by K. M. Waller
I glanced at Gérard still pouring champagne in Mrs. Spudson’s glass. At some point Doc would be on his way back for alcohol poisoning if she didn’t slow down.
“And you?” I pointed to beer guy.
He took a long swig of his beer. “Name’s Big Joe. That waiter fella brought me my invitation at the State Fair where I set up my vendor truck.”
Marlin slapped him on the back and he almost fell into the table. “One of those ironic names, huh?”
He eyed her and grunted, his expression clear in that he thought she’d insulted him.
“Nice to meet you Joe, Deidre, and Terry.” I cleared my throat. “Ricky Lynn, who’s your friend?”
“Noneya.” She rolled her eyes when I didn’t respond to her bait. “As in none of ya business.”
Marlin half stood, but I grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her back down. “No more fighting. We have enough problems.”
“Nothing a good smack wouldn’t solve,” she grumbled. “That’s what Memaw used to say.”
A guard searching the truck yelled Craig’s name.
Marlin leaned into me to see around Deidre’s head. “Did you see which truck he came from, lil’ momma?”
The guard approached Craig halfway between the tents and the trucks. He handed him a yellow box.
Terry patted his pockets. “Can you see what that is? I can’t see that far without my glasses.”
“I can tell it’s a yellow box,” I answered.
Terry nudged Deidre, and they exchanged glances. Their expressions said “uh oh” without actually saying it. I’d seen my kids do it plenty of times when I busted them.
“What’s in the yellow box?” I asked.
Deidre turned her head back toward us and ducked her head. “Rats and Mice Pellets.”
Terry swallowed hard. “Poison.”
8
“Rat poison?” I asked Deidre and Terry to make sure I understood. “Is that from your truck?”
Terry wiped a hand across his face. “We sprinkle the pellets around the smoker when we travel to keep the mice from crawling into the drum to eat the drippings. If you don’t keep ‘em out you could accidently set the rascals on fire. Have you ever smelled smoked rat? It’s nasty.”
I recoiled at the image of setting a poor mouse on fire.
“I use the same stuff for my food truck,” Big Joe added. “You’re not supposed to rodent proof that way, but sometimes it’s easier to kill them than keep them out. They say to put steel wool in your tailpipe, but I ain’t one to be bossed around when it comes to de-ratting my truck.”
Marlin turned to Big Joe. “You have that poison on your truck right now?”
He raised his hands as if to ward off any accusations. “In a safe container, mind you. Not sitting out near the barbeque.”
“Ours was in a container too,” Terry said. “In the toolbox on the back of the truck. Nowhere near the food.”
“What about you, Ricky Lynn?” I asked. “Do you and the pirate have any deadly substances on your truck?”
The pirate grunted and adjusted his eye patch. Ricky Lynn sniffed and turned her back to us.
I bit my bottom lip hard.
“Just one smack,” Marlin whispered.
“No,” I said, hoping the firmness of my tone put an end to the slap her cousin debate. As much as the silent treatment irritated me, if the earlier fights didn’t slap sense into Ricky Lynn, nothing would.
Craig didn’t approach us with the find and the guards kept searching the other trucks.
Deidre blinked hard and leaned toward me. “Go see what’s going on, deputy.”
I wrung my hands together. I didn’t see what kind, if any, contribution I could be to diffusing the madness other than trying to keep everyone at the tables calm. The band had packed up their instruments and was in the process of loading their van. Mr. Spudson stood in front of the tent with Karen who dabbed beneath her eyes with a napkin.
Craig’s cell phone rang, and he waved for me to come over. “It’s your daughter.”
I pulled the phone to my ear. “Alicia, sweetie. Are you and Jackie okay?”
“We’re fine, Momma.”
“I’m a little upset you stole my phone from my bag. Just so you know, you’re grounded when I get home. Put Jackie on the phone.”
“He’s at a friend’s house right now.”
“What friend?” When she didn’t answer I asked again in a firmer tone. “What friend, Alicia?”
“Luke or Lucas or something like that. He only has the one, doesn’t he?”
“You mean, Levi?” Good. I’d known his parents forever and could trust he’d be in good hands. At least that’s one thing I had under control.
Alicia sighed into the phone, long and dramatic. “Momma, I gotta go.”
“Wait…” I needed to explain my situation without getting kicked to the back gates.
“Love you, Momma. Bye.”
I pulled the cell phone away from my head and Craig’s lock screen came up. A picture of a long-horned steer stared back at me.
Teenagers.
I handed Craig his phone, and he slipped it into the front pocket on his shirt.
“What did you find on the trucks?” The time for being a bystander in the craziness had long gone. I wanted answers to my questions and solutions on how to get back home.
He pulled off his reflective sunglasses and rubbed his eyes a few times. “Two trucks have rat poison and one truck has a half-full jug of anti-freeze.”
“Our truck?”
“Nothing yet other than an urn. And we’ve taken Ms. Marlin’s pistol up to the big house.” He put the sunglasses back on. “You found out anything from your little circle of friends gathering?”
“Nothing useful and it’s getting dark. How long do you think this will go on?” I placed my hands on my hips and lifted my chin. “Your hostages will get hungry and need a place to sleep.”
