Good Grief

by Vera Elle Unita

  “You’re good for him,” he concluded, squeezing her hands once more.

  “I care about him very much.” Shyly, she admitted the truth. It was strange to talk about such things with a man who was almost a total stranger to her. To Cole he was like a father, though, and like fathers did, Ronald watched out for his second son. He deserved to know.

  “I can see that you do.” Winningly, he grinned. “I also came here to invite you two over to dinner. Cole’s mother will be there, too, and I can tell you, she and my wife make a mean meatloaf together.” When he grinned and winked at Jasmine again, it was almost impossible not to smile back.

  “You drove all the way to invite me and Cole to dinner?” she asked sarcastically, not trying to hide her doubt.

  “Why yes, I did!” The corners of his eyes crinkled during another amused chuckle. Sudden affection spread inside of Jasmine; she really liked Ronald. What a funny, kind man he was. “I’ve been a businessman for a very long time now. I know when a little effort is worth it.”

  “I’ll talk to Cole, but I think we’ll be happy to come for dinner, thank you, Mr. Hall.”

  “That means you’ll have to call me Ronald.” Patting her hand, he grinned in triumph. “Dinner is at seven on Sunday evening.”

  “You’re asking my girl out, old man?” Cole stood in the doorway. His threatening tone couldn’t fool them; there was amusement in his eyes. Also, the corners of his mouth already twitched.

  Before Ronald could answer, Cole marched through the kitchen, wrapping the other man in a hug. From the shock on Ronald’s face, it was clear that he hadn’t expected his second son to show such affection. After five years of a scowling Cole, he probably wasn’t used to anything else anymore. Quickly the shock changed to an emotional smile.

  “Good to see you, son,” he murmured, clapping Cole on his broad back. After they let go of each other again, Ronald evidently fought for his countenance. Clearing his throat, he said, “I’ll be very happy to see you both at dinner on Sunday.”

  Reaching for Jasmine’s hand, Cole tugged on it until she stumbled backward with her spine against his chest. Casually wrapping his arms around her waist, he told Ronald, “We’ll be there.”

  Running into the kitchen to see what the humans were all talking about, Chester came to an abrupt stop when he saw Ronald.

  “Who might this beautiful little boy be?” The pure delight on the older man’s face as he leaned down to let Chester sniff his hand made Jasmine like him even more. Always so full of trust, Chester decided to make a new friend—or at least to find himself a new person to give him a good belly rub. With a happy sound, he threw himself onto his back. Promptly, Ronald began scratching the little guy.

  “You got yourself a dog?” From his crouching position, he looked up with a questioning gaze.

  “That’s Chester. He’s mine,” Jasmine let him know. Nodding, Ronald patted the dog a little while longer. In thanks, Chester began licking the man’s wrist.

  “He’s a beautiful pup. I had an English bulldog once. Perhaps if you bring Chester along on Sunday night, I can finally persuade Anna to get a dog, too. Who could resist his little face?” Seeing the man in his fashionable, expensive business suit oohing and aahing at Chester was one beautiful sight.

  “Let Jasmine tell the story of how she and Chester found each other—I’m sure Anna won’t be able to deny you then.” Curiously Ronald glanced up at Cole and said, “Will do.”

  The next hour they showed Ronald around the house, explaining to him what changes they planned to do. In the end, they even had dinner together. It was a really nice evening. Despite the fact that Jasmine’s boss was sitting across from her, she’d enjoyed herself and had a really good time. Dinner on Sunday evening with Cole’s family would be okay, she guessed. If the rest of his folks were only half as easy to be with as Ronald was, then everything was going to be fine.

  After having said their goodbyes Cole walked the older man to the door. Before Ronald left, the two men exchanged a few more words. Only then did Mr. Hall Senior leave. Behind him, the door closed with hardly any sound. When Cole turned around, the light flickered above him.

  Something in Jasmine’s head clicked. Perhaps it was due to the lights, or it was because his beard had grown back completely by now. It didn’t matter anyway. Jasmine suddenly knew why he had seemed so familiar when she’d first seen him at Hall & Son.

