‘And that’s all?’ The hope in those whispered words tugged at his conscience like a gale-force wind rushing in off stormy seas, but he couldn’t yield to it, couldn’t let it affect him. Not when his childhood had taught him that those he loved always left him, making him lock his heart away. He didn’t deserve the happy ever after Lisa craved so much.
‘We had a good marriage, Lisa. We had passion—lots of it.’ He lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers; the soft sigh of desire she made only heightened his own, his need for her. ‘I warned you I didn’t go in for love and romance. You knew that before we married.’
‘I just thought...’ she said softly, the words dying on her lips as her eyes met his.
More than anything he wanted to kiss her again, to claim her as his once more, to show her that even while he couldn’t say words of love to her he desired her, wanted her in the most primal way a man could want a woman.
He shook his head. ‘Don’t overthink things, Lisa. We married because we couldn’t get enough of one another and now we will remain married because of our child. A child created with desire and passion so strong that neither of us could deny it then—or now.’
* * *
Lisa’s heart thumped so hard in her chest that she was sure it was echoing around the cosy cottage he’d presented her as a Christmas gift. Did he know that he was playing to her childhood insecurities by doing that? Did he know that in this house was all she’d ever wanted? Even the handsome man to live happily ever after with?
‘So this is all because I am carrying your child?’ The words sprang from her before she had time to think, time to work out this bizarre situation. The passion in the air around them evaporated and she was glad of that. Just now, kissing him under the mistletoe had been a mistake, one that had very nearly made her forget everything.
‘In part, yes, but also to show I can be in your life—in our child’s life.’ He touched her face again, sparking up the intense heat of passion. She wouldn’t be able to resist him, she knew that without any doubt, and before she ended up exactly where she’d vowed never to be again—in his bed—she wanted to clear things between them.
‘Is that to show you or me?’ A spark of defiance raced through her.
He frowned slightly, but the darkness of his eyes remained full of desire. ‘I deserve that.’
The moment of honesty almost fooled her, but she had her own honest moment to deal with first. ‘I never knew about your brother, the headlines. I wouldn’t have added to it all on the same day if I had.’
He sighed. ‘I just couldn’t think straight. So much was happening, so fast.’
A wave of sympathy curled through her. He’d had more than most men to deal with in recent weeks and she knew better than most what the past could do, how it could haunt you, colour your views and follow you through your life.
‘I have always wanted children, one day, although I am only too aware you don’t feel the same. I could never subject a child to the kind of childhood either of us experienced, but the fact is that I am pregnant and you made me feel that it was all my fault. We both drank too much wine, Max, both allowed ourselves to forget all we’d agreed on about being professional.’
‘More than a little wine.’ He smiled and her relief must have shown on her face. ‘Do you forgive me?’
He pressed his lips lightly on hers, testing her reaction.
‘Give me one good reason why I should,’ she teased, thankful the mood had lightened, the heady passion returning. All it took was one light kiss, one gentle touch, one desire-filled look and she was lost.
‘Because it’s Christmas Eve.’ He said the words between light kisses and she closed her eyes to the sensation of fire on her skin.
‘And?’ Her teasing became bolder.
‘And because I desire you more than any other woman.’ His eyes were darker than ever, the message of promised passion within them unmistakable. And didn’t she desire him too? Want him with a passion she’d never known possible until he’d come into her life?
‘And if I don’t want to be that woman?’ She challenged him, hurt blazing a trail through her as she remembered the time she’d first said words of love to him, fooled by their desire into letting him know that she was emotionally committed to him in a way he’d later made clear he didn’t want.
‘I think that you do.’ He brushed his lips over hers again and just as moments ago a soft sigh escaped her. She didn’t want to respond, didn’t want to convey her compliance with his wishes to him quite so emphatically, but she couldn’t help herself. The bold, teasing woman was gone, the passionate woman who loved him had returned. Whatever it was between them was still there, so didn’t that make staying married for the sake of the baby easier? If passion had once brought them together could it now bind them once more?
‘I’m not so sure,’ she said in a soft provocative whisper and smiled at him. ‘I think you might just have to prove that to me.’
It was just like that night two months ago, the night her baby had been conceived, all over again. One kiss, one caress and she became a melting puddle of need at his feet. She hated herself for wanting him, for wishing it could be more, but surely two parents who got on like this would be better than a family torn apart, living very different lives. Her own childhood had been like that and she didn’t want the same for her baby.
‘I do, do I?’ He laughed softly, a sexy deep sound that didn’t quite mask the words he’d just said to her, words he’d said once before but hadn’t truly meant.
‘Yes, you do.’ She pushed all her misgivings to the back of her mind. They had agreed on being together until New Year’s Eve and maybe that was just enough time to convince him there was more to their marriage—more to them—than passion.
‘In that case...’ He swept her from her feet and headed for the bedroom and the excitement in Lisa’s body intensified. She loved this man, wanted him with a passion, and all she had to do was break through his barriers and make him see that, make him feel it.
