His memory served him well, pulling up a file Jedd had once come across in his search. Although they had never met, he remembered the boy’s picture. There were a few marked differences though, the most obvious being that the patient’s head was clean-shaven. There were still fresh razor burns along his skin. His time at the facility had allowed the dark tan in his picture to fade, leaving him pale as a ghost. He also had a sunken complexion, as though he had just stepped out of Auschwitz. The sheets covering his thin arms and legs moved up and down, but the patient’s icy blue stare seemed uninhabited. The vacant gaze disturbed Jedd most of all.
What the hell did they do to you?
The earlier photograph was of a young man in his late teens, whose eyes danced with exuberance. The unblinking gaze supported his suspicion; the very tests they used to develop these children into competent agents, also sapped their souls. The shell of a man in front of him was all that was left of the energetic teen who first entered the facility. The consequences of the PASTOR department’s actions were extreme.
Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to overflow their spillway. Jedd wiped them away, but found nothing present. Looking down, he could see his hand, but as he attempted to touch his cheek, it unnervingly passed through his face.
No matter how vivid this is, he reminded himself, it’s nothing more than a dream.
His thoughts turned to his goddaughter with growing concern. Without warning, his form angled southward, building momentum as it went. The boy’s lifeless gaze drifted from view and Jedd felt a weight lift from his shoulders, only to be replaced by something ten times larger.
An uneasy feeling grew in his stomach, and he frantically searched the rooms for his goddaughter. Sinking further into the tall building, he came to a stop in a room like the rest. Much like the other patient, this one was pale, but fared better. She seemed healthy, but something about the sight tugged at him. Her wrists were tied to the bed railings with short straps, a more common sight than he liked. Even with her eyes closed, Jedd knew his goddaughter within seconds. Relief found him and the angst that accumulated during his thirteen-year search began to ease. He had given up his life for her over a dozen years ago.
An instant after the thought crossed his mind, a picture of his loving, yet distraught wife appeared. Leaving her was a decision he had not made lightly. He had chanced to follow her once after his feigned death and found her bowed low in the heat of the noon-day sun. She had fallen to the ground in a city parking lot. Her legs protruded from under her disheveled skirt like a small child, unaware of social graces and expectations. But unlike an eager and curious little girl, her fragile hold on reality had fractured. She sobbed uncontrollably, screaming his name. Onlookers gawked from the entrance to the big-box retail store, but no one rushed to her side. It was as though her guttural shrieks could be heard the world over. Driving away and leaving her on the blistering asphalt was the hardest thing he had ever done.
At least her screams didn’t escape the deepest recesses of my mind.
Jedd tried to reassure himself with the thought, but paranoia threw his gaze at the door before retuning to Madelin’s prone body. Seeing his goddaughter’s eyes still lidded, Jedd let out a sigh. With great difficulty he suppressed the memory, pushing it aside until another time. As usual, Madelin’s safety was of greater concern.
Something about her still tickled the back of his mind. Jedd pinpointed what was aggravating him. She was not coping well. Her nails had been chewed down to the quick, and a drug-filled needle sat beside a vial on the tray next to the bed. Taking a closer look, he noted the name, ‘Piroxiten’. He was vaguely familiar with the sedative, but the thought of using such a potent drug on Madelin was revolting. It sat waiting for the mad doctors in case the patient needed to be put under.
Jedd watched Madelin’s medically induced sleep for a few minutes. Even now her lidded eyes shifted as her brain acted of its own volition, breaking through the chemical haze and immersing her in a disturbing dream.
It must appear more real than anything in this place, he concluded.
Her head and hands quivered while Jedd stood over the bed. His heart went out to her, causing the flood-waters to build behind his eyes yet again. As his emotions took hold, his desire to help pulled him toward the girl. He became aware of his reality altering. Madelin and the building around him shifted, becoming a bad imitation of life. The hospital scene faded from sight, leaving him peering through tear-filled eyes at a scene he knew all too well.
