“That’s what I like about you. You’re not afraid to try something different. Brandi wouldn’t have done that to save her life. Speaking of her I need to go and break things off with her fat ass.” He zipped up his pants and slid on his rain boots then shot Cassy a quick wink.
“Baby don’t’ be so mean to her”
“Oh, now you care about her feelings?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?
“Nothing just forget I said it” He quickly changed the subject. “We’re finally going to do it. We’re finally going to make our relationship official.”
“What time are you going to be coming by?”
“As soon as I’m done with what I have to do. Why?”
“I was hoping that you would accompany me to Vegas, my plane leaves tonight. After Vegas we’re going to travel the world for two months. ”
“I’ll be to your house…excuse me, correction, I’ll be to our house in plenty enough time for us to make the flight. I don’t know about traveling the world for months though. I’ll have to see about taking a leave of absence” He kissed her on the forehead as he always did and then she watched him walk away.
****
As Brandi pushed open the driver door of her minivan one particular statement flooded her mind. “A half of a pound is better than nothing. It may take some longer than others to see a change but please don’t get discouraged. I promise if you remain disciplined you will reach your goal. No matter how big the task. No matter if it’s as little as five pounds or more than one hundred pounds, discipline works because discipline is the key” Those were the words of her motivational partner. And those were the words that continued to rang repetitively in Brandi’s head from the moment she’d left her weekly weight watchers meeting. The words continued to echo in her mind on the drive home. She was starting to feel like the meetings were a waste of her time. It’d been three weeks since she’d joined and she’d only lost what she called, water weight. A measly two pounds. Truthfully maybe if she’d choose an apple instead of an entire pack of Oreo cookies as her choice for a late night snack she’d start seeing some results. And to top it off on the way to the meeting she’d stopped by McDonald’s and gobbled down a Big Mac meal knowing good and well that fast food was the last thing that her big butt should’ve been eating. That was only a little over an hour ago and she was already hungry again.
“I’ve got to quit doing this to myself. If I want Trae to be attracted to me again I have to lose weight” She said out loud as if she was talking to someone else. In order to lose weight she knew that it was important for her to gain a sense of discipline so before she picked up Trent from Daycare she stopped by the market and purchased a few healthy items. She was in and out quickly because she hated grocery shopping. For her it was embarrassing and somewhat humiliating. She was FAT and had always felt as though other people viewed her as a disgusting pig, which made being out in public uncomfortable. In no time she’d picked up Trent and was on her way home.
Trae’s car was parked in the driveway when Brandi pulled up, so she had no choice but to park on the street. She hated to see his car because it meant she’d have to endure his injurious jokes about her weight and hear his comments about how he felt as though weight watchers wasn’t doing her any justice. She took a deep breath, opened the door and hopped out of her car. Tremaine Jr. was sitting at the kitchen table talking on the cordless phone when she walked into the kitchen with Trent thrown across her shoulders because he’d fallen asleep on the way home.
“Tremaine if that is not Jesus that you’re talking to you better hang up that damn phone.” She demanded and walked into the living room and laid Trent down on the loveseat. “I guess you didn’t hear me” She yelled, walking back into the kitchen.
“What?”
Brandi was now infuriated as she walked towards him with an irascible expression sketched on her face. “First of all, who do you think that you are talking to with that tone? And second of all, when I said that you are grounded that’s exactly what I meant. And that means you are not to listen to your ipod, browse the internet, leave this house, or talk on the damn phone” Brandi shouted as she snatched the phone from Tremaine’s ear and hung it up”
“You just love embarrassing me don’t you?” He shouted then leapt from the table and ran towards the stairs.
“Get your ass back in here” Brandi hollered as she furiously yanked open the refrigerator door. With Tremaine now back at the table, she shouted. “Boy I will knock that Mohawk clean off of your head. You have the nerve to sit here and say that I embarrass you?” She was making room in the refrigerator by throwing away the outdated items. “Every single time that I go down to that school I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t know what has gotten into you lately but that mouth of yours is going to have you picking your teeth up off the floor. This makes the second time in two weeks that you’ve been suspended and you have the nerve to say I embarrass you. Go outside and grab the groceries out of the trunk.”
When he walked back into the kitchen with the grocery bags in tow, she asked.
“Is your father upstairs?”
“No, he’s not here” Tremaine set the groceries on the bar counter, pulled up his baggy jeans, and sat down at the table.
“Maybe if you would wear clothes that fits, you wouldn’t have to be pulling them up all the time.” She told him as she put away the groceries. “I wonder where Trae is because his car is outside”
“He left here walking”
That’s unusual Brandi thought. “Have you bothered to clean your room today?”
“Yeh”
Brandi knew that he was lying through his teeth but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt “So what else have you done today?”
“Mom I’m not a little kid you don’t have to hassle me. I’ve just been chilling okay. Meaning I’ve been bored all day.”