A truck rumbled up the drive.
“I need you to continue keeping them calm until the screening people get their sample.”
I wanted to stomp my foot and throw a fit but I had a feeling the act would only make Craig laugh. “Why did you deputize me?”
“That group needs a leader. And like I said before you’re not a suspect. Neither is Ms. Marlin since we didn’t find anything on her truck.” His mustache twitched. “Which out of the two of you would you rather be in charge?”
He didn’t wait for my answer as he waltzed off to meet Doc and the representative from the testing company halfway across the backyard.
I didn’t want to be a leader. I wanted to be home with my children, my feet up in my favorite chair watching a soapy drama. When the men and Mr. Spudson entered the tent again, Karen made her way over to our group.
Had anyone talked to Karen? As the last one to see the other judge alive, she should be more than a wealth of knowledge as to how the death unfolded.
I intercepted her before she made it to the picnic tables with the rest of the group. “How are you feeling, Karen?”
She placed a hand on her chest and toyed with a strand of pearls around her neck. “I’m lucky to be alive, I guess.”
Her voice wavered at the end of her sentence, so I grabbed her free hand and patted it. People had done that to me a lot when I’d received the news about my Jackson. Karen had seen a man die and that image would stay with her for some time. Even longer if they’d been friends outside of the competition.
I guided her away from the main tent and over toward the pool. Blessed would be an equally good way to describe her not being affected by the so-called poisoned food. “Did you taste all the contestants’ barbeque?”
She twisted the pearls tight around a finger. “A piece of everything on my plate but I didn’t eat half as much as Charles. He cleaned his platter and then some. We would have needed more for when Mr. Spudson and his wife came in for judging.”
We sat down on two pool chairs and faced each other.
&nb
sp; I kept a line of sight on the other contestants in case Marlin started another fight with Ricky Lynn. When I was sure the group was under control, I crossed my arms and gave Karen my full attention. “How did you and Charles get picked to be judges?”
“I’ve worked for Mr. Spudson for years as an official taster for his barbeque restaurants. I started out hosting years ago when he was still married to the first Mrs. Spudson, bless her. That one over there was just a waitress.” Karen cut her eyes toward the current Mrs. Spudson and clicked her tongue. “I’m not sure about Charles though. We’ve only met today. Before the waiters brought in the food, he mentioned something about being an eating champion. Mr. Spudson likes to surround himself with eccentric people.”
“Charles didn’t mention any food allergies? Did any of the food taste funny or smell off?” I wasn’t sure how anti-freeze would smell but I’d always heard it had a sweet taste and had been used to hurt stray animals. I couldn’t even guess how rat pellets would taste or smell if added to food.
She closed her eyes as if it would help her thinking process. “I don’t remember much that he said about anything other than the eating champion thing. He kept checking his phone. And if the food had smelled or tasted funny at all, I would have immediately disqualified it and put it aside.”
“Wait… you and Charles have phones? Where is yours now?” Please. Please. Please. I’d call the county sheriff and let the chips fall where they may with being put out the front gates.
“Craig asked me for it so you and the others wouldn’t make any phone calls until he figured out what is going on.” She puckered her lips.
My shoulders slumped, and I twisted around to stretch my legs on the chair. “Has anything like this ever happened before at one of Mr. Spudson’s events?”
“He’s held this secret contest once a year for the past five years. He and I always judge, plus a random person to keep it interesting. Usually Mrs. Spudson doesn’t stay in the state long enough to help out. I’m surprised she’s here this weekend.” She chewed on the edge of her fingernail and stared at the fountain spitting water into the middle of the pool. “And there’s always someone trying to bribe us for a win but no one has ever died before.”
“Why even hold a contest like this? What’s the point? I’m sure a man like Mr. Spudson can buy multiple recipes and discard them without a second thought. And for a lot less than a million dollars.” I asked the surrounding air the questions more than Karen. I hated to keep using the word crazy in connection with the billionaire but there didn’t seem to be any other way to describe him. He lived in his own little world where he could buy and sell and step on people as he pleased.
“Something’s happening, Beanie!” Marlin’s voice carried across the backyard to where Karen and I sat.
I swiveled off of the lounge chair and fast-walked toward Marlin. Craig escorted the man in a lab coat back to Doc’s truck. Doc followed with clear plastic bags full of barbecue and the plates they’d been placed on.
Marlin clutched my arm and leaned close. “Maybe this will all be over soon. Then we can get our fat check and head back to Georgia.”
“This can’t be about money,” I reminded her.
“I keep hearing you say that, but a good portion of that money will go to our church. New choir robes and a piano that’s always on key.”
“It’d still feel like it’s blood money.”
Mr. Spudson walked out of the tent and snapped his fingers at his wife, motioning her forward. She stumbled out of her throne chair and the always ready waiter steadied her with an arm around her waist. When he was sure she wouldn’t fall over, he let her walk on her own to her husband, but his eyes never left her backside. To be fair, there probably weren’t too many men that could resist the attributes the former beauty queen showed off.
