Oh, yeah, he’d thought it might be Leah.
Candy walked toward the door, but instead of leaving, she grabbed her purse and came back.
She pulled out an envelope and dropped it on the coffee table, and a couple of pictures slid halfway out. “Do you know the saying, ‘If you love something, let it go’? Well, that’s what I did. Now I realize that the saying’s nothing but bullshit.” She paused. “Then again, I’m not sure if I wouldn’t have messed you up worse if I had come back. I’d get clean, swear to stay clean, and then something would happen and I was back at it.”
She didn’t cry, she said it matter-of-factly, as if a practiced speech. “But there wasn’t a day that I didn’t think about you. I know I wasn’t in your life, but you were always in mine. I had a lawyer friend call CPS and check on you every few months, and I’d find you. I took pictures.” She dropped back into the chair. “When you graduated high school… I watched you walk across that stage. I was so proud because I never did finish school. And when you graduated from the police academy, I was there, too. I know I didn’t deserve to be there. But, like I said, I thought you might deserve to know that I was.”
He didn’t pick up the pictures, just stared at the steam floating off the coffee. What the hell did she expect him to say?
“I’ve been sober and clean for ten years. It’s taken me this long to get the guts up to come see you.” She stood. “I hope you remember some of this. And if you ever need anything, my number is on the back of that envelope.”
She walked to the door, but turned. “Do you love her? The girl?”
He didn’t answer.
“If so, go tell her how sorry you are. She might not forgive you, but if you don’t at least try to make things right, there may come a time that you can’t forgive yourself.” With those parting words, she left.
The click of the door closing echoed in his chest. “Leah said the same thing about you,” he muttered. Right then, Spooky came out from under the sofa and bumped his head to Austin’s knee.
Tell her how sorry you are. An overwhelming need to talk to Leah swelled inside him. He reached for his phone. No, a call wouldn’t do. He had to look her in the eyes, so she’d know he meant it.
Sort of like his mom had done. Right in the eyes. He pushed that thought away.
He needed to make sure Leah knew how sorry he was that her brother died. Hell, maybe she was just grieving and he should have tried harder to explain… explain what?
The question hung in his mind.
Do you love her?
He loved Leah. He’d known it, deep inside he’d known it for a while, but he just hadn’t admitted it to himself. And he hadn’t told her. Standing up, he tried to remember where he’d put his keys, but when he stumbled, he accepted he couldn’t drive.
Turning, he found his phone again. This time he dialed.
Roberto raised his hand to knock, then checked his phone for the time. After nine. Was she already in bed? He should wait. Call her in the morning and set up a date.
Hell, he didn’t want to wait. He knocked.
He heard footsteps. Saw the peephole go dark. Heard her opening the door.
She didn’t say anything, just stared, eyes wide. “You’re alive,” she finally spit out.
He nodded and waited to see if she was going to invite him in. Waited to see if she meant what she’d said about giving him another chance.
“Brian’s asleep,” she said.
That didn’t sound good. “So it’s not a good time?”
She hesitated. “I thought you wanted to go out on a date next weekend?”
He wanted to touch her so bad his teeth ached. Wanted her to help remind him he was still alive, yet that didn’t seem to be what she wanted.
She looked back inside. “I… He’s young and impressionable and I don’t want… I have to be careful not to… I don’t won’t people walking in and out of his life.”
She didn’t trust him with her son. Damn that stung. He nodded. “Later.” He walked away, his chest aching.
“You look drunk,” Dallas told him as he and Tyler walked inside. When Austin called, they were still at the office coming to terms about DeLuna. Or maybe celebrating. But Austin couldn’t celebrate. It felt wrong.
“If I wasn’t drunk, I’d have driven myself.”
Tyler gave him a hard look. “You sure about this?”
“Positive. Let’s go. It’s gonna be midnight before we get there.” Not that it mattered. Their wives wouldn’t be back until the next day.
Dallas cocked a brow. “This can’t wait until morning?”
“Damn, I thought of all people, you two would understand. Besides, you two owe me.”
“We owe you?” Dallas asked.
“Yeah, your wife got me in the eyes with pepper spray and yours…” He looked at Tyler. “Zoe brought that damn ugly cat into my life and made me look like a scared little boy.”
“What do our wives have to do with this?” Dallas asked.
“I love Leah like you two love them.”
Tyler laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day you turned into a wuss for a girl.”
Dallas elbowed Tyler. “You and I are wusses.”
Austin frowned. “If loving her makes me a wuss, then call me a wuss. I’ll get it tattooed on my ass, too.”
Dallas and Tyler chatted all the way to Heartbroke. Austin sat in the back, his eyes closed, but awake. What the hell was he going to say to Leah? How was he going to convince her that they belonged together?
Every time he’d start working on his speech, he’d hear something Candy Adams had said. Why did she somehow seem connected with the whole Leah issue? Then he understood. She was the reason he’d worked so hard not to let Leah close. His mind turned to the photographs Candy had left. He hadn’t looked at them. He wouldn’t.
Or would he?
