It took him a while to find his voice again, and he fought to sound reasonable because anger wouldn’t help matters. “But all that I did back there. I won your freedom so you wouldn’t have to stay here.”
She placed her palm against his cheek, and her touch was cooler than he remembered. “You won my freedom so I could be myself again. Before, staying wasn’t my choice. It was all I could do. I had no options. But because of you, I can choose. I thank you for that, and I will always owe you for that.” She smiled as tears streamed down her face. “But this is the choice I have to make.” She moved her hand around to behind his head to pull him to her for a kiss. He tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled back, staying close, but not touching him. “I love you so much, and that’s the only reason I’d even consider going back with you, but I can’t go, and I want you to let me go and move on. Please.”
“I could stay here with you,” he said, getting desperate.
“No, you couldn’t. I can’t imagine you being happy here.”
Michael couldn’t speak. Getting shot hadn’t hurt this badly, and he felt like he must be bleeding out, his life draining from him as the world spiraled away. In desperation, he cried out, “Sophie, do something!”
Forty-four
Outside the Palace
Next
Sophie had been trying to make herself scarce and invisible, then realized she really had made herself invisible, which somehow felt worse because it meant she was spying on Michael and Jen, so she toned down the magic. If she was going to eavesdrop on a private moment, they needed to know she was there.
This wasn’t at all what she’d imagined happening. They’d done all the right things, so why hadn’t it worked? It had never occurred to her that Jen would make any other choice but to go home.
And then Michael had to ask her for help. Was this some kind of cosmic test of her will to do the right thing, regardless of what she wanted?
But then she realized that she wanted what would make Michael happy, and the anguish on his face was killing her. She would do anything to make things work out for him, even if it meant she never saw him again.
“I can’t force her to go,” she told him. “But Jen, the transition may not be as bad as you think. I could help you.”
“Could you guarantee I’d be happy?”
“No one can guarantee that for anyone.”
“Here it’s a guarantee. There’s nothing to worry about—no money, no job, no cares, no responsibilities, no illness, no getting older. Look at your grandmother. She’s so much better off here. She’s young and healthy, and I assume that wasn’t the case in our world. And no one else gets older, so you don’t lose your loved ones.”
“What about the loved ones in our world?” Michael asked. Sophie thought he was doing a remarkable job of keeping his cool, even as tears turned his eyes a bright green. “Not just me, but your father, your sister. You have a niece you haven’t even met yet.”
“A niece?” Sophie thought Jen’s resolve might be wavering, and she held her breath, afraid that saying or doing the wrong thing might alter the outcome.
“Yeah, she’s four, and she looks a lot like you. Your sister says she also acts a lot like you.”
“Coming from her, I’m not sure that’s a compliment.” She shook her head. “I hadn’t even thought about my sister.”
“Well, until recently, you didn’t remember me, or who you were.”
“My mom’s still dead, isn’t she?”
“She died before we met.”
“She wasn’t much older than I am—than I will be if I go back—when she died.”
“That doesn’t mean the same thing will happen to you.”
“It runs in the family. Do you think you could bear to lose me all over again, and in such a horrible way?”
Sophie forced herself to remain silent, even though she wanted to cry out, “That explains everything!” She could understand Jen’s fears, but she didn’t understand wanting to stay. She’d been willing to do so out of duty, but her relief from her grandmother taking that burden made her feel like she’d taken a magic potion and gained a new life. Wanting to live in the Realm full-time was beyond Sophie’s comprehension, even if death was a looming specter.
But Michael had mentioned that Jen was a dreamer. Dreamers tended to be drawn to the Realm, and they had been, throughout history. “You may find your artistic abilities enhanced,” Sophie said, without even thinking first. Jen turned sharply to her, and Sophie spoke rapidly, taking advantage of her attention. “You were an actress, right? Well, Emily’s career took off like crazy upon her return. She now has this ability to hold an audience in the palm of her hand. You may not need commercials for cleaning products. When you step onstage, no one will be able to look away from you. That shows up throughout folklore; whenever someone in the arts is taken by the fae, when they return, their abilities are beyond human.” Come to think of it, they also tended to drink a lot and die young, but Jen didn’t need to hear that now, not when she was already afraid of dying young.
“Really?” Jen looked hopeful, and Sophie mentally crossed her fingers in hope that this would work.
“Em’s the toast of Broadway now,” Michael said, the hope in his eyes giving Sophie a warm glow.
“What would you do in my position?” Jen asked Sophie. “Would you give up being young forever to live a human life?”
“I just did,” Sophie pointed out. “That’s why my grandmother is taking responsibility for the Realm, so I can live in the human world. Who knows, when I’m eighty and can’t dance anymore and have nothing left in the human world, I might just disappear here for good, but until then, I want to live a life.”
After a long, deep breath, Jen held her hand out to Sophie. “Okay, then, let’s go, before I change my mind again.” Sophie took her hand and Michael grabbed Sophie’s before she even had to reach for him.
