Another person who already had him dead. “That’s not my plan.”
“But whatever you’re doing is dangerous. Don’t do it.”
A couple moved across the room, catching his eye with their loving embrace. “Look, the reason I called you was because… because I was an ass. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“You still love your wife, I get that.”
“No.” He scowled at the wall. “I mean… a part of me will always love her, but she’s gone, and I know that. But what you and I shared—”
“I shouldn’t have crawled in bed with you. It was my fault. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Damn, Sara, I’m not apologizing for making love to you, I’m apologizing for what I said. It wasn’t a mistake. It’s the first thing in my damn life that’s felt right since I lost my family. I want that, Sara. At least I want a chance at it. A chance at us. At us being an us.”
“Dying won’t bring her back,” Sara said, as if she wasn’t listening to what he said.
“I’m not planning on dying. We could start all over. I could take you to dinner. A real date.”
“I didn’t pull that bullet out of your leg and risk losing my job for you to go and get yourself killed.”
Roberto closed his eyes. “You want me to live?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then give me something to live for, Sara. Tell me, no, promise me, that you’ll see me again when this is over.”
Austin woke up feeling anchored and warm. He opened his eyes. A smile bubbled up inside him at the sight of the petite brunette pillowed on his chest. Damn, she was pretty. And sexy. And… real.
A thread of fear wrapped around the ball of happiness filling his chest. Could it last? It never did. People walked away—dropped you off at day care, left you to sit outside on a porch, when they weren’t coming. People told the foster program they couldn’t keep you anymore; people who promised you forever handed you back your ring and said good-bye.
He pushed the thought away. He was just going to enjoy this now. He’d pay the price later. He always did, didn’t he? And he survived it.
She stirred. Her gentle weight against him felt so damn right. So right, he wondered if he could survive losing her. But it was too late to stop it. He cared. Cared too much. All he could do was make it last as long as he could. And the fact that she lived in another city might even help it last. It would always feel fresh. Maybe she wouldn’t be so eager to walk away like the others had in his life.
Glancing at the clock, he realized it wasn’t even five. He’d set the alarm for five thirty so they could meet Dallas and the others at their hotel by seven. He leaned down and kissed her. She bolted up, eyes wide, as if shocked to wake up with someone.
“Morning,” he said.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I’m not used to…” As if realizing she wasn’t wearing anything, she snatched the sheet off him and clutched it to her chest. Her eyes traveled down his naked chest to his sex, standing at its normal morning salute. She pulled the corner of the sheet from around her legs and tossed it over him, the tent in the sheet still evident.
Her face reddened and he grinned.
“You are unscrupulous,” she said, a slight tease in her tone.
“You are gorgeous.” He pulled her in for a kiss that led just where he wanted it to go.
The sun hadn’t risen yet, and while they were on their way to Austin in Rick’s truck, Leah was on her way to worrying again. In twenty minutes or less, he was going to leave her in some hotel with another man. Fear for Austin’s safety, and fear for her heart, started building with the sound of the wheels rolling down the freeway.
As the first golden rays of sun spilled light from the pink sky, her unasked questions from last night popped off like fireworks in her head.
Unsure how to start, she blurted the first question out. “Have you ever been married?”
He sent her an odd glance, as if she should have known the answer. But how could she, he’d been pretending to be someone else?
“No,” he said.
“Engaged?”
His lips tightened, as if he didn’t like that question. “Once.”
“What was she like?”
He focused on the road, silent for several seconds. “Blond, about five-nine. Green eyes.”
She frowned. “That’s not what I meant. What was her personality?”
He took one hand off the wheel and rested it on her thigh. “I don’t know how to describe someone’s personality.”
She put her hand on top of his. “Try.”
He moved his hand back, and his fingers tightened around the wheel. “Why are you asking this?”
“You asked me about my ex.”
“Not to describe his personality.” He chuckled.
She waited a few seconds. “It’s just, you know a lot about me and I don’t know a lot about you.”
He shifted his shoulders as if he didn’t feel comfortable. “You know more about me than most people.”
She considered his words. “You mean about your childhood?”
“Yeah.” He frowned.
“Why did you tell me about that?” She hoped he’d say it was because he’d felt connected to her—something that would assure her she wasn’t alone in her feelings—feelings that were a kitten’s whisker away from falling in love.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, it just came up.”
She nodded, disappointed in his answer. “So what was she like?”
“I told you she abandoned me.”
“Your fiancée?”
He flinched. “I thought you meant my mom.” Another silence filled the cab. “Cara was a mistake, just like your ex.”
“Did you love her?” She filed away the name. Cara.
He looked at Leah, his eyes tight with what appeared to be frustration. “If you’re worried she’s still a part of my life, then don’t. She’s not.”
“I’m not worried about that,” she said. “I just…”
“Just what?” He sounded puzzled.
Suddenly insecure about her… insecurities, she said, “I…” How could she explain it? She decided to be honest, mostly honest. “I’m nervous.”
“About what?” He paused. “Today?”
“Yeah. And tomorrow.” She waved a hand between them. “About this. Us. About what it is.”
