by Raina Wilde
Josh was surprised by this. Lori had always been very open and excited to talk about the adventures that she had planned for her life. She had never been one to keep secrets.
“The only thing that I know for sure, is that she still lives here in the Bay. ” Ashley stood up and prepared to return to the party. “Not that I know where. ” She grumbled. “I couldn’t even mail her invitation. ”
Ashley left the room and Josh was alone with his own thoughts. If Lori still lived in Norman’s Bay, it couldn’t be that difficult to track her down. With new found determination, he returned to the party. Tomorrow, he would find her. Tomorrow, she would have a lot of questions to answer and this time she would not be able to avoid him.
Chapter 5
Lori was rolling silverware into cloth napkins when he walked through the door.
Josh Bennett. As tall and handsome as ever, his life as a professional athlete had filled out his muscles making him look, if possible, even more appealing.
She sighed and continued with the task at hand. What she really wanted to do was run and hide in the back of the kitchens, but she refused to let him think that he had any effect on her any longer. It was inevitable that at some point during their stay Josh and Ashley would discover the truth about her life.
She had expected him to take a seat and wait to be served. When he made a beeline directly toward her, her heart began to race.
“You’re a hard girl to track down considering how small this town is. ” He sat on a stool on the other side of the counter and leaned his elbows on the surface.
Lori wasn’t surprised that the locals were hesitant to share information. It was well known in the town that Lori preferred to be left alone. She was pleased to hear that there were some people in town who respected that. After being disowned by her own family for getting pregnant, Lori had done her best to keep a low profile. She had survived on her own, and the townsfolk respected her for that.
When she didn’t respond he continued.
“I was surprised to find out that you came back. ” He said. He flashed that killer half smile that used to melt her knees and Lori reinforced the steel around her heart.
“Yeah, the music thing didn’t really work out and I guess I missed this place, so…” She shrugged and grabbed another napkin to start rolling, “here I am. ”
Josh’s hands settled over her own and forced her to stop what she was doing. She pulled her hand free and looked up and with raised eyebrows.
“Can I help you? ” She was proud that her voice sounded strong and reflected none of the quivering that was going on inside her.
“Don’t I at least get a smile? ” Was Josh Bennett really flirting with her? Lori resisted the urge to laugh at him as she gave him a sarcastic grin. It was clear that he did not realize how funny it was that he, a man famous all across the country, would be flirting with her, a woman with two dead-end jobs and the harsh reality of single-motherhood.
“Come on, Lori. ” He softened his tone and leaned closer. He smelled phenomenal. She had no idea what it was, but the cologne smelled like some ultra-masculine, exotic sent that sent her senses whirling.
She reminded herself that he had no effect on her. A little voice in her head said that this was a lie, but she ignored it completely.
“I was hoping to see you this weekend. ” Josh’s interest was apparent and now that she had remembered his reputation, she was determined to make him leave. “Why don’t you let me take you to dinner? I’d love to know what you’ve been up to. ”
Lori was surprised to find that he seemed genuinely interested. She reminded herself that this was a ruse that he had probably perfected on his many nights with his many women.
Josh Bennett was the king of flings and she wanted no part of that. Her heart could not handle going through that again. That tiny voice inside of her head chimed in once more and reminded her that he had not always been that way.
Despite her better judgment her memory flashed back to the month before she had graduated high school, and she and Josh had really gotten to know each other. He had been sweet, kind, and everything that she had ever dreamed of. He had set the bar so high in the short time, that Lori had never met another man who came even close to meeting those standards.
It saddened her that he had changed. She supposed that fame could do that to a person.
“Lori? ” Josh pulled her from her thoughts and she realized that he had noted her distraction.
“Josh, I think you had better go. ” She offered him what she hoped was a friendly smile and gathered her rolls of silverware in her arms. “It was nice to see you, and I would have loved to go to dinner with you but I’m really very busy…”
“Don’t lie, Lori. You’ve been blowing me off for four years. I think I know a brushoff by now. ” He stood to leave. Lori was surprised to find his voice did not sound angry. Instead, he sounded sad. “I know that you have to work right now, so I’ll give you some space, but I’m in town all week so if you ever find a free moment maybe we could talk. ”
Lori watched him walk away and it felt as if she had been punched directly in the heart. All of the other times she had been able to simply not respond to a message or a phone call. Rejecting Josh, to his face, was much more difficult than anything that she had ever done before.
Chapter 6
Josh was waiting outside of the pub when Lori got off work. The sun was still shining as he watched her take off down the sidewalk. Soon, her path would cross his, and hopefully she would talk with him. It had occurred to Josh after he had left the pub that Lori was an expert at avoidance.
She was never going to make time for him this week, of that he was certain. Whether or not she was interested in him now, he wanted answers for the past. He needed them. If there was any hope that he would be able to move on he needed to know what had gone wrong.
Lori looked up to see him sitting on a bench outside of the local café. He watched her take a deep breath before walking toward him. The action had either been as a way to prepare herself and gather her fortitude, or an expression of frustration at seeing him again. He hoped that it had been the first option, but he was fairly certain that it was the second.
