by Lisa Jackson
“And you still don’t!” Virginia said, then stared straight at Beth. “Jenner doesn’t believe you, you know. He thinks you’re nothing but a fortune hunter, and though you’ve turned his head for a while, it won’t last. Because, deep down, he knows the truth and he’ll find a way to prove it.” Virginia whirled on her heel and walked swiftly toward the ranch house.
“Don’t listen to her,” Casey advised. “She’s been a basket case since Dad died. Maybe even before.”
“She hates me.”
“She hates the world.” Casey sighed. “Things didn’t turn out the way she’d planned. People showed their true colors. Her husband didn’t turn out to be Prince Charming and her kids weren’t perfect little angels.” Casey cast a glance back at her mother, who was making her way into the house. “But none of us should pay her any mind. Especially you. I’ve seen the way Jenner looks at you, Beth, and he’s never, ever looked at a woman the way he looks at you. Not even Nora Bateman. As for Mom, she’s just going through this thing... what with Dad’s death and all. She’ll accept you. Eventually.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Beth replied, not really certain if she wanted to be condoned by Jenner’s mother.
“Give it time. Believe me, anyone who can put up with Jenner is a saint in my book.”
“You think he’s that bad?”
“Are you kidding?” Casey’s eyes twinkled. “He’s the worst!”
“I heard that,” Jenner said as he came from the barn. He was leading an old gray horse with Cody perched atop.
“Good. Then maybe you’ll straighten up.”
He darted a quick, sexy glance at Beth. “Never.”
“Hopeless,” Casey said under her breath. “Hey, Hillary!” Casey waved an arm wildly at her niece. “Looks like you’ve got yourself some competition.”
“I ride, Mommy!” Cody yelled excitedly.
“Big deal.” Hillary wasn’t impressed.
“It is a big deal,” Dani assured her.
“He’s just a baby.” Hillary tossed her hair and nudged her palomino’s sides.
“Am not! Big boy!” Cody replied, then ignored his cousin completely. So wrapped up in riding the gray horse, he didn’t catch one of the dozen superior looks cast in his direction.
“Dani’s good with kids,” Beth said to Casey as the horses slowed. Both children protested loudly and refused to climb off their mounts.
“Yeah. She seems to have a thing about ‘em.” Casey frowned a little. “She once said something to me about her husband, Jeff, not wanting any. At least not right away, but I think she’d have a dozen of ’em.”
“A dozen’s a lot,” Beth said, but understood Dani’s feelings. Wasn’t her own biological clock ticking? Wouldn’t she love a sibling for Cody—a new baby for her to cuddle? She watched Dani as she helped Hillary from the saddle. Dani had been wild in her youth. There had been stories about her and talk of a child she’d given up for adoption. No one but Dani knew the truth, and Beth hadn’t listened too much to the town gossip as she’d experienced her share of it over the years.
“Come on, pardner, you need to meet Gary. He’s one of the hands and he’ll show you how to brush a horse,” Jenner said, leading the old gray toward the barn.
“It’s amazing,” Casey said. “He’s so good with Cody.”
“Yes.” Beth’s heart swelled.
“Who would’ve guessed?”
Not me. Not in a thousand years.
“The next thing you know he’ll want to settle down and have another one.”
Beth’s heart caught.
With a sigh, Casey slapped the top rail of the fence. “It must be nice, knowing what you want.” Raking her fingers through her hair, she gazed across the paddock. “Mom was right about that, though I hate to admit it. I never have been able to figure out what I should be doing with the rest of my life.”
Little footsteps sounded in the dust. “You see me ride, Mommy?” Cody asked as he approached.
“I sure did.”
“I want a horse.”
“Of your own?” She glared up at Jenner, certain the idea had sprouted with him, but he lifted his hands off his crutches to express his perplexity, as if this was news to him.
“Cody’s idea,” Jenner said.
“We’re still debating on a puppy.”
“Want a puppy, too. And kitties. You got kitties.” He looked eagerly at Casey.