The heat from the flames of Madelin’s family home singed the hair on her arms and around her face, but she could not look away and neither could her godfather. The voices around her were no more than murmurs, like the buzz of bees, and the people in black treated her as though she were infected with the plague.
Madelin’s hands grasped tighter to Deedee, her favorite friend and the only other thing to make it out of the house alive. She clutched him close. Her fingers dug through the ash and singed fur, finding the fluffy stuffing underneath. A course crosswind blew, causing her to shiver in her sweat-soaked nightgown. She watched the flames devour her past and future.
Does she even know what the dream is about? Jedd wondered.
Madelin gave him no answer. She just stared into the fire with the infinite patience of a statue. Jedd watched the flames dance amongst the gentle, red curls hanging tousled about her head. Knowing time was of the essence, Jedd pulled himself away from the scene that still haunted him and concentrated on the young, heartbroken girl. Her emotions vibrated through her mental synapse, and he sensed what she felt, as though sheltered within the recesses of her mind.
He opened his mouth to speak, but a raspy, smoke-filled cough was all that crossed the void before disappearing in a field of static. Trying a second time, he croaked, “Hello,” but still an invisible curtain blocked his words.
Watching the suffering young girl standing in the driveway, he started a third time with more force, “Hello, Madelin!”
The young child’s head whipped around and a haunting, remorseful stare drilled into Jedd’s heart. It pierced through every curtain that could ever separate two people. The look wounded him, forcing him to retreat from the memory and her thoughts, back into the stark hospital room. Madelin’s eyes fluttered open but he continued to withdraw, only stopping when he sensed the wall approaching from behind. Standing opposite her, he watched with longing as she looked around the room. He did not wish to leave the woman who had unknowingly controlled each decision he had made for more than a decade.
Awake, Madelin sat up and glanced around the room. Seeing no one present, she muttered through tortured lips, “How horrible.”
Her shoulders slumped as tears threatened to flood her jade eyes. She tried to restrain the onslaught, but her emotions won out. Tears emerged and masked her eyes like a translucent film, clouding their inner-light. Salty rivers streamed down her sunlight-deprived cheeks. The flow intensified and sobs wracked her body. She tried to stifle the noise in the sterile, white sheets, but her bonds did not allow them to reach her face.
As she wept, Jedd heard her questions, “What does it mean? What’s wrong with me?”
She clutched large fistfuls of hospital linens much like she held Deedee minutes before, tensing under the restraints. After the bout of confusion and self pity, her white kimono was drenched.
Unable to stand the heartbreaking image any longer, Jedd stepped forward. The static distortion crackled before parting to his will. “Madelin, little one, don’t cry. I’m here to help.”
The interruption startled Madelin and she sank into the bed further than seemed possible. The fear that infused her glazed eyes left Jedd feeling worse than before.
But what else could I do?
The flood gates closed at the sound of Jedd’s strange voice. Peering over the wrinkled mass of bed sheets, she replied with a stutter, “Who-o-o are you?”
Seeing her fear turn to curiosity, Jedd took heart. He was aware that sh
e was unlikely to believe him, but summoned the courage to answer. “A friend from a long time ago, but we don’t have much time. Are you okay? Do you know where you are?”
“No, but how do I know I’m not still dreaming? I can’t see you. Where’re you hiding?”
Jedd’s voice responded, accompanied yet again by the static, “I’m not hiding and you’re not dreaming. We’re speaking like we used to, back when you were a child. You remember?” The question was tinged with the last ounce of hope he could manage. Jedd listened for the door to announce any newcomers, but the room’s quiet was only disturbed by Madelin’s sniffles.
“No,” came the reply. She shook her head.
His heart dropped like a stone, but he noticed that her searching eyes had now focused on his location. She squinted at him as he spoke.
“We’ll have to work on that, but first we’ve gotta get you out of here. Can you walk?”
She interrupted him with an excited shriek. “I can see you, when you talk! You’re standing by the window, where the moonlight hits the floor. But then you disappear, why is that?”