She walked up to his tiny bistro table and sat her hands on the back of the chair across from him. She did not sit down.
“You aren’t going to go away, are you? ” He thought he heard a hint of amusement in her tone.
He shook his head. She slipped into the chair across from him. She flagged down the waitress and ordered a coffee for herself.
To Josh’s utter surprise Lori made small talk with him for nearly 15 minutes. Though she kept the conversation light, and continued to be vague about her personal life, Josh took it as a small success that she was even speaking with him.
During the conversation he noted that she was not wearing a wedding ring and he felt a small flame of hope inside of him.
Lori’s phone buzzed with a text. She apologized, and quickly read the message.
“I’ve got to get going. ” She opened her wallet to pay for the coffee and Josh waved her away.
“You’ve put up with me for a full fifteen minutes, the least I can do is buy your coffee. ” He laughed. When Lori’s smile spread across her face and she released a note of genuine laughter, Josh felt as if time had suddenly stopped. When had she become so serious? This was the Lori that he remembered. The lighthearted, humorous, friendly girl with nothing to hide.
He watched Lori walk away and Josh mentally chided himself. Why was he doing putting himself through this? He knew exactly where this road would lead. Straight down the track of heartbreak, that was where.
It was clear that Lori was over him. She was so calm and collected while he was sitting there a bundle of nerves with his heart pounding so high in his chest that he felt as if he would not be able to swallow. What was it about this woman that made him willing to torture himself?
Suddenly, Josh noticed that Lori was waiting at the bus
stop. She shouldn’t have to ride the bus home, when he was perfectly capable of driving her. He jogged over to where she stood and offered her a ride, which she instantly rejected. After much persuasion, upon him forcing her to admit that the bus was usually late, Lori agreed to allow Josh to drive her home.
When they pulled up to the apartment Josh placed the rental car in park and turned to face Lori. He had no idea what to say, but he would do anything to have a few more moments with her.
“How long you been here? ” He gestured at the apartment building but never looked away from her green eyes. Lori paused for a long time before answering. Finally, she closed her eyes and spoke.
“Four years. ” Her voice was barely a whisper. At first he thought that he had heard her wrong. Four years? That would mean that she was living here almost immediately after graduation.
“How long were you at…” He failed to remember the name of the prestigious school that she had been planning to attend the following fall.
Lori looked up at him with sad, but tearless, eyes.
“I never went. ” She admitted. “I’ve been here the entire time. ” Her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke. Before Josh had a chance to respond she had vaulted out of the vehicle and slammed the door behind her. She sprinted to the door of her apartment building and never looked back.
Chapter 7
The next day, Lori spent the afternoon with Ashley choosing songs for the wedding ceremony. Lori had been relieved to find out that Josh was not expected to be at the Bennett house today. Apparently, some of his old buddies from high school were getting together to play flag football and he had been invited.
It seemed as if she and Ashley had never been apart. They quickly fell back into the roles of their old friendship and Lori Felt an aching in her heart for the friend she had lost. She had missed this.
Sometime later, Josh walked through the door to find the girls sitting on the living room floor with piles of paper spread around them.
“This look like old times. ” His smile was infectious. Lori reminded herself that he had not meant it as a barb, but the comment had been hard to stomach.
“Josh! Look what the cat dragged in. ” She gestured to Lori who sitting cross-legged beside her. Josh leaned forward and offered a hand to Lori, who shook it while trying to hide the confused expression on her face.
“It’s nice to see you again, Lori. ” His smile revealed nothing of their last embarrassing encounter. “It’s been a long time. ”
Lori decided to play along. Keeping their interaction a secret from Ashley, and everyone else for that matter, had always been a silly game that they played. Lori was surprised that, after all this time, Josh had never clued his sister in.
The threesome had been chatting for several minutes when one of the gardeners interrupted to tell Ashley that the tents were being installed in the wrong location. With the wedding emergency as her primary focus, Ashley rushed from the room leaving Lori alone with Josh.
Lori began to haphazardly collect the papers into a pile, while Josh lounged on the couch watching her.
“Do you remember that time that you and Ashley wrote your own musical play? ” He asked as he smiled at the memory. Lori had to tell herself to look away. It would be much too easy to get caught up in memories with Josh. “Our old living room was covered in paper, just like this. ”
Lori remembered. She and Ashley had run around the Bennett’s house all summer writing the songs for the production that they were sure was going to be a Broadway hit. They had been eleven, and the story had been abysmal.
“Yes. ” She laughed. “I also remember that you and your friends burned our master script the day after it had been completed. ”
Josh released a roar of laughter. “I could not listen to those songs any longer. They were terrible. ”
“They were, weren’t they? ” Lori agreed. At the time the loss had been devastating. As her skill had grown over the years, she had later come to appreciate the fact that the boys had restrained themselves for so long.