“Hey, slow down,” Beth admonished. “One at a time.” She checked her watch. “I think we should go. He missed his nap.”
“No!” Cody cried.
“Right after a hamburger and French fries!” Jenner promised as he swung the boy off his feet and plopped him onto the top rail of the fence. He held him steady while Cody whooped and squirmed in delight.
“Now who’s spoiling him?” Beth said, and Casey chuckled.
“I wish I had a picture. My brother—the father.” She winked at Beth. “Take my advice. Run now while you still can. He can’t catch you now, but once he gets off those sticks, he’ll be hell on wheels again.”
“Thanks a lot.” Jenner’s voice dripped sarcasm, but he flashed his off-center smile at his sister as he covered their bags with a tarp and glanced at the dark sky. “Okay, let’s go. Can’t keep Grandma waiting.”
“See Grandma!” Cody said, running to the truck, and Beth couldn’t help thinking of Virginia McKee and her dislike—no, hatred—of her grandson.
As they drove into town, the first raindrops splattered against the windshield, and by the time they’d finished a quick dinner at the Shady Grove Café and Jenner had pulled into the driveway of Harriet’s little cottage, the storm was in full force, wind blowing, rain peppering the ground. Cody had fallen asleep in the seat between them, and when Beth reached over to take hold of him, Jenner’s hand caught her wrist.
She looked up and found herself staring into blue eyes that were dark with confusion. “What do we do now?” he asked.
Love bloomed in her heart. “I guess we take it one step at a time.”
His jaw tightened. “To what end?”
“Whatever we want.”
“Then maybe I should make something clear,” he said, releasing her and letting out his breath. He held on to the steering wheel in a death grip and stared through the water sheeting on the windshield.
Beth could barely breathe. Something was wrong—horribly wrong. The carefree and loving Jenner she’d known at the lodge was gone and the hard man, the lone cowboy, had returned.
His voice was solemn. “I don’t think I’m what you’re hoping for,” he said, weighing his words carefully. “I’m nothing more than what I look like—a broken-down, washed-up cowboy who owns nothing. I’ve got a little bit of land, not a whole lot, and probably less than two thousand dollars in the bank. My family is always there to help me out, of course, but I’ve never taken and will never take their charity. Even though I’m going to work for Max and see a few doctors, there’s no guarantee that I’ll ever walk again without a wheelchair or crutches or something.” His knuckles showed white over the steering wheel. “I’ve never wanted a wife or a kid or anything that would tie me down. And maybe if things were different...” He scowled. “If I was independent—hell, if I could walk again—I’d feel differently, but right now...”
Her throat clogged, and as he turned his eyes to her, she saw the pain in their blue depths. She couldn’t help but reach forward and place her hand against his cheek. He grabbed it and held it against his warm flesh, then turned his head and kissed her palm, leaving a warm impression. “I can’t stand the idea of being half a man.”
“You’re not!”
“And I can’t stand the thought of anyone pitying me—especially not the woman I’m involved with.”
She couldn’t help the edge of anger in her voice. “Do you think I’m sticking around because I pity you? Because I feel sorry for you?” she asked, astounded. After the past three days together, how could he even begin to believe s
uch nonsense?
“Why are you sticking around?”
“Because—” Because I love you! “—because of Cody. I—I don’t want him to grow up always wondering. Not knowing his father...like me.”
“I knew mine. It was no picnic.”
“Maybe not, but...” Finally she understood. He was telling her as gently as possible that it was over, that they’d had their fun, that yes, he did care a little, but it was over. For her. For Cody. Oh, God! Her heart squeezed painfully and she swallowed against the lump suddenly forming in her throat. “I—I’d better go....” Condensation had begun to cloud the windows as the rain continued to fall.
“Would you stay here?”
“Pardon?”
