Good Grief

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Good Grief Page 13

by Vera Elle Unita


  If she wanted to leave? Was he… “Are you asking me to stay?” she whispered, her heart racing in her chest. The look in his eyes was so intense, she had to blink.

  “Yes, I am, angel. But I know it’s all very fast; I understand if you want to live separately for some time first.” One of his thumbs stroked her lower lip in a gentle manner. In his dark eyes a fire was burning brightly, reminding her again, that if this man wanted something, he moved hell and earth to get it. Still, he wasn’t pressuring her, which made her smile a little. He took it as a sign to cross the distance between them and eat her up with a branding kiss, which made shivers run down her spine. Sighing at the perfection of the moment, she relished the feeling, pressing up against his tall frame.

  “The renovations will take several weeks; we’ll see,” she whispered eventually, against his lips.

  When a deep growl rumbled through his chest, his answering words were full of determination. “We’ll see,” he repeated, but it was obvious that he intended to make her so happy that she would never want to leave.

  Reading Cole’s intentions in his fierce eyes, Jasmine giggled lightly. Such a pigheaded bear of a man. “Kiss me again.” And he happily did.

  ♥♥♥

  Chapter 17

  THE NEXT FEW days were spent walking from one room to the other, discussing ideas and eventually, deciding what was going to be changed within the mansion. This time Cole was willing to listen—didn’t mean that they didn’t argue over some ideas, but no more than with any other client with whom Jasmine had worked before. Client. What a strange word to call Cole.

  In the short duration of two weeks, he’d become so much more to her than just a client. Strangely, whatever there was between them felt more intimate than any relationship she’d had until then. In fact, she was pretty sure she would never feel this crazy intensity with anybody else in the future. It was a Cole-thing, so to speak. With him everything seemed amplified—whether it was happiness, sadness or lust. And each night, no matter how hard, fast or how deeply and slowly he took her, she felt loved.

  Looking into his dark eyes, Jasmine felt that she did return those emotions. Was that even possible after only two weeks? But hell, who’d ever said there were any rules for falling in love? Well, she’d more crashed than fallen, but whatever. When he pulled her closer, even in sleep, she didn’t care if her feelings were strange, normal, or if they had grown too fast. As long as he felt the same, everything was okay.

  Carefully, in order not to wake him, she turned around on the mattress to study his face. His scruff had grown almost to a full beard and it made him only more manly and attractive. Warning sign, warning sign! she sang silently in her head, almost giggling out loud. In the end, she was glad that nothing and no one had warned her away from him. If she could help him in finding his way back to his old, happy self again, then Jasmine was totally fine with…crashing in love with him.

  “What are you thinking about?” he rumbled softly with a sleepy voice and his eyes still closed.

  “About crashing,” Jasmine whispered back, not yet daring to tell him the truth. How would he react? He had only just begun dealing with his past; was he really able to face a possible future with her? Or would he rather fall back into old habits, turning his feelings off in order not to get hurt again? Loving somebody always was a risk and needed a lot of courage. For Cole Ward, this magnificent, broken, but damn strong man, she was willing to jump, take the risk. But she’d never felt such loss, as he’d had to endure. Was he willing to risk everything again?

  “Crashing doesn’t sound good, angel. Nightmare?” Still not opening his eyes, he blindly reached out for her body so he could hug her closely against his chest. Nuzzling her neck, he held her. It was then that Jasmine could see what a caring and loving husband he once must have been to his beloved Cara. At that thought she didn’t feel any jealousy; instead she was able to imagine the loss which he must be feeling all the time. Her tragic, beautiful man.

  “Yes, just a little nightmare,” she agreed in order to quickly get his mind off the matter. Pressing a kiss against his broad, heavy chest, she sighed happily. “Everything is better now.”

  “I’ve got you,” he told her in a dark voice, squeezing her a little tighter.

  “Promise?” Would he stay with her in spite of his past?

