Michael didn’t budge. “Do you want to change my mind about you?”
“I don’t know,” Gavin lied.
“Then, yes. I’m ready to go,” Michael said with a nod and stood. He grabbed the check before Gavin could get to it and was headed to the register without a backward glance. Gavin wanted to argue, but he couldn’t stop staring at Michael’s ass. His chest ached. There were tons of gorgeous men in the world. Gavin traveled all over for games. He could meet someone else, but Michael was the one who wouldn’t leave his head. He’d seen Gavin at his worst and hadn’t backed down until Gavin had tossed him away. Yes, he wanted Michael to change his mind about him. That was something that couldn’t be forced. Gavin wasn’t giving up.
Chapter Three
Being nervous wasn’t a new state for Gavin. He was a wreck every time he stepped out onto the ice in front of thousands of fans. This was different. Whereas Michael might’ve punched him in the balls and spit in his face at seeing him again, Marshall was just as likely to kill him. Gavin wasn’t sure which of the twins it was more painful to see, but if he wanted to win back the one he wanted, he’d have to apologize to both. Damn, every time he thought of Michael, his entire body tightened with desire. It was more than lust. He’d never stopped feeling like—wherever Michael was—he belonged to him. But the way Michael had looked at dinner—skinny jeans and tight Henley. Fuck. He was still sexier than any man Gavin had ever met. More than anything, it was Michael’s eyes. Gavin had never seen anyone else have the exact green that Michael did. Those eyes were gorgeous and mesmerizing. They’d always seen into Gavin’s soul. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for one more shot, including this.
Even though it was October, it was a typical New Orleans day. The sun shone brightly and boiled the air to eighty-five degrees. He’d called ahead, letting his dad know he was coming, so getting entrance into the Land Sharks’ stadium wasn’t an issue. There were a few people in the stands, watching practice. Gavin headed straight for the field. Having a father as the coach of a pro football team had its perks. In this case, it made it hard for Marshall to avoid him.
Everyone called Gavin’s dad Coach, even his kids and wife. Most people had parents. Gavin had a man who directed players on a field. The man’s dark blonde hair seemed lighter in the sunlight with his head bent over a dry-erase board. Almost as if he sensed Gavin’s presence, his dad’s head lifted, and his amber gaze moved Gavin’s way.
The man smiled like the cameras were watching. “Hey, son. I see you made it inside okay.”
“Yes, sir,” Gavin said, moving to stand at his side. He eyed the players on the field. “How are you feeling about this year’s lineup?”
Mimicking his pose, his dad’s gaze moved over the men running plays. “I’m always optimistic. Marshall has stepped up well with our starter out.”
Gavin nodded, hoping he didn’t throw up. Marshall was the son his father should’ve had. “I knew he would.”
“What made you decide to come by today?” his dad asked, obviously done with the small talk.
“Thought I’d see how you’re doing and wish Marshall good luck.” It was the best Gavin could come up with. Coach wasn’t involved enough in Gavin’s life to know Marshall hated him these days. He’d hated him ever since the night Gavin’s life had fallen apart.
“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, hanging around here until I got back.”
Goddamn. Gavin’s head swam. He didn’t know what to do or say. Marshall had forgiven him for a lot of shit over the years, but it didn’t look like this would be one of those things. “I wanted to explain.”
“Explain what?” Marshall growled. “I’m not stupid or blind, Gavin. All your stories about how you couldn’t sleep and ran to the store—bullshit. Twice I saw you leaving his bedroom, but I said nothing. Every time you look at him, it’s in your eyes. He’s my brother.”
“I know,” Gavin said, hearing the defeat in his voice.
“Was David right?”
Gavin scrubbed his hands through his hair, trying to hold his shit together. “You know me better than anyone. David doesn’t know me.”
There was so much anger and hurt in Marshall’s eyes. Gavin hated himself even more, and he hadn’t thought that was possible. “I’m trying to be different. Goddamn it. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Instead, I’m hurting everyone.” Especially himself, and Gavin couldn’t take it any longer.
