David sighed deeply. ‘Whatever happened is between you and Alex, but you’ve now lost the best support you could have. He’s done a lot for you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve seen the last of him.’
‘Don’t you think I know that?’ Her bottom lip trembled. ‘I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out, but I won’t be bought. I feel beaten down enough without being offered money to …’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘Never mind.’
‘He didn’t make an improper offer, did he?’ David’s eyes narrowed as he studied her.
‘No, of course not!’
‘Then what are you talking about? His help so far has been given freely, without thought of reward. Tell me, Gertie. You’ve never kept things from me before.’
‘He offered to give me our house as a wedding present if I married him. I know he wants a wife. I understand his need, but he’s the most eligible man in London, so why on earth did he make an offer like that? He could have any girl he wants.’
‘Except you,’ David said sadly. ‘He told me you didn’t let him finish what he was saying.’
‘What was I supposed to do? Stand there and let him humiliate me?’
‘If you’d had the decency to hear him out I’m sure you would have found that “buying” you was not his intention. I’ve come to know him well lately, and if I’ve read the signs right, Alex is in love with you.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous! He might have shown an interest when he first returned home, but that was ages ago, and now he knows me better I’m sure he’s changed his mind. He needs a docile, obedient wife, not someone who is argumentative and has a mind of her own.’
‘How do you know that’s what he wants?’
‘That’s what every man wants, isn’t it?’
‘Oh, Gertie.’ David was shaking his head in dismay. ‘You don’t know the first thing about men, do you? Think about it. Why would he have bought your house and then let you remain living there? Why would he expose the men who cheated your brother? And why would he take the time and trouble to trace Edward? He’s been home for more than a year, leaving the army he loved in order to take over the family responsibilities. He needs to have a family around him again. He could have had his pick the moment he came back, but he’s wasted his time on someone who’s made it clear she despises him.’
‘I don’t despise him!’ she declared defensively.
He put his hand under her chin to make her look up at him. ‘I think his feelings for you are more than liking. Turn him down if you must, but at least do it graciously. You’re a bloody fool, Gertie.’
She stepped back, trembling, and grabbed hold of the desk to steady herself. He’d never spoken to her like that before, and it hurt. With hesitant steps, she walked towards the door.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To find a jeweller.’ Her voice was faint.
‘I said I’d sell anything for you. Give it to me.’
She shook her head. ‘You’ve done enough. Everyone’s done enough. It’s time I stopped relying on others and started taking control of myself.’
‘Don’t be stupid. Give me the jewellery.’
Suddenly she spun round, eyes blazing. ‘Stop calling me names, David! I’m lost! Don’t you realise that? My life until now has been comfortable, secure, and surrounded by people who love me. No demands were made on me. As long as I was happy, my parents were content. Now that’s all gone and I’m floundering like a fish out of water. My parents are suffering and I’m helpless, unable to ease their pain. I’m sorry to have failed you and Mr Glendale. I’m trying to do what’s right, but I can’t think straight. Nothing in my life has prepared me to cope with this terrible crisis, and I’m letting everyone down—’
He watched in horror as silent tears ran down her cheeks. The lovely, happy girl he’d known for so long had disappeared before his eyes. Standing in front of him now was a confused and heartbroken woman. She had been coping well, or so he’d thought, managing to keep a smile on her face, but her mother’s illness was clearly tearing her apart. Her foundations in life had been torn from under her.
‘Oh, don’t do that!’ He stepped forward and held her in his arms. ‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those harsh things to you.’
‘I deserved them,’ she murmured, burying her head in his shoulder. ‘You’re quite right. I’m impossible.’
‘We’ve always known that, haven’t we?’ he teased gently.
She made a sound something like a laugh and a sob combined. Then she looked up, pleading in her eyes. ‘Be patient with me, please. Don’t turn against me. I couldn’t stand that.’
‘I’ll always be here for you. We’re all under strain and must try to understand each other.’
