“I’m giving out candy at Cam’s place while he takes Tawny trick or treating.”
“You two are hanging out a lot.”
“We’ve been spending time together.”
Blue felt that familiar heat erupt inside her. Jesus, she was like a walking volcano just thinking about Cameron Booker. He’d shown her things and taken her places she’d never known existed. To think, for a time, Blue had thought she was frigid or had lady parts that didn’t work properly. She blushed and looked away. They worked all right, and right now, they were wide awake.
“You guys serious?”
Blue glanced up sharply. “What do you mean by serious?”
Poppy made a face. “I mean serious. Like do you have a drawer for your underwear at his place? A pink toothbrush beside his blue one. Do you have tampons in the cupboard?”
“No.”
“No to the underwear drawer? Or no to the toothbrush?”
“No to both.”
The truth was she hadn’t spent the entire night at Cam’s since that first time. She told him it was because of Tawny—that it was inappropriate because she was so young—which a month ago had been true. Then she’d told him she couldn’t leave Giselle alone for hours and hours. That the cat would retaliate and leave presents for her to find—the kind a person didn’t like finding. And just last week, she’d told him she needed to be home because she had an early delivery. She’d been running out of excuses and though it was lame, it was all she had.
Cam knew it was bullshit, but he didn’t call her on it. He gave her the space she needed to contemplate the why of it, and the plain truth was, she had no idea why she couldn’t jump in with both feet.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” she said slowly. “For that kind of commitment.”
“For underwear-drawer commitment? Or toothbrush commitment.”
“Both.”
“What does Cam want?” Poppy asked.
“We’ve never really talked about it.”
“Why not?”
“Because whenever he brings it up, I change the subject.”
“Why?” Poppy wasn’t giving up. “You guys seem so right together. What are you so scared of?”
“There are things he doesn’t know about me. Things I’ve never shared with anyone, and I…” It hit her then. She was the problem. She was avoiding because she was too afraid of opening up.
“I think I’m afraid that if he knows the real me, he might run for the hills because the real me is pretty screwed up.”
Poppy moved from behind the counter and gave her a big hug. “We’re all screwed up. We’re all missing pieces of us. Pieces that life and circumstance and hurt and pain have destroyed. The trick is grabbing hold of that one thing, that one person, who can make you whole again. You need to be smart enough not to let go. And you need to do everything in your power to hold on.” She stepped back, her voice soft, the look in her eyes faraway. “Sometimes that’s not even enough. So be grateful and hold close the people who make your life worth living. But more importantly, face your fears. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.”
Poppy cleared her throat and attempted a smile. “And that is my two cents worth of advice for the day.” She nodded toward the door. “You should go, or you’ll be late.”
“Are you okay?” Blue asked carefully. Something had just changed, and she had no idea what that something was.
“I held on once, so tight that it left scars.” The doorbell tinkled just then, and Poppy smiled, a sad, tremulous thing. “I’ll tell you my story one day, and you can tell me yours.” She exhaled and squared her shoulders. “But right now, you should go. Don’t keep that delectable man and his little girl waiting.”
Poppy greeted her customers, and, dismissed, Blue grabbed her purse and slipped her coat on over her genie costume. She had questions, but she knew that now wasn’t the time. Instead, she said goodbye and headed for the parking lot out back. The air was crisp, full of late autumn cold with a hint of rain. Shivering, Blue slipped into her car and headed for Cam’s. It was five o’clock, and already she saw kids out, bundled warmly, but in costume.
She got to Cam’s just as he was heading out the door, a beautiful young princess holding on to his arm while dragging the biggest bag behind her. Tawny hadn’t spied Blue yet, and her face was turned up toward Cam, her expression earnest as she chatted away.
“Hey,” she said huskily as she approached the pair. “Don’t you look pretty.”
