“Okay. Well, oh dear. Should Steve and I come? Or should we stay here? I…I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you feel like you need to be here?”
There was silence on the other end of the phone. “No. My gut is telling me no.”
“Okay. Well, we’ve come this far on gut instinct.”
She let out a humorless laugh. “How will you do it?”
I shook my head and looked at the front door. “I don’t know.”
“Nolan, sweetheart, you’re not in this alone. We all agreed.”
I swallowed hard. “I know. That doesn’t make it any easier though.”
Linnzi
THE ENERGY IN the room suddenly changed, and I felt my entire body come to life. It was a strange sensation. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and a warm feeling in the bottom of my stomach started to grow. I was in the kitchen helping Saryn get the trays of food ready to put out and had been pretty busy since I arrived. There must have been a couple dozen people here, but I found myself diving right in to help her. Out of a sense of wanting to help or just to occupy my busy mind, I wasn’t sure. Most of the folks I didn’t even know, but there were some whom I had apparently gone to high school with—although I didn’t remember them.
Saryn had been acting odd ever since I showed up especially when Truitt saw me. He had actually choked on his drink when we made eye contact, then grabbed Saryn and hauled her off to another room. Of course, that was after he had hugged me and told me he was so happy to see me again. Truth be told, I barely remembered Truitt. High school was wrapped up in that forgotten part of my past. It was then, as my mind continued to wander, that I heard him. I froze in place. The man who stood behind me had the voice of an angel. I’d heard it before, though I don’t know when. All I knew was that his voice was assaulting my memory banks, trying to break in. Then, I realized it was the whispered voice from my dreams. That voice was the reason my senses were on high alert and goosebumps were forming all over my body.
“Saryn.”
Saryn’s eyes flew up past me, and she sucked in a breath of air. “Nolan!” she cried out as she ran around the island and threw herself into his arms.
I turned and smiled, ready to finally meet this man. His back was toward me as he spun slightly after Saryn launched herself at him.
So, this is Nolan, I mused.
Even knowing I had met him before, it still felt weird. Damn it all to hell, there was something else there. I felt it simply with his presence in the room. It was overwhelming. I’d felt this same feeling before. A few years ago.
When Saryn stepped away, she swallowed hard and her eyes flicked over Nolan’s shoulder to me. Her smile wobbled, and I tilted my head. She looked nervous.
Nolan turned, yet I was too caught up in Saryn’s odd expression to focus on him. Then, drawing my gaze away from her, my eyes landed on him. I inhaled deeply and stared.
He smiled, and my entire body felt like a jolt of lightning had traveled through me. That same feeling I’d had in Paris was back ten-fold. “It’s you,” I whispered.
“Do you…do you know who he is?” Saryn asked as she rushed over to me. “Do you remember?”
I slowly shook my head in wonder, a smile forming on my lips. “France.”
Nolan lifted a brow. “France?”
With a chuckle that seemed so out of place, I covered my mouth and laughed once more before I dropped my hand to my side. Was it really him? How could it be him? “I saw you, in Paris. It was about four years ago.”
His smile faltered, but only for a moment. One quick moment.
“He’s your mystery man?” Saryn shouted.
“Mystery man?” Nolan asked, his eyes bouncing between us in confusion.
A rush of excitement ran through me as I felt my cheeks warm. This was the man I saw at the coffee shop. The man I had followed. The man who appeared almost nightly in my dreams.
Before I could think better of it, I blurted out, “Did you send me the flowers?”
Nolan’s head jerked back so hard, I wasn’t sure how he hadn’t hurt himself. “How did you know that was me?”
Now I felt lightheaded. He’d just admitted it. He was the man in Paris. He had sent me flowers. I clearly knew him at one point in my life, that black hole I’d tried to close up for over eight years, and he made me feel utterly…I honestly couldn’t explain how I felt in this moment. Alive. Filled with longing. And something else I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit to myself.
