Hayden had made me a guitar from some spare parts we had. It was a perfect Earth replica. I would play every night, sometimes it would bring me peace, other times it would make me hurt. It would remind me of everything I lost getting here; my mother, Aira, Dom, all the people on Errikus. That entire world was dead now. We picked up a signal not long after our departure. It was a cry for help from the ones we left behind. The colony was being ravaged by hellbeasts both mature and adolescent. In a few years the environment there would be completely inhospitable.
“I don’t now why you worry so much Sev,” Hayden said, “We have this. you and me, we’re a team.” And just like that we were patching up the hole. “It looks like that alloy is sharper then whatever this ship is made out of. What do you think it could be?” I asked. “Doesn’t really matter, we have to turn back now if we are going to hook back up with the Erebus, we’re going to have to drop a drone and turn around.”
“This is Balkava, blackbird do you hear me?” Balkava’s voice came on the comm. Sending signals through the immer in realtime was something we managed to perfect fifty-sixty years ago.
“You can refer to me by name, no need to be formal,” I answered.
“This is a formal mission Sev, it would be best if we act like it, “ she snapped.
“This is Blackbird, what can we do for you?” Hayden snapped back. “Forget it, just hurry and drop some drones in the area and get back to the ship, Balkava out,” and like that she was gone. It was silent aside from my breathing inside the helmet.
I could never get over the fact that the Erebus gave the drop ships names. It was rumored that the drop ships and transports possessed A.I. cores. It was a failsafe put into their design, should anything happen to the crew the ship would act as a drone with the mind of a child carrying out whatever it’s last task might have been. Beyond that the A.I. cores would have been useless unless they were used to spy on us. There wouldn’t be much of a point to that though, everything we said and did was recorded and reviewed later by the elders. The elders seemed to have all of the control on the ship. We were a social society taught that we were all equal but in reality the elders held all the power. The elders were survivors though - have to give them some credit. Most were veterans from various skirmishes and each and every one of them had been awake their whole lives. Together they made up the consul that governed us all.
“Last drone is out,” Hayden said. The drones were rectangular with several rails running down and off their sides. Drones could be used to study anything from derelict crafts, the surface of a planet, even within the convection zone of a yellow star. They could transmit data all the way up till the corona. It was quite a feat.
“Ready to get out of here? How far away are we from the Erebus anyway?” Hayden asked. “We are a few hours away,” I answered. Drop ship, transports, even drones were created with small immersion cores and ion drives. Drives that would surround an object with a field and tap into the energy of the immer. They wouldn’t tear into it like the core of the Erebus but they could bend space around them and you still get that sweet faster then light travel.
“I was in the nexus once reading about the first core test,” I started. “Yeah how was that?” Hayden asked.“It was a failure, a scientist was messing around bending the laws of physics in his lab and then without any shielding or anything forced the atoms in his experimental drive to jump. It created a massive crater in the university his lab was in. It would take years before they figured out what had actually happened and by then we had already begun reverse engineering from the Skrav."
“Hit the switch already, I’m planning to attend a test for new prototype carbine tonight,” Hayden said. It amazed me that we were always building new weapons. Human’s specialized in finding ways to hunt. I guess that is why other species always liked to call us the Ter.
I flip the diagnostics switch and begin booting up the ignition. Nothing. “Damn thing won’t kick,” I say before I start beating the console with my fist. “Calm down just means we need to go boot it manually,” Hayden said, “You know we fixed the hull this place should pressurize soon we won’t be stuck in these helmets forever.” Hayden only reminded me how much I hated being in tight spots. You would think living on a starship half my life I would get over that. I could never stop thinking about the open air on Errikus. I could never stop thinking how amazing it was to look out over the horizon. I took it for granted and now it was gone. Chances were slim to none that I would ever see over a horizon again for the rest of my life. The closest we had was a simulation. A massive room created in a virtual reality where we could feel free; it wasn’t much but it was something to look forward to. We also had 'rift' technology. Visors much like the one I wore when working with the nexus that showed us a virtual world. The downside the 'rift' tech was we could only move with console controls. The whole system seemed dated and analog compared to the rest of the ship.
Gravity inside the drop ship was slim to none. We were held down only by the inertia. Drop ships had no real reason for artificial gravity. Everything could be placed in molds or fastened down. I made my way to the back of the ship and slowly opened a panel in the wall. Inside there was small console that would allow someone to jump the ship without running a computer diagnostic. Usually this was ill advised.
“Ten seconds till they restart,” I quickly put the panel up and kicked off the wall jettisoning myself forward to the front of the ship.
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 I remember they use to count down like that during the first spaceflights. I had seen one before, it was through someone else’s eyes of course but it was amazing. Nothing but forward momentum pushed by an explosion. We strapped bombs to ships and flew to the stars.
