She slowed on the outskirts of town pulling into the cemetery. She had not stepped foot on the grounds since this had become Chase’s final resting place. She looked towards hi plot, knowing exactly where he lay. “I just need a minute Liz.”
Liz’s soft hand went to Taylor’s shoulder in a way of telling her to take all the time she needed.
As she began walking up, she could see that day in front of her just as plain as day. The sun began to shine bright around her as she replayed it over in her mind but seen the entire thing in front of her. The heat from the sun took the cold night away. She stood there like in another dimension watching the events of the day.
The blue tent was set up. She could see herself sitting with Liz holding her hand on the left. His parents sat to her right. His siblings sat in the back row with his grandparents. She had no other family of her own there.
The preacher began to read the Lord’s Prayer as she stared at the light blue casket in front of her. A beautiful blanket of blue tipped carnations rest on the top with the ribbons reading beloved husband, beloved son.
When the preacher concluded the services and it was time to leave. Taylor hadn’t expected the type of reaction that came over her.
Taylor stood there watching and remembering what was going to happen next. She could feel the pain of that day coming back as if it were happening all over again.
She watched as she stood, everyone began hugging her, giving their best regards. When everyone had cleared the tent, she looked back at the casket setting her hand on it.
She spoke to him for the last time.
“Chase damn you! Why did you have to leave me? What am I supposed to do now? You promised to be there for me always.” She started crying. Liz held her hand again.
“Babe I didn’t want to leave you but this is how it is supposed to be. If you ever really truly need me, speak to me and I will hear you. I love you.”
And then he was gone. It was like a whisper. An echo. She turned to Liz looking for any
sign that she may have heard him but she could tell Liz hadn’t.
Taylor closed her eyes remembering everything clearly.
That day she knew he had spoken with her. She knew it with everything she had in her. She admitted she was emotionally unstable but she wasn’t hearing things. It wasn’t her mind playing tricks on her. She wasn’t so lost in mourning that somehow her psych made it up.
Taylor walked towards the headstone. When she reached it she stared at the carvings.
Chase Zacharia James
08/21/1978 - 01/15/2006
Beloved Husband
Beloved Son
Her fingers brushed over the words and it was exactly like losing him all over again. She felt as if something was squeezing her heart. She could feel the grip as it tried desperately to beat again. Her breathing became heavy. She felt faint. She fell to her knees crying.
This isn’t what I wanted when I came out here. I didn’t want to relive that day. I just need answers.
“Chase, please hear me. I need you. I don’t know what to do. You told me if I ever needed you to speak to you that you would hear me. I need you now. My life isn’t as normal as we thought. My decisions from here on out changes everything. The kids are in danger. Oh yes kids. Ashley and Zach. Your kids are in danger. DO YOU HEAR ME?”
Her hands fell to her knees, her head dropped low; she was completely hysterical and lost now. She needed someone to tell her what to do. Where to go. Anything.
A warm soft touch to her shoulder caused her breath to catch. She raised her head and turned. She saw the hand resting there. It was exquisitely lit with light as if it were glowing. Her eyes followed up the arm that was glowing to the face that gleamed with beautiful light.
She couldn’t believe it. Chase stood there smiling back at her. She reached out to him, but she fell stumbling through him. She turned back to him standing there.
“Babe. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Chase, I missed you so much. I have been so angry with you. There is so much going on now and I don’t know what to do. Tell me what do I do?”
“I know about the twins. You have done a wonderful job with them. It’s ok. I’d be angry with you if the shoes were reversed. But they aren’t. I know you think I gave up Babe. I didn’t. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t see you living half alive when I knew that was not who you are.”
“I thought you just gave up. That you didn’t want to fight anymore.”
“I would have fought till the end of time if it would have made a difference. It wouldn’t have Babe. You have to keep going. Know that this is how it was meant to be. All you need to do is keep following your heart.”
“I don’t understand. I’m scared if I make a wrong decision it could cost them their life.”
“You won’t Love. You always make the right decisions when you follow what your heart is telling you. You want to know about your gifts. Follow your heart. That is your strongest ability. Your ability to love unconditionally is your strongest power. Use it.”
“That’s too confusing. That’s not a power. I don’t know what my heart is telling me. Just spill it. Stop the fucking riddles and just tell me what do I do?”
“Love you’re not hearing me, you know what to do. You have all the answers inside your heart. I can’t tell you what to do because I don’t know what to do. You do.”
“No I don’t, everything is so messed up. Then there is Damien, Chase. I love him. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen it just did. I didn’t mean to betray you I swear it.”
“Is that how you feel? That you have betrayed me? My memory?”
“Yes. I know I have.”
“I want it to happen. I want you to follow him. He’s a good man T. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be alone. Move on be happy. That is what I want.”
“I don’t know how Chase. He’s not a man. He’s a vampire Chase. A blood sucking vampire. How do you feel about that now? About me following my heart now?”
