When she was able to breathe normally again, her racing mind settled and she came to a decision. She would run away. Starving with no roof over her head was preferable to being enslaved by a man day after day with no hope of freedom. Montana housed wild animals and edible plants that she could find and eat. Surely she could survive that way.
That was still her goal, despite having been unsuccessful at it so far. Nettie tiptoed to the door of Trapper Jack’s cabin, intending to sneak out, but then she looked back at where he still slept and felt a stab of guilt. She couldn’t bring herself to leave without telling him. She didn’t want him to think she was stealing his gun. She was only going to borrow it, and she wanted him to understand that.
She called to him softly. “Trapper Jack, wake up.”
He moaned and rubbed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked at her standing by the door, her hand balancing the rifle upright on the floor. He bolted upright in bed. “What the devil are you doing?” he bellowed.
His loud voice caused Nettie’s heart to skip a beat, and she rushed to explain herself. “I’m real sorry, Trapper Jack, but I need this gun. I promise I’ll bring it back when I get done with it. I’m going to shoot the grizzly so I can stay in the cave safely.” She held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t make things difficult and try to stop her.
“Goddamn it, woman. Didn’t we already discuss this?”
She blinked rapidly, trying to find the words to make him understand. “It wasn’t much of a discussion. You weren’t listening when I said I have no intention of returning to town or living here.”
“So you’re planning on stealing my gun, shooting a bear, and then living happily ever after in a cave?”
“I’m borrowing your gun,” she corrected. “And yes, I think I can live quite well in the cave. You live alone in the woods, and just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I can’t.”
Jack swung his legs to the floor. He stared at her in disbelief and then finally shook his head and sighed. “All right, fine. Take the rifle, but you won’t go after that bear if you know what’s good for you. You might be able to shoot a deer and get some meat on your bones though. Did you find the cartridges?”
She hadn’t thought of that. When she didn’t answer, he rolled his eyes.
“What kind of man doesn’t keep his rifle loaded?” she demanded defensively.
He bent down and retrieved the cartridges from under the bed. Standing, he said, “The kind who doesn’t use one very often. Besides, even if the gun was loaded, I’d think you’d want more than one chance at shooting.” He strode to her, and she stiffened. As taut as prey, she was ready to bolt if it looked like he would try to stop her from leaving. However, when he reached her, he only handed her the cartridges. She shoved them into her trousers’ pocket, still keeping close watch on his face, though she had to crane her neck to do so when he was so close to her.
What he did next surprised her. He reached out. She flinched but then relaxed when his big, calloused hand held her chin with more gentleness than she would have imagined him capable of. He stared into her eyes. “You do the best you can out there, Nettie, but come the first of October, I want my rifle back and you out of that cave of yours. That’s forty-two days from now. Keep track. Tick the days off in the cave. Got it?”
She tried to nod.
“Tell me you’ll be out of the cave by October.”
“I’ll be out by October.” She wondered if any woman had ever been able to do anything but obey Trapper Jack when he spoke in such a way. His tone was a mix of gentle and stern. She felt compelled to please him and nervous about doing otherwise.
“Likely the grizzly won’t seek out the cave until closer to winter, but sometimes bears decide to hibernate early. Now, I want your word that if you get hungry again, you’ll come here for a meal. I’ll gladly give it to you, and you needn’t have hurt pride over it. That’s what neighbors are for, or so I’ve heard.”
She smiled. “You have my word.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, and his voice grew sterner. “You’re not going to be that far away from me. I plan to check in on you, and I expect you to tell me if you’re not doing all right. You lie about it, that spanking I gave you the other day won’t be anything compared to the thrashing you’ll get. Understand?”
She gulped. “Yes, sir.” She understood the threat of punishment, but she didn’t understand why he would care about her welfare. She felt a tenuous trickle of warmth toward Jack. No one had looked out for her since her husband, and she felt suspicious and confused by it now.