“There’s the kick!” I shouted as we began to move. Time seemed to stand still for those moments. We were bending the universe to our will and in a way it felt as if it was screaming at us. It was something else... The universe itself set a speed limit... no ship except for maybe a few exots, the Skrav, us and maybe ancient ships built by the Lethe could travel as fast as we were now. The universe around us looked like a haze of glowing light. Gotta love loopholes in the laws of nature.
Just like that we were back. The Erebus and her child the Aelita before us. How I wanted to turn us towards the Aelita. All these years. All my training. There was still nothing I wanted more.
“You can’t do it Sev,” Hayden said. I could only wonder if I had always been so easy to read or if Hayden and Balkava just knew me so well they were the only ones.
“I know, I just wonder how she is, I still dream about her you know, I still dream about all of us... even Dom,” my voice began to crack. It had been years since I had said his name aloud.
It took me my entire first year to figure out what was really a dream and what was something I had seen in the nexus. 'What is a dream, what makes something in the nexus real? We know that the few times we see the future they are only small pieces, snippets usually there is nothing but darkness, sometimes it’s only a day or more. We know every time we see the future and become aware of it we change it. If I see you drop a glass and I tell you about it then you have a choice. Do you let the glass fall? Do you let it break knowing you could save it?' My mind wandered all the time wondering what the hell it was I was doing. Among other things I would wonder if anybody had seen Dom die. I wonder if there was some message out there somewhere in the universe warning us not to go down to the river. I wonder if a user would even care. We were required to report everything we saw anyway. If we saw something no matter how insignificant it was recorded. In the end all we had was a blurry photograph of our future.
Back in the hangar we began to walk out the portside of the drop ship. The small bulkhead that separated us from the vacuum of space hissing and depressurizing from inside. We still had our entire suits including helmets on. "We did a shoddy job patching the ship. They are going to have to melt down an Anton to replace it." "Hopefully no one decides to take this ship for
a joyride." Balkava and Bloch were first to greet us and congratulate us on a mission well done. They were collecting data now and would know more about the object and it’s origin in a few hours. They were already preparing another drop ship and crew to go out and study it. The small pieces of debris we collected were made out of the same red material found in ruins on Errikus. Red flowers. That was what they called them. All over the planet there were sites and excavations scattered. The Lethe had left behind small buildings here and there - nothing special but who knows. There could have been entire outposts buried beneath the ground. All of it was nothing more than a distant memory now.
“If we could build a ship out of that stuff we would be unstoppable,” Hayden said collecting the sample in a tube. His hands were shaking. He must have been anxious or nervous about it. We barely had enough collected to fashion a knife; chances of a starship were slim to none. “Let’s hope the Skrav never figure that out,” I told him. This only seemed to make his hand shake worst. He collected all of it and within ten maybe fifteen minutes there was a repair crew out of stasis working on the shuttle. Our mission was over.
-----I stood naked next to Balkava standing inside the simulation room. I had decided tonight I didn’t feel like holding onto her. I was keeping my distance but this was routine. She would have known something was way off had I not come. She may have been a few years older then me but she still looked younger. Time had been gracious to her and in the past ten years she had barely aged a day. I wondered if she was like this with anyone else. I knew every inch of her body and she knew every inch of mine. We had started seeing each other a few years ago. I graduated from being a student, trainee, cadet, or whatever you want to call it and became a fullfledged partner. For a while we were equals in every way. Then she became the youngest elder in history. Now the only time we are equal is like this. There were other women onboard but none held my interest like her. In a way maybe I did love her.
A few times she had joked about having kids. At least I thought she was joking then she started talking about saving the human race. Who would want to bring anyone into a world like this? The idea disgusted me enough I almost stopped seeing her completely, but she agreed to back down. Duty came first. Her body was beautiful but she was still scared. Her face, her arms, her legs, even below her stomach she had gashes that would never completely go away. Her body was a testament to the war and each line a story. Her scars reminded me of something else. There was something in the past buried deep. I was constantly seeing bits and pieces every time I used the nexus. It made me want to use it more and more. I was going from two hours a day to twelve. I thought about it constantly. As far as I knew I was the only one that had recurring visions.
There was a man. There was a war. There was a city burning into ashes.