  It hadn’t been the first time they had met.

  Oh God, she’d been there! Five years ago she had been there, in the same hospital, on the same fucking floor. When his world had been crashing down all around him. Jasmine had seen him at the most vulnerable moment of his life and she had no idea how he was going to react when she told him.

  ♥♥♥

  Chapter 19

  NERVOUSLY PACING UP and down in front of the bed, she waited for Cole to come out of the bathroom. Clasping her hands tightly together, she glanced at the door for the hundredth time. At least she had been able to play it cool until now. Whenever he had asked if something was wrong, she had told him she was just tired. He had believed her, or so she’d thought.

  “Will you tell me what’s going on now?” His deep rumble made her jump and press a hand against her chest, where her heart raced rapidly.

  With deep lines of concern on his face, he crossed the room. Right before her, he came to a halt. Wearing nothing but jogging pants sitting low on his hips, he seemed even taller to Jasmine. All of his defined muscles were so much more imposing when they weren’t covered up. The heat from his body slowly reached her but wasn’t enough to warm her. Nonetheless, she didn’t dare press up against him right now. Who knew if he’d want to push her away after she told him the truth?

  Cole was a proud man. He had told her about the greatest loss of his life, but it was totally different to hear a story than to witness parts of it. Would he still be comfortable with her or would she remind him of that fatal night? Would he be able to look at her then?

  Frightened like never before in her life, she swallowed hard. “I need to tell you something,” she whispered, not able to speak any louder.

  The line between his brows only deepened, but he didn’t try to rush her. Instead, Cole fully accepted the distance she’d created between them, though he openly disliked it. “What is it, angel?”

  “I think…” she started, but stopped herself quickly. Biting her lower lip, she blinked up at him. With the serious expression in his eyes and that sexy full beard he looked so much like he did back then, it stole her breath away. How hadn’t she realized it sooner? Well, the broken man in the hospital five years ago hadn’t seemed like someone to ever wear a suit or be a tech guy. By now Jasmine understood that the cold businessman wasn’t the real Cole, but only the result of a man wanting to badly forget himself. How to do that? Well, the easiest part was changing your looks. Shaving and putting on a suit.

  Now that he, piece by piece, started to relax into his old self again, he let the beard grow and wore clothes he felt comfortable in. That was the real Cole Ward. The one who stood before her now, but also the stranger whom she had met five years ago. It was his right to know.

  As soon as Jasmine had come to that conclusion, she took a steadying breath. After that, she stopped holding back and the words began to flow out of her mouth. “Five years ago, you sat all alone in a waiting area of some corridor in the hospital.” As if she’d slapped him, his jaw ticked; the darkness in his eyes was back in full force from one second to the other. “And I sat beside you, Cole. We met back then. I was there, I saw you and I am so sorry.” Remembering the sheer force of his grief and all that anger made it all more real. She could perfectly see the stranger from back then going home and destroying a whole floor. He’d been vibrating with so much pain and ire, capable of just about anything.

  “I don’t want to remind you, but you have the right to know and…” In her despair, she talked way too fast, her tone high, perhaps even a little panicked.

  A
ll of that came to an abrupt stop, when Cole told her, “I already know.”

  Taken aback, all the air left her lungs in a rush. Blinking up at him her mouth fell open. “W-what?” she breathed out.

  “I remembered you being there when I took you outside on the hood of the pickup.” That had been weeks ago! Only a few days after her arrival at the mansion.

  “But…” Did that mean, he could look at her without being taken right back to that terrible night? “How?”

  The tiniest of smiles tugged at his lips, shooing away the stern expression of before. Pain would always be a part of him, but he wouldn’t allow it to dominate his life anymore. This truth became clear to her in this very moment. A little roughly, his hands cradled her face. “You didn’t have a beard to disguise yourself back then, did you?”

  How much she loved him for trying to be funny in spite of everything else! She could never possibly show him the full extent of her feelings. “No, I did not,” she smiled; still a few tears spilled from her eyes. She’d been so afraid he would never be able to look at her again!

