Many women think about their first love. Do you have a “Dane” you wonder about now and then? What would you do if you ran into him?
Shey drops in on her sister-in-law Emily in the morning and smells vodka on her breath. What were your first thoughts about Emily and her picture-perfect life? What were your thoughts after finding out that she might have a drinking problem?
After Dane brings Bo home when he sees him walking alongside the road after a fight, Brick has a man-to-man chat with him telling him, “…go for the nose. Draw first blood. It’s the only way to win a fight.” Do you agree with this advice from his uncle? Who do you think gives the boys the best advice, Shey or the “men of the village”?
Shey is surrounded by men in her life—her brothers, her three sons, her ex-husband, and her ex-love Dane. What does this say about men and their place in a woman’s life? How do they all affect Shey’s world?
Do you agree with the saying that “blood is thicker than water”? Do you think Brick should have given up his friendship with Dane to support his brother Blue?
Cooper wants to be a bull rider and take lessons from Dane Kelly, three-time national bull-riding champ, but Shey is uncomfortable with that. Why? What outside influences are affecting her decision?
Shey finds out that Dane’s son died and that opens her eyes to understanding Dane better. How did this vital piece of information change their relationship?
Shey is home alone on Thanksgiving night and someone breaks into her house. She calls Dane and he takes her back to his house until she’s safe. What does Shey find out about Dane during her time with him after the break-in?
Hank doesn’t return to Texas after spending Thanksgiving with his dad; Shey’s soon-to-be-ex-husband is demanding that Cooper stop his bull-riding lessons with Dane; and Bo is being bullied at school by his classmates. This is almost more than Shey can handle. How does having a strong support system, whether it be family or friends, help people survive the toughest of times?
Dane brings gifts for Shey and her family to put under the Christmas tree. What gift does Shey share with Dane? How does he respond? What are your thoughts about the ending of the story?
How difficult was it for Shey to move back home? What are the issues and difficulties that can arise from returning to the place where you grew up? What are good reasons for going back home?
About the Author
I’m a mom and a writer, in that order. I love being a mother, too, particularly a mother of sons, as it’s made me look at men differently. I’ve always been drawn to strong men—the classic alpha hero—but the process of turning little boys into men is bittersweet and sometimes downright painful.
Men enter this world as babies—helpless infants, gorgeous infants—and mothers dote on their babies, kissing and cuddling and cradling. Our beloved babies become toddlers and the toddlers become boys and with each new phase and stage, our boys learn new life lessons. Hard life lessons. Lessons about what being male means and how real boys don’t cry and aren’t sensitive and don’t go running to Mommy for comfort.
I’ve watched the confusion in my boys’ faces as they’ve been told to “suck it up” and “take it” and “deal with it.” I’ve seen their expressions as they glance at me and then turn away, having finally internalized that they cannot continue to come to me. To become a man they must break away. Must shoulder life and responsibility and pain on their own.
And now I have a new baby, a third son, and we start the process all over again even as my oldest son enters his sophomore year of high school and my middle son begins middle school.
It’s a tricky thing being a mother, a series of balancing acts and risks and challenges, but it’s also the best and greatest thing I’ve ever done. Not every woman needs to be a mother. Not every woman should be a mother. But I wouldn’t be me without my boys.
My favorite author when I was growing up was Louisa May Alcott and my favorite Alcott novels were Little Men and Jo’s Boys—novels about raising boys. My mother said I was destined to be a mother of boys, and she was a right. My boys are my heart. They own it completely even as they wrestle and tussle their way into adulthood.
I realize now it was inevitable that I’d write a novel about raising boys, and I loved Shey’s busy, complicated life made even more challenging due to her three sons, three brothers, and first love, Dane Kelly. But strong Texas men aren’t fictional. My grandfather was a Texan, a cattleman, and a very handsome man. He died the year I was born but his portrait dominated my grandmother’s family room as did the paintings of the ranches he once owned. After he died my grandmother sold off the cattle and two of the three ranches but kept his favorite, the one closest to where we all lived. Growing up, I spent every Easter on that ranch, and during Easter week we rode horses, played in the corral, picked wildflowers, and generally ran wild.
I love that my family raised me to love the land and fields and big sky. I love that they gave me confidence and taught me courage and pushed me to succeed. And maybe that’s what’s important. Not that we have boys or girls, but that we make sure we raise confident children who aren’t afraid to take risks and are encouraged to dream.
5 Ways to Go Country
Swap the designer jeans for good old-fashioned Wranglers.
Kick off the high heels and slip on a pair of cowboy boots.
Trade the four-door for a pickup truck.
Dine on ribs and beef brisket at a real barbecue joint.
Spend the night two-stepping at a honky tonk bar.
She’s Gone Country Page 32