“He’s just as much of a man as I ever was. He loves you and our kids. He will treat you all the ways I wish I still could. But I can’t. You and he were meant to be Taylor. Even if I wouldn’t have died, you were meant to be with him. It’s in your destiny.”
“I can’t do this anymore Chase. I feel like all the life has left me and the only thing that keeps me here are the twins. Some destiny I have huh?”
“Yes you can! Stop saying I can’t and start saying I will. What has happened to you? You used to be full of spunk, faced the world head on and made whatever decisions you needed to based on what you felt in your heart was right. Feel it again T, you know how. You always have.”
“I lost Damien. I ran him off. I don’t know how to get him back. It’s too late. I said things that I shouldn’t have out of anger.”
“Are you sure? The connection you have with him is so much stronger than ours ever could have been.”
“Connection? Some fucking connection. He says it and now you say it and I still have no fucking idea what you mean with that. I am not a master of riddles. I don’t get it.”
“Taylor you do get it. Think about it. Remember when I wanted to rodeo and you were so mad at me you didn’t talk to me. You thought that if you gave me the cold shoulder that I wouldn’t go through with getting on that bull. Remember?”
I wipe the tears from my eyes. “Where are you going with this?”
“You told me that if I got on that bull, you would divorce me. That hurt Taylor. Worst
thing you could have ever said to me. I knew you didn’t mean it but it still hurt. Then right before I was up you came and made everything all better. You told me you were sorry. Remember? Just tell him. He may be a vampire but he still needs to hear it.”
“He’s gone Chase. He broke the connection we had. He can’t hear me anymore.”
“Even death can’t break a connection. Think about it. You are talking to me now. Talk to him. I have
to go T.”
“No wait don’t go. You can’t go. Don’t leave me again.”
“I never left you. I’m always here T. Follow your heart and T, let Santa come this year.” His voice echoed off and then he was gone. The bright light no longer shined. The warmth that had surrounded her was gone and she shook from the cold air around her.
She pulled herself back together the best she knew how and went back to the Tahoe. She sat there for a minute using the sleeve of her hoody to wipe away what tears remained.
“Taylor, do you want me to drive?”
“No, I want to. I’m fine. She wiped her tears one last time, drying her face. “North or South?” Taylor questioned.
“Let’s head north. Ashley wants snow for Christmas. If we head north maybe we can give her that at least.”
Agreeing with her she turned north on I 55 and began their journey into the new life that they had no choice but to live right now. There was no turning back. They had no option. Her children had no other option.
The music played quietly. Liz and the twins slept peacefully. Six hours into the trip Taylor was fighting to keep her eyes open. She had just stopped at Effingham, Illinois and filled up the tank. She had to catch some shut eye.
“Liz, wake up.” Taylor whispered not wanting to wake the twins or alarm Liz.
“What? What is it?” She jumped as if a cannon had just gone off in her ear.
“Nothing. Shhh. I’m tired, can you take over?”
She rubbed her eyes and calmed her breathing before they changed seats. “How far do you want to go?”
“I thought maybe we could make it to Chicago tonight, get a room somewhere and spend a few days there maybe. I don’t know. I just want this to seem like a vacation to them more than what it really is.”
“It’s ok Tay. Get some sleep. When you wake up, we will be there. Rest now.” It didn’t take much for Taylor to do exactly what Liz had told her to. She went right to sleep.
“Sweet, hear me, hear me now. You mustn’t stay long in one place. They can find you. Keep moving. Only a couple days at each stop. Don’t even think about working. The means to survive will be provided. Until we meet again.”
She woke as if Damien were sitting right next to her the words were spoken so clear. Was he really talking to her or had it been yet another dream. Did he know something that she didn’t?
I shouldn’t have run you off the way I did.
The sun was rising as they reached Chicago.
“I thought we would be here sooner. We should have been here by like two thirty this morning. It’s almost eight.” Taylor looked at Liz waiting for her answer.
“I was beat. You were beat. I had to pull over at a rest area and catch a nap. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. I’m glad you pulled over instead of making yourself keep going.”
Liz was quick to find a hotel. When the kids woke the first thing was like every other morning. They were hungry. Thankfully, the hotel she had chosen had a really good breakfast. After checking in, the kids made their decision on what kind of cereal they wanted.
Taylor watched as they looked around excitement filling their tiny blue beautiful eyes. “Where we going to go first?” Zach questioned.
“I want to go to a princess show.” Ashley suggested.
“I want to go to six flags.” Zach put in.
“After the princess show first.” Ashley almost scolded.
“No, before that. Six flags first.” Zach started.
“Ok, wait. First, a hot shower, then maybe a swim, then maybe we can do both. Six Flags must have some princesses there. Liz and Ashley can visit with them. Me and Zach can take on all the death traps.”
Their hands erupted into clapping. They had always been rather easy kids to please. Liz didn’t like the rides and never had. Liz was always more of the girly girl. Taylor however, was more of the Tom boy. So Taylor and Zach fit really good when it came to death defying death traps like those at amusement parks. The higher and faster the ride, the more they screamed, the better the ride.