I swayed slightly while the room felt like it tipped. “Oh my God. Wait. Hold on. Wait.”
“Sit down, Linnzi,” Saryn said as she guided me to one of the chairs at the small table set off to the side of the kitchen. I looked back over my shoulder at Nolan. He stood there with a look on his face that was a mixture between horror, excitement, and confusion.
Lord Almighty. He was even more handsome, if that were possible. The only difference between Nolan now and my mystery man from back in Paris? He had replaced the baseball cap with a black cowboy hat. And the way it made his eyes stand out left my body feeling very, very warm.
I squeezed my own eyes shut as a sudden memory came rushing forward so hard and fast, I dropped down into the seat.
“I’ve always wanted to make love to you while you wore a black cowboy hat. With you sitting in a chair.”
I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat and let myself look at him once more. We had indeed shared a past. Or was that a fantasy, another dream that I’d conjured in the lonely nights spent in Paris?
Shit. Shit. Shit. It was clearly a memory. Saryn’s words started to come back to me. She had mentioned Nolan so many times, and the hopefulness in her voice now made sense.
“You were there, waiting for me, weren’t you?” I softly asked.
Nolan came over and sat down in the chair next to me. I couldn’t seem to pull my eyes away from him. All those days I stared down at that stupid café and prayed I would see him again. I still had one of the roses he’d sent pressed into my worn-out copy of Pride and Prejudice.
He looked torn about how he wanted to answer.
My voice trembled as I barely got my next words out. “Please, don’t lie to me, about any of it.”
There must have been something in my eyes, because he smiled so sweetly and said, “Yes. I was there because I knew you were there.”
I felt myself sway, and he reached up and placed his hands on my shoulders to steady me. An instant rush of desire passed through me.
Oh my goodness. Oh my…goodness.
“Did you come to Paris other times? Besides that day, I mean?”
He looked down sheepishly, then took his hat off and ran his fingers through his brown hair. If I hadn’t been so off balance, I would have thought it was rather sexy. Scratch that, even being off balance, I found it sexy as hell. I longed to push my own fingers through his hair, let them trail down those broad shoulders, and... I needed to cut those thoughts off now. Especially since Saryn was still standing only feet away.
“Yes,” he softly answered. “I came a number of times to see how you were doing.”
A familiar memory came to me. One I’d had over and over for the last eight years. I was in bed with this man as he made love to me. He kissed my breasts, whispered he loved me, and then slowly kissed up my neck and breathed my name into my ear. For the first few years, I hadn’t been able to see his face. I thought for sure I had simply used my Paris mystery man’s image purely to put a face to the man who’d filled my nights with the most amazing dreams. In my dream, I had always whispered his name back, but I could never hear the damn word. I would wake up frustrated and near tears. Now, I could hear it vividly.
“I love you, Linz.”
“Nolan, oh Nolan, I need you.”
My hand came up to my mouth, and I had to look away from him. It felt like more than a dream. Good God, it was a memory. Had they all been…memories?
“Linnzi, do you need some water?” Nolan asked.
I watched as Saryn and Nolan exchanged a concerned look before she turned to get me water.
“I’ll get it,” Truitt said, quickly moving to get me a bottle of water. I hadn’t even seen him walk into the room.
When he handed it to me, I managed to give him a weak smile. “Thank you.”
He gave me a nod, then looked at Nolan. The two seemed to speak to one another without so much as uttering one word.
With a deep breath, I stared at Nolan. Our eyes met, and I instantly knew I had known this man intimately. He was looking at me like someone who was positively in love. It wasn’t just the way he gazed so intently at me; it was the strange connection I felt between us. The pull was so strong, I nearly leaned closer to him. I had to physically stop myself from doing so.
Why in the world would he come to Paris and spy on me? Why would he not want me to see him? Or better yet, where had he been after my accident? Were we together then? Had we broken up? Did we date in high school? Why hadn’t my parents told me about him? Why hadn’t Saryn mentioned him in the car yesterday? My mind spun with so many unanswered questions.
