I was the most irresponsible business owner and left my store for six months. I mean, I have my girls who run the place and they are more than capable of keeping things together, but I can’t imagine what a shock it must have been for them. They would have had to pick up a lot of slack and I’m going to owe them big time. Hell, I haven’t even checked in, who knows if the place is still running. Though, I know even with Rylee hating me right now, she would have checked in and made sure they were alright.
I’m going to have to check in with my parents and let them know I’m alive. I’ll have to make sure all the bills are paid and the electricity to my home is still on.
Hell, there’s just so much to do, but the thought is too daunting, so I push it aside and try to clear my mind. I can worry about it all tomorrow. Right now, my only thought is about paying the driver and getting my ass up to my apartment.
The second he drives away, I lug my suitcase through the door and over to the lift before waiting patiently for it to come down and take me home.
I hit the button for level three and close my eyes as it takes me up. I’m so close to my front door. I can practically smell the freedom of my bed just a few steps away, but those few steps are exhausting and seem like a lot of work.
I drop everything at the door and begin rifling through my handbag for my key. My fingers finally curl around the metal and I don’t waste a second before jamming it into the lock.
I wiggle it a few times and have to drop my handbag on the floor so I can use both hands. What the hell? Why isn’t it going into its stupid little hole?
I wiggle it a bit more before double checking I’m trying to open the right door. I look up and down the hallway and even check the big number three on the wall to make sure I got off on the right level.
It’s definitely my door.
I yank the key out to check that it’s not broken or has any rust or something that could be causing it to jam, but there’s nothing. The key looks as good at the day I got it.
I let out a frustrated groan and drop my keys back into my bag before letting my forehead fall against the door with a bang. I stand here for a moment, contemplating why everything has to be so damn hard.
A tear comes to my eye as all I want in this world is to get inside my home and rest, yet even that seems impossible. The frustration is almost too much to bear and I bring my fist up and slam it against the hardwood of my door. “Fuck you,” I tell the door.
My whole body is jolted forward as the door opens before catching on the chain. I try to catch myself against the door but end up smacking the side of my face into the wood.
I push myself back with a cringe as I try to work out what the fuck is happening and how the hell the door just opened by itself.
“What the fuck do you want?” A deep voice questions from the other side.
What the fuck? Is somebody in my home?
I look through the small slither of the open door and right there, staring back at me is a disturbing excuse of a man. I gasp and stumble back a few steps. “Who the hell are you?” I shriek.
“That’s none of your damn business, now stop making suck a racket out here and get lost, I’m trying to sleep.”
“Excuse me?” I grunt, stepping closer to the door once again. “This is my home. What the hell do you think you’re doing in it? You need to leave. Now.”
“It’s my home now, princess,” he says with a scoff before slamming the door shut in my face.
What the fuck is going on here? “Hey,” I demand, slamming my fists on the door, over and over again. “Open the fucking door.”
“Get lost,” I hear him call back from inside.
I stare at the door dumbfounded. I mean, what the hell is this? Did I seriously just get home to find a squatter living in my apartment? Sleeping in my bed. Using my bathroom. Scratching his dirty balls on my couch.
For fuck’s sake. Is this punishment for being such as ass to all my friends?
Holy shit. What am I going to do?
I grab my bag off the floor and start searching through it for anything that could help. My fucking keys are useless. My lipstick isn’t going to do much. My iPod would probably help to calm me down, but apart from that, I’ve got nothing.
I can’t even call the police because I don’t have my phone. I was a stupid ass and left it inside my apartment where this fucker is currently living. I mean, my car keys are in there too. My whole life is inside those four walls.
“Fuck,” I curse before slamming my fist against the door one more time. Think, think, think, Cami. There must be something I can do besides standing out here all day and waiting him out. I mean, this guy could be dangerous for all I know.
“What’s all this noise out here?” I hear a voice from down the hallway. I glance down and see my neighbor, Kelly, sticking her head through the door and looking right at me. “Oh, Cami. It’s just you. What are you doing here?”
“I just got back from my trip,” I tell her. “There’s a squatter living in my apartment.”
“What?” she grunts. “Are you serious? I hadn’t seen you in so long that I figured you’d moved out and this asshole was my new neighbor.”
“No,” I tell her. “I certainly haven’t moved out.”
“Shit,” she says wide-eyed.
“Yeah,” I agree. “Can I use your phone? I’m going to have to get a little help with this one.”
“Yeah, sure,” she says before ducking back into her apartment.
I grab my suitcase and handbag off the floor before walking down to her place and standing by the door. She appears a moment later with her phone in hand and she passes it over. I get straight to work, first calling Cole, who doesn’t answer, then Rylee, who naturally, also doesn’t answer. “Shit,” I grunt.
I don’t know Caden or Luke’s numbers off the top of my head and there’s no way in hell I’m calling Jace. “They’re not answering. I’m going to have to go and find someone,” I tell Kelly who gives me a sympathetic smile.
“Maybe you should try the police?”