“Don’t come back here, Gavin. There’s nothing left for you here.”
“He’s about to come off the field for the day,” Coach said, pulling Gavin from the memory of the last time he’d spoken to Marshall. As if making good on his word, Coach blew his whistle and waved Marshall in. Marshall pulled off his helmet as he jogged their way.
His familiar green gaze slid Gavin’s way. He might be Michael’s twin, but Marshall’s eyes weren’t an exact match. Gavin knew the difference. “Hey, man. What’s up?” Without waiting for Gavin to answer, he focused on Coach. “What’s next?”
“That’s it for the day.”
Marshall nodded and switched his focus Gavin’s way. “It’s been a while.”
Gavin smiled. His chest hurt. “You’ve been busy getting famous.” Marshall flashed him a bright smile but didn’t respond. Marshall had always been the humble sort. Gavin moved out of earshot of his dad, and Marshall followed. He didn’t waste time coming to the point. Marshall didn’t want him around. Not really, and Gavin didn’t want to be there. “Two things, and I’ll leave you in peace. I know it’s too little too late, but I wanted to apologize for everything.”
Marshall nodded. His good humor never faded. He was the personable twin. Funny how that had always been a turn off for Gavin. He liked Michael’s deep intensity—the passionate twin. “It’s been years, Gavin. No one cares about high school shit anymore.”
Even though that wasn’t remotely true, Gavin still breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s good you feel that way, because I need Michael’s number.” There were easier ways he could’ve gotten it, but he needed to deal with Marshall.
Marshall’s smile brightened, as if he relished the moment. “No.”
He’d expected as much. “Okay. It was good seeing you again.” Gavin moved to walk away.
Marshall spoke up, stopping him. “That’s it? I tell you no, and you accept my answer? You don’t deserve him because you’ve never had any desire to fight for him.”
Confusion kept Gavin frozen in place. His brow furrowed. “It’s not like I can beat his number out of you.”
“You could try,” Marshall shot back.
“Michael and I have mutual friends. I can get it from one of them. The only reason I came here first is because Michael said I should come see you, and I realized I’ve never apologized. I hoped to kill two birds with one stone, but I’ll go elsewhere.”
“Wait,” Marshall said, sounding confused. “You talked to Michael?”
Gavin nodded. “We had dinner last night.”
“Oh.” All humor was gone from Marshall’s expression. So much for high school shit not meaning anything.
“He’s always been the one, Marsh. I know you don’t understand.” Gavin moved to walk away again.
Marshall called out, stopping him. “His number is the same as it’s always been. He’s never changed it.”
The smile tugging at the corners of Gavin’s mouth was out of his control. “You won’t be sorry, and for the record, my number is the same too.”
Marshall shook his head, confirming Gavin’s thoughts he’d never call. “I’m already sorry, by the way,” he yelled at Gavin’s back.
Gavin turned and walked backward, heading for the tunnel. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell him we spoke.”
“You don’t know him anymore,” Marshall said, trying for one more dig.
“And you’ve never really known me,” Gavin said with a shrug. “None of that changes a thing.”
With a shake of his head, Marshall turned his back on Gavin, freeing him from
this nightmare. Gavin jogged for the tunnel. His phone burned a hole in his pocket. Michael’s number was still programed there. He was one step closer to heaven.
#1HatTrick: What did you do last night?
MichaelThePA: Hey. How are you? I had dinner with a guy I used to know.
#1HatTrick: I’m good. Someone you used to know? How did that go?
MichaelThePA: He was my twin’s best friend. I’m not sure how it went, to be honest. What did you do?
#1HatTrick: I sense a story. Spent some time working out with friends.
MichaelThePA: Too long of a story to tell. Did you have fun?
#1HatTrick: I suppose. If you want to tell your long story, I have time.
MichaelThePA: Maybe I should’ve said it’s too painful of a story to tell.
#1HatTrick: So it’s like that?
MichaelThePA: Yeah, it was. Really, though, I blame myself. I knew he was a dick before I let him get under my skin. It won’t happen again.
#1HatTrick: How long ago was this?