“Ready?” she said to them. They both nodded, and she took a step. Just as she felt the tingle of passage through a gateway, Jen’s hand started to slip from hers. She tightened her grip, for fear the Realm might be dragging her back, but Jen wrenched her hand away. When they emerged in the dark, chilly park, Michael and Sophie were alone.
“What happened?” Michael demanded, whirling on Sophie.
“She let go. I tried to hold on to her.”
“Was she still held to the Realm somehow? Is there something more I need to do?”
“I think she changed her mind. She just couldn’t do it.”
“We’ve got to go back and get her. Open a gateway now! Aren’t you the queen? Can’t you make her go?”
Sophie searched herself to determine if her answer was what she wanted to say or the right thing to say. No, seeing him hurt this way was too painful for her. She didn’t want this to happen to him, no matter what it meant for her own happiness. “You went through all that—you ‘killed’ me—to win her freedom. Would you take that freedom away from her? You saw what happened to people forced out of the Realm. Would you do that to her?”
She tried to read his face to see if sanity would prevail, but that was difficult in the early-morning darkness. She wouldn’t blame him one bit for being furious at her, for being outraged with the universe in general. When at last he spoke, his voice was soft and rough. “Is there anything I could have done? If I’d found her sooner, if we’d figured out what was going on, if I’d tried to take her home immediately …”
“I don’t know. But I think it may have already been too late when you first saw her at the market. You can’t blame yourself. She doesn’t blame you. She thanked you. You saved her, one way or another, even if it wasn’t the way you wanted.”
He stood very still for a long moment and she wondered what she should do—hug him, lead him home, talk to him, or let him be. Suddenly, he crumpled, his legs going out from under him as he sank to the ground.
Blinking back tears, she moved toward him. He’d dropped his messenger bag, with his coat draped
over it. She picked up the coat and wrapped it around his shoulders, since it was chilly in the park. When he didn’t shrug her off or otherwise indicate he wanted her to go away, she knelt next to him and put her arm around him, somewhat awkwardly.
She wasn’t at all prepared when he leaned against her like he was drawing warmth and comfort from her. She couldn’t tell if he was crying, but she sure was. Normally, she liked to be alone for her cathartic cries after a crisis, but this wasn’t entirely that kind of cry. Someone she cared about—loved—was hurting, and the pain was almost too much for her to bear. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could make it be different, somehow. If I could think of something, anything …”
They sat like that for a long time, him resting against her in the circle of her arms. Finally, he gave a long, deep sigh and said, picking up the conversation where they’d left off, “No, I think you’re right. She was right. I know what I wanted to happen, but it’s her choice, and since I know she was able to choose, I have to accept it. I should have remembered about her mother. I knew she was afraid of what would happen to her, even before she disappeared. That was why she always went after anything she wanted, including me.” He straightened, not really pulling away from Sophie, but moving to sit beside her, still leaning against her. She kept one arm around him. “If she’d left me for someone else in this world, I guess I wouldn’t be able to do anything more than what I just did, then accept her decision.”
“You’d have every right to be angry, in that case. Now, too, I guess.”
“It would have been difficult for her, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, I think so. You might have made it work, but it would never have been the same as before. You’re both different people. You went through so much, and you went through it apart.”
“I think it was the gray hair that did it,” he said, a hint of laughter in his voice. “I got old while she was gone.”
“Not that old.”
“Yeah, but the wrong side of thirty. It’s one thing when the transition is gradual, but getting it all at once must have been a shock.”
“I really don’t think it was anything to do with you. She found a place she liked, and leaving was too much for her to bear.”
“So I guess I should do what she said and move on, huh? Everyone else has been telling me that for years.” He got to his feet and extended a hand to her. For once, she took it and let him pull her up.
“You do what you need to do on your own schedule,” she said as he put his arms in the sleeves of his coat and bent to pick up his bag.
A noise nearby in the park startled both of them. The park should have been closed by now, so Sophie was leery about what it might be—not another would-be fairy ruler trying to get rid of the reigning queen, she hoped. What she didn’t expect to see was a stocky woman pushing an old shopping cart with a woman wearing a prom dress sleeping inside the basket. A wan-looking fairy who appeared to be fading fast trailed behind the woman.
“Oh, you again,” the woman said to Michael. “And I take it this is your friend the fairy queen.” She bowed her head ever so slightly to Sophie. “Your majesty.”
“And I take it you’re Michael’s wise woman friend,” Sophie said. “Pleased to meet you.”
“You’re not kicking out the humans, are you?”
“No, and I’ve stopped the ones who were.”
“Good. Now, I’ve got a couple folks who need to get home, if you’d be so kind.”
“Of course.” Sophie opened a gateway, and the fairy immediately perked up. He lifted the sleeping woman from the shopping cart and disappeared into the darkness.
The wise woman nodded her approval. “So I guess I can send any others I find who want to get back on home now, if I can find a friendly fairy to take them.”
“It should be safe now,” Sophie agreed. “And if I’m around, I can get them back, but I may be tied up for a few days.”