  Gently, his thumbs began caressing her face. “You were my angel back then; everything was dark, but you brought light. You sat down with a total stranger to give him comfort. Do you even know how rare that is?” His intense gaze was full of awe and astonishment at her actions from all these years ago. At his revelation, Jasmine was totally dumbstruck, not able to speak anymore.

  “You were there in my darkest hours, and I will always be grateful for that.”

  No matter how beautiful his words were, they both knew that her act of kindness had only helped him through the night. The next morning he’d driven home—back here—and lost himself in a world of pain.

  “The first week, I drank a hell of a lot, otherwise I probably would have already recognized you in that café with David.” Their paths had crossed by pure chance—not one, not two, but three times in their lives. It had to mean something, right? “The past five years I don’t remember much, but I never forgot what you told me in the hospital.” All the emotions in his eyes made him look half-crazed—life could do that to a person.

  “Pain is like love,” Jasmine remembered. “You can’t choose to feel it and when it has you in its clutches you can’t get rid of it anymore. But over time, it can fade.” In hindsight, her own words made her tear up even more. He should have listened to her then, should have taken the time instead of shoving it all deep down, letting the years fly by without even noticing them.

  “That’s right.” Cole nodded at her words, seemingly remembering the moment back in that hospital. Determined, he took a step closer so that Jasmine had to throw her head back completely in order to keep looking into his eyes. “You were right and wrong. The pain does fade, but I won’t lie, I love them as fiercely as I did back then.”

  Of course, he did. Jasmine didn’t expect or want anything else. Love faded after heartbreak; that was what she’d meant. She couldn’t possibly have known what had happened to his wife and son, that they hadn’t left Cole by free will. Not heartbreak, but loss.

  “Loving them doesn’t mean I can’t love you, too.” Her heart beat wildly when Cole spoke the words, making her unbelievably happy with them. Hungrily, his mouth descended on hers. Like a starving man he kissed her, their tongues dancing; the heat of his body enclosing hers when he pulled her against him.

  “Perhaps I already loved you a little back then for staying with me that night.” Grabbing her hands, he pressed her palms against his naked chest. Underneath his heart beat in a thundering rhythm.

  “Where was your family?” How could he have been so alone when there were people like Ronald obviously caring about him a great deal?

  “Simply stuck in traffic, then they just didn’t find me in that hospital—I have no idea how I ended up there, where you found me.” He must have been walking through the halls aimlessly, most likely feeling empty and not caring anymore.

  “She was two days early; we’d spent the weekend in the apartment in New York and I took her to her favorite restaurant.” So many variables and still they somehow both had ended up in one of New York’s many hospitals on the same floor in the same hall.

  “You always meet twice in a lifetime, right?”

  Caressing her face and losing himself in the depths of her eyes, he only nodded. “I’m glad we met again.”

  “Me, too.” If only to see that the man, whose pain she hadn’t been able to forget months after the incident in the hospital, was at least close to being okay now. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His hands buried themselves in the long, light brown strands of her hair. The sensation on her scalp made shivers run down her back.

  “I wasn’t sure if I wanted you to remember me like that. Hell, I’m still not sure.”

  At that, Jasmine decidedly shook her head. “Like what? Like someone who was grieving? Good grief, remember?” It was healthy, hopefully even helping, to heal a broken soul. It was absolutely nothing you had to be ashamed of.

  “Yeah, I remember.” With that, talking was over. The expression in his eyes had changed, the memories were laid to rest for a while. He was being consumed by the love that he felt for Jasmine. It shone so brightly in his eyes, no one could have missed it.

  Clutching her body close to his, he dipped his head again to kiss her mindless. “I love you madly,” he rasped against her mouth, after biting her lower lip. As she opened for him, he immediately seized the chance to join their tongues. The feeling was intoxicating, making them want only more and more and more.

