He snapped to attention and said the words he knew they all expected. ‘Thank you, sir. It’s a great honour.’
The sergeant followed him out and Edward glared at him. ‘Was this your doing?’
‘You deserve it for saving Jack Pendleton, not to mention all the other things you’ve done. Three men are still alive because of you.’
‘It’s a farce!’ Edward shook his head. ‘I was trying to get myself killed!’
‘You might believe that, but I don’t. Some men freeze under fire, unable to function properly. They can’t help it; it’s in their nature. But I’ve watched you closely. Your mind stays clear, and only after giving a situation careful consideration do you act. You’re still alive because you made the right decisions at the right time. Not only are you a good soldier, but you also have the mark of an officer. The army is where you belong.’
‘I certainly don’t belong anywhere else.’ Not having a place to call home had left a gaping hole in his life – an emptiness he doubted could ever be filled.
‘Then make the army your life,’ the sergeant suggested. ‘There’s a place here for you, and if you continue in the way you’ve started, respect and advancement could be yours. Think about it.’
Watching the sergeant march away, he thought of what the man had said. Respect was something he didn’t feel he deserved, and was out of the question when he couldn’t respect himself. But perhaps he could climb up the ranks? He had nowhere else to go, and much to his surprise, he did seem to fit into army life. He enjoyed the comradeship, and had taken the danger, harsh conditions and discipline in his stride. The future had never entered his head, but perhaps he did belong here. For the time being, anyway.
‘Hi, Ed, I hear they’re giving you a medal.’
He spun round and a smile of real pleasure spread across his face. ‘Jack! I thought you’d be on your way home by now.’
‘No, they’ve decided I’m fit enough to fight again. I hear you’ve been doing crazy things while trying to break the siege.’ Jack slapped him on the back. ‘Come on, I’ll buy our hero a drink.’
‘Don’t call me that!’ Edward snapped.
‘From what I’ve heard it’s a miracle you didn’t get yourself killed. Let’s get that drink. I’m gasping.’
‘It’s only ten in the morning.’ Edward fell into step beside his friend. ‘But seeing it’s a celebration to mark your return, I’ll have one with you.’
Others soon joined them, and it turned into quite a party.
By the time Edward settled down late that evening to write a couple of letters, he was beginning to think the sergeant was right. This was now his home, and the regiment was his family. But even accepting that, he didn’t relish the thought of spending years as a soldier. What choice did he have, though?
Quite a few of the men had most of their pay sent to someone in England, and he had decided to do the same. The money was going to David, with instructions for it to be given to his father. It was a meagre amount and would make little difference to the debt he’d left behind him, but he would feel as if he were doing something.
The first letter was to David, urging him to make his father take the money. If he refused, then he was to give it to his sister to use as she thought necessary. Gertie had a wise head and he knew he could trust her to do what was best for her family. He also asked forgiveness from David for not listening to him when he’d tried to stop him gambling. He ended by saying he would be pleased to hear from him with news of what was happening in London.
The next letter was to Alexander Glendale, telling him about the campaign to break the Ladysmith siege, knowing that as an ex-soldier he would be interested. He also thanked him for coming to the ship before they’d embarked, and hoped the short note had given his mother some comfort. He said nothing about the medal to either of them.
After sealing the letters he sat back, feeling more at peace than he’d done for some time. He could never undo the damage, or heal the distress he’d caused, but hoped they would see he was trying to reform and help.
‘You still up, Ed?’ Jack sat beside him and eyed the letters. ‘Been writing to your girl, have you?’
‘No, just keeping a promise I made before we sailed.’
Jack peered at one of the names. ‘Glendale? Do you know him?’
‘Yes. Why, do you?’
‘No, never met him, but he was an army officer. Got a reputation for being tough, but they say his men would have walked through hell for him.’
‘I can understand that.’ Edward glanced at Jack. ‘What have you been up to? Shouldn’t you be in bed?’
‘Been having a game of cards with some of the men.’
