The Blank Canvas (Apartment #2)

by Amanda Black

  “Home is wherever you are. I know that now.”

  “God dammit!” she sobbed, shedding fresh tears. “Stop doing that!”

  “Doing what?”

  “Saying things like that! I don’t know how to take them, and they only make me miss you more.”

  “Just take them as the truth.”

  “I do. I believe you, it’s just… I’m not used to hearing things like that.”

  Ethan smiled. “Well, you better start getting used to it. Apparently you’ve tapped into my inner cheeseball.”

  “Then can’t you mix it in with something naughty? Give me a chance to adjust to the little girl you’ve become?” They both laughed at that.

  “How’s this? Lily, I love you more than anything and can’t wait until I get to slide myself inside your tight little body again and fuck you senseless.”

  “Ooh, yes… that’s more like it!” she giggled.

  “It’s true, you know,” he said, his voice growing more husky and heated.

  “Hey, don’t start with that voice unless you plan on a repeat phone performance.”

  That reminded Ethan where he was, and he shut his eyes in frustration. “Shit! Good point. I’d love nothing else right now, but I’m at Emma’s place for the night. I don’t think I want them to hear us.”

  “I thought you were going to stay at a hotel.”

  “I was, but when Emma heard that she insisted I cancel my reservation and stay here.”

  Lily sighed again, rolling her eyes. “Damn that little shit, always interfering! Oh well, it’s a big deal to her, you know, having her brother stay over. I bet you made her day by calling her up like that. I’m glad you did. She misses you more than you realize.”

  “I think I missed her more than I realized, too.” They chatted for a few more minutes and then said their goodnights, each of them refusing to hang up first, feeling like blushing fourteen-year-olds with butterflies in their stomachs.

  * * *

  The next morning, Ethan was woken by some ungodly caterwauling in the kitchen that turned out to be a pop song Emma was blasting about yelling timber or something like that. When he walked in covering his ears and scowling, she stopped mixing the pancake batter and turned down the speakers.

  “Sorry! Did I wake you?” When he merely grumbled out the word “coffee” and trudged off in the direction she pointed to pour himself a cup, Emma went back to her mixing. After pouring out four large scoops of batter onto the sizzling griddle, she set down the ladle and turned around to face him. “I hope pancakes are okay. I wanted to make you something, but I haven’t been to the store yet this week. So, it’s either this or Grape-Nuts, and if I remember correctly you won’t eat those.”

  “Blech!” he shuddered, making a face as he walked around the island and sat on a stool across from where she had gone back to scraping and flipping. “How can you eat that nasty shit?” His voice was hoarse from sleep, and he hovered over his steaming cup as if it were the answer to all of his prayers.

  “It’s not so bad if you heat it up and sprinkle a little sweetener on it.”

  “And thus change everything about it in order to tolerate it. No thanks.”

  “I guess that’s fair. I’m like that with Brandon and his grits. No way. I won’t even make them. He has to wait and get them whenever we go out for breakfast.”

  “Where is he, anyway?” Ethan asked as he sipped his coffee.

  “He had to go into the office. There was a meeting he couldn’t get out of. I canceled my morning, though.”

  “You didn’t have to do that, Em. Or make the pancakes.”

  “I wanted to. For both.”

  “Then thank you very much. For both.”

  They were quiet for a few minutes as she dished up two plates, placing one down in front of Ethan and walking around the counter to hop onto the stool next to him. Taking turns drowning their breakfast in maple syrup, they both chewed and swallowed huge mouthfuls in silence, only an occasional grunt or sigh proving that they were enjoying the meal.

  “So,” Emma said around a mouthful of food, “how are things with Lily?”

  “Mmph,” he grunted, nodding until he swallowed. “Good. Better than good, actually.”

  “Oh, I’m so happy for you two!” she dropped her fork and clapped enthusiastically. “Have you guys dropped the L bomb yet?” At the telltale coloring of her brother’s cheeks, she laughed loudly and bounced up and down. “Ooh! You did! You did! Who said it first? Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

  “Jesus, Emma, what are you, twelve?”

