“You’re probably right. The only secretive way to get them is in the men’s room at the Spirits and Spurs, and we know that machine is completely unreliable.”
“Do you have the three-to-eleven shift tomorrow night?”
“Yes.”
“Think I’ll have to come by for a beer…and a few condoms from the machine.”
She sighed. “Nice idea, but if you stay after closing, we might as well put up a billboard announcing that we’re shacking up.”
“Yeah, you’re right. And ultimately, you’re the one who’ll have to deal with the gossip after I leave.”
He was right, but the more Caro thought about it, the more she was ready to stand up for her right to have sex with Logan if she wanted to. She was a big girl. “You know what? I don’t care about gossip.”
“You don’t?”
“People may suspect something’s going on, anyway. Let’s get it out in the open. I’ll give Josie the courtesy of telling her tonight. I’ll let her know that you and I want to spend quality time with each other, and neither of us is looking at it as a long-term commitment. I know she worries that I’ll get hurt.”
His arm tightened around her. “So do I.”
“You can only hurt me if I allow it.” She was glad they were having this conversation when she wasn’t looking at him. She’d have an easier time convincing him—and herself—if they weren’t face-to-face.
“And you won’t allow it.”
“No. I’ll let Josie know I’m going into this with my eyes wide open, and that I know you’re destined for greater things than a quiet existence in Shoshone, Wyoming. She should be fine with it.”
“I hope so.”
“I’ll make sure she is. The bottom line is, we can do whatever we want, as long as I don’t ignore my obligations to Josie or Grandma Bonnie.”
“Are you going to Jackson in the morning?”
“Yes—I always do.”
“Let me go with you.”
“Why would you want to?” Caro remembered how she’d thought about taking him so he could appreciate his own good fortune in comparison. She was a little surprised that he would suggest it himself, though.
“You’re helping me with my problems and I’d like to help you with yours. Maybe if I met your grandmother, I’d have some ideas about how she might adjust to her new circumstances.” He paused. “She’s had the rug pulled out from under her, and I know what that feels like.”
“True. I’d love for you to go.” Caro hesitated. “If you come with me, would you be willing to tell everyone who you are? The residents would be so excited, especially some of the men.”
His breath was warm on her shoulder. “I can do that. For you.”
“You’d rather not, though.”
“No, it’s fine. If it would make those folks happy, then it’s a small thing. The more I’m with you, the less the end of my career matters to me.”
She squeezed his arm. “Good. Maybe the pain is fading a little bit.”
“It fades totally when I’m deep inside you.”
She smiled. “Don’t be saying such things when we’re out of condoms.”
“You’re right. Sorry about that.” He released her and sat up. “We should get back. It won’t be long until dinner.”
Immediately she missed the warmth and closeness of lying on the blankets with him. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable bed, but she’d cherish their time here. She sat up, too, and combed her hair back from her face. “I must look like a mess.”
“Nope, you look terrific. But your lipstick is all gone.”
“I brought more.”
“Smart girl.”
“Thanks. I try to plan ahead.” Feeling slightly shy, she tucked the tablecloth around her as she stood. Logan didn’t seem to have any problem walking around naked, but then he’d spent the past fifteen or twenty years in communal showers with the rest of the jocks.
He began pulling on his clothes. “I think Josie and Jack are supposed to be at dinner, so that will give you a chance to inform Josie about us, if you still want to.”
“I do.” Caro lifted her chin. Let the gossip begin. Logan needed her, and she needed him, at least for the short term. He would be here only a little while, and she hated the idea of wasting that precious time because she was worried about wagging tongues.
“You’re absolutely sure you’re okay with being open about our arrangement?”
“This kind of secret won’t last long in Shoshone, so it’s either be open or stop. I choose option A.”
He grinned. “I like a woman who has her priorities straight.” He fastened the snaps on his shirt.
“Can’t help it. You’re pretty potent, Carswell.”
“I am? That’s nice to hear.” He tucked in his shirttail.
“It’s true. I’ve never let any man have sex with me up against a tree.”
“For the record, I’ve never had sex with a woman up against a tree, either.” He buckled his belt and looked up. “It’s a total first for me.” “Really?”
His grin was quick. “Really. And I’d appreciate it if you’d put some clothes on while I saddle up the horses. Otherwise I’m liable to suggest we find ways to have fun without a condom. I can think of a couple already.”
So could she, and her body began to hum. “You’re going to saddle up the horses?”
“Sure. Blanket, saddle, cinch. How tough can it be?”
She could just let him do it and find out for himself. If Destiny puffed out his belly when the cinch was being tightened, Logan would end up on the ground when the cinch became loose and the saddle rotated.
But she wasn’t the type of person to let that happen to any greenhorn, let alone someone who already had a bad knee and a sore behind. “Once you tighten the cinch, wait until the horse lets out a breath, and tighten it some more. Put your knee against their ribs if you have to.” She caught herself before saying use your good knee. “They’ll try to fool you by swelling up with air.”
He glanced at her as he adjusted his hat. “Thanks for the tip.”