Nodding, she stepped back, wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. ‘I always considered myself to be a strong person, but I now know that isn’t so.’
‘You listen to me. Don’t believe that about yourself because it isn’t true. You’re trying to cope with a living nightmare. I haven’t seen your mother, but it must be terrible watching her day after day, not knowing if she’s ever going to recover. Many would sink under the strain.’
‘I know I mustn’t, and that frightens me. Father needs me as well.’ She straightened up. ‘I’ll apologise to Mr Glendale if he’ll see me. Do you think he will?’
‘I don’t know. And he told me he was going to the country for a while.’
‘Oh, when?’
‘He didn’t say, but soon, I expect.’ He was relieved to see some colour coming back to her face.
‘Then I mustn’t waste any time.’
‘Are you going to give me the jewellery?’ he asked gently as she made for the door.
‘No, you’ve got enough to do. I’ll deal with it myself.’ Her smile gave a glimpse of the girl she really was. ‘And I won’t let them cheat me!’
‘That’s my girl.’ He didn’t argue, seeing it was important to her. Her confidence had been shaken, and she needed to regain her sense of self-worth.
The office door opened a crack and Millie’s worried face appeared. ‘I’ve made a strong cuppa, Miss. Have one before you go. My mum says it puts a spring back in your step when you’re feeling down.’
‘And she’s quite right.’ He took hold of Gertie’s arm and led her to a chair. ‘You join us as well, Millie. And have we got any of those shortcake biscuits left?’
A rustling sound came from the outer office, then the door opened wide and Millie came in carrying a tray laden with tea and the requested biscuits. There was also a small parcel tucked under her arm.
‘Thanks, Millie.’ Gertrude managed a tight smile. ‘Just what I need.’
After placing the tray on the desk, Millie handed Gertrude the parcel. ‘Me and Fred got you this as a little thank you for all you’ve done for us. Hope you like it.’
‘Oh, you shouldn’t be spending your money on me.’
‘We thought it would cheer you up. And it didn’t cost much.’ She smirked. ‘We beat old Partridge down.’
‘That’s very kind of you.’ She removed the paper wrapping and studied the book in her hands, swallowing hard to keep the tears of gratitude at bay. The fact that Fred and Millie had thought of her in this way was balm to her troubled mind.
‘How lovely!’ she exclaimed. ‘Look, David, a book of poems by all the famous poets.’
‘Ah, you’ll enjoy that.’ He leant across to get a better look.
‘I will.’ She stood up and kissed Millie on the cheek, much to the young girl’s surprise and pleasure. ‘Thank you. I’ll treasure this.’
Millie beamed. ‘We wrote in the front.’
When she opened the book at the front, there in the girl’s beautiful writing were the words, ‘Hold on to your dreams.’
‘Fred told me what to put. He said it was important ’cos in the bad times we must always have something to hold on to – some hope for the future. Might sound daft to you, but that’s how we think.’
/> ‘It isn’t daft, Millie. And I promise to do my best to remember. If I start to forget, all I’ll need to do is read this lovely book. I’ll pop into the workshop on my way home and thank Fred as well.’
‘That’ll please him.’ She set about pouring the tea. ‘I don’t know nothing about poetry, but Mr Partridge in the shop said it was good and you’d like it.’
‘He knows my taste in literature.’ She gave a wistful smile. ‘I do miss my visits to the shop. I used to spend ages rummaging through the shelves to see what I could find.’
‘You’ll be able to do that again.’ Millie handed around the biscuits. ‘Won’t she, Mr Gardener?’
‘Of course.’ He sat back, happy to let the young girl chat away, relieved to see Gertie’s composure returning.
‘Things change and we can’t do nothing about it, but things have a way of working out. When we look back on the bad times we can often see something good come out of it. We have to look real hard at times, but Mum says there’s always a spark of good there.’