“Good girl.” He released her chin. “Now, I have a request. Be so kind as to cook breakfast before you leave.”
Nettie was more than happy to oblige, since she was feeling quite peckish if she admitted it to herself. She leaned the gun against the door and got to work firing up the Dutch oven. His words rang in her ear. Good girl. The small praise touched her. It made her feel young and wholesome, like how she’d felt as a girl hearing her father’s praise. The feeling was strange but not unwelcome.
While she cooked, she realized Jack was delaying her departure for a reason other than just a cooked meal. He used the time to pack her a sack of supplies—a sharper knife than what she carried for skinning, rope for trapping, flint for starting fires, and the fur blanket she’d been using to keep warm. After they’d both eaten, he handed the sack to her. She eyed it dubiously, not sure whether she wanted to accept another handout from him.
“Take it,” he growled, “unless you want your last few minutes here to be spent over my knee.”
She took it from him then, somewhat grateful that he hadn’t given her a choice—she desperately needed supplies—and slung the heavy bag over her shoulder. “Thank you, Trapper Jack.”
He grunted in acknowledgement of her thanks. “Don’t you forget what I’ve said.” He picked up the gun and held it out to her as he opened the door.
Nettie felt the sudden desire to wrap her arms around him tight and to feel his arms around her as well, but she decided to give Cager a hug instead. The wolf licked her face and wagged his tail. Nettie took the rifle from Jack and walked in the direction of the dense forest, where she would trail alongside the river until she reached her cave. Cager followed her until a whistle from Jack sent him trotting in the opposite direction. She looked back once and saw Trapper Jack still standing in his doorway watching her retreat. She waved, and when he waved back she felt an ache in her chest, a longing for something more that food, water, and shelter.
She didn’t know what Jack’s plans were for her come October. He said he wanted her and the gun back, so she worried that he meant to keep her in his cabin over winter. She had no intention of staying there. He could have his gun back, but he couldn’t have her. She reckoned that if a bear could survive in a cave over the winter, so could she. All she had to do was make sure to shoot it before then.
Chapter Five: Learning Survival
Jack watched Nettie walk away, feeling uneasy. He wondered if he should have forced her to stay. It would have been easy enough to do, but he didn’t feel right about it. She wasn’t his to protect or order about. But when she turned and waved at him, he regretted his decision to let her go. She looked very small and vulnerable against the backdrop of the forest. He tried not to think about the many ways she could be injured or killed. Survival was no easy feat in the woods, even for a man with the proper tools and shelter.
He knew one thing for certain. There was no way he was going to allow her to spend the winter in the cave. It might not be his right to demand her obedience, but allowing her to stay in the cave in freezing cold temperatures would be a certain death sentence.
“She’ll be all right, Cager,” he said to his pet in an effort to convince himself. Cager thumped his tail on the ground and whined in response. “We’ll make sure of that, won’t we?” He scratched the wolf’s head. Sighing, Jack stepped back into the cabin and closed the door. He looked around. The place seemed very empty an
d quiet. He regarded the made bed and the carefully stacked dishes. It was a shame he hadn’t been able to convince her to stay.
The next day, Jack filled the hole of his pit trap with dirt. It had been easy enough to catch the woman. Getting her to listen was another matter entirely. Frustration built up in him. How could he convince her that he was right? She either needed to stay with him or live in town. He realized more and more that he really wanted her to stay with him. He hadn’t realized how lonely he was until her presence filled his cabin. The future seemed straightforward to him. He would provide for them, and she would take care of the home. The respective activities came naturally to both of them, so it made sense on a practical level, if nothing else.
He realized with no small amount of regret and melancholy that he didn’t feel bothered that she’d been with many men. If only he’d extended that kind of grace to his wife. In his younger years, he’d been a proud, entitled man with firm beliefs in the way things should be. Jack would never reject Nettie for doing what she had to do to survive. He understood survival now, both on the battlefield and in the woods.