She looked around her as he placed her on the large bed covered in a festive throw and on the wall above it a trail of twinkling lights. Parcels done up with bright red ribbons adorned the window sill and beyond the cottage the darkness of the night was sparkled with stars. It was all so perfect, so romantic and she couldn’t help but lose herself in the moment. There might never be another like it, not with this man, the man she’d given her heart unconditionally to the day they’d met, the man who even now still held it—and always would.
She looked at him, deep into his eyes. ‘It’s Christmas Eve, Max. I want to forget everything else, to enjoy the magic that’s here in the cottage. Tonight all I want is you.’
‘How can I resist that?’ The feral tone of his voice left her in no doubt that he wanted her too.
‘Then don’t.’ She reached up and touched his face, belatedly realising what a loving gesture it was and sliding her fingers into his hair instead. To hide the rising emotions within her, she kissed him. Hard. Demanding his response. When it came, it took her breath away.
‘Never,’ he said against her lips, sending her heart-rate soaring. His arms pulled her close and, to cover up the love that was threatening to erupt within her, she slid her hands down his chest, to the suit jacket he wore, and pushed it off his shoulders as she had done with his overcoat.
This time, the heat of his body scorched her palms, pushing her on in the increasing heat of the dance of desire. As she kissed him, her tongue entwining with his, she pulled off his tie and opened his shirt buttons, until her hands touched the firmness of his chest.
He broke the kiss, with words of Spanish she didn’t understand, but she couldn’t allow him to see her face, couldn’t allow him to look into her eyes, not if she wanted to conceal the truth of her feelings for him. Whatever else happened tonight, he must not think she still hankered after love and happy ever afters with him. Keeping that to herself would give her strength and badly needed control.
> ‘I have no idea what you just said,’ she teased as she pulled back from him, glancing briefly into his desire-filled eyes before she pressed her lips to his chest.
‘That you are a temptress and, I might add, you are wearing far too many clothes.’ The deep guttural sound of his voice sent razor-sharp pins into her heart and at the same time set loose the heavy throb of desire from deep within her.
‘In that case...’ She moved back, flirting wildly with him. Anything other than let him see what she really felt. Then with a coy smile at him, she undid the buttons of her cream silk blouse. She could feel his eyes on her, feel the heat of his need coming from him in an electrifying mix of desire and command.
It gave her power. Power to hide her love. Power over him.
* * *
Max could barely contain himself as Lisa let the cream silk of her blouse slip to the floor, revealing the lacy cream bra that did nothing to conceal the peak of her nipples. His body hardened even more in response. Hell, he wanted her as he’d never wanted any woman before. She was his wife.
He watched as she slipped off her heels and then unzipped her skirt. The sound of the silky lining as it slipped to the floor around her feet was so loud in the charged atmosphere of the bedroom it raised the tension to almost explosive levels.
‘Stop,’ he said and moved toward her as confusion rushed over her face. ‘That’s enough—for now.’
Before she could remove her underwear he took her in his arms, pressing her near nakedness against his bare chest. He could feel the flatness of her stomach, where concealed within was his baby. The child he would do anything for.
Whatever happened, he had to win Lisa round, had to show her he could give her and the baby so much, that he would be there for his child in a way he himself had never known when he was younger.
‘For now?’ She breathed the question against his lips.
He pushed her gently back onto the bed. She didn’t resist and neither did she take her gaze from his. ‘I want to kiss you all over, to caress every bit of you. I want to show you how good we are together.’
‘But...’ she whispered and then hesitated.
‘Do you really expect me to walk away from you, Lisa, when you are carrying my child?’
Her green eyes filled with the sparkle of tears, but he knew he had to set things straight between them, do what he hadn’t done before they’d got married.
‘It’s not what you wanted, is it?’
‘No, but now that you know more of my past, maybe you can understand my reaction, understand why I feel I can’t be a father—a good father—to my child.’
‘Feel?’ Her lips trembled and he wished he had chosen another time to have this discussion. It was spoiling all he’d achieved with his Christmas gift. ‘You make it sound like it’s still that way.’
‘My past has shaped who I am, Lisa, determined who I can be. Do you really want that for your child?’ The pain of his father’s rejection was unstoppable.
‘What about a mother who has never known a happy childhood, who ran with the wrong crowd as a teenager in order to hide from her past? One who grew up in a bad part of town? Do you want a mother like that for your child?’
The passion and pain in her words reached him on a level he thought impossible. He wasn’t the only one unable to stop the secrets of the past from intruding. ‘That was your childhood?’
‘Yes.’
He’d never have guessed, never have known she’d led anything other than a happy life. She seemed so calm, so in control of herself. Words, he decided, were not enough and he joined her on the bed, wrapping her in his arms, pulling her close in an attempt to show her he understood. The heat of her near-naked body transformed that understanding into passion and he claimed her lips, demanding a response from her.