‘How much did you lose?’ Edward asked dryly.
‘Came out about even.’ Jack rattled the coins in his pocket and grinned. ‘I’ve never seen you playing. I’ll teach you if you don’t know how.’
‘No thanks,’ Edward said firmly. ‘I’m too well-acquainted with a pack of cards, and have learnt my lesson. I’ll never gamble again. So you be careful, Jack.’
‘Ah, lost a lot, did you?’
‘Too much. It cost me my family, home, and everything I loved. I’ve been disowned, and that’s why I’ve ended up here.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, Ed.’
‘So am I!’
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‘Good Lord!’ David handed the letter back to Alex. ‘I’ve just received a letter from Edward and he never mentioned that.’
‘Sergeant Harris wanted me to know because I asked him to keep an eye on Edward. He’s distinguished himself.’
‘He has, and he isn’t saying anything. I wonder why? The Edward I knew would have been shouting his achievements from the rooftops.’
‘I doubt he’s the same person now. I suspect he doesn’t see himself as a hero, and doesn’t feel he deserves to be given a medal. I’ve seen it before. Some men carry out the most courageous deeds, and then wonder what all the fuss is about when they’re honoured. Harris is impressed, and as you read, considers Edward a fine soldier, and eventually officer material.’
Standing up, David began to pace, deep in thought, and then he stopped. ‘His mother would be proud of him. I think she should now be told the truth.’
‘Is she well enough?’
‘She’s made progress over the last few weeks and is now able to sit in a chair for part of the day. Walking is still a problem, but there’s more hope of a good recovery.’
‘I’m pleased to hear it.’
Sitting down again, David drew in a deep breath. ‘I’ll discuss this when I visit Gertie and her father this evening. Edward has made arrangements for some of his pay to come to me – I received the first amount yesterday – and he’s given me the task of persuading his father to accept it.’
‘That won’t be easy,’ Alex remarked.
‘No, but I’ve got to try and make him. Not only has Edward been honoured for bravery, but also he’s trying to help with the financial situation. It isn’t much, but it’s all he’s got, and the gesture should be respected.’
‘It should, and I also agree that it’s time to tell Mrs Melrose where her son is, and what he’s doing. But that decision will be up to her family, of course.’
‘I don’t look forward to telling Sutton, but I know I’ll have Gertie’s support. She’s the only one who could make him take the money.’
‘You’re quite right.’ Alex handed him the sergeant’s letter. ‘Show him this. It might help.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You have young visitors, sir,’ the butler announced on entering the library.
‘And who might they be?’ Alex asked, knowing full well who had arrived.
‘It’s us!’ called a high-pitched voice. ‘You said we could come to Sunday tea.’
David chuckled, recognising the voice.
‘Ah, so I did. Show them in.’
The door swung open and in tumbled Johnny, May, Fred and Millie.
May gav
e a whoop of delight as soon as she spotted David and headed straight for him, arms outstretched.
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ He crouched down and waited for the little girl to reach him. The change in her was remarkable. Not only was she now walking freely and with hardly a trace of a limp, but also her cheeks were rosy and her speech was improving all the time.
‘Davy,’ she giggled. ‘You have tea too?’
‘Of course he will.’ Alex had tucked Johnny under his arm, making the boy squeal with delight. ‘I’ll just take this one to Cook so he can tell her what he wants.’
Then he strode out of the room, leaving everyone else laughing. Even the butler’s mouth was twitching.
‘He’s so strong,’ Millie said admiringly, ‘and quite good looking when he laughs.’
‘Davy too!’ May told them. ‘Me marry him.’
‘Now you’re in trouble, Mr Gardener,’ spluttered Fred as he ruffled May’s hair. ‘You’re too young to be thinking of marriage.’
‘I grow,’ she told him, indignant at having her hair messed up. ‘All better now.’
‘You certainly are.’ David sat her on a comfortable chair. ‘You come and see me when you’re eighteen.’
The little girl nodded and grinned triumphantly at Fred.
