Hanna immediately regretted confiding in Ella. The circumstances would have been mortifying enough on their own, but the fact that Derick was hearing it all made it so much worse.
“A guy?” Charles repeated. “Like, a guy-guy?”
“Don’t sound so shocked,” Hanna answered defensively. “It’s not like they’re extinct in this part of the world.”
Charles laughed at her answer and launched the same barrage of questions his sister had moments ago. Hanna’s aim now was to downplay at all costs.
“It was nothing,” she said, shrugging. “He was photographing the boats and saw me struggling with that stupid kite. He fixed it, that’s all.”
“And then he had ice cream with us,” CJ added unhelpfully.
The little snitch. Wasn’t he supposed to be completely engrossed by his game?
“Who had ice cream with you?” Mary asked, joining them from upstairs.
“A guy Hanna met at the marina,” Charles supplied.
“Like, a date?” Mary said. “While you had the boys?”
Hanna was losing her grip on the situation. “No, not like a date! The ice cream was to say thank you for fixing the kite, that was all.”
“Did you get his number, Hanna?” Ella asked. “Tell me you got his number. Did he ask for yours?”
“No and no,” Hanna answered through her teeth.
“If he’s photographing the harbor, I bet we could run into him again . . .” Ella suggested.
“Is he a professional photographer?” Charles asked.
“Is he a local?” Mary added.
Hanna’s face was positively aflame now. She didn’t know whether to answer or burst into tears. Before she could do either, a familiar voice joined the melee.
“You guys are worse than parents on prom night.”
Hanna, along with everyone else, looked up in shock. Derick’s words were tinted with disapproval, but the disapproval didn’t seem to be aimed at Hanna. It was for her family, injuring her with their oblivious sport. His eyes touched hers for just an instant, and in that instant Hanna understood perfectly what he felt for her: pity. She didn’t know whether to be thankful for his intervention or more embarrassed still, so she tore her eyes from his. Derick’s tactic had worked though, as the focus in the room shifted to him.
“I don’t know about you guys,” he said, turning toward the door, “but it’s too nice out to stay inside. I’m going for a swim.”
Ella jumped up, always game for any suggestion of Derick’s, and Charles went upstairs to change. Mary followed Derick and Ella out the back door, leaving Hanna alone in the kitchen.
There was something almost soothing about the isolation. Exhausted by the bipolar nature of her emotions from the day’s events, Hanna decided that an afternoon nap was in order. After closing herself in her room, she mummified herself in her blankets and rolled onto her side.
As her breathing slowed and a cocoon of pleasant numbness enfolded her, Hanna found herself thinking of the selfless act of her rescuer. To her surprise, there were no kites or ice-cream cones in the recollection, but sea-green eyes and a voice speaking her defense.
TWELVE
FIREWORKS
She found that to retentive feelings eight years may be little more than nothing.
—Jane Austen, Persuasion
Despite Ella’s urging over the next several days, Hanna was able to avoid a return trip to the harbor, which was step one in what had come to be known as “Project Eli.” But, on the 4th of July Hanna found herself out of excuses. Every year Old Lyme held a sunset sailboat parade in the harbor, followed by fireworks over the water. Add to this the preliminary family-friendly activities like face painting, free twist cones, and a performance by the New England Fife and Drum Corps, and Hanna lost all hope of opting out. Besides, she already felt as if she spent most of her time hiding in hopes of avoiding a certain someone, and she didn’t want to miss out any longer.
Her only comfort was that Ella would probably be too distracted by her own romantic plight to pay much attention to Project Eli. The thought was poor consolation—Ella spent about ninety percent of her time with Derick and talked about him for the other ten. As much as she tried not to notice details, Hanna couldn’t help observing that Derick and Ella had now progressed to the hand-holding stage of their relationship. She should be used to the sight by now, but it still sent a shard of pain into her chest every time she saw it.