Shit! He was confused about Candy, but he wasn’t confused about Leah anymore. He knew what he needed to tell her: I love you.
Roberto made it all the way down the steps before he realized how stupid he was for feeling this way. The fact that she cared about her son was one of the reasons he’d fallen for her.
He turned around and started back up the stairs. He had to tell her he respected her. He had to tell her he’d wait until this weekend. Hell, he’d wait as long as it took.
His phone rang as he stopped at her door. He looked at the number and flipped open the phone.
“Please come back,” she said before he could answer.
“I’m already back. I have to see you, just for a few minutes.”
She swung open the door, tears in her eyes. “I’m just scared—”
“It’s okay,” he said, and smiled. “I respect you for putting him first. I lost my son, so I know how precious they are. And I’d never do anything to hurt you or him. And I still want the chance to prove that to you.”
She stepped out. He reached for her. She came up on her tiptoes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, needing her touch. When it ended, she took his hand and started in.
He stopped. “I don’t have to come inside.”
“It’s—”
“No, let’s do this the way you wanted it. Slow. I respect that.”
She blinked. “Is it over?”
He knew what she was asking. Was DeLuna dead? He nodded.
“I’m glad,” she said.
“I’m glad it’s behind me, but oddly enough that’s not what’s fixed me,” he said. “You did that.”
He leaned in one more time and kissed her. “I’ll see you next weekend.”
Almost midnight that evening, Leah lay in bed. Her head hurt from crying. Her heart hurt from missing Austin. She wasn’t a kitten’s whisker away from falling in love with him. It had already brushed up against her heart.
Why hadn’t she told him the truth? Told him she didn’t want to be his weekend bootie call? Why had she walked away without trying harder?
Several answers whispe
red back at her. Pride. Being in love was one thing; admitting to it when the other person wasn’t feeling it was another stupid thing altogether.
But wasn’t denying it even more stupid? Then there was the fear. Fear that saying it aloud would make it hurt worse. But it couldn’t hurt worse than now, could it?
Sitting up, she reached for her phone. What was she going to say to him?
If he cared about her, wouldn’t he have called? She hesitated, her finger hovering over his number.
Austin sent Dallas and Tyler packing. He stood in front of her door, his hand poised to knock, but fear held him back. What if she slammed the door in his face? What if she didn’t even answer? What if she told him she never wanted to see him again?
But what if she didn’t?
He had to do this.
His phone rang. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He went to cut it off and saw the number. His heart lurched.
“Hello?”
“Were you asleep?” Leah sounded nervous.
“No. Wide awake.”
Silence filled the line.
“Leah—”
“Austin—” They blurted out at the same time.
“You go first,” he said.
She hesitated. “We need to talk.”
“Wouldn’t you rather do that in person?” he asked.
“I don’t think it can wait.” She sounded disappointed.
“How long does it take to get to your door?”
“You’re at my door?” she asked. Was that a smile in her voice?
“Yup.”
He heard her scrambling out of bed. The bolts clicked and the door swung open.
She ran at him. He picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist. They kissed. Kissed like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Kissed like she hadn’t told him she didn’t want him.
As quickly as it began, she stopped kissing him. “I won’t be your weekend bootie call.”
“What?” Hands on her bottom, he held her close.
“I won’t be your mistress.”
“My mistress?”
“Yeah, I loved my mom, but I refuse to make the same mistakes she did.”
His heart wrapped around what she said. “That’s what you thought I wanted?”
She put her hand over his mouth. “Just listen. I’ll be your girlfriend, but I won’t be excluded from the drudgery parts of life. I want it all. The getting mad because you’re late from work, the day-to-day headaches. The arguing over who gets the remote and whether or not we use butter or margarine. I want to cook grilled cheeses with you.”
“Leah—”
She pressed her fingers tighter over his mouth. “I’m still talking.”
He bit her.
She frowned; he laughed.
“It’s my turn to talk. I love you.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“It scares the hell out of me, but I do. And you know that saying that if you love something, you let it go? Well, that’s a bunch of bullshit. I’m not letting you go. So how about building a house with me—on my property? How about being a part of the drudgery of my life?”
Her grin crinkled her eyes and her dimple winked at him. “I’d love to build a house with you. I love drudgery. And… I love you, too.”
He went back in for another kiss and stopped. “One thing, I’m ambivalent about sharing you with your boyfriend.”
“My what? I don’t have—”
“Your purple, battery-operated friend.”
She thumped him in the chest with her palm, and then they both laughed. And Austin had a feeling that with Leah in his life he was going to be doing a lot of that. Real, Austin thought. He’d found the real thing.
EPILOGUE
Five months later
“HOLD HIM A second!”
Leah turned around as LeAnn, Dallas’s sister-in-law, dropped five-month-old Denver into Austin’s arms.
“Wait,” Austin called out, but too late. LeAnn had already rushed inside the cabin to grab some more barbeque sauce for her husband, Tony, who was busy manning the grill. “Shit,” Austin muttered, and, walking as if he might drop the baby, he came inching toward her.
“Take this,” Austin said, sounding as if he was in pain. “I don’t know how to hold it.”