“You’re welcome.” She was struck by how much more comfortable Logan looked in those clothes than he had when she’d first met him. He even wore his hat with more confidence. “You’re liable to turn into a cowboy yet.” She waited for him to contradict her.
Instead he smiled. “Funny, but I think I could, at that. I survived falling off a horse, which has to be one of the tests.”
“It is. And you climbed right back on, like any true cowboy would.”
“Well, I was motivated to get into the woods ASAP.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed. “But I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like this riding business. Too bad my home owners association won’t let me keep a horse in my condo.”
“It’s not exactly cowboy country back there, is it?”
“Nope. Now get dressed. I’m going to show how proficient I am at saddling these two hay burners.”
“Now you’re even talking like a cowboy.” She watched him work as she pulled on her clothes, and his movements weren’t as smooth as a seasoned rider’s would be, but he got the job done, making sure the cinches were tight around each of the horse’s bellies.
When he finished, he turned to her with a boyish grin of pride. “How’s that?”
“Excellent.” She finger-combed her hair and dug in her pocket for her lipstick.
“Hang on. Don’t do that yet.” He walked over and drew her into his arms. “One more for the road.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“But you know we can’t have sex.”
“Yes. So what?”
She gazed up at him and wondered if he realized the significance of that. A kiss that was part of foreplay was purely sexual. A kiss that wasn’t foreplay was… She didn’t want to put a name on what it was.
“Don’t you want me to kiss you?”
“I do.” And she didn’t want to put a name on th
e yearning in her heart, either.
“Good, because I intend to.” But when he leaned down to kiss her, his hat bumped against hers. “Now that’s inconvenient.”
“There’s a trick to it.” Her heart melted a little more the longer she was in his arms. “Tilt your hat back a little. Then I’ll lean one way and you lean the opposite way. It’s how a cowboy kisses a cowgirl.”
“Is that so?” Angling his head, he followed her directions. When his lips almost touched hers, he paused. “Any more kissing tips I need to know?”
“No.” Emotion flowed through her, warm and sweet. “You’ve mastered the rest of it.”
“Not even close. But fortunately, I love to practice.” His mouth found hers.
His kiss was familiar now, and she welcomed the velvet heat of it with heat of her own. Passion was there, as it had been from the beginning, but…this kiss was about more than passion. It brimmed over with joy and with caring and… She blocked the next word that came to her in a soft, seductive whisper.
But the word, and the feelings it brought with it, crept around the edges of her barricade. She couldn’t ignore the way he was kissing her, because it was different from the other times. Whether he’d admitted it to himself or not, he cherished her.
And that could blossom into something neither of them were prepared to handle. Her heart aching, she pulled back. “If we keep this up, we’ll be up against a tree in no time,” she said.
It was an excuse. She wasn’t worried that he’d back her against a tree and rip her clothes off. He hadn’t telegraphed that kind of wild urgency this time. She was worried about something far more significant.
He cleared his throat. “Thanks for teaching me how to kiss like a cowboy.”
“You’re welcome.” She brushed a piece of grass off her sleeve. “You handled it like a pro.”
“I’m not so sure. I think we need to try it again.”
She looked into his eyes. “Better not.” She hoped he’d get the message without having to discuss it. Once they gave voice to the possibility that they might be falling for each other, it would become the elephant in the room and ruin whatever time they had left.
“Okay.” He sounded reluctant, but he released her. “You’re the boss.”
She glanced up through the trees at the angle of the sun. “Besides, it’s getting late.”
“We didn’t eat Mary Lou’s snacks. I don’t know her well, but I don’t think she’d take kindly to us rejecting her food.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. Let’s look.” He walked over to Destiny and opened the saddlebag. “Six cookies. Four chocolate chip and two oatmeal and raisin. Plus a couple small bottles of water. She probably won’t care if we drink the water or not. She didn’t bottle it personally.”
Caro laughed. “Chocolate chip is my favorite.”
“Mine, too.”
“So let’s eat those and leave the oatmeal cookies for the birds.”
“All right.” He brought the plastic Ziploc bag over to where she stood under the shade of a tree. “Bon appétit.”
She smiled at him as she took a cookie from the open bag he extended to her. “Here’s another tip. Cowboys don’t speak French.”
“I don’t speak it, either.” He bit into a cookie. “That’s about all I know, but I’ll strike it from my vocabulary while I’m home on the range where the deer and the antelope play.”
“Wise plan.”
“So what would a cowboy say?”
“Oh, maybe ‘tuck in’ or if they were feeling long-winded, they might say ‘let’s tie on the old feedbag.’”
Logan gazed at her. “Chocolate chip.” He touched the corner of his mouth.
“Here?” She wiped her face with the tip of her finger.
His eyes darkened. “No, here.” He reached over and brushed the crumb away. “And here.” He touched the other side of her mouth. “And…God, Caro…” Dropping the bag of cookies to the ground, he swept her back into his arms.
Both their hats fell off as his lips came down on hers with no thought given to angle or technique. His mouth was hungry, the thrust of his tongue possessive. He kissed her until they were both breathless.