Johnny erupted back into the room, followed closely by Alex. ‘It’s all ready! You ought to see what we’ve got. I ain’t never seen so much grub.’
It turned out to be the noisiest couple of hours David could ever remember, and he’d never seen Alex so relaxed. He hadn’t mentioned how things were going with Miriam Chester, but David assumed the courtship was progressing satisfactorily. He decided he didn’t really want to know, either, because the picture of that lovely girl was etched in his mind and heart.
Later that evening, David was shown into the sitting room where Gertrude was curled up in a chair, lost in a book she was reading. He was sorry he had to disturb her, because she looked so relaxed. She had completely recovered from her fainting spell and was much more her usual self. Her father had kept his word and lifted some of the burden from her, but she was still doing more than her fair share of the work. And knowing her as he did, he was certain no one could stop her. It was rare to find her relaxing, and the sight pleased him.
‘Good evening, Gertie.’
She started, looked up and smiled, scrambling to her feet. ‘David! I didn’t hear you come in.’
He gave her a gentle hug. ‘Good book?’
‘You know me when I’m reading. The world could come to a stop and I wouldn’t know. Sit down. Have you had anything to eat?’
‘Plenty. Alex gave a tea party for May, Johnny, Fred and Millie. Then I had a quiet dinner with him so we could discuss business. He doesn’t stop working for anything, not even on a Sunday.’
She turned away, but not before he’d seen the flash of sadness at the mention of Alex. He knew how she felt, but what was done couldn’t be changed, and she knew that. Alex had waited, hoping she would come to like him, but he’d given up on her now and was getting on with his life. And they both had to follow his example.
‘Is your father in? I’ve got to see him.’
‘He’s in his study. Has something happened? You look concerned.’
‘I have some news, and I’m not sure how your father’s going to take it.’
‘Edward?’
‘Yes, but don’t be alarmed. I’ve heard from him and there are things your father should know.’
‘But am I going to want to hear them?’ Sutton walked into the room and shook David’s hand.
‘That’s something I don’t know.’ He glanced backwards, and then pulled a face. ‘I’ll keep the door right behind me if you don’t mind, in case I need to make a hasty retreat.’
‘You’re quite safe,’ Sutton laughed. ‘Today Florence did a complete circuit of her room, using only a cane for support, so I’m in a good mood.’
‘Oh, I’m very relieved.’
‘We all are.’ He settled in an armchair, smiled at his daughter, and then turned his attention back to David. ‘So, what’s this news?’
‘I’ve received a letter from Edward, and so has Alex.’ He decided to give them the news about the medal before mentioning the money. He handed Sutton the letter received from the sergeant. ‘Edward has distinguished himself,’ he pointed out, as the silence stretched.
‘What is it, Father?’ Gertrude was on her feet. ‘May I see the letter?’
Without a word he handed it to his daughter, his expression unreadable.
‘This is wonderful!’ she exclaimed, as she looked at her father with pleading eyes. ‘He’s trying to make something of himself, and Mother should be told.’
Her father’s mouth thinned in a straight line. ‘And I suppose he’s told you what a great hero he is?’
‘No, there’s no mention of any of this in my letter or the one Alex received from him. We wouldn’t have known about it if the sergeant hadn’t sent that report.’
David paused. It was clear Sutton wasn’t going to forgive his son even if he had won a commendation for bravery. Now for the difficult part. ‘Edward has made arrangements for regular payments to be sent to me. I received the first payment yesterday. He knows he will never be forgiven for what he’s done, but he urges you to accept this small amount of money. He will never be able to repay you, of course.’
‘Damned right!’
David held out the envelope and Sutton ignored it. ‘If you don’t take it, I’m to give it to Gertie, but it would be a merciful gesture if you’d accept.’
‘Please.’ Gertrude reached out for his hand, pleading in her eyes. ‘Think how happy this would make Mother. Her son hasn’t just been awarded a medal; he’s received the Victoria Cross!’
