s seen properly. We have to burrow very deeply into your psyche and see exactly what the King’s done to you. We know that Kitty Kwok messed with your head when you were working for her in the kindergarten: she made you oblivious to the strange things happening in the Dark Lord’s household all that time ago. Then she broke your memory and dropped you in Lan Kwai Fong. She’s had a great deal of opportunity to mess around inside your head, and we need to be sure that she isn’t still in there. He,’ she corrected herself.
‘He’s had plenty of opportunity to modify me,’ I said. ‘I used to work for him, and he was turning me into a demon. I’d be surprised if that’s all he’s done.’
‘He could have controlled you and made you go down to Angkor,’ John said. ‘It’s really not like you to do something so —’
‘Stupid,’ I finished for him.
‘You took the smallest and weakest of all the Shen at your command and rushed in blindly after six of the biggest Heavenly Generals had been destroyed.’
‘Yes, stupid,’ I said. ‘You think the King was influencing me to do that?’
He didn’t reply.
‘Then we need to look inside me and see if he has control over me.’
‘You could be changed, Emma.’
‘My parents said that I had changed.’
‘If we find something, we will remove it. I don’t know how much will be left.’
I tapped my head on the doorframe. ‘I’d rather you did it right now and be done with it.’
‘We can if you like, but Simone will be very upset if she wakes up and you are changed.’
‘As soon as she’s conscious enough for me to tell her, we do it. You said you’d put me under?’
‘The pain this would cause is too much for you to bear conscious,’ Meredith said.
‘Who would do it? John?’
John nodded once.
I turned to go. ‘I’ll be in the Residence doing katas. Let me know when she wakes up and I’ll say goodbye to everybody.’
After half an hour of katas, I gave up and went around the Mountain to say my goodbyes. Everybody knew already; it was an uncomfortable couple of hours.
John, Leo, Martin and I had lunch together in the Residence. At the end of the mostly uneaten meal, John took my hand. ‘She’s awake and eating. Time to go.’
‘Good luck, Emma,’ Leo said.
I embraced both him and Martin, and went over to the infirmary with John.
Simone was sitting up, but she’d been crying. I sat on the bed and hugged her.
‘Is there any way we can avoid this, Daddy?’ she said.
John just shook his head.
‘Do you mind if I go out for a while then, while you do it?’ she said. ‘I need to be somewhere else.’
‘Go for a walk,’ I said. ‘Go and sit in one of the pagodas, or check out Leo and Martin’s house.’ I turned to John. ‘How long will this take?’
John brushed his unbound hair out of his face; he’d already lost the hair tie. ‘It depends on whether you’ve been modified, and if so, how much. I really don’t know.’
‘I’ll go and visit Freddo then,’ Simone said. ‘He’s probably worried sick.’
‘Uh, Simone,’ I said, but John was ahead of me. He concentrated on Simone and told her telepathically.
‘No,’ Simone said softly, then yelled it. ‘No!’ She disappeared.
John rose and put one hand out to me. ‘Stone, we need you to assist. Meredith and Edwin are waiting in the other room. Hopefully, we will be finished in an hour or so and there will be no difference to our lives.’
In the second temporary ward, Meredith and Edwin had set up a full intensive-care unit.
‘What’s the crash cart for?’ I said as I moved behind the screen and changed into a hospital gown to give Edwin easier access to my vitals. ‘I know a defibrillator’s useless if my heart stops.’
Edwin shrugged. ‘You may go into fibrillation. I want to be ready for anything.’
‘But they do it all the time on the television,’ John said. ‘Someone dies, they shock them alive again.’
‘It doesn’t work like that in real life,’ I said. ‘A defibrillator’s only useful if your heart is palpitating. If it’s stopped, you’re dead.’
‘Fascinating,’ John said. He gestured towards the bed. ‘The sooner we have this finished, the sooner I can take you into the Residence and give you a thorough lesson in double sword. Your technique is terrible.’
‘Blame my husband,’ Meredith said. ‘He is far too soft on her.’