MichaelThePA: 6 years.
#1HatTrick: People change.
MichaelThePA: Maybe. Have you gotten any supplies for our camp?
Gavin: Don’t ask how I knew your number is the same.
Michael: I see yours is too. How did you find out my number is the same?
Gavin: I said not to ask.
Michael: You’re not the boss of me.
Gavin: Damn, you still make me smile. Have lunch with me.
Michael: Why?
Gavin: Because I’m hungry.
Michael: No. Why do you want to have lunch with me?
Gavin: Because I hate you too.
Michael: When and where?
Gavin: I’ll pick you up.
“You still have the old Jeep,” Gavin said the moment Michael let him inside. Michael hated the way his stomach muscles tightened and butterflies stirred the instant he set eyes on Gavin. The man’s tight black t-shirt and worn jeans did nothing to help matters.
“Yeah, it’s still in good shape and there’s no nicer vehicle than a paid for vehicle.”
“You always were the smart one,” Gavin said. “I wish it would’ve rubbed off on me. The SUV I’m driving now is nowhere near being paid off, and I probably won’t keep it that long.”
“Why am I not surprised you get bored with things quickly?”
A line appeared between Gavin’s eyes as if confused by Michael’s question. “No. It’s a gas guzzler.”
A hint of guilt wormed its way in. He shouldn’t have agreed to this date if he planned to be a dick for every second of it. Michael tried to do better. “Would you like for me to drive, then?”
“Nope,” Gavin said, sounding happy again. “It just struck me as odd to see the old Jeep sitting in the driveway of this house, because this is one hell of a house. Plus, I invited you. Are you ready? I need to stop and fill up first, but I have a plan.”
A surprise? Michael had to fight to hide his smile. Nothing exciting ever happened to him. The smallest hint of something different had him moving. He moved for the door and Gavin followed, eyeing everything they passed, as if he still couldn’t wrap his mind around the luxury. “I can’t take credit for the house,” Michael said as he pulled the front door closed behind them. He loved his beautiful home in the middle of nowhere. It was quiet and beyond anything he’d ever dreamed of having, but he didn’t own it. “It’s another part of my incentive package from Mara. She pays the rent.”
“This is a fucking rental?” Gavin asked, sounding slightly horrified. “Jesus. This easily a million-dollar house. That’s a hell of an incentive package.”
“Mara is one hell of a lady,” Michael said, incapable of hiding his pride. Maybe he didn’t have Gavin, but life hadn’t been a complete loss.
Gavin rushed ahead of him and opened the passenger side door of a dark-blue Escalade. A smile that felt shy, even to him, touched Michael’s lips as he climbed in and Gavin closed the door behind him. As he buckled his seat belt, Michael caught sight of a sketch pad on the back seat. He thought he remembered everything about Gavin, but he’d forgotten how Gavin never went anywhere without art supplies. Even as a teenager, Gavin had possessed immense talent. Curiosity was killing Michael. He wanted to skim through every page and see how much Gavin had grown. Michael made it as far as the gas station before breaking. While Gavin pumped the gas, Michael snatched up the pad and flipped it open. The first drawing was an elf, carrying a bow and draped in long robes. Something about it looked vaguely familiar, but Michael couldn’t place where he’d seen the drawing before. The next was a landscape of snowcapped mountains. It was so detailed Michael swore he could feel the chill in the air.
The door opened and Gavin slid behind the wheel. If he was the least bit put out by Michael going through his personal belongings, he didn’t show it, nor did he try to stop Michael. “You’re doing a lot of fantasy-themed drawings and people nowadays. It used to be mostly objects.”
“I like the way people’s expressions change. It’s challenging to try to capture emotion. Plus, it gives me something to do with my time,” Gavin said, sounding as if it wasn’t important.
Michael glanced over and caught a certain glint in Gavin’s eyes before he masked his thoughts. It didn’t matter what Gavin said—it mattered. Michael didn’t hide how impressed he was. “These are amazing. Truly. I’m sure you’re good at hockey, but I wish you were doing something with this instead. You should be sharing this with the world. I always thought you’d be happier in the art field.”