  “Oh, shut it! Can’t I be excited? You’re my brother, and I’ve never seen you so happy.”

  “That’s because I haven’t been. Being with her is just… God, Emma, I don’t even know how to describe it.”

  “Like you found the other half of you?”

  “You too?” he asked, remembering his discussion with Eric about the same topic.

  “Story of my life, brother dear.”

  “Is it always so… intense?”

  “Yes. At least it is for me. But you get used to it after a while. You learn to adapt.”

  “Man, I hope so. This shit is seriously consuming me. And you know what scares me the most? The fact that it doesn’t feel weird. I am seriously way too attached to this girl, way too fast, and rather than being bothered by that, I just feel… right. Does that make any sense?”

  “Of course it does, Ethan. You’re preaching to the choir, here. The first night I met Brandon, I asked him what his last name was. When he asked me why, I told him it was so I could find out what my new name was going to be. Any other guy in the world would have run screaming to the hills, but he just smiled and kissed me. And it just felt right.”

  “Jesus… I always thought stories like that were bullshit. Now I’m in the middle of one.”

  “Well I, for one, am thrilled that you’re not fighting it anymore,” she said, picking up the empty plates and tossing them in the dishwasher. “It’s like you’re a different person since you came back… or more like the real Ethan we all know and love decided to come back to us.” She turned to him again, her face growing serious. “No matter what happens, I’ll always love Lily for that.”

  “For what?”

  “For giving me my brother back.” She absently wiped at a tear as she spoke, and before he had time to think about it, Ethan had crossed the room and pulled her to him in a fierce hug.

  “Hey,” he whispered, rocking her back and forth. “I’m the lucky one. I have my whole family back and a woman I’m crazy about. I feel like I won the karma lottery or something.”

  After they had both cleaned up, they decided to take a walk down to the market since Emma still needed some groceries and Ethan’s meeting wasn’t for a few hours. He’d been evasive over dinner the night before when they asked him why he was in town, but Emma refused to let it go a second time. When he finally relented and told her what he was planning, she threw down the cucumber she was holding and started jumping up and down, insisting that he tell her every single detail.

  Once Emma had been updated and sworn to secrecy, Ethan paid for her groceries as a thank you for the room and the pancakes, and he even carried them home for her. Noticing that it was getting close to his meeting time, he grabbed his things and kissed his sister goodbye.

  “Aren’t you staying another night?” she called after him on his way to the door.

  “Depends how late this all goes. I’d really like to get back earlier if I can.”

  “Good luck!”

  His meeting with Joan and Greg ran longer than he’d hoped it would, both of them wanting to tweak a few more details with the final arrangements, and by the time they were done it was well after dinner time. As soon as they wrapped things up he tried to make a break for it, but Greg took him aside and reminded him that they were going to treat Joan to dinner as a thank you for expediting everything with such short notice. When he started to complain, Greg told him that it was the
least they could do for her, and that he and Rachel had done it many times for different gallery owners who hadn’t put in half as much effort in twice as much time.

  Huffing loudly, Ethan drove himself separately, hoping to leave town as soon as possible. After he parked at the restaurant he grabbed his phone, shooting off a quick text to Lily on the way inside.

  May not be able to call, stuck in late dinner meeting. Miss you.

  He set his phone to vibrate and joined the others inside. A few minutes later, he felt his pocket buzzing. Not wanting to appear any ruder than he already had, he took it out quietly and peeked at her reply under the edge of the table.

  Jesus, meetings? What the hell are you planning? (Miss you, too)

  He smiled to himself, eager for the following weekend so that he could show her just how much she meant to him. Glancing up and nodding in reply to make it appear as if he was actually listening to something Greg and Joan were babbling about that couldn’t have interested him less, he quickly typed out another message.

  Shh! It’s a secret. And I’m not telling.

  She replied immediately.