Jedd thought for a second. Seeing no way of explaining what he did not understand, he replied, “I can’t tell you now. We don’t have time. Can you walk?”
Madelin squinted as he talked, waiting for another glimpse. Then, she answered with hesitation, “Yes … but I don’t know where to go. I can’t even get out of bed without someone following me around with a handful of keys and a loaded needle. What do they want from me anyways?” The last question almost grew to a shout.
“I’ll answer your questions later. Right now we’ve got to find a way out,” Jedd whispered. He forced his voice to remain calm in the hopes that it would be contagious. “I can show you the way, but I can’t do anything about the straps.”
Before the static had dissolved, her eyes lit up. An opportunity at freedom had come her way. “I can get the nurse’s attention...” As she finished the thought, her words dwindled, “but she won’t take them off.”
Seeing an opportunity, he replied, “She will if you don’t give her a choice. Can you reach the large needle on the table?”
Comprehension dawned on her and mischief illuminated her face as she glanced at the nightstand.
“Maybe.”
Her courage hasn’t diminished, thought Jedd with a smile.
She reached toward the tray holding the sedative. The restraints held fast, leaving her fingers straining inches away. “Maybe if I…” and without another word she thrust her body at the nightstand.
He shuddered at the sound as inch by inch, the locked wheels of the bed squealed. They resisted, but Madelin’s forceful jerks brought the bed closer to the small table.
The static flared as Jedd abandoned his calm. “Hurry! Before the nurse hears you…” but his words trailed off as the door swung open to admit a short, broad-shouldered woman in her forties.
Helga, as her name tag read, swept into the room with the confidence of a no-nonsense mother and wide hips that looked to have cradled many suckling children. Having inched close enough to grasp the needle, Madelin stuffed it under the bed sheets. In her rush she caught the edge of the tray and knocked its contents to the floor with a metallic crash. Helga came into sight a moment later and looked curiously at Madelin, who was feigning sleep. His goddaughter quivered under the wrinkled mass of sheets.
Seeing this, the nurse whispered, “Poor baby … poor … poor … baby.”
With a shake of her head, she began to sing a soft lullaby. It was a rhyme that Jedd remembered from his own childhood. Approaching the side of the bed, the nurse bent down to pick up the tray of medicine, unaware of her silent observer.
“Oh poor gal, have ya had a bad start from those awful dreams again? Well ol’ Helga’ll make it all better,” she whispered after finishing the first verse.
A smile spread across Jedd’s face. He could see Madelin shaking under the covers. The situation couldn’t have played out better, he thought. She thinks Madelin’s suffering from nightmares.
Jedd knew the adrenaline-rush coursing through his goddaughter’s veins, and he watched anxiously as the nurse searched the floor beside the bed. Helga stood up with a perplexed look. However, it was short lived as Madelin thrust the needle up to the nurse’s neck. A look of pure terror engulfed the broad woman as Patient 914 threatened to pierce her esophagus.
“Take these things off me, NOW!” Madelin demanded in the face of the startled woman. She spoke with such viciousness that Jedd wondered if he had found the right person.
Glancing out the window, the grounds loomed up at him.
Whew … I did drift a long ways, he thought, seeing one level separating them from the ground floor.
Below them were decorative bushes flowering in the moonlight and a landscaped grass lawn. Gauging the distance to the ground, he realized that it was still too far for her to jump. His first idea thwarted, Jedd turned his attention back to the white hospital room.
“I c-c-can’t,” the nurse stammered back. “Y-Y-You just a-a-aren’t feeling well. L-L-Lie d-d-down, darlin’. H-H-Helga will help…”
But before she could finish, Jedd’s eyes widened in shock as Madelin sunk the needle into the nurse’s neck. With half its length visible, the nurse’s eyes bulged.
Madelin snarled, “DO IT NOW!”