Lori stood up and carried the stack of papers over to a nearby table and set them down. She evaluated her options for a place to sit and then remembered why she and Ashley had ended up on the floor in the first place. Almost all of the seating was covered with Ashley’s massive collection of wedding-planning materials. There were fabric swatches and silk flower patterns on one chair, an assortment of vases on another. The ottoman was littered with magazines, and the loveseat held several boxes of table favors that had yet to be assembled.
The only place to sit was beside Josh, on the couch. From the look on his face, he was well aware of her dilemma.
“Afraid? ” He taunted.
Never one to back down from a challenge, Lori straightened her shoulders and walked over to the couch, where she sat pointedly against the opposite arm. She crossed her legs beneath her and turned to face him. With her back to the arm of the sofa, she felt more secure, while giving off the appearance of calm assurance.
“Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? ” She needed to get the conversation flowing again. The silence left too much space for her brain to analyze the man sitting in front of her. Today, he seemed more like his old self. He was calm and casual. She wondered if being out of the public eye eased some of the cockiness that she had seen the day before.
“Hmm? ” the low hum-of-a-question sent a shiver down her spine. Why did even his voice have to be sexy? Lori told herself to snap out of it. She needed to focus. She just needed to survive until Ashley returned, then hopefully Josh would leave.
“At the café… I was thinking about the first time that you tried coffee. ” She smiled as the memory played across her mind.
“It was a dare. ” He stated bluntly. It was clear that he still harbored resentment for the friend that had dared him to chug an entire mug of coffee, a large amount of caffeine for someone who had never had it before.
“I see that you can hold your caffeine a little better these days. ” She teased.
“Very funny!” He shot back with a grin. “I wouldn’t have cared except that it was on the day of my graduation and couldn’t even pay attention to the ceremony because I was so worried that I was going to be sick again. ”
Lori laughed. A full, hearty laugh that left Josh staring at her with an expression that she could not read.
“Do you remember yours? ” His voice was low and Lori suddenly found it hard to breathe.
“My what? ” Why did her voice have to sound all soft and sultry when she spoke? She needed to control that.
“Your graduation. ” Josh’s eyes bore into her own. Of course she remembered. How could she not? After weeks of flirting and secret embraces, her graduation night had been the stuff of fairy tales. She and Josh had been able to sneak away from a bonfire that they had both attended. No one had noticed their absence and they had had the entire night to themselves.
They had made love that night. It was something that she would never forget.
Lori could not bring herself to answer, but her silence told Josh everything that he needed to know. She remembered. She remembered every detail as if it had been yesterday.
Josh hooked his hand inside of her bent knee and pulled her toward him. Lori did not resist. She could not resist. Every cell in her body was aching for him. Even though she knew that this was a terrible idea, she knew that a part of her had wanted to see in his eyes what she was seeing right now.
Passion. She only wanted to focus on that part because she was afraid that there was something else that she could see there. Something that she did not want to confront. Something that she was certain was in her own gaze as well. Pain.
When he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, she could tell that he was expecting her to pull away. She should have pulled away, but she did not.
Instead, she felt her lips part and she leaned into the kiss as if it was the last thing she would ever do.
She had neve
r stopped loving Josh. She knew that now.
She might have been able to cover it up by hiding from him, but every second that she spent in his presence peeled a bit of her resilience away.
Josh deepened the kiss. He was holding himself back, perhaps afraid to scare her, but she wanted more.
Lori brushed her tongue against his lips and Josh broke.
His hands thrust into her hair and he pulled her as close as their seated positions would allow. Their tongues met and Lori knew that there was no resisting. She curled her hands into his shirt and pulled him ever closer.
Suddenly, an image of Emmy flashed in her mind and Lori forced herself away with a jolt. What had she been thinking? What had she been doing? She had a three-year-old daughter at home who needed her and here she was giving into the same juvenile passions that had gotten her here in the first place.
Josh was taking ragged breaths and watching Lori back away out of the corner of his eyes.
“Why didn’t you ever give us a shot? ” His words came in gasps with his breath.
“I… I told you. ” She was struggling to calm her own body as well.
“No. ” Josh’s voice was firm. “You said it was nothing. ” He pointed at her. “That… was not nothing. It was something then, and it still is now. ”
She hated that he had to be so straightforward. Why couldn’t Josh just let it go? She needed him to because obviously she had been unable to tamper the desire after all of this time.
“Josh… I told you. ” She searched her brain for the excuses that she had given all those years ago. “It just… wouldn’t work. ”
“Why? Because I’m Ashley’s brother? ” He demanded. “Obviously that doesn’t matter because you don’t speak to her anymore either. And while we are on the topic, what the hell happened there? ”
Lori was feeling very panicked. She could not answer. She just shook her head in silence.
The answer to both of those questions was the same. Emmy. She could not have maintained a friendship with Ashley without Josh finding out that Lori was pregnant. It had been a necessary evil. One that she would do again to protect those that she loved. All of them. Josh would have never been able to follow his dreams the way that he had if he had felt responsible for Lori and Emmy. No. She had made the right decision and she was not going to regret it now.