“He,” Leah said. “He’s not an it. And you’re doing good.”
“What if I break it.”
“He,” she repeated. “And you’re not going to break him. Besides, you said you wanted one someday, so you could probably use the practice.”
“I’ll practice on mine. If I break it, no one can get mad at me.”
Leah rolled her eyes. “I’d be mad at you. And hey… look, he’s smiling at you. He likes you.” She brushed a hand over the boy’s rosy cheeks.
Austin glanced at the baby. The baby chuckled. Austin’s pained expression softened. “He does like me, doesn’t he?” It was the same look he got when he discovered her cats didn’t actually hate him.
Leah leaned into him. “Yeah, you’re just so irresistible.”
“True,” Austin said, and grinned.
Leah watched as the man she loved pulled the baby a little closer to his chest. He studied the infant and then he inched closer to her. “He’s kind of funny looking, isn’t he?”
Leah elbowed him in the ribs. “No, he’s beautiful.”
“I’ll bet ours will be better looking,” he whispered. They had officially gotten engaged a month ago, and Leah had brought up the idea of having kids. While Austin had admitted to being nervous, he hadn’t shied away from the idea. As a matter of fact, he’d even brought up the subject several times.
The smell of grilling hamburgers flavored the air. Spring had sprung, and the sound of birds added to the chorus of laughter from the partygoers. Leah loved being surrounded by the people who had become her second family. All the friends and family of the Only in Texas gang. Another car drove up, Roberto and Sara.
“Thanks,” LeAnn said, and grabbed her baby from Austin’s arms.
“Anytime,” Austin said. “He likes me.”
“Yeah,” Roberto said, walking up. “He’s not old enough to have acquired taste yet.”
“Bullshit.” Austin grinned and then motioned to the cardboard tube in Roberto’s hand. “Is that what I think it is?”
Roberto had agreed to design their house.
“Yeah, this is just a rough draft.”
“Pee pee. Pee pee.” Brian, Sara’s son, chanted, and started tugging on Roberto’s jeans.
“Pee pee?” Roberto belted out. “Yes!” He swung the kid up in his arms.
“Can I see the plans?” Austin asked as Roberto started off.
“No, I want to show it to you,” Roberto said. He darted off toward the cabin but turned back and spoke over his shoulder. “We’re potty training him and this is the first time he’s asked to go.” He looked back at Brian. “That’s a big boy.”
Leah smiled at the devotion Roberto was showing in Brian’s life. Austin wrapped his arm around Leah. “Where’s Luis?”
“Helping Tony at the grill. Trying to prove his manliness.”
Austin grinned. “Yeah, well, when you can really cook, you don’t have to prove anything on the grill anymore.”
“You’re that confident in your maleness, are you?” Leah teased.
“I didn’t hear you complain this morning?” He wiggled his brows.
“Where did Roberto and Brian go?” Sara walked with Nikki at her side. Nikki, whose baby bulge was really beginning to show, and early. There was already talk that it might be twins. The doctor was going to do a sonogram next week.
“Brian told him he had to go pee,” Austin said.
“Really?” Sara squealed, and took off to the cabin to join her two men.
Austin shook his head. “The pissing thing must be a big deal.”
They laughed. Ellen walked over. “Did you want me to make some more iced tea?” she asked.
“Yeah, let
me help you. I think it’s time we got out the potato salad, too.” Leah gave Austin a quick kiss and then she, Nikki, and Ellen walked inside.
“Where’s the kids?” Leah asked as they walked into the cabin.
Ellen rolled her eyes. “In the back, watching Tony and Tyler trying to obliterate each other at badminton. Tony said he brought the game for the kids. I swear, men are nothing but big boys.” She grinned.
“Yeah, but I still love ’em,” Nikki said.
“Love what?” Zoe asked, walking in.
“Men,” Nikki said.
“Well, being that you’re knocked up, I’d say that’s pretty evident,” Zoe said.
“So call me a slut,” Nikki said.
They all laughed.
LeAnn walked in. “What’s so funny?”
“Just Nikki admitting to being a slut,” Leah said in a low voice as the bathroom door opened and Sara and Roberto followed Brian out, praising him for being such a big boy.
Roberto, noting the number of women in the room, took Brian’s hand. “Come on, big guy,” Roberto said, “this is a chick fest. Let’s go hang out with the men and tell everyone you peed in the potty.”
Grinning, Sara watched her two men walk out.
“He was a good catch,” Leah said.
“Yup,” Sara answered. “A keeper.”
“Hey.” Zoe lowered her voice. “Did Austin agree to see his mother?”
Leah looked to make sure no one was at the door. “Yeah. We’re having dinner with her next week. I don’t know what will happen, but the fact that he agreed to see her is a good sign.”
They stepped outside, carrying bowls of potato salad and chips in their hands.
Two more cars pulled up, Brad Hulk and his family and Evelyn and her bunch. As everyone ate, played badminton, and passed the day enjoying the spring weather, Leah realized how large her circle of friends and family had gotten.
“What are you thinking about?” Austin asked, stepping up.
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