by William Oday
Theresa dug through the remaining compartments of the backpack.
“It was just what you’d expect. All heavy disappointment on his part and fake repentance on mine.”
“I’m talking about Elio. Oh, I guess you were, too.”
Theresa giggled.
“Haha.”
“Come on.” Holly flicked her tongue in the air. “I want the hot, juicy bits.”
“Gross, Holly!”
Holly threw her hands up like the world had gone crazy and she was the last sane person to understand it.
“What? It’s biology. It’s nature.”
She circled her fingers and pumped her hand at her mouth while simultaneously poking her cheek out with her tongue.
“Yuck! Stop it!”
“What? Someone has to hold your hand through the baby steps.”
“I know all about that stuff.”
“You do? Since when? Where was I when all this happened?”
Theresa put her hands on her hips and shook her backside at her friend.
“You were probably working that night. I know those street corners get busy.”
“You’re so naughty,” Holly said. “Seriously. What are you going to do when it’s time to go there with Elio?”
“Gross, Holly! You’re like a dog with a bone. A boner bone.”
Holly bit her lower lip and rolled it out.
“I like big bones.”
Theresa rolled her eyes. She knew Holly had a little more experience than she did, but she didn’t love dwelling on it. It made her feel lacking.
“Look, don’t worry about it. I’ll show you how. What else are best friends for?”
Theresa could think of quite a few other things.
Holly pointed to her desk.
“Hand me that banana.”
“You are not seriously going to do what I think you’re going to do, are you?”
“I’m going to make sure you don’t hurt him, or yourself. You can thank me later.”
Holly held her hand out.
“I’m waiting.”
Theresa could tell she wasn’t going to give up on this one. And besides, Theresa was curious about how it worked. Holly had tried to glory in her few exploits a few times in the past, but Theresa had freaked out and changed the subject.
Something about Elio made her want to know more. It freaked her out too. But in a good way.
Theresa passed over the requested item of fruit.
Holly examined it with an expert eye. Or at least faked it really good.
“I’d say seven inches.” She circled a thumb and pointer finger around it. “Bigger than you’re likely to run into.”
Theresa blushed. She wanted to look away, but couldn’t.
“Like with fruit,” Holly said, “you want to use a delicate touch. You’re not playing tug of war with Max’s favorite rope.”
She stroked the length of the yellow fruit. She delicately turned down the peel.
“You won’t have to worry much about getting the banana ripe. Smile at a teenage boy and their bananas are ready to blow.”
She winked.
“If you know what I mean.”
Theresa rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help but giggle.
“Get a firm grip at the base, but don’t choke it to death.”
She held the base and brought the fleshy fruit to her lips. She kissed it.
“Disgusting, Holly!”
“What? Kiss it. Make friends.”
“Right on the, there, on the tip?”
“To start, yes.”
Holly licked the tip.
Theresa grimaced. Maybe this was a mistake. Give Holly an inch and she’d take a mouthful.
Holly licked the length of the firm fruit. She went up and down like she was cleaning the thing.
“I’m about to vomit, Holly.”
“Girl, if this part makes you squirmy, you’re in real trouble.”
She brought the tip to her lips and lowered her mouth on it. A little fruit disappeared and then she pulled it out.
“A little at a time to start. To get you both used to it.”
She kept that up and slowly worked her way down lower. In a minute, she had the whole banana disappearing into her mouth and then reappearing like some kind of farm fresh magic act.
Theresa still felt icked out, but fascinated, too.
“The whole thing?”
Holly nodded without stopping.
“Don’t you choke?”
She pulled it out of her mouth.
“It takes practice.” She held the banana out to Theresa. “Try it.”
“You’ve been slobbering all over it. No way!”
“You’re worried about my germs? Think about what we’re talking about here. About what’s going into your mouth.”
Theresa pictured it for a second and her body trembled. Partly from revulsion and partly from something else. Something tingly that launched a million butterflies in her stomach.
Her phone buzzed.
Saved by the bell.
Holly jumped up and grabbed it.
“Speaking of the gorgeous devil himself!”
She flipped the screen toward Theresa.
Elio had sent her a text message.
ELIO> Stay Safe! Insanity at your Whole Foods!
40
She clicked the provided link and a news broadcast segment filled the screen. A local news anchor that Theresa vaguely recognized set a paper down and looked into the camera.
“Violence erupts at the Whole Foods at Lincoln and Rose. During the lunch time rush, an unidentified white male wounded actor Ryan—”
A publicity pic from Death Before Life filled the corner of the screen.
“Tell me his face didn’t get hurt!” Holly screamed. “He was so gorgeous.”
“Shhhhh!”
“… LAPD officer was working at the time. Witnesses say he confronted the gunman and was attempting to peacefully resolve the confrontation when the unidentified man opened fire, seriously wounding the actor and killing the officer in a deadly storm of bullets.”
“It’s crazy,” Holly said as she shook her head. “I masturbated to his abs two nights ago.”
“No way.”
“It’s true.”