With a sigh, Hanna pulled on her knee-length red knit dress and stepped into the bathroom to run a brush through her hair. When she could find no reason to delay any longer, she went downstairs and helped Mary pack a cooler with snacks and drinks. Hanna’s mood soared when it looked like Ella wouldn’t be in their party—then took an abrupt dive when she learned that Ella would be coming with Derick and the Crofts later on.
Mary had never been a crowd person, so the Musgroves set up their blanket and cooler on the sand between the breakwater and the harbor. The boys, of course, wanted to be right in the action, but their mother assured them they would be able to see the fireworks just as well from their current location and that the return journey would be easier. Hanna found herself diverted by Mary’s attempts to reason with CJ, since he would most likely be fast asleep by the time the show was over and would be carried the whole way home by his father.
Hanna offered to stay with the cooler while Charles and Mary took the boys to the harbor for ice cream. Since she hadn’t thought to bring a book to read or anything to do, Hanna plopped down on the blanket, took her phone from her pocket, and snapped a few pictures of the scenery. She sent them to Maude, who responded with a direct callback so she could scold her for bragging.
“Well, poppet. I see you’re wasting away out there on holiday. Looks like a dreadfully horrid place.”
“It is. I absolutely hate it.”
“I suppose you’re lying about on the beach all day, are you?”
Hanna chuckled. “Not so much. The boys keep me fairly busy, but I get some sun on those rare occasions when they entertain themselves for any length of time.”
Maude made a noise that reiterated her opinion on Mary’s lack of duty toward her children. “Just remember it’s your vacation too, dumpling.”
“How’s work going?” Hanna thought it best to change the subject.
“The Walters are selling off their timeshares to pay for that beastly girl’s latest antics. She spent over six-hundred dollars on a handbag at Harrods of London. Can you believe it?”
“I’m guessing that she dropped out of shopaholics anonymous, then.”
Maude huffed. “Don’t get me started! Have you come across any handsome chaps out there yet?”
Hanna thought of Derick, but shooed the idea out of her head before it found its way to her mouth. He might be “worth looking at” but he was also taken. Besides, she didn’t feel much like reliving any one of the torturous scenes starring Derick and Ella. There was Eli, but nothing to tell there either. Not really. And Hanna couldn’t very well bring up Benny without including Derick.
“Still there, dear?
“Yeah, sorry,” Hanna said, giving herself a little shake.
“Well, I’d better chivvy along, poppet. Give us a bell again soon.”
Hanna pledged to call in a few days and hung up. She was grateful for the cloud cover that blotted out the midsummer sun. She forgot to bring a hat along and didn’t apply sunscreen, since it was later in the day. Mother Nature apparently wasn’t much of a patriot—the overcast sky mumbled with thunder as a stiff breeze rearranged Hanna’s hair.
So much for brushing, she thought, then jumped when a voice startled her.
“That might just be the money shot.”
When she turned around, Eli was standing behind her, wearing a baseball cap and looking quite pleased with himself. By way of explanation, he snapped a candid of Hanna. She would be very much surprised if her skin tone didn’t match her dress in that photo.
“I’m pretty sure that a picture
of me has nothing to do with New England harbors,” Hanna replied, relieved that she happened to be alone when she ran into him again.
“You’d be surprised. May I?” he asked, indicating the space next to Hanna on the blanket.
She nodded, and he sat down next to her. Pulling up the first picture he’d taken of her from behind, he leaned over and showed her the display. “I’ll have to edit the blanket out, though. The drama of the photo disappears if you’re just a sweet girl saving a place for fireworks, instead of brooding on the sand.”
Hanna laughed nervously while she looked at the photo. The shot he’d gotten of her from behind was actually breathtaking. He’d captured the restless sea, the moody sky, the wind shifting Hanna’s hair over her shoulder with invisible hands.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, feeling stupid the second the words were out. “I meant the picture, not me . . .”
Eli’s dark eyes sparkled as he dimpled at her. “Here are the ones I got the day we met,” he told her, handing his precious camera over and showing her how to scroll through the photos. As it was still around his neck, they quite literally had to put their heads together.