“You’re not a little kid? Act like you’re sixteen for a change and maybe I wouldn’t treat you like a kid. Bored.... huh! You just went back to school last week and you’re already suspended again you should be glad that I haven’t sent you to the juvenile home…talking about you’re bored. You know, your attitude is really starting to tick me off and the best thing for you to do is get out of my reach. Go to your room before I knock you into the middle of next week.”
He backed his chair away from the table, and headed for the stairs not realizing that something had falling out of his pocket. Something that he didn’t want his mom to know that he had.
“Tremaine Jr.” Brandi shouted sternly. “Get your ass down here right now”
When he made back into the kitchen with one of the ear plugs to his iPod dangling from his ear Brandi snatched the music device, balling it into her fist.
“What’s your problem?” he snapped.
“I know one thing you better not be having sex in this house.”
“I’m not having sex”
“Then why are you walking around with condemns?”
“To protect myself”
“Tremaine the only way to really protect yourself is by not having sex. You are too young”
“Mom everyone is having sex nowadays”
“Everyone is not my responsibility. You are. There are too many diseases out there. Aids don’t have a age limit.”
“Mom I’m not going to get aids”
“You don’t know that. You don’t know what these little fast tail girls out here doing. And babies? Lord knows you don’t want a baby. A baby will mess up your future. Take it from me. I’ve been there and done that.”
“Mom I really don’t want to talk to you about this”
“Well that’s fine, but you’re going to have to talk to your father about it”
“Yeh right like he’ll have time to talk to me” He mumbled.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing”
“That’s what I thought now go upstairs and read a book, study, do something constructive. Do
something other than think about having sex”
Tremaine lowered his head, then turned and walked away. Brandi’s let out a deep exhausting sigh. Her baby was thinking about sex.
****
The sun was setting by the time Brandi had gotten out of the shower and boy was she exhausted. Between the trip to the market, the weight watchers meeting, tasseling with her troublesome teenage son and being overweight she couldn’t distinguish which task had worn her out the most. Still she managed to get her big butt up and muster up the energy to prepare her family’s dinner, a dish of low fat taco soup, and a side dish of corn on the cob from a recipe that she’d found online. She was standing in front of the stove stirring in the seasonings when a sharp pain shot through her breast. She ignored it and continued to stir the soup but when the pain increased she pulled out a chair from the table, sat down, grabbed the remote from the tabletop and turned on the television. Trevon walked in.
“Something is smelling good mom”
“It’s a new healthy recipe that I’m trying”
“How long before we eat? I’m starving”
“Dinner will be ready in a few.” She said. “How was tennis practice?”
“It was pretty good.” He said. “Guess what?”
“I would rather you just tell me”
“I aced my math test”
“That’s my baby” Brandi said, and then grabbed her breast again because another sharp pain had just shot through it. The soreness in her right armpit was also becoming intense by the minute. “You may have gotten your looks from your father but you definitely got your brains from me”
“I know, and I’m lucky” He joked.
She wanted to laugh but the pain was almost unbearable and she couldn’t do anything but smile.
“Are you okay mom? You don’t look so good”
“I’m fine baby, I’m just a little sore that’s all.”
“Maybe you need to go and lie down. I’ll finish dinner if you tell me what I have to do”
“I appreciate the fact that you always want to take care of me. But I’ll be fine baby”
“Mom I really think that you should take it easier on yourself. All you do is worry about me, Tremaine, Trent, and dad. You worry about the four of us so much that you don’t take care of yourself.”
“Son, I’m fine. If I don’t take care of you guys or worry about you guys then no one else will.”
“Mom all I’m saying is that I care about you and I don’t want to see anything drastic happen to you because you worry too much. When I finish college and begin my career as a cardiologist I’m going to send you on vacation to anywhere that you want to go for an entire month.”
“Awww….You’re going to make me cry.”
“Mom, don’t start with the gushy stuff”
Brandi smiled. “So you want to be a cardiologist?”
“Yes I’ve decided that’s what I want to do”
“Why can’t your twin be more like you?” She chuckled. “So have you decided what college you want to go to”
“Of course. I want to go to Stanford”
“All the way in California?”
“It never rains in southern California” He started singing, jokingly.
“What do you know about that song? That was before your time.” She giggled. “My baby is going to be all the way in California. I’m going to hate to see you leave. But I’ll be the proudest mother alive.”
“I know that you’ll miss me mom but Stanford is one of the top schools in the country.”
“Your right which means that you’re going to have to keep up that 4.0 average that you have”
I know and it’s very important that I stay out of trouble to”
“You’re right. Stay away from the wrong crowd. Even when you’re a young adult in college and living on your own, you should always---”
Trevon finished her sentence “Be a leader and not a follower. I know these things mom. You’ve instilled them in me long enough.”
“You make me so proud son”
“Mom, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure”
“Do you think that dad is proud of me?”