“In Rimrock. You could get a job. Skye needs help at the clinic. I could see Cody. We could try—”
“I don’t think so,” she said quickly when she heard the doubt in his voice. She wouldn’t live the life her mother had lived, the subject of small-town gossip. Without another thought, she lifted her son onto her lap. This wasn’t the time for goodbyes or making plans. Not after all the emotional ups and downs she’d experienced since returning to Rimrock. She knew that Jenner felt something for her and she didn’t doubt that he would come to love his son, but the argument with Virginia and the chip on Jenner’s shoulder about the use of his legs were too much to deal with right now. She needed time alone to think. To sort out what she really wanted and what would be best for Cody.
“You don’t have to go—”
“I think it would be best. Mom’s expecting me and—”
“I mean you don’t have to leave Rimrock.”
“You want me to stay?”
He didn’t answer, just stared at her long and hard, as if he couldn’t decide whether to trust her or not. Although he’d seemed to believe in her at the lodge, now that he was back in Rimrock, things had changed. He’d changed. “I want you to do what’s best for the boy.”
The boy. Not our son, just the boy. “I—I’ll think about it,” she whispered as she reached for the door handle. Jenner glanced at the rain and struggled out of his jacket. “Here, you can cover him with this. I’ll get your bag.”
“It’s no trouble. I can manage—”
“I said I’ll handle it.” Jenner’s voice was firm, his eyes narrowed, and she didn’t argue with him.
Let him carry the damn bag if it made him feel whole. How could he believe that she cared if he ever walked without the use of crutches? After all they’d shared, why would he think that she pitied him, that he couldn’t be a husband or father or—That thought caught her up short. Husband? As if they’d ever discussed marriage. Jenner McKee wasn’t the marrying kind and she was foolish to think that he would ever change. If she was to stay in Rimrock, she would have to settle for a little part of him, for having an affair, for being one name among many in a little black book. And Cody would know the truth, learn that the man who had sired him didn’t care enough about his mother to marry her, that he had other women, maybe even other children. Oh, Lord. She blinked hard, then opened the door. With a firm hold on Cody, she stepped out into the rain. Cody cried out as the rain hit him and the jacket slipped down to the ground.
“Oh, Lord...”
“I’ll get it,” Jenner said, but he slipped a little as his crutch caught the edge of a pothole. Still holding Cody, Beth bent down and retrieved the jacket by the lining. A manila envelope slid out of the inside pocket.
She heard Jenner’s sharp intake of breath as she grabbed the dripping packet and the contents fell out onto the wet driveway. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” Her name swam before her eyes, and for a second she didn’t realize what it was that she was reading. But as she picked up the soggy pages and recognized copies of her birth certificate, her report cards, credit reports, various other typed documents and Cody’s birth certificate, she froze.
“You—you had me investigated?” she stammered, turning to face him as rain ran down the back of her neck and Cody, blinking against the drops in his face, began to cry.
Jenner’s face was stony, his eyes without emotion. “I asked Rex Stone to look into your background.”
“Why?”
“Because I thought you were a fake.”
“Even though your grandmother...” she began, then words failed her. They would never trust each other, she realized, and he would always have trouble believing that Cody was his. Even if all the tests pointed to him, Cody would still be his bastard, his mistake, the reason he had to keep seeing Beth.
“I told Stone to back off,” he said.
“But not until you got what you wanted.”
Tossing the offensive documents back into the mud, she held her son close to her breast, protecting his head from the rain just as she wished she could protect his innocent heart. “I think you’d better leave.”
“I can’t.”
“Like hell. You didn’t want us involved in your life and that’s just fine with me. You and all your family can go to hell!” She turned but he caught her arm, spinning her back against him.
“Beth—”
“Don’t, okay? Just don’t.”
He kissed her then. His wet lips captured hers in a kiss that threatened to draw the life from her body. She felt the passion, the raw desire that he inspired, and her heart shattered into a million pieces. With all the strength she could muster, she broke away, and her hand drew back as if to slap him.
“Mommy!” Cody cried and Beth let her hand drop to her side.
Jenner’s expression was harsh. “Listen, I don’t want you to think, I mean, I’ll take care of you and Cody. I—”
“What? You feel obligated? You feel responsible?”
“Hell, yes!”