She kissed him so hard it was intense and fevered. It heated him to the very centre of his darkened soul, dragging every tiny bit of emotion he’d ever hidden away out. Her fingers were pressed deep into his hair, her lips pressing against his. It was powerful, intoxicating. It was something he’d never felt before. As if they were kindred spirits, both wounded and hurt from life, both needing one another.
He pulled back from her, his breath coming hard and fast as he looked at her, saw the wary expression on her face despite the flush of desire on her pale cheeks.
‘I want you, Lisa, like I’ve never wanted you before.’
* * *
Rebellion surged forward and Lisa held her breath, fighting it back. She didn’t want to spoil this moment and all he’d done for her, but she wanted more than just knowing they would be good together, more than just being told he wanted her. She wanted the one thing that had been missing in her childhood and the one thing Max had already confessed to being unable to give. She wanted love.
Did that mean they were doomed? Even now?
Max braced his body above hers, his arms either side of her, and looked at her, his eyes swirling with desire. ‘I want to find what Raul has found with Lydia. I want that with you, Lisa.’
Hope surged through her. He wanted love? There was hope.
‘I want that too, Max.’ With her hands still entwined in his hair she pulled him down to her and kissed him with all the love she’d been hiding from him. Would that be enough to open his heart to her?
Without giving her doubts any more attention, she kissed him seductively, daring him to love her with his body if not his heart. His lips left hers and scorched a trail of heat down her throat as she let her head fall back against the softness of the pillow, giving herself up to his kisses.
He spoke soft Spanish words she didn’t understand, but she fooled herself into thinking they were words of love. Then the trail of kisses moved lower and she arched herself as he kissed between her breasts. Max moved, his body pressing against her legs, leaving her in no doubt that he was as aroused as her. He kissed over the lace of her bra, his tongue finding her nipple through the lace, teasing her mercilessly.
‘Max,’ she said as she gasped air into her lungs, forcing her eyes open to look at him. His gaze met hers and for the briefest of seconds she thought she saw hesitation, then it was gone as he moved lower, kissing his way down her stomach.
Again he paused and looked at her. This time she held her breath, then he lowered his head and kissed her stomach and his child within. Was he finally warming to the idea of fatherhood—his child?
He spoke again in Spanish. Soft gentle words.
‘Max?’ She couldn’t keep the question from her voice, had to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling.
‘My baby is here,’ he said and once again kissed her, sending a flutter of butterflies all over her. ‘And I will be there for my baby—always.’
Elation tore through her, mixing with the desire and passion of being partially clothed as the man she loved kissed her. ‘No more words,’ she said softly. ‘Just make love to me.’
His eyes became as black as the midnight sky as he looked at her, then with a frenzied passion he levered himself from her, discarding the remainder of his clothes before pulling her lace panties down her legs, casting them carelessly aside.
A fevered passion took over her, so great she could barely think. All she wanted was to feel him deep inside her, to be claimed by him, loved by his body. In one swift movement, with a determined edge to his expression, he moved over her, pushing her thighs apart with his legs.
She didn’t need any more encouragement and wrapped her legs round him, drawing him into her, needing the heights of desire only he could give her. He resisted, and she wondered if he was wishing he hadn’t done this, hadn’t got involved all over again, but as that thought slipped through her mind he claimed her once more.
She clung to him, her fingernails pressing into his back as the tide of desire increased. She moved with him, taking him deeper, wanting more, and when he spoke it was words of Spanish. Not soft gentle ones like earlier, but a harsh, gravelly sound full of passion.
‘Max, I—’ She started to tell him her innermost feelings, to tell him with words as well as show him with her body just how much she loved him, but before she could finish he claimed her lips in a demanding and hard kiss, which silenced those all-important words.
The wave of desire crashed over her and she clung to him, shaking with pleasure as he too found his release. Slowly her breathing returned to normal and her body cooled as Max rolled away from her.
‘Max.’ She said his name softly and he turned to look at her.
‘Don’t.’ That one word was a feral growl and she looked deep into his eyes, wondering if he was teasing her. The glittering hardness within the depths of his eyes scored her heart, singed her love and sent a shiver down her spine.
‘But...’ she began again.
He turned and lay on his back, his hands behind his head, his biceps tense and solid as he looked up at the ceiling. ‘Don’t say anything, Lisa. It’s better that way.’
Better for whom? she wondered and hid her confusion by moving close to him, laying her arm across his chest and pressing her body against his. She trailed her fingertip lightly over the defined muscles of his abdomen, desperately fighting to control her emotions, to become as detached as he was.
‘You’re right,’ she whispered as she kissed his chest. He lifted her face up, forcing her to look at him. She smiled as power slipped into her domain. ‘It’s better this way.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
LISA OPENED HER eyes and looked around the dimly lit room, acutely aware of Max’s body wrapped around hers as she lay with her back to him. She knew without a doubt that she still loved him. There had been a moment last night when she had briefly thought he was fighting it too, trying not to admit he felt the same way, but those hard words after the first time they’d made love had chilled that notion. Yet still she hadn’t been able to resist him. How could she when he was the father of her child and the man she would always love, no matter what?
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