  Alright, fine. But then I’m not telling you what I’m wearing right now.

  “Everything okay, Ethan?” Greg asked him after he broke into a coughing fit trying to cover his groan.

  “Uh, yeah. I’m fine, sorry. Think I inhaled some parmesan cheese or something.” When they finally slipped back into their conversation, he sent back another.

  Very cruel, baby. I gotta go for now. Love you.

  Deciding that he should at least try to pay attention for the rest of the meal, Ethan worked himself back into the discussion they were having, and before long he was surprised to find that he was actually enjoying himself. Joan had a lot of fun, fresh ideas for her gallery’s future, and Ethan meant it when he told her he hoped his name might help her draw even more business.

  “Oh, I can’t imagine that it won’t,” she smiled. “But even if it didn’t, I wouldn’t care. I’ve been a huge fan of your work for years, and it’s an honor to be able to help you now.”

  It wasn’t until after dessert and coffee that they finally said their goodbyes, and when Ethan checked his watch again it was after ten.

  “Dammit!” he swore to himself as he climbed in his car. Reaching for his phone to call Emma, pissed that he had to stay another night, he was surprised to see that he’d missed another text from Lily about twenty minutes before that.

  Sorry we couldn’t talk tonight. I’m calling it a night & heading to bed. Miss you and love you!

  Ethan’s mind flashed to an image of her curled up in her bed, thinking of him as she drifted off to sleep. Before he knew what he was doing, he had turned his car toward the interstate and finished dialing Emma’s number.

  “Hey, there,” she answered on the second ring. “You heading back over for the night?”

  “No, I’m driving back now. Just wanted to let you know I wouldn’t be back.”

  “It’s a three-hour drive! You’ll fall asleep,” she warned, the worried tone in her voice easy to pick up.

  The image of Lily sleeping in their room flashed before his eyes again, and suddenly there was no other place in the world that existed. He glanced at the keys dangling from his ignition, the light reflecting off of one that was old and brass and had seen better days.

  “I’ll be fine. I’m going home.”

  Chapter 11

  Sometime after five in the morning, Lily opened her eyes begrudgingly, not wanting to ruin the best dream she’d had in months. Not knowing what woke her since she still had another hour before her alarm clock would go off, she closed her eyes again tightly, trying to will herself back to sleep, hoping that just once she would be able to pick up where she had left off in her dream. In it, Ethan had come to her, sliding into bed next to her in the darkness, wrapping her up in the warmth of his arms. It wasn’t the content of the dream that was so wonderful—she certainly had more erotic dreams recently—but it was the fact that it felt more real than any other dream she’d had in her entire life.

  Concentrating so hard on the heat of his body that she could swear she somehow still felt it, Lily was startled when the bed shifted behind her and a large hand with long, slender fingers slid under her tank top and settled on the bare flesh of her stomach. Choking back a loud squeak, she shifted her body enough so that she could roll over and face her dream visitor.

  “Mmm… stop wiggling,” a deep voice slurred next to her in the darkness, sounding heavy with sleep.

  When her eyes finally adjusted to the lighting, Lily was treated to the sight of Ethan curled against her, his face peaceful with rest. Boober was rolled up in a fuzzy ball behind the back of his knees, effectively trapping him under the covers, and Wembley was stretched out on the pillow beside him, slowly tapping the tip of his tail against Ethan’s forehead. It was so cute she hated to ruin it, but she knew firsthand what it was like to wake up to an eyeful of cat ass.

  “Get!” she whispered, shooing Wembley away with a few gentle nudges until he relocated himself next to his brother. He took his sweet time moving, and the look he shot her as he padded across the mattress told her exactly what he thought of her at that moment.

  Once Ethan was free of his cat bandana, Lily snuggled against him, wrapping her arm around his side and resting her hand on the firm muscles of his back. Kissing him softly on the lips, she pulled back just far enough so that she could look at him without her eyes crossing.

  “I thought I dreamt you,” she whispered, so close to him that her warm breath fluttered against his skin.