  “Promise,” he agreed, rolling them over so he lay on top of her. His chocolate-brown hair was tousled from sleep, which made him look only sexier, in Jasmine’s opinion. When he smiled down at her, her heart skipped a beat.

  “Good morning, angel,” he said, shortly before he dipped his head to devour her with a proper good-morning kiss.

  “Morning, big guy.” Returning the smile, her eyes sparkled with happiness. God, a girl could get used to this—waking up with a smoking hot man on top, who clearly intended to show you exactly how hard his feelings were for you, and knowing that he was going to make you breakfast later, was well, perfect. Perhaps Cole had been right to doubt her, even wanting to leave here after the renovations were finished. Until now he had given her a new reason to stay every single day.

  “Again?” she laughed when she felt his hardness between her thighs. In the early morning hours, he had woken her by kissing her the most intimate way there was. When she’d come screaming on his tongue, he had entered her and rocked her whole fucking world. Apparently, he was insatiable.

  “I always want you.” He grinned back, grinding his hips against her. As soon as she moaned, he bent his head to nip her throat. “And I will always be wanting more.”

  ♥♥♥

  DURING BREAKFAST, SHE wasn’t able to stop smiling even for a second. Her whole body still tingled from all the pleasurable things that Cole had done to it before. At this very moment, he was talking sweetly to Chester while preparing both of them waffles, of all things. He was a god, really. By now Cole had given up on trying to hide that the French bulldog had wrapped him around his little paw. Just to spite Jasmine he called the puppy flea-ball from time to time, which only earned him a raised eyebrow or kick against the shin. Somehow though, these little outbreaks seemed to please the hell out of him. Probably because he’d lived so long without any emotional depth that her being passionate about something was like a balm to his crippled soul.

  She was six years younger than him, but the age difference didn’t matter at all—they had clicked; understood each other on an intimate level. What should have been frightening felt normal. Like this strange bond between them had been there forever. There was one thing, though, Jasmine didn’t yet understand. Only a few days ago, Cole had told her that she’d been the one to turn his emotions back on again. Why had he decided to renovate the mansion before then?

  When he sat down on the other side of the kitchen counter, pushing a plate in front of her, her mouth watered at the sight of food. Making love with Cole worked up an appetite. “Thank you,” she murmured right before digging in. Waffles. Sigh. “You’re the best,” she moaned when tasting the perfect fluffy texture in combination with maple syrup. So yummy!

  “I should have fed you waffles for foreplay,” he countered in such a matter-of-fact voice, it made her laugh out loud immediately. She almost choked on her bite of waffles. A happy grin was his answer, his eyes glinting like a boy’s on Christmas morning. “I love your smile,” he mumbled, joining his free hand with hers. Like that they ate, playing with each other’s fingers, stealing a kiss from time to time, and simply enjoying their food. The silence between them wasn’t uncomfortable, it was peaceful.

  “Why did you come to Ronald now?” After a while, Jasmine had built up enough courage to blurt out the question. Interrupting the beautiful moment hurt a little, but she needed to know.

  “You mean, why now after I didn’t care enough to clean up that shit in five years?” There was no anger in his voice despite the hard words.

  “Yes, exactly.” Jasmine nodded. At first he didn’t answer, just looked back into her eyes, silently contemplating G
od knows what.

  “I saw you with David before we met at Hall and Son,” he answered after a while. For a second she was taken aback.

  “What? How?” When she pulled her hand from his, she saw the hurt flicker through his eyes. Automatically she wanted to soothe him, but first she had to make sense of his words. For that, she needed a little distance.

  “I went for a business meeting that day, Ronald knew I was coming into town and asked me to visit him. On the way there, I recognized David in a café. I thought about saying hello, then you showed up.”

  Her job interview! Jasmine recalled immediately. The fact that she didn’t have to talk with her potential new boss in a big office, which only would’ve heightened her excitement, had been a big relief. When David announced that he’d wanted to meet in a café, she had been more than happy about it.