Amusement spread across David’s face. ‘You’re a philosopher, Millie. How did you become so wise?’
‘You’re teasing me again, Mr Gardener. I ain’t wise. I’ve just taken lots of knocks in life, and you have to learn not to let things get you down. Many times I’ve felt like grizzling, but Mum and Fred are the wise ones and they soon puts me right.’ She sat down and leant forward. ‘We sits down with a cuppa and we think of all the things we would like to do. Many of those dreams won’t come true, but that don’t matter. It gives us something to hope for.’
‘Fred told me your big dream was to get out of the slums and live in the country.’ Gertrude was fascinated. Millie couldn’t be more than sixteen, but she was mature beyond her years.
‘Oh, that one isn’t just a dream, it’s something we’re gonna make come true. Even if it takes us till we’re old and grey. We’re gonna get out of the filth and poverty, and take our families with us.’ She nodded her head, her mouth set in a determined line.
The feeling of inadequacy and fear that she would not be able to cope much longer had eased since she had talked to David and Millie. David had been quite right to point out her failings. That had made her take a good look at herself, and she didn’t like what she’d seen. Her conduct towards Alexander Glendale had been down-right rude from the moment she’d met him. She was the one who needed to apologise, and she would do that now. Then she’d call in and thank Fred for his thoughtful gift.
There was fresh purpose in her step, and she blessed her friends for waking her out of the gloomy frame of mind she’d allowed herself to slip into. What good was she going to be to her parents if she continued in that way?
The first jewellers she came to was a smart shop, and she marched in, determined not to be intimidated this time.
Fifteen minutes later she walked out well-satisfied. Not only had he given her what she considered a fair price for her mother’s necklace and small ruby and pearl brooch, but she still had some pieces left for another day. She now had enough to pay the nurses for the next two weeks, but there was also a little she could use on fares. There was a lot she needed to do today, so it would help to travel by cab, as it would save time. She didn’t like to be away from her mother for any length of time, in case she called for her.
It wasn’t long before she was climbing the steps at Mr Glendale’s home.
‘I’m sorry, Miss Melrose, but Mr Glendale isn’t at home, and I don’t know when to expect him. Perhaps you’d like to leave a message?’
‘No, thank you. I’d rather see him in person.’ This was disappointing because once she’d made up her mind to do something then she liked to get on with it. And her apology could not be put in a short note. ‘Do you know if it would be convenient for me to call sometime tomorrow?’
‘He will be away for a while,’ the butler told her.
‘Away?’ She was too late! He’d gone already.
‘Yes, Miss Melrose. Would you like me to let him know you called?’
She shook her head. ‘That won’t be necessary. I’ll see him when he returns.’
And I hope I don’t lose my nerve while I’m waiting, she thought as she walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The house had a neglected, unlived-in air about it. The staff had done their best to make it ready for him, but he’d given them little warning of his arrival. He should have come sooner, but he hadn’t been ready to face it. The house had been a happy family home and was full of memories, but this had to be done. It was no good delaying it any longer.
It was February now, but spring was still a long way off. With his collar pulled up and hands in his pockets he wandered through the garden, head bent against the biting wind, and the memories flooded in. Stopping, he gazed up at the large tree he’d climbed at the age of nine and got stuck. His father had had to climb up and coax him down. His little sister had taunted him until he’d climbed it again the next day to prove he could get up and down by himself. It was an act of bravado but he’d always been very determined, even at that young age. Nothing dented his confidence and failure was not a word in his vocabulary. If he failed at something he would keep on until he mastered it.
He gazed at the bare branches. Where was that boy now? Where was the confidence and determination? Had it died with his family?
‘No!’ he said out loud, clenching his hands into fists. The tragedy that had befallen his family had torn his life apart, but he was still the same person, and would damned well prove it!