“Linz, are you okay?” Nolan asked. He reached over and laid his hand on mine, and I felt it. Lord, I felt it. My stomach dipped, and I pulled my hand away from him. Not because I didn’t want him to touch me. The feel of his touch made me instantly vulnerable. I immediately saw the hurt in his eyes, and I hated that it had been me who put it there.
“I’m…I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t know you. Or, I mean, I don’t remember you, but I get the feeling we were…friends.”
The last word was more of a whisper.
A crooked smile appeared on his face, and if I had been standing, I was positive I would have dropped to my knees. That smile would melt any woman’s panties right off.
“Yes, we were…friends.”
I managed a smile as I looked at him with a slight tilt of my head. Suddenly, I felt a bit flirty. “Maybe more than friends if you came to see me in Paris?”
This time his smile grew larger, and I was mesmerized by it. He had the most beautiful blue eyes and handsome face. His jaw was square, and his skin looked so soft I longed to trace my fingers all over his face. I had no doubt in my mind that this man had a string of women lining up to be with him.
“Um.” It was all he said for about a minute before he cleared his throat and nodded. “How did you know I sent the flowers?”
I dug my teeth into my lip and watched as his eyes went straight to my mouth and then snapped back up. He felt it too. This insane connection. The longing and frustration I had felt for all those years because I knew there was someone out there…someone who woke up every morning like I did, with so much pent-up sexual frustration it nearly drove me mad. That same feeling was back in this one moment.
In my mind, I told myself not to tell him everything. But when I opened my mouth, the truth poured out. “I saw you sitting outside of the café.”
He frowned.
A nervous laugh erupted as I shook my head. “This is going to sound crazy, but then again, you were sitting there waiting for me, so maybe it’s not that crazy.”
“Go on,” Nolan prompted with a slight smirk.
“You got up and started to leave and I panicked. I grabbed my purse and followed you.”
His brows lifted while his eyes widened.
“I know!” I said with a disbelieving chuckle. “I think at the time I thought I might have known you, but I just had to find out for myself.” I tried to make that sound more plausible than ‘The moment I saw you I wanted to know what you would feel like inside of me.’
“Um, anyway, I saw you hand the cart attendant money and I assumed, or, maybe hoped, that when I got those flowers that they were from you.”
His eyes lit up, and when he smiled I had to suppress a moan. “They were from me.”
“Why didn’t you put your name?”
He didn’t answer me at first, only shrugged. Then he said, “I knew you wouldn’t know who I was, so there wasn’t a point.”
That made my mouth fall open, but instead of questioning him, I jumped when Liliana came running into the room. “Mommy! Nolan is eating the cake,” she exclaimed.
“Oh my gosh! What?” Saryn shouted as she ran out of the room.
“Oh shit,” Truitt said. He followed his wife and then turned back, grabbed two trays of food, and yelled, “It’s okay! I bought a back-up in case I dropped that one!”
I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched them dash away. I turned back and looked at Nolan who was smiling and looking at their retreating bodies as well.
It gave me a moment to really take him in without those intense blue eyes on me. I groaned internally when I realized my mystery man had blue eyes too. Had I seen his eyes that day in Paris? No, impossible. I had remembered them. Oh Lord … I had remembered him without even realizing it.
Those eyes. Lord above, those eyes. They were so blue they reminded me of the Mediterranean Sea. He turned back to me, and I fully took in his face. He had the slightest bit of facial hair coming in and my mind instantly wondered what it would feel like on my skin…and I swear I felt like I already knew the answer to that question in the dark recesses of my closed-off mind.
I looked away before my thoughts went anywhere else. What in the world was wrong with me? I knew we weren’t strangers, if I were to go by my dreams. Yet, I still didn’t know Nolan. At least, I didn’t remember knowing him.