‘That’s the highest honour,’ David pointed out, knowing they had to emphasise that. Sutton had been badly hurt, mentally and physically, by his son’s disastrous gambling. And his wife’s illness because of the worry must make forgiveness almost impossible. ‘Edward is leaving himself very little to exist on. Please allow him to do this.’
Giving a brief nod, Sutton took the envelope from David. ‘I’ll accept this for six months only, after that it must stop. I don’t want his money, but I’ll accept it for my wife’s sake. It will comfort her to know he’s making this gesture.’
David breathed a silent sigh of relief. It was only a partial acceptance, but he hadn’t been sure Sutton would take anything from the son who had caused his family such terrible grief and hardship.
‘Thank you, Father.’ Gertrude stood up and leant over to kiss his forehead. ‘Can we tell Mother now?’
‘Yes, I think we must.’ He stood up. ‘You come as well, David.’
Florence was sitting in a chair beside the bed, and David was pleased to see her smile when they entered. She was looking much better.
She held out her hand to him. ‘David, how lovely to see you. Gertrude tells me you have a new job. You must tell me all about it.’
‘In a moment, my dear.’ Sutton sat on the edge of the bed, and cradled his wife’s hand in his. ‘We have good news for you.’
‘Oh.’ Her eyes flicked from one face to the other. ‘Is it about Edward?’
‘Yes, and before we start we must apologise for keeping certain details from you, but we feel you are now strong enough, so David will tell you the whole story.’
No wonder he’d been asked to come as well. Edward’s father was still unwilling to talk about his son.
‘Start from the beginning, and don’t leave anything out,’ he was urged.
After a short pause to collect his thoughts, he began with his own futile search, and then the result of Alex’s help.
Florence listened to every word, her eyes never leaving his face, as the story of what had happened to her son unfolded. ‘The Victoria Cross,’ she gasped.
‘Yes, Mother.’ Gertrude held out the letter. ‘Would you like to read what the sergeant says about him?’
She
took the letter eagerly, reading it through twice, and then again. After that she folded it carefully. ‘Do you think Alexander would mind if I kept this, David?’
‘I’m sure he’d be happy for you to have it.’
‘Thank him for me, and tell him I’m grateful for the help he’s given our family. What our son did was a terrible thing, but he’s trying to redeem himself, and that must be respected.’ She looked pointedly at her husband.
When his only response was a slight nod of the head, she continued, sounding more like the woman she’d been before her illness. ‘I know it will be hard for you to forgive him, my dear, but at least recognise his desire to make amends. Accept his money with good grace, and a note of acknowledgement from you would be welcomed, I’m sure.’
‘Whatever you say, my dear.’
‘No! Don’t do it just to please me, Sutton. It must come from your heart, and if that is impossible, then don’t do it. I’ll write to him myself. Our wayward son is in great danger, and we might never see him again. I won’t have him going to his grave believing his family hate him. I won’t have it!’
Alarmed, Gertrude was on her feet. ‘He won’t, Mother. Please don’t upset yourself. We’ll all write to him. Won’t we, Father?’
‘Of course. I’ll write, acknowledging his achievements, but you must know that I will not have him back in this house again ever.’ He raised his hands by way of an apology to his wife. ‘I promise I’ll write accepting his money, but that’s all I’m prepared to do.’
She nodded, giving a sad smile. ‘That is enough for the moment. Now, I think we should all have a drink to mark and honour a VC valiantly won.’
Chapter Twenty-Nine
‘What are we going to do?’
‘We have to go.’ Gertrude chewed her lip as she turned the invitation card over and over in her hands. ‘Do you really think this is to announce the engagement between Alexander and Miriam?’
‘Yes, it must be.’ David nodded grimly. ‘The Chesters are walking around with smiles on their faces. Alex is the catch of the year, and this lavish Spring Ball is the perfect way to announce a forthcoming marriage. It’s going to be damned uncomfortable for both of us.’
Hold on to your Dreams Page 20