Eli really was incredibly talented. Mundane things, like a sail or coil of rope, slats of the dock, bubbles on the water, seemed extraordinary—profound, even. Each shot felt like a memory, a moment in time rather than a picture.
“These are really good . . .” Hanna murmured as the images flashed before her.
“It pays the bills,” Eli said with a shrug.
“Don’t be so modest,” Hanna protested. “These are amazing! You have a real talent for capturing beauty, Eli.”
Hanna met his eyes, letting him know she was serious.
“I couldn’t agree more,” he said, his gaze steady on her face.
Not sure what her reaction should be to such a scantily clad compliment, Hanna returned her attention to the pictures.
After scrolling for a minute, her thumb froze over the arrow that would take her on to the next shot. On the one hand, the image on the display was just another sailboat in Old Lyme Harbor, but on the other, it was so much more. The last time Hanna had been truly happy was on that boat.
She immediately knew it was the Laconia, but if she needed any confirmation it came from the close-up Eli captured of the navy blue lettering that spelled out the vessel’s name on the bow:
Laconia
“Oh, yeah,” Eli said, “I found the Laconia.”
Hanna had no words, so she acknowledged with a nod and resumed the slideshow. There were several pictures of the Laconia—more than any other boat. The words tattooed opposite the name gave her another pang:
Never look back
“It’s a gorgeous boat,” Eli continued with a note of awe in his voice as he gently took the camera out of Hanna’s hands and turned to stow it in the black bag at his side. “Do you know the owner?”
Where to begin? Hanna never lied, but she didn’t fancy drenching Eli with the whole sordid tale either. In a voice of forced casualness she said, “He’s a neighbor/family friend type thing.”
“Gotcha,” Eli said, facing her now that his baby was safely encased. “You ever been out on it? The Laconia,” he specified when Hanna didn’t answer.
“Um—” she began, but was spared by the sound of her name being called from a few yards away. It was Ella, Derick, Adam, Sophie, and Benny. Benny’s face lit with recognition when he saw Hanna, and he waved.
“Friends of yours?” Eli inquired politely.
“Sort of. The one with all the hair is my brother-in-law’s sister, or my sister’s sister-in-law, whichever is less confusing.” She was rewarded by Eli’s answering grin. “The others are friends.”
“Cool.”
The Kelynch party was upon them now, and as Sophie laid out a blanket in front of Hanna’s, Ella approached with a glint in her eye. “Where are Charles and Mary?” she asked.
“Getting the boys’ faces painted,” Hanna answered, coming to the conclusion that if she hoped to avoid Ella’s saying something stupid like You must be Eli . . . I’ve heard so much about you! she was going to have to introduce them. She was spared the trouble when Eli waved and said, “Hey, I’m Eli.”
Ella took it upon herself to acquaint Eli with the rest of her party, and the Musgroves returned a moment later.
CJ had a macabre skull painted on each side of his face, and Walter had a teddy bear on one of his pudgy cheeks. Both the boys were clutching tiny American flags that had little hope of surviving the night. CJ recognized Eli right away, declaring to his parents that it was the “kite man” who had gone with them for ice cream. Derick looked over at this, and watched the exchange between Eli and CJ with mild interest.
When a megaphoned voice announced that the parade would begin in ten minutes, Hanna turned to Eli. “I suppose you’ll be heading down to the harbor now to take pictures?”
“Actually I think you have a pretty good view from here. Unless you’re trying to get rid of me?”
“Definitely not,” Hanna countered. “I just thought you wanted to be closer, or needed better light, or something.”
“I’m right where I want to be.” This was said with another unabashed look that sent Hanna’s pulse racing.
Instead of showing her embarrassment, she scolded him. “I do believe you are a shameless flirt, Eli.”
“Shameless, but never insincere,” he said with pride.