Gavin looked away, stealing Michael’s shot at seeing Gavin’s reaction to his words. “Art is just a hobby. No one will pay me to draw.”
That was Gavin’s dad talking. Michael recognized the tone. “You could’ve been an art teacher or a designer.”
Gavin flashed him a sweet smile as he fired the SUV to life. “It’s okay. I like what I do, and it might’ve killed my love for drawing and painting if I had to find a way to support myself with it. But, thank you. Your opinion means a lot to me.”
Even though Michael didn’t want to relinquish the sketch pad, he set it down on the backseat where he’d found it. He didn’t let the topic go as easily. “At the very least, your work should be on display somewhere.”
Gavin laughed as he turned right from the parking lot into traffic. “Now you’re just flattering me.”
“That’s not in my blood,” Michael shot back without thought. The last thing Gavin needed was someone stroking his ego. Hell would freeze before Michael was the one doing it.
Gavin went quiet long enough to make Michael regret his words. When he finally spoke, it was slow, as if confessing a dirty secret. “I’ve thought several times about trying to get my work in galleries, or at least having a few prints in stores. If nothing else, I might frame some stuff for my house.”
“You don’t even have it framed in your house?” Even Michael heard the disbelief in his voice. He didn’t know why it bugged him so much Gavin was still hiding that part of himself, but it did.
Gavin shrugged but kept his gaze locked on the road. “It’s been hard enough for my parents to swallow the fact that I’m gay. I’m just trying not to rock the boat any more than necessary. One of these days, I’ll get to be me. Maybe.”
It was hard for Michael to picture Gavin’s life. Michael’s parents had always known he was gay and didn’t care. He wanted to ask how things had gone when Gavin had finally come out, but he also felt the need to change the subject to happier times. Before he could think of a way to save their conversation, Gavin found a way to rescue them.
“What do you do in your spare time?”
Even though Gavin wasn’t looking at him, Michael still shrugged. “I don’t really have free time, per se. My life pretty much belongs to Mara, but I do have a lot of downtime while waiting to get her from point A to point B. Mostly, I just play games on my phone. I’m pretty boring these days.” Michael thought about it for half a second before adding, “I guess
I’ve always been boring. Why did you want to have lunch with me again?” he asked with a laugh.
“Hush,” Gavin said. Laughter shone heavily in his voice. “I think you’re amazing, always have.”
Just not as amazing as Marshall. That thought was like a shot to the chest. It took all of Michael’s willpower not to say it aloud. Instead, he focused on the road and tried his damnedest to keep the hurt from his voice. “Where are we headed?” There. Maybe he’d make it through this day after all.
Michael sounded so damn sad, and Gavin didn’t understand what he’d done wrong. He was always on thin ice with Michael. “You’ll see,” Gavin said, inflicting as much playfulness as he could into his voice. He couldn’t talk Michael around. The only way he’d win Michael was by proving himself. Today was the first step.
Michael shrugged and held his silence through the forty-five-minute drive. Even as they pulled into the parking lot of a park near the river, Michael didn’t say a word. He glanced around, taking in the sights. It was a perfect day for this.
With the SUV in park, Gavin fished around behind Michael’s seat and grabbed a cooler. “We’re having a picnic.”
The way Michael’s mouth lifted in one corner gave Gavin hope he’d made the right decision. Michael was like him—he loved the outdoors. Not only was this romantic, or so he’d been told, but it also gave them some privacy to talk. God knew they had a lot of shit they needed to say to each other.
“Where are we? This place seems familiar,” Michael said as they climbed from the SUV and headed for a nearby table.
Gavin set the cooler on the picnic table and looked around. It had been years since he’d been there. “This is the first place we met.”
A scoffing noise came from the back of Michael’s throat. “No, it’s not,” he argued as he threw one leg over the bench and sat sideways, holding Gavin’s stare. “The first place we met was gym class our Freshman year. You hit me with a volleyball because you were pissed off that you’d missed a shot when you jumped in front of me and knocked me out of the way.”
Clash Page 3