A few minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I scrubbed my face with my hand and went around the corner to open it, never expecting that instead of Casper, Rebel would be standing on the threshold.
“Can we talk?”
“Uh…sure, sure. Come in.” I looked beyond her for Casper, but it was too dark to see.
“Expecting someone else?”
“Uh…no, no.” Why was I lying to her when Casper would be here at any moment?
“You sure about that?”
I scrubbed my face a second time, again wishing I wasn’t so pissed.
“Can I get you anything?”
“A beer would be nice. Thanks.”
I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle. “Glass?”
“I’m good. Not having one?”
“Nah. I’ve had a few already.”
“So…I want to apologize for the way I left this morning.”
I couldn’t focus on what she was saying as I waited with dread for another knock on the door. “Accepted.”
“Edge? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Why?”
“First of all, why do you keep repeating everything twice? ‘Sure, sure.’ ‘No, no.’ ‘Yeah, yeah.’”
I scrubbed my face a third time. “Long day, I guess.”
“And you keep rubbing your hand over your face.”
“Listen, the truth is—”
Knock, knock.
“I thought you weren’t expecting anyone.”
“It’s just Casper. You know, about the job.” I walked around the corner and over to the front door, hoping she’d just go along with everything I said when she saw Rebel sitting in the kitchen. Before I could utter a syllable, I watched as one sentence unraveled any progress I’d momentarily hoped to make.
“Thanks again for letting me stay, Edge. I can’t say I’m sorry Rebel left.”
I took Casper by the arm. “And, as you can see, she’s back.” Probably not my most eloquent attempt at salvaging anything at all with the woman I wished had come back to stay forever.
“I was just leaving.” Rebel slammed past me and out the front door, closing it so hard I thought the paintings might fall from the walls.
“Oh, no. God, Edge. I’m so sorry.”
My eyes met Casper’s. “It’s okay.” But it wasn’t, and something told me it never would be again.
“Bloody hell,” I groaned when I rolled over and the sun shone in my eyes. It wasn’t so much that I was hungover; it was more the memory of how quickly my life had gone straight to hell that made me want to crawl into a cave. Or go lie on a beach for a month. Not without Rebel, though.
I picked up my mobile and checked the time. Half past nine, which meant I’d missed breakfast at the dining hall. It would be another ninety minutes before lunch service began and I’d have a chance to talk to Rebel.
Was going there even fair? But I had to. I couldn’t ring her. When I talked to her, it had to be in person. Maybe it would be better if I showed up near the end of dinner and ask if we could talk after.
The idea of getting out of bed to take a shower felt like a punch to my gut. If I set foot in that bloody lavatory, all I’d see would be Rebel’s unbearably hot body in the tub I prayed I’d talk her back into one day.
My phone chimed, but with an alert from Grinder, not Rebel. I thought about ignoring him, but given I’d slept most of the morning away, I decided against it.
Get your arse out of bed, you lazy wanker, the text read.
Sod off.
Let’s ride.
If anything could get me out of bed, that was it. It had been too long since I’d ridden out. Maybe that’s why my head was so far up my arse.
I managed to take a shower by averting my eyes from the tub. Thank God she and I hadn’t shagged in there, or I might’ve had to resort to using the guest lav, or even go as far as to move out of this house altogether.
I was done for. Grinder was right, whether he was trying to take the piss out of me or not. I had fallen in love with Rebel, and I had to get her back. That was all there was to it.
“Good morning,” said Casper when I walked down the hall and found her sitting at the breakfast bar. “I made coffee, but it’s probably cold now.”
“No worries.” I walked over to the fridge, opened and shut it. “I’ll get something at the barn.”
“Listen, Edge, I want to apologize for what happened last night and also tell you I’m leaving.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted her to leave. “Oh?”
“With Christmas coming, I thought maybe it would be a good time to get my place ready to put on the market. A lot of people come to Florida in January.”
“Right. Good idea.”
“I really am sorry. I wish you’d at least look at me.”
She was right. I hadn’t. I turned around. “No need to be sorry. What happened was my fault. It started long before you arrived.”
“But I made it worse.”
I shook my head. “I feel like a bloody wanker now. You don’t have to go…”
“Yeah, I do, Edge.”
I noticed her bag was already by the door to the garage.
“I’m catching a ride to the airport with Rile.”
“Good. That’s good.” I ran my hand through my hair, and she got off the stool and walked over to me.
“Thanks, Edge. Rile’s here now.”
We embraced, cheek-kissed, and she left. I wondered if I hadn’t come out of the bedroom when I did, if I would’ve even known she was gone.
33
Rebel
I was standing in the kitchen, multiplying my recipe for bread pudding, when I heard the dining hall door open. I rested my hand on the gun tucked into the waistband of my pants, and leaned over to see who had come in. It didn’t matter that Edge or anyone else told me the thing with Possum was over. Since the day I was threatened, I wore a gun everywhere I went.