The sailboat parade was a sight to behold. The clouds parted just long enough for the sun to make its appearance and then exit in a striking show of pink and gold across the sky. Hanna found herself pondering why the Laconia hadn’t been among the boats in the parade, but perhaps its captain preferred his current position next to Ella on the blanket.
It was most inconvenient that the Kelynch party had set up in front of the Musgroves, because Hanna really had nowhere else to look but straight ahead as the sky blackened and the fireworks began. Eli was happily snapping shots of the lit-up sky, but for Hanna it was nearly impossible to focus on the show above when the one right under her nose was so much more distracting.
Every pop of color highlighted Derick and Ella’s position before her, and when Ella leaned her head on Derick’s shoulder, merging their silhouettes, it was all Hanna could do to keep breathing.
To anyone else it might have been a sweet, old-fashioned sort of gesture. But the innocence of it gave Hanna the most acute pain. When Ella’s head fell back and Derick’s dipped forward as they kissed, an immobilizing numbness spread through Hanna. It was as if she herself was being peeled carefully apart, then shot up in the sky like the fireworks for all to see—her soul bursting in a show of mock brilliance before falling back to the ground in forgotten, smoldering shreds.
Luckily for Hanna, fate was not altogether unkind. CJ chose that precise moment, the one where Hanna couldn’t bear to stay put a moment longer, to announce his need for a bathroom. Mary, no doubt having taken him at least twice before the show, was at the end of her rope and about to say so.
Hanna offered to take him immediately, feeling the stress fall off her shoulders as she put space between herself and them.
Unfortunately there wasn’t much of a line at the portable facilities, and Hanna didn’t feel ready to go back yet. Instead she stopped off at a concession stand and bought herself a soda. By the time she and CJ made it back, the show was over and the blankets and coolers were being packed up.
“I hope you don’t mind, Hanna,” Ella called out, looking proud of herself, “but I invited Eli to the barbecue tomorrow.”
This was the first Hanna had heard about a barbecue, and the reason was no mystery. She smiled sweetly at Ella, who turned and flounced away with Derick. Hanna didn’t realize she was glaring at them until Eli said in her ear, “If looks could kill . . .”
Shame warmed her skin as she turned to him, but she had no clue what to say.
“If you don’t want me to come, just say so.”
“It’s
not that,” Hanna said with a sigh. “I would love you to come. Really,” she added at his doubtful look.
“What is it, then?”
Suddenly she felt so tired. “It’s a really, really long—boring—story, and it’s late.”
“Hm. Well . . . I think I better walk you home,” Eli said thoughtfully. “So I know how to get to your place for the barbecue.”
“Are you sure? It’s like a mile down the beach.”
“Sounds like just enough time for a ‘really, really long—boring—story.’“
Shaking her head at him, Hanna smiled a bit, and they fell into step together. She really had no clue how to begin, so she was glad when Eli started.
“I’m guessing it has something to do with your sister’s sister-in-law and the guy she was with?”
Hanna nodded. “Derick and I used to be friends a long time ago.”
“Friends, huh?”
“Well, maybe more than friends,” she admitted. “We dated for a while.”
“How long ago?”
“Let’s just say Ella was still in elementary school.”
Eli snorted, which made Hanna feel lighter somehow. “Does Ella know?”
“No,” Hanna answered. “I don’t see the point.”
“But your sister knows, right?”
“Not exactly. Mary and I have never really been bosom buddies. Anyway, the relationship was really fast—a couple months, start to finish. By the time I had something to call home about, it was over.”
“Wow.” They walked in silence for a moment, Eli kicking the sand. “It kind of sucks that you have to watch them now.”
“It’s an absolute suck-fest,” she countered, and Eli snickered. “They seem happy, though.”
“But you’re not.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“If you’re paying attention,” Eli said, lifting a shoulder. “But they obviously aren’t, so I think you’re safe.”
His observation brought her no comfort whatsoever.
When Eli spoke again, there was a measure of mischief in his tone. “I have an idea.”
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