“Too late, Jenner. Cody and I, we don’t need you!” That was a lie. Both she and her son needed him on the most basic of levels. “Just leave us alone.”
“I can’t.”
“Well, you’ll have to.”
“No way!” His fingers tightened over her forearm. “That boy’s mine, too, and—”
“Oh, so you finally believe me.”
“I want to be a part of his life.”
“What life?” she demanded, her voice catching. “I won’t allow him to be ridiculed by the people of this town, nor will I have your mother treating him like something that should be swept under the rug. He’s my son, Jenner. Mine!” She hooked her thumb at her chest. “You made your noble gesture, but now you can just bow out.” Balancing Cody, she reached into the back of the truck and yanked out her bags, tossing them onto the soggy ground.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he insisted, the rain slashing down his face. “You can’t take my son away.”
“Watch me!” Grabbing one bag she spun around and ran up the steps to the front porch. Water washed down her face and she didn’t know if it was raindrops falling from the dark sky or her own tears flowing down her cheeks.
Chapter Twelve
The Black Anvil with its smoky atmosphere and loud patrons didn’t lift his spirits. Jenner had downed one beer and was nursing his second. After the fight with Beth, he’d driven back to the Rocking M and, keeping silent about his problems, worked with Max on blueprints for the new stables. Max, sensing something was wrong, but smart enough not to pry, had told him that the investigation into the arson and Jonah’s murder was still progressing. The list of suspects was narrowing, even though the leads offered by would-be snitches for their share of the reward had heretofore been busts. Max was still keeping security tight on the ranch, but nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Jenner hadn’t stayed at the Rocking M for dinner and instead had wound up at the saloon with the regulars. Slim Purcell was shooting pool with Fred Donner. Elvin Green occupied his usual stool, and Cyrus Kellogg, Jeff Stewart and a few others clustered at a couple of tables and griped about hunting restrictions.
Jenner wondered where Beth was and if she’d already taken off for the Willamette Valley.
The thought depressed him and he tried to think of his life without her—the life he’d found so appealing before she’d shaken up his world. And what about the boy? How could he go on from day to day knowing that there was a kid out there—his kid—who needed to be raised properly, with a father? He couldn’t help but smile when he thought of the little blond scamp and hoped old Jonah was roasting in hell for trying to screw up his grandson’s life.
He saw a movement in the mirror over the bar. Jake was drawing another beer for Jimmy Rickert’s glass and Jimmy glanced at Jenner before looking quickly away.
“Think that’s about it,” Jake said as he slid the mug over to Jimmy. “This is your last.”
“You cuttin’ me off?” Jimmy’s speech was already slurred, but that was a normal state. “Hell, I’m one of your best customers.”
“That’s why your next drink is coffee. And you might want to settle up your tab.”
“Shiii—” He bit off his curse as his eyes met Jenner’s in the mirror again. This time he didn’t look away. “Well, McKee, surprise, surprise. I thought you gave up hangin’ out here.”
“I have,” Jenner said, startled at his admission. The Black Anvil held no appeal for him anymore and he was sorry he’d shown up. Ignoring the rest of his beer, he left some bills on the bar as Jake fiddled with the knobs on the television mounted near the ceiling.
“Too good for the rest of us since your woman blew back into town?”
Every muscle in Jenner’s body tensed.
Jimmy, seeing Jenner’s reaction, cackled. “Didn’t think we knew, did ya? Hear ya got yourself a son.” Another cackle of malicious laughter. “Pr’bly got seven or eight strung out along the ol’ rodeo circuit, eh?”
“You’re listening to gossip, Jimmy. Never a good idea.”
“Yeah, well, I hear a lot. Keep my ears open.” His grin was wide. Sly. Teasing. He knew something, all right, and he was enjoying having one over on Jenner. Jimmy reached into his breast pocket for a crumpled pack of cigarettes and lit up. Plucking a piece of tobacco from his tongue, he blew smoke to the ceiling. “Learn more’n I should sometimes, if ya get my drift.” Puffing out a smoke ring, he slid Jenner another knowing glance. “Anyone collect on that reward yet?”