“I mean, to his abs? That’s kind of specific, isn’t it?”
“Have you ever seen his stomach?”
“… say that a third person, described as a large Latino male, pulled a gun and tried to stop the rampage, but the killer escaped before police arrived at the scene.”
The feed cut to a clip of a frazzled looking girl wearing a burgundy Whole Foods smock.
“It was a regular shift like any other, and then Ryan turned up in my line. He let me take a picture with him. He kissed my cheek! I’m never going to wash this cheek!”
She touched the apparently blessed cheek.
“Then everything went crazy. This insane white man pulled out a gun and shot Ryan. He shot the officer next and probably woulda killed me, too, but this vato guy pulled his own gun and ran him off.”
She shook her head and burst into tears.
“It happened right in front of me. They’re still scrubbing the blood off the floor. And the guy looked so normal. That was the crazy thing. Just some average Joe white guy. But isn’t that who it always is? What’s wrong with white folks these days?”
The feed cut back to the anchor as a drawing appeared in the upper corner of the screen.
“A forensic artist has sketched out what the suspect may look like. If you see anyone resembling this man, police warn you not to approach him as he is armed and dangerous. If you think you’ve seen this man, call 911 immediately.”
The video paused as the final frame finished.
The suspect looked like nobody and anybody as those sketches often did. He wore an LA Galaxy cap. Dark glasses. Late twenties to early fifties.
Why did this maniac have to sully her favorite team? The LA Galaxy shouldn’t have been associated wit
h this madman. Theresa handed the phone to Holly. That Whole Foods was less than two miles away. They went to it sometimes. Not frequently because her parents complained about how crazy expensive it was.
But still. Sometimes.
A murderer gunned people down in her neighborhood. He could be roaming the streets this very minute looking for new victims. She hoped LAPD found him and locked him up forever.
And to think that there wouldn’t be a Death Before Life 2 any time soon. Or that the officer woke up that morning having no idea that this was his last day on earth. It was scary how random death could be.
Wrong place at the wrong time.
Holly looked at the screen closer.
“That kind of looks like your dad.”
Theresa took another look.
Yeah, it kind of did. Then again, her dad looked like a million middle-aged, white guys. Her dad would’ve taken care of that creep if he’d been there. She knew that for sure. He protected people. That was his job.
Holly grabbed the phone and started typing.
Theresa stood in disbelief. How could things like this happen? Happen so near to her life?
She fumbled over the questions when Holly handed her phone back.
“You’re welcome.”
“What?”
Holly flopped back on the bed and looked at the ceiling.
“Can you believe it? Doesn’t seem real. Like it’s a hoax or something. You think it’ll end up like when a famous person fakes their own death just to get out of the spotlight for a while? I heard his supermodel girlfriend dumped him. Maybe he just doesn’t want to face the press about it.”
“I think it’s real, Holly.”
Holly twisted her mouth up, her eyes sad.
“I know. I just wish it weren’t.”
Theresa looked down at her phone and read the conversation.
THERESA> So crazy! So sad!
ELIO> I know right?! Might be a good idea to stay inside tonight.
THERESA> I am. Going to go to bed early… to think about you.
“Holly! I can’t believe you did that! He’s going to think I’m a total idiot!”
“He’s into you, Theresa. Now you don’t have to do all that awkward sixth grade note passing nonsense.”
She drew in the air above her with an exaggerated, idiotic flair.
“Do you like me? If yes, check this box. If no, check this box.”
“You just ruined my life!”
“You have so much to learn. Luckily, you have me to teach you.”
“Am I supposed to thank you?”
“You’re welcome.”
“I didn’t say thank you!”
“You didn’t have to,” Holly said with a smile.
41
The girls lay on their stomachs looking off the edge of the bed. Light from the TV splashed into the dark corners of the room. Theresa rolled a tattered bit of cloth between her fingers. Lambchops had been her number one stuffie for over ten years. Though his prominent position was more memory than reality now, she still reached for him sometimes. He stared up at her with his one remaining eye button.
She squeezed him tight and looked away from the screen.
“I hate this part.”
“This is my favorite part!” Holly said. “You know this scene ends with him getting his shirt ripped off.”
“That’s not the part I’m talking about. What about the girl that gets it just before that? The one he was too late to save?”
“Yea, that’s unlucky. She could’ve seen his luscious abs if she’d made it just a few more minutes.”
“Fast forward to that.”
“No! You can’t ruin the build up.”
Theresa didn’t look up.
“Tell me when this part is over.”
“Okay, it’s over.”
Theresa looked up. She shouldn’t have.
A dark shadow crept down a dimly lit hall. The shadow’s outline on the wall was not human. The shadow opened a door at the end of the hall. Through the crack, a teenage girl lay back on a bed with a laptop in her lap. Her fingers clacked on the keyboard. Her head bopped to the rhythm emanating from headphones.
She glanced up at the open door and her head stopped.
“Dad, I swear I’m doing homework. Close the door!”
The girl watched the door, waiting for an answer that didn’t come.