“This?” He waved his hand between them. “This is friggin’ great. It’s awesome.” He offered her a sexy smile. “Didn’t you enjoy this morning?”
She pointed out the obvious. “We live almost two hundred miles apart.” And that’s if you don’t get killed today by my half brother.
Then an epiphany hit. The thought of losing him physically was making her question if she actually had him emotionally. Everything had happened so fast. It was as if she’d woken up and found herself almost in love. And she wasn’t sure if she’d gotten here by herself, or if he’d made the trek with her. If he wasn’t really into “this,” she needed to know—needed to start putting on her emotional brakes. Brakes she’d kept locked until he walked into her life.
“That’s part of what makes it great.” He sounded as if he’d given it some thought.
“What?”
“The fact that you live in Heartbroke and I’m in Miller. We won’t get in each other’s way. Then on weekends, we can hook up. I’ll keep my apartment next to yours. Some weekends we can meet at the cabin.”
“You think I’d get in your way?”
“No.” He frowned. “I didn’t say that.”
“Yes, you did.” She quietly folded her hands in her lap, her chest tightening. A bright spray of sun spilled into the cab. Then she realized what else he’d said, that he’d keep his apartment. He didn’t even want to stay at her place.
Good golly. She was at an emotional place where she was ready to offer him forever, yet he wasn’t even going to offer her his weekends. She mentally reached for the emergency brake.
“Well,
I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that… we both have our jobs and lives, and this way we won’t have to deal with that kind of stuff with each other.”
“But that ‘stuff’ is life.”
“It’s the drudgery of life. I won’t need to worry if I have to work late. When we’re together, we just have fun. No daily crap to worry about.”
“So just sex, huh?” The question bubbled up from somewhere inside her.
His brows tightened. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t make what I said into something bad.”
Was that what she was doing? True, he hadn’t said anything about sex, but…“I’m just feeling vulnerable.”
“You don’t have to,” he said. “Like I said, this is the best-case scenario.”
Why was it best? Didn’t he know that statistically, long-distance relationships didn’t last? Why was everything beginning to feel wrong? Even her asking questions felt wrong, as if she was some clingy girl he’d slept with and who was now seeking promises.
He reached over and passed a hand over her cheek. “Hey… absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
If the brakes weren’t all the way pulled, they were now. That clarified his emotional status. Austin wanted the fun, but not the commitment. Just like her ex, who swore he still loved her but didn’t want to be monogamous. Just like her dad, who wanted her mom but didn’t want to live with her or be a part of his own kids’ lives.
She tried to swallow the emotion, but it hung on her tonsils. She felt eight again, being abandoned by her father at the cemetery.
The temptation hit to tell Austin the distance quote was bullshit. But logic intervened. Now wasn’t the time. He was about to step into a dangerous situation.
While they wouldn’t have a future, she didn’t want his future to be cut short because of her or her half brother. Good-bye would come soon enough.
She stared out the window. Fury burned her chest, but not at him. Not now. When he’d lied, she’d had a right to be furious, but he’d come clean. And he’d never confessed feelings for her at any time. Austin’s only admission was his attraction.
He hadn’t made promises. She hadn’t asked for promises. He’d saved her life. Probably saved her brother’s life. But they hardly knew each other. So what if they’d had sex? Great sex. It wasn’t his fault she’d let her heart get involved—that she wasn’t into recreational sex like ninety percent of the adult world.
It wasn’t his fault that her absent father had messed with her head and had her waiting for some knight in shining armor to sweep in and promise her a fairy-tale ending—one that included forever.
It wasn’t his fault that she couldn’t accept anything less.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
AUSTIN KNOCKED ON the hotel door. As soon as Rick opened it, he saw the look of concern on Leah’s face.
“Who’s with my brother?” she asked.
“Another PI’s with him,” Austin answered.
After knowing she was comfortable, he needed to head out. The others were waiting on him in the lobby. But Leah had gone quiet on him again on the ride. What was wrong? Was she just scared? Worried about him? Worried about Rafael? Was she still worried about him not wanting to talk about Cara? But damn, this whole thing was so mixed up.
He motioned for Rick to step outside. Alone, he moved over to her and tilted her chin up. “You going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine.” But the look in her eyes said differently. “Make sure you stay safe.”
He leaned down to kiss her and felt her hesitation. Finally, she leaned into him. The kiss ended too soon. He brushed his finger over her lips, still wet from his kiss.
“I need to go.”
“Go.” She offered a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
Roberto made his way to the free coffee in the hotel lobby. He’d barely slept. His thoughts were torn between Sara and her hesitant “yes” that she’d go out with him, to the fact that he was finally going to come face-to-face with the guy who’d killed Anna and Bobby.
His past and possible future played tug-of-war with his heart. Amazingly, he didn’t feel the guilt anymore. It was time. He even got the feeling Anna would have wanted him to move forward. And in spite of how many times he assured himself that today would go okay, he couldn’t deny the unsteady feeling of fear.