Stripping off his coat, he hung it on a low branch, spat on his hands and began to haul himself up. He didn’t stop until he reached the very top branches, then he gazed across to the house. How he loved this place. There were only happy memories here and he couldn’t understand why he had been so reluctant to come. He’d been blessed with a loving family, and he would have one again. Gertrude wouldn’t have him; that was a disappointment, and had done nothing for his confidence, but he’d find someone else. If he chose carefully, he should be able to make a happy marriage. Perhaps not with the passion he felt for that other spirited young lady, but there would be someone else for him. Deep down he knew he was trying to talk himself into accepting second best, and he wasn’t sure he could live with that. He gazed across the tops of the bare trees, picturing what they would be like in the spring, in full bloom. He smiled as he drank in the tranquil scene, feeling it soothe his thoughts.
‘Sir, are you all right?’
The sound of his butler’s anxious voice reached him and he peered down. ‘Hello, Hunt, when did you arrive?’
‘Just this moment, sir. I thought I’d better see that everything was to your liking here.’
‘Ah, checking up on the staff, are you?’
‘It’s my job, sir.’ Hunt sounded offended. ‘There was little time to prepare.’
‘I know, but you needn’t have worried. I’ve slept in many uncomfortable places whilst in the army – even ditches from time to time.’
‘Quite so, sir,’ Hunt remarked dryly. ‘Are you planning to make your bed in that tree?’
Alex tipped his head back and laughed – really laughed – for the first time, easing some of the grief and pain he’d felt since his return home. The relief was palpable and made him take a deep breath. The past was gone and not one moment could be changed. The family disaster had happened, and that would always be a source of great sadness to him, but the good memories would always be with him. No one could take those from him.
‘Are you coming down, sir? Cook will not be pleased if dinner is spoilt. She’s made your favourite steak and kidney pie.’
‘Has she?’ It was only then that Alex realised just how hungry he was. He began to climb down, his long legs making easy work of the descent.
Jumping the last few feet, he landed lightly and grinned at his butler. ‘Just wanted to see if I could still do it.’
The corners of Hunt’s mouth twitched, but he said nothing as he hel
d out the coat for his master.
‘I’m glad I came,’ he said, shrugging into the coat.
‘Yes, sir, it was the right thing to do, and the staff are delighted to have you home.’
Home – yes, this place had always been regarded as their home. ‘I should have come sooner.’
‘You’re here now.’ Hunt opened the front door. ‘Perhaps you’ll stay for a while?’
‘Yes, I think I will.’
The butler gave a satisfied nod. ‘It was good to hear you laugh again, sir.’
‘It felt good.’
A week later, David received a letter from Alex asking him to come for a few days, so they could discuss expanding the shipping line. He was also asked to bring May, her parents, Johnny, and Millie and Fred if they could be spared from their jobs for a short time.
When David told Millie, she exclaimed, ‘Crumbs, where’s he gonna put us all? How big’s his house?’
‘I’ve no idea. My father said you could take four days as a holiday. Would you like to come?’
‘Oh yes. Do you think Mr Melrose will let Fred off work?’
‘I’ll go and see him right away. Little May’s out of hospital now, so will you go and see her parents? Tell them Mr Glendale’s arranged transport.’
‘What, now?’
‘Yes, Millie.’ David’s father came into the office, smiling. ‘You’ll enjoy the country, even if it is still winter.’
‘Thanks, Mr Gardener.’ Millie was scrambling into her hat and coat, her face glowing with excitement. ‘I ain’t never had a holiday before.’
‘Only four days. See she’s back on time, David. I can’t do without her for longer than that.’
It took David the rest of the day to make the arrangements for their journey. Sutton had readily agreed to Fred taking a few days off. May’s father couldn’t come because he would be working at the docks. Work was so hard to come by it was never turned down, not even one day. Johnny did a cartwheel when he heard about the trip.
There hadn’t been time for David to see Gertie to tell her he would be away for a few days, and he hoped she wouldn’t need him while he wasn’t there.
Hold on to your Dreams Page 17