“Your dad is very proud of you”
“At least one of us thinks so”
“What makes you think that he’s not proud of you” She knew exactly why her son felt that way. Trae barely said two words to the boy and when he did it was always something negative.
“I’ve always felt like he hates me. He hates my personality. The way that I dress. The way that I talk. He hates everything about me”
“Your father doesn’t hate you sweetie”
“Maybe he just hates what I represent. What I am.”
“What do you mean he hates what you represent”
“Mom, it’s time that we stop acting like I’m not different from other young men. I don’t have any interest in girls. I think I’m gay”
“Baby, you’re young and you’re still trying to figure things out. You’ll get into girls eventually”
“But what if I don’t? Are you going to stop loving me to?”
“Of course not. I’m your mother and I will always love you. ” She said and got up to make herself useful because she heard the front door open and she knew that it was Trae.”
“Hey” he said, walking into the kitchen.
“Hey” Brandi spoke.
“What’s up dad?”
“Hey Trevon” Trae said dryly.
“Trevon go upstairs I need to talk to your dad in private”
Quickly Trevon jutted up the staircase.
"Does it hurt you to speak to the boy?” Brandi barked at Trae.
“I did speak to him”
“Anyway” She said rolling her eyes. “I found out that Tremaine is having sex.”
“Well at least he knows that he’s supposed to have sex with girls”
“If I knew that was going to be your response I would have kept it to myself”
“Maybe you should have”
“Trae the boys are getting to the age where they need a man in their lives to talk to them about sex, and babies, and diseases. Now we had kids at a very young age and I don’t want that for my children. Will you please talk to him”
“What’s talking to them going to do? Our parents talked to us but did it stop us? No”
“I’m just saying it would be nice if you would spend a little bit more time with them. They are becoming young men and I’m sure that they have questions that I can’t answer because I’m not a man. Is it going to kill you to talk to them? Do you know what Trevon asked me right before you came in?”
“How would I know that if I wasn’t here?”
“You and your smart ass mouth. He asked me did I think that you were proud of him”
“And?”
“Trae your son, one that happens to be the spitting image of you thinks that you hate him”
“Why does he think that”
“Because he’s different. And because of the way you treat him”
“First of all I don’t hate my own flesh and blood. But I won’t pretend that I’m okay with the way he carries himself.” He said loudly. “The boy walks around here acting like a damn faggot.”
“Do you have to scream it so that the world can hear you?” Brandi asked. She was walking towards the kitchen table carrying two steaming hot plates of taco soup. “Now I don’t like the fact that he’s probably going to be gay but that shouldn’t affect the way we treat him. Maybe if you would’ve taken up more time with him and he hadn’t had to spend so much time with me he’d be more manly.”
“Maybe if you wouldn’t have begged for little girls the entire time that you were pregnant with the twins. He wouldn’t be so damn feminine. You prayed for a girl and you got one alright”
She was on her second trip to the table with two more plates of food. “That’s not fair”
“What’s not fair is the fact that you’re in my ear with thi
s bullshit as soon as I walk in the damn house”
“Well our children are important to me. I thought they were important to you to.”
“My children are important to me.” Trae hollered. “Look whatever you think is fine with me. I’m not going to keep arguing with you about this”
“That’s the attitude that you always have when it comes to your family.” Brandi mumbled. “Boys….it’s time to eat”
“Don’t call them just yet I have something that I need to talk to you about”
“What is it?” She asked while filling another bowl with soup. “Do you want bread with your soup? All we have is wheat and I know that you don’t eat wheat bread so I’ll have to run to the store”
“That won’t be necessary because I won’t be eating here tonight I’m leaving.”
She turned from the stove and headed towards the kitchen table.
“Another business trip huh.”
“No. I’m not leaving because of a business trip” He responded. “Look Brandi, there really is no easy way to say this so I’ll just come right out with it” He paused for a long second with his head lowered and his eyes away from her. “I’ve fallen in love with someone else and I’m leaving you because I’m going to marry her.”
The bowl of scorching hot soup trembled in Brandi’s hand before barreling to the floor. A few specs grazed her ankle but she didn’t feel it. Numbness covered her. It started at her soles and traveled to her heart. She looked away from him, and then grabbed her chest. Her heart was beating so rapidly she thought it was going to hurdle out of her skin.
She gazed at him, her eyes drowning in pain, her insides shaking and the brutality of his sudden reality rushing through her. The statement “I’m leaving you because I’m going to marry her” Seared in heart pulling her heartstrings and imprinting a permanent scar. The pain in her chest and armpit shared no comparison to this new pain.
He’s leaving me? She thought. “Who is she?” She asked her voice suddenly sounding hoarse, like she’d just been rescued from a burning building.
“I’m leaving you to be with Cassy”
Immediately Brandi’s pain grew. It was as if her heart had been snatched out of her chest and burned with a torch. “Our neighbor?” She asked with a trembling voice as she wiped away the steady tears.
Unfaithful Ties Page 15