A keening wail started softly in the background. Like crystal dragged across a chalkboard. A resonant, grating tone that stirred the hackles on your back, if you had any.
Theresa wanted to look away, but couldn’t. She knew what was going to happen, she’d seen Death Before Life at least ten times. It was still scary, though.
The girl pushed her laptop to the side and yanked the headphones off her head.
“Dad, is that you?”
She rose from the bed, her body filled with an apprehension that guaranteed something bad was about to happen. She stepped toward the door.
“Dad?”
Her bedside light flickered and then went dark. The screen went dark.
Theresa held her breath and gritted her teeth. That girl needed to get out of there. Not walk right into it. She had a big front window there. She needed to jump out of that thing and run for her life! Theresa wanted to yell at her to not be an idiot.
A light flicked on and the girl’s face was illuminated from below by her phone. She shined it in front of her as she took another step closer. She stopped a few feet from the door. Unsure.
“You’d better not be joking! I’m serious!”
Theresa covered her face with Lambchops. Unfortunately, the old stuffie was equal parts cloth and holes so she could still peek through.
The girl took another step closer. A growing fear crept into her face.
A huge body ran in front of the TV and landed on Theresa’s bed.
Theresa screamed. The B movie slasher flick kind.
“Max! You gave me a heart attack!”
A long, wet tongue rolled out of his mouth and licked her face.
“Ewww! Yuck! You found some more of Mr. Piddles’ poo. Disgusting.”
Max turned to Holly, his tongue leading the turn. She rolled off the bed and jumped away.
“No way, Max! Keep that tongue to yourself.”
Theresa wrestled Max to the bed, making sure to keep his mouth facing away. Max was better than Lambchops for snuggling when you were scared. If she was going to have to suffer through the scary parts, Max was going to have to do his part to make it bearable.
Holly sniffed the air. “Did you set a timer on the pizza?”
Theresa pulled away from Max’s back and immediately smelled an acrid, burning odor.
“No!”
Theresa jumped off the bed and headed for the kitchen.
“I thought you set the timer!” she said as she went.
“Me? I thought you did.”
Out in the hallway, the sharp scent was stronger. It had to be cheese charcoal by now.
Theresa ran into the kitchen and the fire alarm shrieked. Smoke curled along the ceiling. Max barreled into the kitchen, barking like crazy.
She turned the oven off and threw its door open. Black smoke billowed out and choked her. The roiling cloud stung her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut and ducked out of the way. The alarm wailed.
Theresa grabbed a towel from the hook by the sink and reached into the oven for the crisp remains of dinner.
“Whoa!” Holly appeared in the doorway.
“Fan the smoke alarm!”
Holly grabbed another towel and fanned the alarm on the ceiling.
Theresa dropped the blackened disc into the sink as the scalding heat began to burn through the thin towel. She turned the faucet on and let the cool water run over her singed fingertips. The smoke was suffocating.
She threw open the window above the sink and flinched as the motion lights in the back yard switched on. She didn’t see any movement. It was probably Mr. Piddles deposit
ing another treat for Max.
Disgusting.
The fire alarm went silent as Holly succeeded in wafting the smoke into the living room.
Emergency over. Mostly.
Theresa got a spatula to scrape burned cheese off the oven bottom when her heart jumped into her throat.
A hideous screech came from the back yard and Mr. Piddles bolted across the yard.
What was up with him?
She was about to get to work on the mess in the oven when she froze. Her eyes locked on the backyard.
Long shadows swept over the grass.
Whispered voices moved with them.
42
A chill spidered up Theresa’s back. It was probably the movie making her jumpy. It was just a breeze blowing the trees. She turned to Holly who was fanning the last gray wisps out of the kitchen.
“Did you hear something?”
“You mean like an ear-splitting siren? Yes.”
“No, something from the backyard.”
Holly gave her a look like she was crazy.
Theresa jumped as a scream echoed down the hallway.
Holly grinned. “Sounds like the girl just got finished off. Time for sexy abs!”
Theresa let out a slow exhale. Everything was fine. She shouldn’t have let Holly talk her into watching that movie at night without her parents home. The alien things were too creepy. The actor had just died in real life, if it wasn’t a fake.
It was all too creepy.
Max stopped circling Holly and froze looking at the glass back door. He tilted his head to the side. A shuffling sound came from the back yard. He tilted it to the other side. He launched at the back door, barking and growling, scratching at the glass with wild swipes.
BOOM.
The glass pane shattered inward and Max yelped as he spun backward and fell to the kitchen floor.
A remote part of Theresa’s brain noticed that Holly grabbed a large knife out of the wooden block on the counter.
Theresa dropped next to Max, her hands gently running through fur that was normally a light tan, and was now a deep, wet red.
Max whined and looked up at her in confusion. He tried to stand and yelped as his back legs collapsed under him.
What was happening?
A big black boot kicked the remaining shards in and a huge tattooed man stepped inside. He was an enormous block of bulging muscles and dark ink.