  “Mmm,” he mumbled, pulling her more firmly against him without opening his eyes. “Sleep.”

  Too excited to relax, she pressed him further. “I thought you were going to stay over another night.”

  “Missed you,” he finally replied on the tail end of a loud yawn, distorting his words as he exhaled. “Couldn’t wait.”

  “Aww,” she cooed. “So adorable.” She burrowed her head into the nook between his jaw and his shoulder, breathing him in deeply. Just as she was about to drift back off to sleep, another thought occurred to her. “Hey, how did you get in here?”

  “Still have my key. Couldn’t get rid of it… gave the landlady a copy. Was really happy you didn’t change the lock.”

  “Never,” she said with a catch in her voice, turning her head to kiss the angular curve of his jawbone. “I could never lock you out of our place.” And then in an even smaller voice, “I kept hoping you would walk through that door.”

  That woke him up further. He reached up behind her and smoothed her hair back, cradling her head gently against him. “I’ve never told you how much it meant to me that you kept this place. When I learned that you were living here now, I just knew. I knew we had a chance.”

  Lily tilted her face up to meet his now serious gaze. “I couldn’t let you go. It was all I had left of you.”

  “I’ll be thankful for that for the rest of my life.”

  Their lips met in a tender kiss that slowly burned hotter. When he felt the wet tip of her tongue flicking against him, searching for entrance, he opened to it gladly. As the kiss deepened and they swallowed each other’s moans, Ethan began to feel himself stirring in his boxer briefs, so he tried to pull his hips back from her a bit to keep from poking her in the stomach.

  Lily, however, had other plans. As soon as she felt him trying to scoot away from her, she slid her hand down to his ass and gripped him firmly, pulling him back until his hardness was rubbing against her inner thigh. Moaning loudly against his mouth, Lily wrapped her leg around his hip, sending the grouchy cats sleeping behind him running for the other room. Before he could stop himself, Ethan cupped her bottom and thrust his hips, grinding his erection more directly against her moist heat.

  “God, baby… we have to stop,” he gasped as he pulled himself away from trailing wet kisses down the column of her neck.

  “You stop,” she panted, getting up on he
r knees and shoving him until he was lying flat on his back. “I’m doing no such thing.” Kneeling at his side, Lily threw back the covers, exposing him to her hungry gaze. As soon as she saw the dark gray cotton of his underwear tented up with a telltale wet spot growing at the tip, she let out the most animalistic grunt that he’d ever heard her make before pulling and yanking the elastic down over his hips.

  “What… what are you doing?” he somehow managed to ask, mesmerized by the look of determination on her face.

  “Relax,” she huffed, not looking at him until his boxers were down past his knees. “I’m not going to attack you—even though it’s the least you deserve for showing up in my bed half-naked like this,” she smirked. “I mean, a girl can only take so much teasing before she snaps.”

  She reached out and gently touched her fingertip to the underside of his erection, trailing it slowly up the length of him as it strained back towards his abdomen. When she reached the swollen tip, she swirled her finger around the collecting moisture she found there, causing Ethan to hiss loudly through his teeth. It wasn’t until he looked back up and met her stare that she wrapped her fingers around his shaft and squeezed.

  “Oh fuck!”

  “No, not quite,” she said, giggling to herself. “Someone won’t let me yet. But don’t think for one second that I forgot it’s my turn to return the favor.” With that, she leaned over and sucked him deeply into her mouth, not stopping until he hit the back of her throat.

  “Jesus Christ!” he groaned, instinctively bringing his hand to the back of her head to guide her movements. Lily worked him viciously, bobbing her mouth up and down his length, swirling her tongue around him on the upstroke. His grunts and moans were steadily growing louder, accentuated by the thrusting of his hips. “Fuck, baby… it’s been so long since I’ve felt you there… your goddam perfect fucking mouth.” He sounded like he might cry from the pleasure, and there were more than a few times he had to stop himself from just grabbing her hair and pounding into her until she choked.