“That boy’s a chip off the old block,” Nolan said.
“I’ll have to take your word for it. I don’t really remember Truitt at all.”
That caused him to look surprised. “Really?”
I shook my head. “High school, college, right up until the accident, I don’t have many memories.”
“You remember Saryn?” he asked, with almost a bit of hurt in his eyes.
“Yes, but still, only bits and pieces. Mostly of us at the riding stables. When she reached out to me a few years ago while I was living in Paris, I admit I had to think long and hard about who she was.”
He nodded.
I had to fight to keep from reaching out and touching his cheek. “I didn’t remember you at all when I saw you in Paris, but I knew in my very soul that we had a connection. When did we meet?”
Nolan looked down and frowned. It was like he was trying to decide if he should tell me or not. The internal war he fought was clearly evident on his face. Then he met my gaze. “We met in high school.”
My chin lifted and I said, “Ahh, I moved here my freshman year.”
“Yes.”
“You and Truitt grew up together?” I asked.
“Yes, and Saryn. Her brother Ryan is one of my best friends too.”
I chewed nervously on my lip. I really hoped Saryn kept that memory I shared with her yesterday to herself. I didn’t think it was the right time to admit to anyone my suspicions about my relationship with Nolan. There was a reason everyone kept it from me. Instead of being angry, I was now more curious than anything.
Suspicions? That made me laugh on the inside. Clearly this man and I had shared a past. I could practically feel the sparks between us. Why else had I been drawn to him in Paris? Hell, why had he even come to Paris in the first place? That was the biggest question of all.
“Are you okay, Linz?”
My eyes darted back to him. I needed to find out the answer to that and other questions swirling around in my head. And I had to hear him say it. “Were we close, Nolan?”
Nolan
IT FELT LIKE someone had jammed cotton down my throat when Linnzi asked if we had been close. I needed another minute to settle myself, so I asked, “Pardon?”
“You called me Linz. So far, you’re the only person who has called me that. In at least eight years, no one has ever called me that.”
“Um, we were, ah. I mean to say, that we were…well…um…”
She smiled a cute little
smile as she tilted her head and watched me for a moment. “I mean, obviously we must have been friends if you called me Linz.”
I felt the tension lift from my shoulders. “Yes, we were friends. Like I said, we knew each other. We all hung around together a lot. Me, you, Truitt, and Ryan. And a few more people. We all hung out together.”
Linnzi slowly nodded. “I see. That makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to me, though, is why you traveled across the Atlantic Ocean, crossing thousands of miles from wherever you were to see me. And then you didn’t actually say anything, Nolan.”
Aw hell. Think, Nolan. Think. Fast.
I opened my mouth to speak and then shut it again. I cleared my throat. “Your parents were worried about you. I travel a lot for my job, and whenever I was in Paris, I promised them I’d check up on you.”
She looked slightly disappointed at my answer. “You travel a lot? And that’s the only reason you were there?”
“Yes…to both of your questions.”
Linnzi took another sip of her water and looked away for a moment before asking, “You’re in the Air Force?”
With a wide grin, I replied, “Yes, I am.”
“Saryn told me. You’re a test pilot, right?”
“I am.”
“What exactly does a test pilot do?”
Fucking hell, being this close to her for the first time after so many years was driving me crazy. I wanted to kiss her. Haul her into my arms and tell her I loved her. Wanted her. Needed her.
“I do all sorts of things in fighter jets. I’m certified to fly a few different ones, and my job is to fly and evaluate new and modified changes in the aircraft to determine if everything is operating correctly.”
She lifted one brow. “I speak multiple languages but even I don’t understand a word of what you just said.”
God, she was adorable, and being this close to her was doing all sorts of things to me. Smiling, I replied, “I make sure that when a situation comes up—a bad situation, like a flat spin, or stalled engines, things like that—that the plane’s computer system can help the pilot get things back under control.”
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