“Fuck,” I muttered when I saw Casper walk in. Too late to go hide in the storeroom and pretend I didn’t see her.
She walked straight into the kitchen like she owned the place. Same way she’d walked into Edge’s house last night.
“Can I help you?” I heard Tee-Tee ask from somewhere behind me.
“I’m here to see Rebel.”
I set down my pencil and paper. “What do you want?” She smiled. Did she find me funny? Fuck her. I turned on my heel to walk away.
“Wait. I want to apologize.”
I turned back around but stood where I was. If she wanted to say she was sorry, she could do it from ten feet away.
“I led you to believe that something had gone on between Edge and me. Nothing ever did.”
“He told me.”
“My husband died—”
“He told me that too.”
“I guess you aren’t gonna make this easy on me.”
“Should I?”
She smiled again. “It’s too bad things between us got off on the wrong foot. I like you, Rebel.”
I couldn’t say the same, but I was already being enough of a bitch. “Was there anything else?”
“Edge loves you.”
I put my hand on my stomach and laughed. “Right. Edge loves me. That’s a good one. Edge doesn’t even know me.”
“Well, that’s all I came to say. I hope you’ll give him another chance.”
“Thanks.” I watched her walk out, wishing I had it in me to be as big of a person as she was. When I looked over, Tee-Tee was studying me, maybe thinking the same thing. “Wait,” I hollered after her.
Casper stopped walking and turned toward me.
“Two things. First, I’m really sorry about your husband, and second, thank you for everything you did for me. I guess I pretty much owe you my life.”
She smiled again. “No, you owe your life to Edge.”
She walked out, and I wanted to scream. Yes, I did owe Edge my life. Nice of her to fucking remind me.
“I ne
ed to go for a walk. I’ll be back,” I said to Tee-Tee from where I stood.
She didn’t answer, but I was supposed to be on a break anyway. I made sure the car Casper got in drove away before I stormed out of the dining hall’s front door and walked straight into Edge.
“Hey,” he said, gripping my shoulders. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”
I wiggled out of his grasp and took a step back. “For a walk.”
“I was just about to go for a ride. Do you have time to join me?”
A ride sounded like the best thing ever. It had been so long since I was on horseback. I couldn’t remember the last time. I looked over at the man standing a few feet away. Edge followed my gaze.
“Hi, Grinder.”
He waved from where he stood. “Hey, Rebel.”
“You two riding together?”
Grinder shook his head. “Actually, I was just headed back to the house.”
He left, and Edge turned back to me. “So, what do you say about the ride?”
“I only have about an hour.”
“We’ll make it a short one, then.”
“You just missed your friend.”
“My friend?”
“Casper stopped by to talk to me.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry,” I said when I saw his furrowed brow. “She apologized for last night.”
“Something I should do as well. I’m sorry, Rebel.”
“I’m sorry too, Edge.”
“Did she say anything else?”
“Not really.” Yes, as a matter of fact, she told me you loved me and that I owed you my life. There was no way I was going to tell him either of those things.
When we walked into the barn, I was shocked to see Tee-Tee sitting in the office.
“Hi,” I said, following Edge in.
“Nice walk?” She winked.
“We’re going for a ride,” Edge answered. “As long as it’s okay with Boon if we take a couple of the horses out.”
“Mija, have you met Boon?”
“At the dining hall.”
“That’s right. Well, have a nice ride.”
“It’ll be a short one. I’ll be back in time for lunch.”
“Take all the time you want. Lunch is ready. I don’t need you today.”
“Tía…” I gave her my sternest look.
“What? Do you think I’d be sitting around talking to Boon if lunch weren’t ready? Have fun, Mija.”
We’d been out riding for maybe twenty minutes when Edge brought his horse to a stop.
“Rebel, I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay, Edge. I know you meant well.”
“You do?”
“A little high-handed, but yeah.”
He laughed when I did.
“I need to be serious for a minute, though. Okay?”
The smile left his face. “Of course.”
“I know you think you know me, but the truth is, I don’t even know myself. I stayed up all night last night thinking about that. I don’t know who I am anymore. Does that make sense?”
“You’ve been through a lot.”
“I have, and it isn’t over yet. There’s still the hearing.”
“Have you heard from Hammer about it?”
“Not yet.”
“I can follow up with him.”
I looked off in the distance. “I can too, Edge.”
“Right. Yes. You can.”
“I need to figure out my life, and in order to do that, I need to be alone.”
“I see.”
“And I meant what I said. I will pay you back.”
“There’s nothing to pay back.”
“You let me stay in your house.”
“You were a guest. I don’t charge my guests overnight accommodation fees.”
“Okay, then, what about the clothes and other things you bought for me?”
“I believe I got more pleasure from your clothes than you did. The knickers in particular.”
“You fixed my car.”
“I’ll concede that one. You may reimburse me for one battery.”
“I don’t want to think about what it cost for you to find Possum’s killer…and all the other stuff I know nothing about.”