Tawny broke free of Cam and nearly knocked Blue over with the strength of her hug. “Blue, I’m a princess.” The little girl twirled in a full circle, kinky curls bouncing, sparkling hazel eyes flashing in the early evening gloom. They widened when she spied the purple-and-gold material that peeked from underneath Blue’s coat. “What are you?”
“I’m a genie,” she replied, glancing up at Cam. The man literally took her breath away. Dressed in dark denim and brown boots, he wore a thick black turtleneck with a heavy red-and-black-plaid button-down that hung loose. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, and his dark eyes settled on her with an intensity that made her knees weak.
“Hey,” he said softly. He bent forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks for handing out the candy. It’s in a bucket by the front door.” He pulled away, and she noticed some strain around his eyes. She hadn’t seen him since Saturday. He’d invited her to dinner at his parents on Sunday, same as he’d done for the past month or so, but she’d declined.
“You look tired,” she said, hand on his cheek as she stared up at him.
He was silent for a few moments and then offered up a smile that made her heart leap damn near out of her chest. “I’ll see you in a bit, and trust me, it won’t be sleep I’ll be thinking about.”
The two of them headed off to Mrs. Eddy’s place, and Blue walked into the house. She didn’t bother doffing her coat, because she’d spied a group of kids two houses down. When they rang the doorbell, she was ready.
Two hours later, just as she’d run out of candy, Cam and Tawny showed up. The princess was full of excitement and kept the conversation running nonstop as Blue helped her out of her costume and into her pajamas. Cam took her to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, and then she kissed them both before Cam tucked her into bed. There was no argument, no whining to stay up. The day had tuckered Tawny out, and she grabbed her teddy bear, fluffed her pillow just so, and was probably asleep before Cam and Blue made it back to the living room.
“You want a drink?” Cam asked.
“No, I’m good.”
She watched him from beneath hooded eyes. He ruffled the top of Rufus’s head and stared out the large bay window, into the night.
“How did it go with the town council meeting last night?” she asked, coming up alongside him.
“Good.” He shrugged. “They accepted my bid and liked the plans I had drawn up for the project. Now we just have to wade through the red tape, and hopefully, I’ll hear something soon.” He glanced at her. “What about you? How did the thing with your designer go yesterday?”
This wasn’t them. Small talk about work.
“It went well.”
“That’s good,” he murmured, turning back to the window.
“Cam,” she said hesitantly. “Are we okay?”
“What?” He was distracted, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t heard the question. Blue moved until she stood in front of him.
“Are you okay?”
Cam blew out a long, slow breath. “I’m just tired. Slept like crap last night.” He attempted a smile. “Didn’t get my Blue fix yesterday.”
“You want to talk about it?” She knew there was more to it. Cam was never this quiet. Never this serious.
He stared down at her for a few more moments and then shook his head. “Not yet.” He reached for her, and she melted into his arms. There was a weird vibe in the air, and Blue didn’t care for it one bit. Something had felt off since she’d arrived, but here in Cam’s arms, she c
ould pretend that it didn’t exist. That the cocoon they created was enough.
“Stay the night,” Cam said suddenly.
Blue squeezed her eyes shut, burrowing even closer to him, if that was possible. She felt the hardness of his chest against her cheek and heard the slow, steady beat of his heart in her ear. His arms were warm, and they held her tightly. But there was a tenseness to him, like he was a tightly strung rubber band about to snap.
He needed her. She felt it in her bones. And she thought that maybe she needed him more.
He kissed the top of her head and rested his chin there. “Don’t go. Just stay.”
Blue angled her head so she could see his face. She reached up and cupped his jaw. There were many things she wanted to say. Many things to confess. But tonight wasn’t about her. It was about Cam.
“Okay,” she said softly.
He dipped his head and claimed her mouth with an intensity that left her breathless. Blue let his desire and need wash over her. It carried her on a river that began and ended in his arms. Cam scooped her up, and they headed to his bedroom.
That night, there were no more words.
21
Cam opened his eyes.