I climbed onto the bed. Edwin clipped a blood-oxygen monitor to my finger and a couple of ECG wires to my chest. He checked that the equipment was working correctly, then moved back out of the way.
‘Stone, next to her feet, but keep contact and watch her. Meredith on that side, me on this side; you put her under first and then we’ll look inside,’ John said.
‘Let me sit at the base of her throat, that’s the best place to monitor her,’ the stone said.
‘Done.’
They moved into position and I felt a rush of panic. Then I looked up into John’s eyes and calmed.
I love you, he said, and Meredith put her hands on either side of my head.
CHAPTER 35
My head hurt more than it had ever hurt in my life. Every heartbeat was a throbbing agony.
‘Emma,’ John said.
I opened my eyes, and quickly closed them again at the lancing pain of the light.
‘Turn down the light, it hurts like anything,’ I said.
‘Try now,’ Edwin said.
I peeled open my eyes; the room was much dimmer. ‘Thank you.’ I took John’s hand. ‘I know who you are, which is a good start.’
‘Do you know where you are?’
‘Temporary infirmary on the Mountain. Stone, move off there, it’s uncomfortable. You weigh ten times more than you should.’
The stone lifted off my throat and the suffocating sensation disappeared.
‘All signs are normal,’ Meredith said. ‘She doesn’t appear to be damaged.’ Her voice broke. ‘Oh God, I was sure that would hurt her, but she seems okay.’
‘I am hurt,’ I said. ‘My head is killing me.’ I took a deep breath as I remembered. ‘Did you find anything?’
They were silent.
‘You did.’
I felt my reactions: I loved John. I loved Simone. Leo was my best friend, and I was delighted that he didn’t want to die. The Demon King, on the other hand …
‘I don’t feel any different,’ I said. ‘What did he change?’
‘It was unbelievably subtle,’ John said. ‘It took us more than four hours to find it. Your Serpent nature, now
that we know what it is, is absolutely fascinating and I have collected a vast amount of extremely interesting data on it.’
‘But what did the Demon King do to me?’
‘He’s been doing it right from the start, when you were working for him as Kitty Kwok,’ Meredith said. ‘The changes were so subtle and so elegant.’
‘But what were they?’ I said, frustrated.
‘He enhanced your maternal instinct, your natural love of children, so that you are immensely protective of them. I’m surprised you let Simone go out by herself,’ John said. ‘He raised your courage so you are almost completely unafraid of anything, to the point of reckless self-endangerment. He made you only notice strange happenings if they were brought directly to your attention — well, we knew that, and it was quickly short-circuited by living with me. Same with the conditioning to obey him in his Kitty form: you broke that almost immediately. And he planted a death wish in you.’
‘I don’t have a death wish,’ I said.
‘Yes, you do, Emma,’ Meredith said. ‘Your conscious mind can argue it down, and you have Simone and Lord Xuan to live for, but if you ever lost them, you’d kill yourself immediately. We shouldn’t have worried about you going to the Earthly with your parents — you were incapable of leaving Lord Xuan and Simone.’
‘Basically, he implanted in you the instinct to throw yourself thoughtlessly into any dangerous situation where Simone is threatened, and to stay with us no matter what the circumstances,’ John said. ‘And to self-destruct if your purpose of being with us is removed.’
‘Did you remove the changes?’ I said.
‘We spent a long time arguing about whether those things made you what you are,’ John said. ‘Your courage, your love for Simone, your complete selflessness when it comes to her being in danger.’ He clasped his hands. ‘The very things I find most appealing about you.’
‘That’s beside the point. This is my personality we’re talking about, and I should be the real me.’ I dropped my voice. ‘I just hope you’ll still love me.’
‘We removed the modifications to your personality,’ Meredith said. ‘Do you feel different?’
‘No,’ I said with wonder.
‘It will probably show the first time you’re faced with a dangerous situation,’ John said. ‘Although I have to admit, a more healthy reflex towards self-preservation will be reassuring.’