“Yeah, I probably should,” I say, but to be honest, I just don’t have the energy to deal with all that. “I’ll give them a call if my boys can’t handle it. Do you mind if I leave my bag inside your door?”
“Of course,” she says as she reaches forward and wheels it in beside her entryway table. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
I give her a thankful smile and head straight back over to the lift with tears pooling in my eyes. How the hell did I get so unlucky?
I get myself back down to the busy street and quickly hail down another taxi. Not able to remember the actual address of Cole and Rylee’s place, I navigate the driver around every little bend until he pulls up at their front door. I ask him to wait while I dash out and knock on the door.
I wait for a moment before knocking again. Nobody answers, though I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s the middle of the day. Rylee is most likely at her club while Cole is probably at Rebels Advocate.
With a sigh, I get back into the taxi. I don’t want to tell him to go to Rebels Advocate, but it’s my last option.
Ten minutes later, the taxi comes to a stop before the building I promised myself I’d never step into ever again.
I hop out of the taxi and thank the driver before sending him on his way. I mean, out of Cole, Luke, and Caden, one of them should be available to drive me back, even if I have to wait a little while.
I take a step towards the door and dread fills me. What if he’s here?
I didn’t want to see him so soon, in fact, I was kind of hoping I’d never have to see him again. Just the thought of running into him and having to face everything that happened between us is way too much to handle right now. I need a decent sleep and a few bottles of wine before I can climb that mountain.
I let out a shaky breath and push through the doors.
The first thing I notice is that it’s deathly quiet here today. I mean, it’s fact that th
is place is never this quiet. I look around the front reception desk where Jess usually stands but she’s not here so I look past her desk into the front office. Nothing.
Shit. I was kind of hoping I could avoid walking deeper into the place.
I walk into the main part of the gym and look around. There are a few guys using the weights and a lady on a treadmill, but none of the boys. “Cole?” I call out. “Are you here?”
Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Shit.
I search a little deeper. “Cole?” I call out again. “Luke? Caden? You guys here?”
Again, nothing.
“You’ve got some balls walking in here, Cameron.”
I come to a startling stop as the words practically vibrate through me. It’s him. Jace King. I’d recognize that voice even in the deepest pits of hell. My back stiffens as the shock completely rocks through me.
I don’t want to turn around but I have no choice. I can’t just stand here like a fool. He tore me down and I left to give my heart a chance to heal, so I guess this is the ultimate test if Jace King still holds me in the palm of his hand.
I let out a shaky breath and prepare myself to face the man who hasn’t left my mind for even a second over the past seven months.
I turn myself around to face the offices and what I see before me has my whole world crumbling.
Jace King stands before me with a newborn baby resting in his capable arms.
The sight has my eyes stinging with the tears that instantly begin to fill my eyes. My chest aches and I don’t know if it’s from my heart racing or from it coming to a complete stop. I don’t know because I can’t feel a damn thing.
I can’t breathe.
Jace King has a baby and that tiny little angel in his arms is not mine. That should have been me. I was supposed to have the tiny blonde baby with the big green eyes smiling up at her daddy, and now he’s given that to someone else.
The tears spill from my eyes as the shock begins to wear off. How could he do this? I gasp for air and try to fill my lung but the sob rising in my throat makes it impossible.
I have to get out of here.
I turn and run. I push my feet as fast as they can go and push myself out the door of Rebels Advocate before the grief and my aching heart catches up to me.
I fall to my knees as the sob tears from my throat.
My life will never be the same. I should never have gotten on that plane and come home.
Without even trying, Jace King has destroyed me. Again.
Chapter 2
Jace
Fuck.
She’s back. Cameron Fucking Drew is back.
Seven months ago, she walked out of our lives without so much of a goodbye and disappeared. And now, she just walked her fine ass into my gym after seven months of nothing and just stands there. I had envisioned this moment so many times over the last seven months. What it would feel like. What she would say.
But this… this is not it.
I thought she’d be yelling at me. Thought she’d be losing her fucking mind and saying anything to hurt me. Hell, I even thought she might try to get a few good hits in. But she doesn’t. She just stands there, looking like a broken and crumpled version of the Cami I used to know.
She looks exhausted and the way her eyes are guarded as she watches me is as though she can hardly stand the sight.
My heart is shattering right before her, but she’ll never know.
I look down at the snoring baby in my arms. My beautiful niece, Isabella. She’s only three weeks old and the reason I’ve been able to breathe again. I voulenteered to watch her for a few hours today while her mommy caught up on some sleep and her daddy went back to work.
Why did it have to be today that she came back?
I knew what she was thinking the second she saw me with this baby. She would have thought she was mine, and yet, I didn’t explain. I didn’t even bother trying. I know that I tore her to pieces after we slept together, but she did just as much damage when she left.
She was supposed to be gone for six months. She didn’t tell anyone where she was going or give us a way to contact her, so when that six months came and went, my life stopped. I could hardly get through each day, fearing that something had happened to her. So, seeing her looking as radiant as the day I told her I loved her, drew an anger out of me that I wasn’t prepare for.