The kids did what they did the best. Swam, played, laughed, giggled, splashed each other and just acted like kids. After a bit Taylor started making laps. She really didn’t feel like a swim but she knew the cool water would wake her up better than any cup of coffee the hotel had to offer. She had watched as the kids swam around and remembered being at Damien’s pool.
She had noticed the way they had interacted with each other closely. She loved the way they were all carefree around each other. He was so gentle and tender with each of them. He had more patience than she ever knew could exist. He taught both of them how to swim stronger, faster, how to float and tread water.
But the best part, was when they got out of the pool, how he had cuddled them both up in a towel making sure they were nice and warm even though the water was perfect and the temperature of the room was greatly accommodating. The look in his eyes when he looked at them. The feeling in Taylor’s heart when she watched how he intermingled with them.
“I know that look of yours. Why don’t you just call him? If he won’t answer your mental calls, use the cell.”
“Because I can’t. I can’t put their lives in any more danger than what they already are. And if he wanted to hear from me he would hear me, or have called me.”
“So, let me get this straight. The only way for them to be safe is for us to change. If we change, we will be able to be with Jarrod and Damien, the twin’s safe, our short life on the run safe again?”
“Yes, but it isn’t that easy. If we change then they will change to.”
“So! It would be their way of life. Think about it. Would it really be that bad to never know sickness, death, the pain that you felt when you lost Chase? The pain you feel now because you’re not with Damien?”
“No, but what if they don’t want that life? What if they want to experience life as we know it?”
“They won’t. Nobody wants to go through what you go through. And besides, what if that is the only way we can make sure they are safe?”
“I can’t talk about this right now. Really, it’s too much. I have to think all of it through.”
“Don’t think too long Tay, we don’t know who is after us and when they will find us. I will back whatever your decision is as long as you really make it for the right reason.” Her words were almost short when she stood and walked away from Taylor.
Was that her way of telling me she would change? Was it her way of telling me that just like all our lives she would follow me? What was she trying to tell me?
She was right about one thing though. Taylor’s ability to over think things always made it difficult to make decisions. She didn’t need any more stress adding to this multiple life changing decision. But how could she do this to the twins.
What if they wanted to have children and they don’t meet their special someone before they change? They will never have that experience. Then what if they have children, and their children have children. Will this decision ultimately affect a lot more than it does right now. Like a domino effect.
She knew in her heart if the twins weren’t involved she would change in a heartbeat and not spend another nanosecond wasting precious time thinking about it or even considering it for that matter. But the fact was she didn’t know what the future held for them and how they would react.
What she did know was two things. First, her kid’s lives were in danger and she had to do whatever it took to keep them safe. And secondly, her heart was in pieces and she was alone again without Damien and that was not a life she wanted to live again either.
“Mom, earth to Mom.” Taylor blinked her eyes to see Zach standing in front of her.
“We swam for over an hour can we go now? Please!” His lips wide and tooth bearing. Taylor didn’t know who to say no to that. Not with a face like his.
“Ok. Let’s get changed.” The screaming and yelling that came out their mouths were one for the record books. They dressed an
d took off to six flags. The minute they were in the gate, Ashley had Liz’s hand pulling her to the right and Zach had Taylor’s pulling her to the left.
“You got your cell phone right?” Taylor yelled to Liz.
“Yep, you got yours?” She yelled back.
“Yes, call if you see anything or feel anything.” And then the kids had them separated unaware of the dangers.
“Come on Mom, let’s go. I want to ride the train first.” He tugged at her hand with all his might. When they reached the train he quickly picked their seats and they began their tour of the entire park. Taylor glared at everyone with suspicious eyes. She even looked at the kids there wondering if they would like shape shift into something evil and try to kill them. The train came to a halt and they were off and on their way to the next.
“Roller coaster now. Let’s go mom.” Thank God for the instant pass they bought otherwise the lines would have been miserable. They loaded up and as the roller coaster reached its first fall, Zach closed his eyes.
Ride after ride passed. Taylor tried to enjoy herself but all she could think about was Damien. Just text him. Call him. For once in your damn miserable piece of existence do something for yourself.
The feeling of hands on her shoulders as they flew down the hill startled her and she immediately had ahold of Zach. Then they were standing on the ground. Damien.
“What are you doing here?” She was in shock and yet pleasantly surprised. I missed you.
“We have to go now.” His voice was serious. No I missed you to. No I love you. Nothing.
“But Liz and Ashley?” There was no way in hell Taylor was leaving them. Something in her told her he really wasn’t asking her to nor would he ever leave them either.
“Jarrod has them. They are already back at the hotel.” And just like that they were gone. In a flash they were back in a room. But not their room. A different room. Damien had Zach in his arms and he appeared to be sleeping. Taylor remembered what Damien said about Jarrod being able to make someone sleep.
Swept Away: The First Bloodline Page 20