Depravity Dear Mother,
Anna here, I was going to see you the other day but it wouldn't stop raining. I have gotten another letter from Joseph since. I hope you are all right with me keeping hold of the letters. When I see his handwriting it makes me feel close to him. Though I know I will be visiting soon Joseph told me to write to you. I am. I'll just quote most of this…
"Dear Anna, my darling. I can't tell you where I am or but I have been promoted and put on an important assignment. I am even typing on a Signal Corps typewriter, just some of the new equipment we just had brought in. I was supposed to go on leave but instead I will be going out in another twelve hours. Right now I have enough time to grab a meal, write to you and get some good sleep. The officer tent is a whole lot nicer then the regular barracks. It smells of lavender instead of sweat and I swear the beds are warmer. I am sorry I won't be coming home to you so soon. I hope you can forgive me. This is something that they said will help us win the war. That means even though I won't be home to you I can stop leaving again and again. For that reason alone I will keep fighting. I have seen more then most anyway. Did you know they are letting children enlist now? I feel like if this doesn’t end soon it never will.
We saw combat the other day. I was part of an assault wave and soon after we landed I killed two Jerry's. I managed to pick up a few souvenirs from them as well. Aside from that I have spent much of my detail on patrol. The ruins of depravity. That's what we call it. Its always nothing more then in and out. I'm just thankful I am out of the trenches. I don't think anything could be worst then going back there. If hell was a place on Earth.
I want to win this war. I want to come home to you and have children with you. I know there is an angel looking out for me but knowing should anything happen that I would meet you on the other side. Tell my mother and father I miss them. I love you all - you all keep me going. Thank you.
I am sorry I am not coming home.
- Joseph Everett." Those were all his words not mine. If I could I would tell him to come home. It doesn't have to be him. I would tell him how much he is needed here. I would tell him he's been gone three years and it is too long. I would tell him he needs to visit your grave. We are all that keeps him going but we are falling apart. I don't know if I can keep this secret anymore.
- Anna Everett
10 April 44
I had been fighting this war long enough to know when I was
being hunted. We were clearing a path behind enemy lines beating and bombing our way to Berlin. When the war began I joined not because it was my duty, I had no choice. It was fight or flight. I run from no one. When I first crossed the ocean and landed on the blood drenched shores of bad wolf I was putting a notch on my gun for every Jerry I killed. I had to stop when I lost count.
A Jerry sniper sits in the ruins of Depravity. I can see him through my scope. The M1 Garand, or more specifically M1E with M84 telescope and T-37 flash suppressor, my instrument of death. He doesn't sit long. The sound of my bullet echoes through the cracks and walls inside the city. A flock of pigeons fly into the air from the ground below me. I had spent two days inside the stomach of depravity waiting, being both the prey and the predator.
I climbed the wooden ladder to the snipers position. He sat in front of me still alive but barely breathing. "Sorry I missed," I said to him before taking his life with my pistol. I wasn't really sorry it was him or me and if he lived he would have killed any number of my brothers. Depravity wasn't a city for men. The moment you enter you forfeit your soul. You can smell the decay of flesh, fire and ashes that mysteriously start and stop for no reason at all. Black dust blows in the air from where entire buildings once stood. A town hall here and a shoe polisher there, a bread and basket store, even a flower shop that now stands with nothing more then a frail frame and broken glass. Even after executing the sniper I can't shake the feeling of being hunted as if the city itself is devouring me whole.
Anna, my wife if she could see the horrors I have done to people in the name of patriotism. In the name of values I once held so dear. I could have gone home to her. I should have gone home to her but I wouldn't be the same man. I couldn't face her. I am too weak for that. All I can do is hope that she will be able to go on without me. I wanted once to have a family, a child. Now I just want to end this for her. Time will heal all wounds. She will cry over me but one day she will move on. She will find a man to love her and make her whole in a way I never could anymore. If I am lucky, which I am probably not I will meet her on the other side of the gate... or at least on her bequest be given grace to speak kind words to her.
We entered the city at night. There were six others in my squad. Two were French; they were on loan from the resistance fighting back there. Another was Australian, another British, and like me the last one our commanding officer was American. We made our way through the ruins slowly. It was a mass grave. Bodies had been cindered. Some were bleeding out still, unable to scream or speak they watched us like the dead as we walked through what was once there home or work. We were making our way to an underground bunker. It was there we heard the Nazis had been planning something big. A smaller sect, worshippers of the occult and black magic rule
d depravity. We heard they were running experiments on captured soldiers and Jews. We had no idea what we would find but we knew it would be disturbing to say the least. We had busted other sects similar to what we knew about this one... the Thule society, the Vril, the Black Suns. Each of them believed there was a black force or superior intellect driving their actions. They were all just murderers and monsters.
The bunker was bombed but our Intel told us it was so far underground we should expect a small resistance. This meant sneaking in with stealth. Without our guns we made our way down, breaking necks and slitting throats. It was dirty work. When we entered the heart of their sanctuary we found bodies laid out along the floor. Some were covered, others had arms, legs, organs removed. It was a butcher shop. There in the center of the room was a naked girl. There was a green glow from where her eyes should have been. Her thighs and wrists had been slit. She stared at us not saying a word just barely breathing. Faint crying breathes that seemed to whistle.
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