Three days passed before Jack set out to visit Nettie, during which he planned how he would take care of her without too much of her knowledge. He had no intention of leaving her completely to her own devices. He would walk to her cave at least once a week and make sure she was doing all right. He built a box trap to give to her. If the trap didn’t catch anything on its own, he would make sure a rabbit showed up in it every so often.
On his way to the cave, the sun blazed, and he stopped often to drink from the sparkling river that guided his path. He brought Cager with him, who also drank from the river. In addition to the trap, Jack also carried some food and a fishing rod. Birds chirped around him, and he could still hear the river’s roar in the distance when he reached the cave. Cager seemed to realize they had arrived at their destination and left Jack’s side to sniff out the area. “Nettie,” he called toward the cave. “You in there?”
Silence. He approached, crouched down, and shuffled into the dark hole. After his eyes adjusted, he examined his surroundings. It was a tall enough space that he could nearly stand upright, and Nettie surely could stand without hitting her head on the top. The front space was round and about a quarter of the size of his one-room cabin. The room felt damp and smelled like dirt and pine needles, which he saw she’d gathered in a heap to soften the ground where she slept. She’d placed the fur blanket over it. Although it was difficult to see, he noticed a narrow channel in the back of the cave. Curious, he dropped to his hands and knees and inched toward the back. Much to his surprise he found a whole other room in the cave, not as big as the front room, but big enough to lie down in and stand nearly upright. He had to admit that the cave was perfectly habitable, at least in the current weather.
In the small back room, he could scarcely see a thing, but when he felt around he found the knife and flint he’d given her. He didn’t find the rope or rifle, so he determined that she must be out trying to hunt game. He crawled back to the front room and examined the spot where she built her fires. Large rocks formed a circle around a healthy amount of tinder and kindling. It was near the entrance. The cave faced west, so the prevailing winds from the east wouldn’t blow the smoke into the cave. That was good. What worried Jack was not finding food anywhere in the cave, despite there being three days of good weather since he’d last seen her. Ideally she would have a collection of nuts and berries as well as some cooked meat for when bad weather kept her in the cave.
He stepped into the morning light and took a seat on a long, flat rock nearby. He’d packed both of them lunch and hoped she would be back soon. In addition to wanting to see her, he also wanted to show her how to set the trap he’d brought for her and give her a fishing lesson.
A gunshot exploded nearby, startling Jack. Good, he thought, hoping she’d managed to shoot something. She hadn’t, though, and he found that out not long after the gunshot. He heard brush crackling and glanced over to find Nettie shuffling toward the cave looking defeated, with her shoulders stooped and head bent. She held the rifle carelessly in both hands with her right pointer finger perilously near the trigger.
“Nettie, if you reloaded, get your finger away from the trigger,” he called sharply, too alarmed to preface his order with a greeting.
Her head shot up at his voice. “Trapper Jack,” she exclaimed. She moved her hand down the length of the rifle away from the trigger.
Jack strode to her, closing the distance between them. He removed the rifle from her hands. “You weren’t holding this right. In fact, I can’t imagine holding it more wrong.”
She looked at him mournfully. He studied her and wasn’t happy with what he saw. In fact, he felt more worried than ever upon seeing her up close. She looked in terrible shape after just three days on her own. She seemed especially pale. She had dark circles under her eyes and the desperate, hollow expression of someone aching for a meal.
“When was the last time you ate?” he asked, scowling.
She avoided eye contact and frowned down at her shoes. “Earlier today,” she responded.
Her arms hung limply by her side and she appeared nearly too weak to walk. He took her by the wrist and pulled her with him to the rock where he sat her down.
“I think you’re lying about when you ate last. We’ll have a discussion about that. But first, let’s get some food in you.”
He sat beside her. He removed the venison and bread from his sack and handed her the entire portion of bread that he’d brought, wanting her to eat as much of it as she needed to before he himself ate. She tore into it after just a moment’s hesitation, her hunger quickly winning over her pride.