  Guttural sounds of lust left her lips as he lifted her by her behind, pressing her pelvis against the hardness of his erection. Wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, she rhythmically began rubbing against him, making both of them moan. He felt so good, the power of his body giving her a sense of security. Lovingly, she stroked through the hair at the back of his head.

  In the meantime, Cole’s hands trailed up and down her thighs, making goose bumps erupt on her skin. “Please,” she begged, not really knowing what she was asking of him.

  Sometimes he seemed to understand her better than she did herself. When Cole laid her onto the bed, his heavy body right above her, it was exactly what she needed. Sighing, she grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss. They had made love to each other many times before, but never in that way. It was much more honest, much more intimate, for there was absolutely nothing left standing between them. The whole truth was out—the past and their feelings for each other today. The words of love only heightened the sensations.

  Pulling the top of her pajamas upward, Cole exposed her breasts. He pressed kisses to the rosebuds, nipped at her flesh, and she cried out in pleasure. With his hands, he kneaded her breasts and played with one of her nipples, while his mouth covered the other to suck on it. Beneath him, her whole body shook in anticipation. Her nails dug into his shoulders, only showing him how much she already wanted him.

  When she lifted her hips a tiny bit, seeking out his, Cole hissed out a breath. He was throbbing for her, wanting her badly, but wanting even more to give her everything he had. Before he knew it, Jasmine had slipped a hand into his jogging pants, gripping him. A heavy groan left his lips in reaction—her soft hand felt so fucking good on him.

  As she started stroking him, his mind went blank for a moment. Bliss. If he didn’t control himself, she would make him come in seconds. Gently he pushed her fingers away from him, kissing her deeply in thanks. He then pulled her pajamas completely off so that she was absolutely bare before him—so, so beautiful. Each time, she took his breath away.

  Bending down, he left a trail of kisses from her belly button up to her breasts where he lingered for a few moments. Watching her go wild was a beautiful thing. So much passion, so much life. God, he loved being the reason for it. While still showering her breasts with kisses, one of his hands stroked down until between her legs. He spread apart her folds and pressed a finger in. Hearing her cries of p
leasure was like hearing his favorite song. Wetting her left nipple with his tongue, he blew some air against it. Then he gently bit into it. By now she was so sensitive, her hips immediately bucked. Feeling her clench around his fingers made him almost spill his seed.

  “You feel so good, angel,” he rasped out while beginning to pump into her with first one, then two fingers.

  “Cole,” she helplessly moaned. In exquisite pleasure her eyes closed shut, she was already flying, her body bending upward as she came hard. It wasn’t enough for him, though; it never would be. Mercilessly, he kept pumping his fingers into her. With his free hand, he rolled one of her nipples, biting into the other one. Jasmine flew apart again.

  “Oh God, Cole, please…please, inside me.” When her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him with so much love, she stole his breath. To get rid of his pants, he needed to stand up. Because it pained him to let go of her for only a few seconds, he hurried to get back on the bed. By then Jasmine was already reaching out to him, to welcome him back into her loving arms. Positioning himself at her entrance, he looked down at her beautiful face. “I love you,” he promised. Although he hadn’t said the words in such a long time, he now couldn’t say them often enough.

  Gently her fingers feathered over his cheekbones and jawline. “I love you, too. So very much.” Instantly he tasted her lips for a long kiss, at the same time pressing his hips forward, entering her oh, so very slowly. When he was buried to the hilt, they both moaned in pleasure. Joining their hands, he pressed them into the sheets on each side of Jasmine’s head. Pulling out again, it sent a jolting sensation through both of their bodies. Immediately he sank back deeply and he hit exactly the right spot. Her legs shivered at his sides, and her sweet guttural noises had started again, driving him mad.

  Moving inside of her in that perfect, slow but deep rhythm made both of them come hard at the end. When they did, Cole bent his head down and bit her lower lip. Immediately Jasmine’s eyes snapped open, and they drowned in each other’s expressions—the most intimate way to look into another person’s eyes, for you couldn’t hide anything in that moment. They were completely bare before one another, only their deep love surrounding them.