The woman turned back to Michael. “I won’t even ask how your quest went. You’d look better if you’d been successful.”
Sophie wasn’t sure how he held himself together well enough to say calmly, “Actually, I was successful. She just didn’t want to go after I freed her.”
“Good job, then. I knew you had it in you. But yeah, some people don’t adapt too well. Like those two.” She gestured with her head toward where the gateway had been. “Nothing I did for her would have made her happy here. And I can tell you’re not suited for life in there. Your calling is here. Time for you to get to work, son.” She gave her cart a good push and headed off.
“You meet some very interesting people in the park at this time of night,” Sophie remarked, mostly to break the uncomfortable silence that lingered after the woman’s departure.
“I just wish I knew what she wants me to do,” Michael said.
“If it’s a calling, you’ll figure it out.”
He shrugged and shook his head. “How should I even handle this?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do I just let Jen stay missing? I’m at the point where I could declare her legally dead. Or do you do something like you did with your grandmother and make something into a body to be found?”
“I could do that. Is that what you want?”
He was silent for a while, then said, “No, I don’t think so. A body would turn it into a murder investigation, and that would send the force on a wild goose chase. I should probably just let her vanish. I’ll wait a little while before declaring her dead, and I’ll talk to her family about it.”
“Yes, jumping on that would just be tacky.”
He chuckled at that, and it sounded real, not like borderline hysteria. “I wouldn’t want to look too eager.”
“So no lining up the wedding to the next wife as soon as you get the papers signed?” As soon as she said it, she wanted to kick herself. Talk about tacky.
But he laughed. “Yeah, I don’t think that’ll be an issue. It’s not like I’ve established a waiting list.”
Sophie felt a pang at that. She reminded herself that whatever they had was entirely one-sided, as he’d been focused on his wife. What did she expect, for him to make a move on her the moment he realized his marriage really was over, even if he had fallen into her arms at that moment?
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I think so. Eventually. It’s just going to take some time.”
“Then let’s get you home.”
“You don’t have to escort me. Don’t you have to get home to your mother? She’ll be finding a body in her parlor pretty soon.”
“I wouldn’t want to interrupt her performance of ‘Ding, Dong the Witch Is Dead.’ Besides, I think you need a friend right now.”
“Yeah, I do, if you don’t mind.” He held out his arm for her to take, and together they headed for the edge of the park. “One great thing about this city is that we shouldn’t have any trouble finding a place where we can get coffee even at this hour. Whatever hour this is. You up for a cup?”
“Make it tea and you’re on.”
After they’d walked awhile, he said, “What about you? What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. It hasn’t really caught up to me yet. I’ll probably still pop back every so often to see Nana.”
“I meant in real life. That’s why you were staying at home. What about now?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been taking some classes up here, and a few people have offered to have me audition, so I may give it a shot. I should still have a few years in me.”
“So you’ll be around?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good.”
That single word was enough to make her warm with hope, no matter how chilly the morning was.
Forty-five
Riverside Park
Meanwhile
The A sisters headed off to their apartment near their shop, insisting that they were fine getting there on their own. After seeing
them in magical warfare, Emily didn’t argue with them. She was a little disappointed that Eamon barely said a farewell before going back through the gateway. She’d thought something had happened between them, but maybe it had just been acting, after all. As her sister often said, the fae were difficult to understand. She’d worry about it once she’d had some sleep. Tugging on Beau’s leash, she said, “So, whattaya say we go home, buddy, huh?”
The dog wearily pushed himself to his feet with a sigh, but then he trotted eagerly in the direction of her apartment. When she came down her block, she was surprised to find Sophie sitting on the front steps of her building. She looked rather forlorn. Drawing nearer, Emily noted that her eyes were puffy and red from tears.
Beau waddled forward to head-butt Sophie’s ankle and flop against her feet. “What is it, Soph?” Emily asked, sitting next to her.
“Jen didn’t come back.”
“Oh, God. Poor Michael. What happened? I thought he did all the stuff to free her.”
“Yeah, that’s the problem. He freed her to make her own choices, and she chose the Realm.” She shook her head, and her lower lip quivered slightly. “We tried everything to change her mind. I even thought she was coming through with us, but she let go on the way through the gateway.”
“What are you going to do?”
“She told him to let her go and move on, and that’s what he’s decided to do. It may be worth one more try after she’s lived awhile in the Realm without being a captive, but I really don’t think that’s going to make things better.”
“At least he knows he did everything he could. Doesn’t he?”
“Yeah, I think so. Anyway, I thought I’d hang around to tell you so you’d know to keep an eye on him. He’s going to need friends. What kept you, anyway? We went for coffee and talked a while after we got back.”
“I guess we came through at a different time. Eamon has that fairy time problem, so he must not have been on your schedule.”
“Oh, right,” Sophie said with a nod. Her cell phone rang, and she took it out of her bag, then groaned. “I should have gone back earlier.”
To Catch a Queen Page 27