  “You wore a dress with a ridiculous flower print.” When Jasmine reached out to slap him against the shoulder, he only chuckled.

  “I love that dress!” she exclaimed.

  To her surprise Cole said, “Me, too. You looked fucking stunning.” There was a fire burning in his eyes, which made it perfectly clear how much he meant what he said. “All these colors…” he said hoarsely, and she knew what those represented for him. “At first, I thought you were on a date, but then you were discussing papers and blueprints.” How long had he watched them, when he had witnessed so much of her job interview? “I was totally enthralled,” he openly admitted when he saw the silent question on Jasmine’s face.

  Automatically she imagined him standing on the sidewalk, staring at something, which he didn’t know anymore—colors, light, life. It was always the simple things, wasn’t it?

  “It started raining and you fled into the café.” While talking, he got a faraway look in his eyes; in his mind he probably saw David and Jasmine again, running from the rain. “It was like waking from a dream. At first I didn’t think much of it, just went to meet Ronald and later drove back here, but…”

  Since he didn’t speak further, only stared into nothing, lost in thought, Jasmine asked, “But what? What did change your mind?”

  “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Without any humor in his eyes, he chuckled. “I didn’t even know your name but couldn’t get you out of my head.” At his words, she would have felt flattered had he not sounded so lost. Back then he must have felt so confused. Like waking up from a nightmare after five years and realizing it really had all happened. Fuck.

  “I think I spent weeks trying to figure out what it was about you that captured me. Soon I decided it didn’t matter what it was. Only thinking about you meant that things started to change.” Silently he shrugged. After having cleared his throat, he sought her gaze again. When staring directly into her eyes, he revealed, “I wanted new and different, so I called Ronald about the renovations, but I also hoped to see you at his office and to finally get to know your name.”

  Falling silent, he hesitantly reached out to cup her cheek with his large hand. Leaning into him, she turned her head to press a kiss into his palm. So it really had been her to turn the switch and make him start all those changes in his life. The realization shocked and humbled her at the same time. He’d poured his heart out; how could she hold back from him then?

  That’s right, she couldn’t.

  “You know I lied to you earlier.”

  His face darkened. “About what?” He started to pull his hand away, but Jasmine stopped him by laying hers on top of his fingers.

  “I said I had a nightmare. That’s completely wrong.” A little smile spread on her lips. “Truthfully, I thought about how fast everything is moving along with us.”

  “Do you want to slow down?” Even though he tried very hard for a calm voice, she saw how much the question cost and how much the idea of her rejection hurt him. Pressing his hand more tightly against her cheek, she shook her head and smiled.

  “No, Cole, I just thought, that it was all going so fast and therefore I am crashing, not falling in love with you.” Her eyes were full of warmth and so much love at this moment, he had to recognize it for what it was. At her words, he took in a sharp breath. Was that a good or a bad sign? Unsure, Jasmine’s heart beat faster inside of her chest.

  After a moment of complete silence, a smile spread on Cole’s cheeks, so wide and bright it seemed to take over his whole face. Even though he didn’t say the words back, his wide smile said enough. At least for now.

  ♥♥♥

  Chapter 18

  EVERYTHING WAS COMING together quite nicely. The plans for the renovations were finalized. They were going to break down a wall within the house and another one toward the garden to let more light in. Surely, the new wall of windows was going to look fabulous. Also, it would bring warmth to the house, which Cole desperately needed in his life—whether he wanted to admit it or not.

  Smiling down at the plans, which were spread out on the countertop of the kitchen, Jasmine was completely happy with her work. Her aim was to give Cole a home he could start to love again, where he could relax, feel comfortable, not haunted by the past. If in the end, he wasn’t able to get involved with someone new after all, Jasmine at least would have given him something to hold on to. She would wait for him, wait for him to tell her he loved her, too—but not forever.