He looked around for Brad. He’d knocked on his door as he walked out of his room, and the guy hadn’t answered. Dallas, Tyler, and Austin were already there. He grabbed some coffee.
“Where’s Brad?” Austin asked as Roberto stepped up.
“I knocked on his door. He didn’t answer. Probably overslept.” Roberto pulled out his phone and hit the man’s number.
Brad picked up on the fourth ring. “I found them.”
“What? Where are you?”
“I couldn’t sleep, and I remembered another place they could be. One of Sandy’s cousins owns a cabin up north of town. And damn if it ain’t right there by Austin’s place. They’re here.”
“Shit!” Roberto snapped. “We’re supposed to do this together.” He instantly recalled Brad’s hesitancy last night, but after Sara’s call he’d forgotten about it.
If Brad messed this up, or worse, got himself killed, it was on Roberto. All three of the men surrounding him frowned.
“I got this,” Brad said. “There’s a shed in the back of the property; I’m gonna stash the drugs and the gun there. I’ll let you know when to call the cops. You don’t have to get mixed up in this.”
“Damn it! Where exactly are you?”
Thirty minutes after Roberto pulled the address from Brad, Austin parked at his cabin. He led the way through the thick line of trees and underbrush. Oddly enough, the cabin where DeLuna and Cruz were holed up was less than a mile from Austin’s. He was glad he’d taken Leah to the hotel instead of having Rick come to the cabin. He didn’t want DeLuna anywhere near her.
As briars hung on to his jeans, thoughts of Leah clung to his heart. Was it the thought of DeLuna’s demise that had caused her to lapse into silent mode? “You sure you’re going the right way?” Roberto’s concern for Brad heightened his tone.
“It’s right up here.” Austin had spent the last year walking his property lines, debating building a house. No, not a house, a home. He hadn’t started, because building a home for just him felt wrong.
The clearing lay ahead. Knowing that DeLuna could have been here off and on over the last year left a bitter taste in his mouth. He couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever passed the asswipe on the road. His need for revenge peaked.
Then he thought of Leah and his resolve wavered. Not revenge. Justice.
Roberto tried to call Brad again. “It’s still cut off,” he muttered.
“If he gets hurt, it’s not your fault,” Austin said. “You didn’t ask him to do this.”
“I should have checked on him last night. He was antsy.” Roberto pulled at the ballistic vest Dallas has insisted everyone wear. Austin found the damn heavy piece of shit just as annoying, but he’d seen that look on Dallas’s face when he’d passed them around. If Austin had refused to wear one, they’d still be at his cabin arguing.
They walked the next few minutes in silence. The sound of their steps crunching the underbrush seemed loud. The clearing appeared about fifty feet away. In the far distance, a car engine rumbled by.
Pressing his finger to his lips, Austin looked back at the guys. Moving silently, they inched forward.
Austin peered out from behind a tree. Three men got out of a dark Chevy Malibu and went inside the cabin.
Dallas inched forward. “It’s time to call in the cops.”
“No,” Roberto said. “Not until I’m sure Brad’s not in the shed or they haven’t got him inside.”
“And how are we going to know if he won’t answer his damn phone?” Dallas asked.
“Like this.” Roberto took off through the line of trees toward the shed, th
e limp in his left leg only slightly noticeable.
“Fuck,” said Dallas.
“Yeah, fuck,” Austin muttered, and took off after him.
Austin made the shed about five seconds after Roberto, his weapon drawn.
They made eye contact. There were no windows in the shed. Roberto motioned that he planned to go around and enter the building.
The sound of voices interrupted the tense moment. Roberto and Austin plastered themselves to the back of the shed.
“How long are we gonna hang out here?” a nasal-sounding voice said from the other side of the shed.
“Until the Boss says we can go,” another answered. A slight accent hung to this man’s words.
Cigarette smoke snaked around the cabin. “You called Rivera yet?” the first guy asked.
“Boss wants him to sweat a while. Hell, let him stay alive a little longer.”
“You think he’s lying?” Nasal-voice asked.
“What I think doesn’t count. The Boss thinks he’s dirty.”
“Damn, I don’t wanna bury another one. I got blisters from Luke’s and Don’s graves.”
Roberto’s eyes widened. Austin sympathized. Nothing like hearing someone bitch about burying your ass before you’re dead.
The thud of footsteps drew closer.
Austin tightened his grip on his gun, ready for hell to break loose. He saw Dallas and Tyler shift back a few feet out of sight. He didn’t have a clue how many guys were in the cabin. Could they take them—without one of them getting hit?
He imagined Dallas had already alerted the officials. For once, Austin appreciated Dallas’s less-risk policy.
Time crawled by as the two men continued to shoot the shit. How long could they be here without being caught?
“Fuck! Did you see that?” Nasal-voice asked.
“What?”
Austin’s breath caught.
“I could swear I saw someone move between the trees.”
Austin’s gaze shot to where Dallas and Tyler had been. He didn’t see them.
“Where?”
“Straight back.”
Austin glanced toward the woods again. Sure as hell, he saw someone—a big someone. Toilet-plunger guy was going to get them killed.
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