The long shadows in his bedroom were just starting to recede as, just outside his window, darkness gave way to first light. It was early yet, just past five thirty in the morning, and he had no reason to crawl out of bed. In fact, for the first time in a long while, he had every reason to stay.
A slow grin curved his mouth as he looked down through heavy-lidded eyes at the woman in his arms. She was out cold, her breathing even, her beautiful face relaxed, and her warmth seeped into every part of him. He studied her for a few moments, chest tight, thoughts going to a place he’d never gone to with a woman. Not even Iris, Tawny’s mom. Blue belonged here with him. He never wanted to let her go again.
She mumbled something in her sleep and turned over, though she wiggled her butt back into place, a perfect spoon that had him hard and aching in less time than it would have taken to disengage himself from such a delectable sight. And why would he?
Slowly, his hand traveled down all that skin, tracing the womanly curve of her breast, the outline of her rib cage, the roundness of her hip. She moaned softly, and he curled into her, his hand making its way over her hip until he sank his fingers into the soft heat between her legs. She was wet, and her breathing picked up as he rubbed her clitoris in a gentle, rhythmic motion, and soon her hips gyrated slowly.
He peeked over her shoulder, nipping along the flesh there until his cheek was beside hers. Blue was still asleep, but she was moaning softly, her body reacting to the pleasure he doled out.
Half-asleep himself, but a slave to his body’s demands, he moved against her, slowly thrusting back and forth, his dick sliding along the swell of her butt. Positioning himself, he carefully coaxed her legs open and slid inside Blue from behind. Awash in sensation and heat and tightness, Cam’s eyes fluttered shut. The two of them began to dance again, the ancient thread of need and desire tangled them both up in a dream state of hot sex.
He rested his head against her shoulder, while one hand held on to her hip so he had some kind of control. Her moans were louder, and she arched back into him, trying to increase the rhythm, while Cam held back. He didn’t want this feeling to end. This connection. This fucking fantasy come to life.
But he could only hold on so long, and they shuddered together, his body curved into hers, his mouth on her neck. He was complete. Even in his sex-hazed state he realized that. She belonged to him, and Cam belonged to Blue. Somehow, they made sense.
I love her.
Those were the last words he thought as he drifted off once more, fully sated and fully thankful for the gift he held.
By seven a.m., Cam was grilling eggs and bacon, while Tawny sat in front of the television eating dry Cheerios, Rufus waiting patiently at her side for any ones she dropped, watching some show about a talking cucumber. The cucumber, Charlie, taught numbers and manners and, according to Tawny, was the coolest cucumber ever. Cam glanced up as she clapped and sang along to one of the silly songs. He’d braided her hair, she’d picked out her clothes, and all that was left was breakfast and then school by eight o’clock.
There was frost on the windows when he finally dragged his ass out of bed. Blue was still fast asleep, and he didn’t have the heart to wake her. Besides, the image of her tangled in his sheets, so damn vulnerable and trusting, was something he didn’t think he’d ever forget. At the moment, life was good.
“Daddy, you know this song.” Tawny was on her feet now, stomping them loudly and getting Rufus all riled up. The dog’s tailed wagged crazily as he jumped up and down, excited to be part of whatever it was Tawny was creating.
It took a few seconds until Cam realized what he’d heard. Daddy. The word stopped him cold. She’d called him Daddy. He took a moment, hell he had to because there was a lump in his throat that was so damn big he couldn’t speak. Daddy. How in hell this little girl managed to burrow so deeply into his soul was anyone’s guess. She’d come to him with nothing and had given him everything.
“Sing it with me,” Tawny demanded, marching like a soldier as Charlie the cucumber sang about following rules.
Cam hummed along to the song—of course he knew it. He’d heard it every single morning for the past four weeks. He flipped the eggs, tossed bread in the toaster, and then grabbed orange juice and set it on the counter. He glanced up just as Blue appeared, and nearly lost his breath when she met his gaze.