“It was an investigation into a murder as well as into a domestic terrorist group. We’ll be duly compensated.”
“I have a hard time believing that Hays County is going to pay a group of private security people to solve their crimes.”
Edge didn’t respond, and I knew no matter how hard I pushed on this subject, he wouldn’t.
“I’m staying with Tee-Tee.”
“I know.”
“It’s only been two nights, but I think staying with her will have a positive impact on my life.”
“I’m very glad to hear it.”
“She apologized for what happened all those years ago. It ended up being a trick to get me to agree to live with her.” I shook my head. “No, that isn’t right. The apology part wasn’t a trick.”
“Rebel—”
“I think I know what you’re about to say, Edge, but even if I’m wrong, I need you to understand that I’m unwilling to budge on this. There’s never been a time in my life when I had the means to think about a future. I have that now. Thanks to you and Tee-Tee.”
“Can I still see you?”
I smiled. “Define seeing me.”
“Spend time with you like this. Go for rides. Talk.”
“No sex, Edge. No baths, no trying to take care of me, no long, hard, deep kisses.”
“Got it.”
“That was too easy.”
“There’s nothing easy about it, Rebel. I can’t accept you no longer being a part of my life. If it means I can’t ever kiss you again in order to spend time with you, that’s something I’ll learn to accept.”
When he turned his horse around, I followed him back to the barn. Had I really just told him no kissing? I must be out of my mind. On the other hand, for the first time ever, just like I’d told him, I was focusing on me. Me and no one else.
We’d dismounted and were cooling down the horses when Edge’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out and looked at the screen. “It’s Hammer. Shall I tell him to ring you directly?”
“It’s okay, Edge. You can talk to him.”
He ended the call a couple of minutes later, saying the hearing for the dismissal of the murder charge was scheduled for four this afternoon.
“I’ll need to talk to Tee-Tee.”
Edge nodded. “You go. I’ll take care of your horse.”
“Thanks.” I handed him the reins and walked away.
“Hey, Rebel?” he shouted after me. “Good luck this afternoon.”
I waved and kept walking as I let the weight of his words fall on my shoulders, and that’s exactly what they did. Every step became drudgery as I realized I truly was on my own—just like I’d told him I wanted to be.
“I don’t understand, Mija. I’m sure Edge would go with you if you asked.”
“That’s the point, Tía. I told him I wanted to do things on my own. He said he’d respect that. I can’t turn right around and ask him to hold my hand.”
“If I had more notice, I could go with you.”
I smiled. “I appreciate that so much, but like I told Edge, I need to be independent. I need to figure out my life and what I want it to be on my own. The first step is this hearing. Once it’s over, I’ll be free.”
I knew Tee-Tee didn’t understand, and that had to be okay for both of us. I climbed into Susan and drove off the ranch, hoping that when I came back later, I’d be able to figure out how to get back in the gate.
“Where’s Edge? Parking the truck?” Hammer asked when I approached him outside the courtroom.
“He didn’t come.”
“What? Why not?”
“It’s my hearing.”
“He’s your custodian.” Hammer rubbed his hand over his bald head and then pulled
out his cell phone and walked away.
“Hey,” a familiar voice said from behind me. “What’s wrong with Hammer?”
I spun around and looked into Edge’s eyes. “I just told him you wouldn’t be here.”
“I have to be. I’m your custodian.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”
When Edge put his hands in his pockets, something told me he did it so he wasn’t tempted to touch me.
“There you are!” shouted Hammer. “She said you weren’t coming.”
“Misunderstanding,” Edge muttered and then winked at me.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Hammer motioned for Edge and me to go in front of him and then to the row where we should sit. As I turned to do so, someone in the back row caught my attention. My public defender was here. Obviously, he had other cases; however, there was no one else in the courtroom.
“What’s wrong?” Edge whispered.
“The man in the back row. That’s my former attorney.”
Edge leaned over and told Hammer what I’d told him.
Hammer looked at both of us. “What the hell is John Lynch doing here?”
34
Edge
Rebel looked as sick as I felt. I thought back to the first day Hammer took over as her attorney and what he’d said. “I don’t understand why the judge didn’t make the PD recuse himself. He’s got a goddamn tie to the vic.”
His name was Lynch. Was it a coincidence? Given we weren’t able to find anyone associated with the ABT with the same name, I had to believe it wasn’t.
I looked into Rebel’s wide eyes. “Let’s get through the hearing.”
“Okay,” she mouthed.
I knew I shouldn’t do it, but I couldn’t help myself. I reached over and took her left hand in my right. Instead of pulling away, she covered both with her other hand. I felt mine begin to shake, but again, instead of pulling away, she held it tighter, and the shaking stopped.
If only I could go back and unsay all the ridiculous things I’d said to her. But would it change anything? Wouldn’t Rebel still want her independence? Still want to figure out the rest of her life on her own?
Edged (The Invincibles Book 2) Page 16