She’s fucking fine and even though I know I didn’t deserve it, I’m sure it wouldn’t have killed her to pick up a phone and call me or Rylee to let us know she was alright. But no, that would have been too much to ask for.
So, I let her run out of here, thinking this baby was mine, and what’s more, I don’t regret it one bit. I’m sure she’ll work it out sooner or later, but for now, it feels too fucking good. I wanted to hurt her just as bad as her leaving had hurt me.
I’ve been in love with her since the day I met her, and every day after that, it only ever got stronger. Cami is my whole fucking life. She’s the sun in my sky and the reason I wake up in the morning. Everything I do revolves around her, and I swear, I would do just about anything to give her the world.
Except be with her.
She deserves a fucking king and I’m nothing but a monster. I know she loves me, it’s as clear as day. I just wish she didn’t. When I’m around her, I can’t help but gravitate towards her. I draw her in and I feed my selfish need of wanting to be with her, and then I take it too far. I give her a taste of what she needs only to take it away again.
Why can’t she see that I’m no good for her?
I shattered her seven months ago, and in doing that, I tore myself to shreds. But that moment with her was fucking magical. I had dreamed of that moment and it was more than I could have ever imagined.
Sliding into her was like coming home. She was fucking perfect, hell she still is. I haven’t been able to get the image of her taking me from my mind. I have never felt that way about a woman before and it just proves me to that she’s it for me. I’ll never love another woman the way that I love her.
I wish I could tell her these things, but I made that mistake once before. A mistake that I’ll never make again. What we have… this thing between us, it’s fucking intense. The way our bodies scream for one another is almost enough to drive me insane.
For two years now, I’ve done everything I can to try and forget about her. I tried to lose myself in other women, hell, I’ve drowned myself in alcohol. Nothing works. So, I drive her away, hoping that maybe, if she’s lucky enough, she’ll forget about me.
The last time I saw her, I destroyed her just by letting her in, and I swear, I’ll never do it again. I will never be the man for Cami Drew. Never again will I experience the wonder of her body or the way it felt when her arms wrapped around me. She’s a fucking goddess and I’m her nightmare.
There are so many things I should be telling her right now. I mean, I have no fucking clue when I’ll ever see her again, but I’m just so damn angry with her. She fucking disappeared after we were together. I mean, I get it. I hurt her in a way that we’ll never recover from, but then she just… disappeared.
I had no fucking idea where she was or if she was safe. I couldn’t call her because she’d left her fucking phone sitting on her kitchen counter. She had deactivated all her accounts and I was left here wondering where the hell she was.
I find myself walking back into my office and looking up the security footage from outside. My heart shatters as I see her sitting on the floor outside my club with her face buried in her hands as sobs rip from her body.
Fuck.
I let out a sigh as I look down at little Isabella. “Come on, bub,” I tell her. “We can’t just leave her there.”
I make my way out of my office and out through the big glass door of Rebels Advocate before walking out the front with Isabella firmly in my grasp. I see her there before me and I have to swallow down the ache that’s rising in my throat.
“What are you doing here?” I grunt
as I look down on her.
Cami flinches as the words hit her and I hate myself for it. She hastily pulls herself together before scrambling to her feet.
She narrows those beautiful eyes on me but they instantly fall down to Isabella. There’s nothing but pain shining through her eyes and I hate that, once again, I’m the reason it’s there.
I see a wall coming down behind her eyes as she tries to ignore the baby in my arms. It’s almost like a fire boiling up within her. She looked exhausted when she first walked in, but now, she’s just pissed and hurt.
She ignores my question and raises her chin. “You’ve got a baby.”
I ignore her comments just as she had ignored mine. “Why are you here, Cami?” I question, hating that the sound of her name feels so good on my tongue.
She lets out a sigh. “Are any of the boys here?”
I consider giving her the sarcastic versions of a ‘no’ but decide against it. I’m not really looking at having a screaming match with her out the front of my gym while I’m holding a newborn. That shit will have to wait until a later date.
She lets out a sigh and looks away. “Ok, well, um…” she looks back at Isabella. “I have to go.”
She turns and walks away and I stand here, watching her go, and as usual, my heart aches as she leaves. I hate watching her walk away from me. It fucking sucks. I mean, she’s leaving and I haven’t even touched her yet. I’ll be fine if I could just run my hands down her arms and make sure she’s ok.
I don’t know when I’ll see her again and the very thought has me racing after her. “Fuck,” I curse under my breath.
She stands out in the parking lot with her eyes closed as she releases a heavy breath. She looks tortured as though seeing me had been hardest thing she’s ever done, though, considering the circumstances, maybe it was. “Wait a fucking minute,” I say as I storm towards her.
Her eyes flick open and she turns towards me before taking a step back in her desperation to not get too close. “Jace. Please, just… not now, ok?” she says with tears in her beautiful eyes as she walks across to the side of the road and starts looking at the cars going by.
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