Helga stared into her unwavering green glare, attempting to maintain control. But, seeing few options, her demeanor turned to submission. She released the closest wrist restraint. Her head resembled still life in its lack of expression, as though it were a trophy stag mounted upon a wall of thin air. Her hands worked without vision and sought the last strap across the bed.
Seconds felt like minutes as Jedd peered from the nurse, to the door, and back again. He could see excitement creeping into Madelin’s eyes, but Jedd was afraid of what hurdles they might still have to overcome.
How long have I been here?
Glancing out the window again, he noticed that the moon was still high in the sky. He hoped that time passed the same in this state.
What’ll happen if someone finds me in the café? It’s a twenty-four-hour joint, but how do I look to people? If I’m out too long, will the employees call the authorities? The questions built up in his mind as he stared at the large, waxing moon.
He looked back at Madelin’s situation, helpless to assist. She struggled free of the horizontal jail cell while holding the woman at arm’s length. Helga carefully stepped back as Madelin slipped out of the bed. The kimono-like hospital gown clung to her in wrinkled clumps, revealing her stomach’s sunlight deprived skin. Standing upright, the top of her forehead reached the large nurses chin, but she glared at the older woman with the cold hatred of an abused slave, finally given her chance at retribution. Her tenacity was more than Jedd had bargained for, but it gave her an edge she would need. She still had the same courage she possessed as an overzealous child, but the tests and captivity had twisted her perception.
What will she do? he asked himself. Does she know when to stop? Does she still have a conscience? What have they done to her? The questions flew through his mind unhindered. Madelin was more vicious than a lioness protecting her cubs. He knew she would never forget what they had done to her. If only she knew the true extent of their meddling, he thought morosely.
He watched Madelin’s eyes blaze like green fire and noticed a change as a question came to her. She looked where he had been, but his silence left him invisible. Fear took hold and the needle quivered.
“What do I do now?” she screamed, her nerve slipping.
* * * * *
Chapter 3: A World Apart
Wednesday, June 21st
The first morning of freedom, I awoke to a world of confusion…
~Excerpt from the Journal of Madelin Boatweit~
“Sir,” a young woman with dark, shoulder-length hair repeated as she shook his shoulder. “Are you alright? You were yelling in your sleep.”
Jedd’s ey
esight cleared and he looked over at the woman. An apron displaying the café’s crest was strapped around her neck and waist.
Clearing his throat, Jedd replied, “Oh, I must have dozed off.”
He glanced around. Other customers in the restaurant watched him with dismay. Some whispered like mice hiding in the corner, then snickered and glanced away. It was apparent that he had overstayed his welcome at this particular venue.
“Sir, if you don’t mind, we’d like to offer this seat to a paying customer. I can recommend a local hotel if you wish,” the waitress prompted.
“No, no, that won’t be necessary. Sorry for the inconvenience. I’ll be leaving,” he replied, pocketing his electronics in a hurry. Then, Jedd steered toward the back door.
How could I have dozed off in such a public place? Those rules are there for a reason, he chided. They’ve saved my ass time and again, and here I go doing something so incredibly dumb. If there’s a bomb strapped to the bottom of my car, I deserve it.
Ashamed, he tried to avoid the stares, but everyone else was at a standstill. It was as though he had stepped into a mannequin factory. Flipping up the collar of his jacket, he winced as a moist spot slapped his cheek.
I must have been drooling, too, he thought in disgust.
He could never return here, but that was not his primary concern. He had to get somewhere safe and find Madelin. She needed him.
Jedd glanced down the aisle of cars, searching for anyone suspicious. He saw no one and walked to the car. He scanned it for newly acquired technology but found nothing. He unlocked the vehicle, started the car, and took a mental note of the time, 2:28 a.m. It seemed that time passed at the same rate in his dream as it did in the real world.
Shifting into gear, he sped out of the parking lot and into traffic. He had to find a quiet hotel before the agency caught up to Madelin. Without any memories or knowledge of the area, she was a sitting duck. It was too much for him to bear!
Invisible Dawn Page 3