“Nettie,” he said, sighing after she finished all of it. “What did I tell you about coming to me if you got hungry? Have you already forgotten what I said?”
She looked at him sadly in response and then eyed the venison. He handed it to her. It didn’t appear he would be eating lunch, and that was fine with him. He wasn’t thinking about eating. He was thinking about what to do with the infuriating woman sitting next to him. He’d promised her a thrashing for doing exactly what she’d done. He was a man of his word and would punish her like she deserved, but he had hoped for a pleasanter reunion.
After she’d sucked off every piece of meat and fat from the bone, then gnawed on it much like his wolf would do, he asked, “Have you ever even shot a gun before? Did you lie about knowing how to handle it?”
She drew a deep breath and tossed the bone into some bushes. “I hadn’t shot a gun before yesterday, Trapper Jack, and I’m sorry, but I knew you wouldn’t let me leave with your gun if I told you the truth.”
“You’re right about that,” he said sharply. “I would have taught you how to shoot it first. How dare you lie about that? You could have gotten yourself killed.”
Her eyes welled up with tears. She looked so pitiful that he had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around her. No, she wouldn’t be getting any comfort from him until he’d dressed her down, up, and sideways. He stood and walked a short distance away, gathering his thoughts, and then walked back and stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. Her blue eyes sparkled with unshed tears, which he imagined would be streaking down her face in good time.
“I’m going to ask you again. When was the last time you ate before now? Tell the truth this time.”
She wrung her hands. “I found some gooseberries yesterday, but other than that, I haven’t been able to find anything.” She nibbled on her bottom lip before continuing. “I almost shot a squirrel today, but it was too fast.”
Jack’s jaw dropped. “A squirrel? You tried to shoot a squirrel with a musket? Nettie, that gun would blow apart something as small as that.”
“Oh,” she said, looking down.
Jack shook his head slowly. “Unbelievable.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, sniffling. “I just wanted to prove that I could take care of myself.
I feel so… useless.” Her voice trembled.
“Don’t you dare feel sorry for yourself,” he said, raising his voice. “That serves no purpose out here. You’re not useless. You are, however, foolish and dishonest, which I intend to deal with.”
She swiped at her tears and sniffled again. “I can’t remember anything ever hurting as much as the spanking you gave me. I don’t want another one.”
“No, I don’t reckon you do, but that’s what you deserve and it’s my duty to see it through. And you know, I can think of a few things that would hurt more than a spanking. Accidentally shooting yourself, for one.”
She peered up at him. “Why do you feel it’s your duty? I’m not your child to correct.”
“No, you’re a woman who found herself in need of a man’s help. I’ll give it to you, but under the condition that you mind me. There are consequences for doing otherwise.”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” she said in a wail of despair.
He pointed a finger at her face. “I didn’t say that. I said you were in need of it, not that you asked for it.”
“Trapper Jack, isn’t it punishment enough that I went hungry for three days?”
“You’re barking at a knot, Nettie.” He rubbed his beard along his jaw. “It’s been my experience that there’s nothing like a spanking to correct bad behavior. Do you think you’ll steal from me again?”
She shook her head emphatically. “No.”
“If I hadn’t found and punished you, do you think you’d still be stealing?”
“Probably, but I-I don’t think it’s fear of punishment that would keep me from stealing now. I just…” She looked down and let out a shuddering breath.
“Just what, Nettie?”
“I just want you to like me.”
Well, damn. He needed to get this over with before he changed his mind. That last statement almost made him lose his resolve. With a sigh, he sat down and took her arm to guide her over his lap. She didn’t resist. When he had her situated, he wrapped a hand around her slender waist to hold her in position and settled his hand on her trouser-clad bottom. He really didn’t want to punish her and wondered if he should let her off the hook. Then he thought about how she’d lied to him about knowing how to use a gun and resolved once again to go through with it.
Claimed by the Mountain Man Page 4