Mr. Spudson held out his arm, and she latched on. Then they walked toward the house as if there hadn’t been a dead body ten feet behind them. Karen joined them and the three continued into the mansion.
Craig tapped the side of Doc’s truck and waved them off. The truck barreled down the drive to the gate of freedom.
The remainder of the sun’s rays dipped beyond the horizon and the first mosquito of the night buzzed around my ear. I’d always heard the buzzing ones weren’t the biters, but that didn’t stop me from slapping at it.
“What do you think they’ll do with us now?” asked Deidre.
“I’m going to find out.” I tugged my arm away from Marlin and stomped toward Craig. I met him halfway between the trucks and the royal tent. “What’s happening now?”
“They’ll test the food at the facility.”
“How long will that take?”
“The tech said anywhere from twelve to twenty hours.”
I dug my toe of the borrowed boot into the soft grass. “What are we supposed to do in the meantime? The bugs and snakes and scorpions will be out soon.”
His mustache twitched. “Scorpions, huh?”
“Whatever deadly things you have in Texas that will come towards all the lights.”
“The trucks are still off limits, so Mr. Spudson will open the pool house for the contestants.”
“Everyone else gets to go home? The band, the waiters, even Karen? She could be a suspect as much as the contestants.” I didn’t mean to throw poor Karen under the bus, but she was the last person to see Charles alive and had access to his food. Not to mention, I rationalized the more I pointed out the craziness of the situation then at some point someone would see it the way I did.
“The band is leaving. The two waiters who handled the food and Ms. Karen will stay in the big house with security.”
I narrowed my eyes and put my fake deputy status to work. “Your investigation is missing something pretty big here, Craig.”
“What’s that?”
“Motive.” I gestured to the contestants. “Everyone has means and plenty of opportunity, but not a single one of these people have a motive for wanting to kill a man they’ve never met.”
“That you know of...” He tipped his hat. “I’ll let you drop the news about the pool house. Remind your group that they will make no phone calls and they’ll be under heavily armed security.”
I kicked the ground. Blessed be, we were in for a long night.
9
I approached the contestant group and even Ricky Lynn and the pirate left their seats to join us for the update. I gestured over my shoulder. “We’re sleeping in the pool house. No phones. Lots of mean, scary guards with rifles.”
“You mean we ain’t good enough for the mansion?” Ricky Lynn stuck her hands on her hips. “There are more than enough rooms in there for all of us.”
“I need a big bed,” Terry said.
“I’m hungry,” Big Joe added.
I tucked my lips in and bit on them, in the process giving up on any further attempts to explain the seriousness of our hostage situation. Essentially, Mr. Spudson believed one of them to be a poisoner. And they didn’t care.
If nothing else, it sharpened my resolve that none of the people standing in front of me had intentionally murdered Charles. Not a single person other than me had the urgency to get off of Mr. Spudson’s property.
I rubbed the middle of my forehead. I couldn’t afford another migraine. There was no telling where I’d wake up. “The technician from the labs won’t have results until the morning. Let’s get situated in the pool house first, and then I’ll work with Craig to get us food and water for the evening.”
Marlin wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “You make an amazing leader, you know that, sweetums?”
Amazing leader or not, I figured I could get a few hours’ sleep while waiting out this ordeal. In the morning, things wouldn’t look so bleak I couldn’t think straight.
An “aarroo” broke into my thoughts. I yelled out to the guard in front of our truck. “Bring Austin to us, please. With his kibble and some water.”
“I’m allergic to dogs,” Ricky Lynn s
aid.
I didn’t care if she was. I hoped she sneezed all night long. “He stays with us in the pool house. You can sleep outside.”
I trudged forward with the group and noted that one of the armed guards followed close on our heels.
The pool house was a three-bedroom stucco house with two full bathrooms. The interior decorating reminded me of pictures I’d seen in Homes & Gardens magazine the last time I’d visited the dentist. Gorgeous and untouched.
The living and dining room combo had furniture that I’d swore had never been used. The kitchen counters and the appliances all sparkled.
Big Joe went straight to the refrigerator and let out a little whoop. “There’s beer.”
I walked toward the first bedroom but Ricky Lynn shoved me aside near the door. “Mine.” The pirate grunted and joined her in the room. Then they shut the door in my face. Classy.
Deidre and Terry sat on the couch and placed their feet on the coffee table. They huddled together in what I recognized as a protective cuddle. They hadn’t mentioned children. Perhaps they were older and didn’t need a constant check in like mine.
“I gotta go, lil’momma. My bladder is crying mercy.” Marlin shot into the bathroom and slammed the door hard. I could hear her sigh of relief from the other side. “Whoowee.”
This wasn’t so bad. If not so bad meant sharing a house with five strangers who were accused of murder.
Big Joe lifted his beer. “Want one?”
“I’ve made a vow to never drink again.” I joined him in the kitchen and found the fridge fully stocked with water and sodas. Now all we needed was food.
“Ah, you’re one of those,” he said, his expression saying he was a little put out I didn’t accept his offer of a drink. He leaned against the counter and lifted his drink to his lips.
I grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at the kitchen table. “One of those what?”
“Non-drinking holy rollers.”