Then he released her and stood back, his chest heaving. “Sorry, but I needed that. You’re the most adorable chocolate chip cookie eater I’ve ever met.”
She drew a shaky breath. “Thank you. That’s not something a girl hears every day.”
“I suppose not. But I actually want to thank you—for being here, for generously giving of yourself with no thought of getting anything in return.”
He was falling for her. And she was falling for him, too, damn it. She’d been so involved with her grandmother that she’d forgotten what it was like to be desired by a wonderful man. He inspired a vision of a fuller, more satisfying life.
But he wasn’t the man to give her that life. She attempted to get them both back on safer ground. “I get something in return. Orgasms.”
“Yes, but—”
“Logan, we really need to start back. If you’ll scatter the oatmeal cookies around for the birds, I’ll put on my lipstick.”
He gazed at her for a moment longer. “Yeah, it’s getting late.”
Too late, she thought as she somehow managed to put on lipstick with a hand that shook. She’d been determined to keep an emotional distance between them, but it was too late.
10
AS THEY RODE BACK TO the ranch, Logan felt as if a hive of bees had taken up residence in his brain. In his baseball career he’d always been able to think strategically, both on the field and when planning various career moves. But ever since learning that his playing days were over, he’d lost that ability, or so it seemed.
He certainly wasn’t being sensible about Caro. She was supposed to be a diversion, a safe haven for a few nights while he tried to figure out what to do with his life. Good sex— and she certainly represented that—had always been a way for him to relax and forget his problems. Good sex had never become the problem.
Okay, he admitted to himself, it wasn’t the good sex that was a problem. It was the woman herself. He liked her way too much, and he wasn’t in a position to like somebody too much, especially a woman who belonged, in all senses of the word, in Wyoming.
Even if he asked her to go back to Chicago with him, she wouldn’t. Her grandmother was here, and so were her roots. She liked living in Shoshone, liked her job, liked to ride horses and spend time outdoors. He could tell that from the way she’d perked up the minute they’d headed down the trail.
So what the hell was he doing, courting her? It was an old-fashioned word, but it fit his behavior. He found himself complimenting her and kissing her for no reason. Actually, he did know the reason, and he should be worried about it.
The sad part was, he couldn’t seem to help himself, couldn’t seem to control his emotions when it came to Caro. He’d always been a very self-disciplined person with his eye on the prize. Now there was no prize to keep an eye on— except her, and she was completely out of reach.
Well, unless he wanted to go into the furniture business in Shoshone. Oh, yeah, that sounded like a barrel of fun. See what former Cubs star Logan Carswell is doing now? He’s building furniture and selling it out of a little storefront in Shoshone, Wyoming. Pitiful.
But he’d be near Caro, and that almost made him consider it. Almost. But he couldn’t imagine how a little furniture business would be enough for him. So he sold a few pieces and kept busy building more. So what? It didn’t compare to making the game-winning out against the hometown rival Chicago White Sox.
His life used to matter, and now it didn’t. Oh, sure, it mattered to his family and his friends, but not to the world in general. He used to thrill people with a good performance behind the plate. But now he didn’t know what his role was supposed to be, and that was no time to fall head over heels for a woman. He couldn’t trust his own feelings.
By the time they arrived at th
e barn, Emmett and the hands were busy feeding the horses. Both Caro and Logan offered to help unsaddle and brush Destiny and Cici, but Emmett seemed to think they were both needed up at the house.
“Big doings,” Emmett said. “Sarah has a visitor, a guy who plans to buy some horses. He’s also a baseball fan, so he’s eager to meet you. Sarah asked me to send you both up to the house when you arrived.”
Logan groaned inwardly. Just what he didn’t need, some rabid fan who would want to talk about the joys of baseball. He could handle the old folks at the assisted living facility, maybe because their glory days were behind them, too. Other than that, though, he had no interest in reliving old plays.
But he knew Sarah would be happy about the prospect of more sales. Alex’s PR must be paying off, and Logan would be an ungracious guest if he didn’t try to humor this man. So he’d put on his best manners and be pleasant.
“I need to at least wash up a little,” Caro said.
Emmett nodded. “Will the sink at the end of the barn do?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll come with you.” Logan walked beside her, down the aisle between stalls where horses were munching away. It was a cozy atmosphere and he wished he could stay here instead of going up to the main house to socialize with whoever this man was.
As Caro washed her hands at the sink, she glanced at Logan. “You don’t look especially happy.”
“It’s okay. You know I don’t relish talking baseball, but if Sarah needs me to because this is a good customer, I’ll do it.”
“You’re a good guy, Logan.” Caro moved away from the sink to give him room while she dried her hands on a paper towel.
“Not really.” He lowered his voice. “A good guy wouldn’t be trying to find more ways to get into your bed.”
“I didn’t say you were a saint.” She moved closer to him. “But you’re good…and good in bed.”
He chuckled. “You’re not so bad yourself, Miss Davis.”
One of the hands walked by, so they didn’t say anything more until they were on their way up to the house. Sure enough, a shiny black king cab sat in the drive behind Caro’s old pickup.
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