Her skin had that early morning glow. Her lips were bruised from all the loving he’d given her. And the soft smile that curved her mouth did funny things to his insides.
“Coffee?” he asked.
She nodded and sat down at the island.
He handed it to her, black, the way she liked it. “I could get used to this,” he said and leaned forward. He swept a kiss across her mouth. “You in my house first thing in the morning.”
“Are you gonna kiss again?”
They both looked down at Tawny, who stood with her hands on her hips. “Or are you going to sing with me?”
Cam laughed. “Kiddo, it’s time for breakfast. We’re going to eat.” He nodded toward the living room. “TV off.”
“Ah…can’t we just listen to the songs while we eat our toast?”
“You know the rules. Besides, what would Charlie the cucumber say?”
Tawny sighed. “Charlie would say always listen to your parents.”
Cam’s eyebrows shot up. “What else?”
“Rules are meant to be followed.”
He chuckled. “I knew I liked Charlie for a reason.”
The three of them ate breakfast, the adults quiet while Tawny chatted up a storm. She told them about a secret art project her teacher was planning. And how much she loved snow. And her purple rain boots. And Charlie the cucumber. When she was done, she took her plate and placed it carefully in the sink before running off to brush her teeth and gather her backpack.
“You’ve got the morning thing down pat.” Blue smiled as he grabbed her plate and loaded up the dishwasher.
“Kids like routine,” Cam replied with a shrug.
“I think it’s more than that.”
“Yeah?” Cam turned to face Blue.
She nodded. “Yeah. Tawny is happy. She’s safe and loved, and it shows.”
Cam looked away. He busied himself with the dishwasher. He didn’t want to think about the future just yet, because the future wasn’t carved in stone. He had a meeting with his lawyer early this afternoon, and as far as he knew, his lawyer and her investigator still hadn’t found Tawny’s father. Children’s services had scheduled a well check, and fuck if he knew if he’d pass. He was in a precarious position, and he knew things didn’t always end up the way they should.
The doorbell rang just then, and Tawny ran past them, a blur of curls, pink, and purple. She opened the door without asking—something he’d have to work o
n—and yelled over her shoulder.
“Silas’s mommy is here.”
Cam grabbed Tawny’s lunch bag from the fridge and headed to the front door, where Tawny was stuffing her feet into her purple rain boots. He handed the little girl her jacket while Melissa Cook took her backpack. Melissa was Cam’s age and currently separated from her husband. An attractive, tall, and willowy brunette, she’d have been on his radar, probably in his bed if not for the woman sitting at his island. They had history, the kind that fumbling sixteen-year-olds create, and she’d made no bones about the fact that she was open to a new kind of history. The more mature kind.
Melissa smiled and took the backpack, her gaze moving past Cam. He stepped aside. “Melissa, this is Blue.”
Melissa’s eyes widened slightly, but her smile never faltered, and she waved a quick hello before ushering Tawny out to her car. He followed her to the porch. “You’ll pick up?”
He nodded.
“I’ve got them.” After the first few weeks, Cam and Melissa had come to a pickup-and-drop-off arrangement that made life easier for both of them.
“So the rumors are true.” Melissa paused. “Bluebell Barnes, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Might get complicated.”
Cam shrugged. “I can handle complicated.”
Tawny was already at her car. “Take care of yourself, Cam. Edward Barnes fights dirty, and everyone knows he has it in for her.”
A dose of anger stirred at the mention of Barnes. “Eddie Barnes is a coward. I can handle him too.”
“You might be able to, but that doesn’t mean she can.” Melissa slid into her vehicle. “Just watch your back.”
Cam waited until she’d pulled out of his driveway, smiling at Tawny as she waved furiously from the backseat. He let himself back in the house and immediately grabbed Blue into his arms. He held her, his head nestled against the side of her neck. She smelled of him and sex, and that chest-thumping Neanderthal part of him roared to life. He didn’t want to let her go.
He needed her. Plain and simple.
The Thing About Trouble Page 16