  At the moment, she didn’t want to think about all of that, though. Instead, she concentrated on the plans so that she could explain to David what she intended to achieve with every change to the mansion. Finally, he would make the drive up here and take a look at the mansion for himself. In fact, he was due to arrive any second now. A little nervous, she glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the front door. Cole was out taking a walk with Chester, the two of them growing closer every day. That silly man had even taught the French bulldog to play dead, and bring him the newspaper from the yard. Hopefully, the latter was a sign Cole had meant what he’d said after they’d been out for a movie together. It was just a little trick he’d taught the dog, nonetheless Jasmine wanted very badly for it to mean that he still planned on keeping them in his life.

  Startled, she turned around when she heard someone clearing his throat behind her. With widened eyes, she looked into a pair of bright blue ones. Mr. Hall Senior, not David. Confused, her brows drew together.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. I knocked before I entered.” Mildly, he smiled. Like during their first meeting, he was a very pleasant, nice man.

  “God no, don’t apologize! I was just lost in thought, I guess.” Shaking her head, she snapped herself out of it. “I’m sorry,” she said before making her way to the kitchen door and greeting her boss properly with a handshake.

  “Only good thoughts, I hope.” With glittering eyes, Ronald winked once.

  Still a little lost at his unexpected appearance, Jasmine only managed a nervous laugh. “What happened to David?” Immediately she cringed, adding, “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but…” Before she could make it any worse, she stopped herself from talking. Sometimes she really should control her babbling better! Damn it.

  Chuckling, Mr. Hall walked past her into the kitchen. “Don’t worry, my dear, I understand—you just didn’t expect me, but David.”

  “Yes, right.” Thankful for his easy-going way of handling the situation, she presented him with a little smile. The kitchen was the last room they were going to renovate because they wanted to keep it functional as long as possible. That way they wouldn’t have to live on takeout for too long, but could still cook their own food while the renovations were in full swing. However, that also meant that you could still see Cole’s path of destruction from years before.

  Some cabinet doors were missing; he had ripped them off their hinges. Others had dents in them from his fist hitting them. The flooring was scratched badly, showing signs of heavy objects being thrown onto it. Some of the walls were damaged, too—either he’d hammered them with his bare hands, or tossed something right at them. By n
ow Jasmine was so used to all these things; she hardly noticed them anymore.

  Ronald, on the other hand, inspected everything with a knowing expression on his face, sympathy softening his features. Obviously, he didn’t make the mistake of assuming teenagers had vandalized the place. He had known Cole far too long for that.

  “You were never here after…?” Jasmine didn’t need to end the sentence; naturally Ronald knew exactly what she meant.

  Instantly he ripped his gaze away from the imprint of Cole’s fist in the wall and turned to Jasmine. “He told you?”

  With sadness in her eyes, she nodded. “I know about Cara and Liam, yes. I helped him pack the boxes.”

  “He only now put all their things away?” The expression on her boss’s face went from sad to pained. “He never let us come here anymore,” he said after a little while, helplessly shrugging. “Now I know why. He wasn’t ready to let go and didn’t want us telling him otherwise.”

  Suddenly he turned on his heels, walking straight up to Jasmine. “You made a lot of changes!” Shaking his head, he found his smile again.

  “Do you want to see the plans?” A little confused, she returned his steady gaze on her.

  “Oh, we both know I’m not here for the plans!” With his hand, he made a dismissing gesture.

  “We do?” Now she was even more confused.

  “David and I both agreed that you are perfectly capable of managing the renovations by yourself—if you weren’t, we’d never have hired you to work for our company.”

  “Thanks for the compliment, I guess,” she answered, still not sure what to make of the situation. When Mr. Hall Senior came to a stop in front of her, he took both of her hands and squeezed them gently.

  “I’m here to see for myself what woman was able to bring Cole back to us. He was lost for a very long time.” Slowly, an amused smile spread on his lips. “But my David told me all about how Cole almost lost his mind over you leaving and even telling my son to keep away from you.” The old man chuckled—obviously all of this was very funny to him.

 

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