by E. M. Sadler
For the second time in a week, I was overwhelmed by the sorrow of knowing that I would never share a child with Kelly. How could one person be so understanding and forgiving of another's past? When I had first started dating Maggie, the first thing she made me do was to burn the evidence of every date I had ever been on, including my prom photos. What she didn't know was that my mom still had copies of my prom pictures at home, but I always felt it was extreme.
By 10:00 pm we had almost finished our bottle of wine, and I finally felt brave enough to ask if Kelly might share her history with me as well. "Do you have scrapbooks of your years with Geoff?"
"I do, if you're interested in seeing them, I have them electronically saved to a photo sharing website."
Wanting to reassure her of my sincerity I said, "I absolutely want to see them." If Kelly could be gracious enough to accept my past with Maggie openly, I could do the same for her. It probably helped that I knew she was irrevocably mine and that Geoff was not a threat.
From the little Kelly had told me over the past several months, Geoff was an ass and Kelly almost seemed revolted whenever he came up in conversation.
When a ding came through my work phone sometime later, effectively pulling us out of our photo-viewing bubble, I was shocked to find that it was already midnight.
"Anything exciting?" she asked.
"It appears that Polly is organizing a PTA meeting for next Tuesday. Do you think you'll be able to make it? It's usually just me, Nate, Mike and about 20 moms, but I can help you navigate through some new friend potential," I said, hoping that she'd be able to make it. PTA meetings weren't so bad when I was still married, but since becoming one of the few single men over the age of 35 in Danville, it had been attracting a lot of overzealous single moms.
"I'll see what I can do, but Monday is the first official week for Medicare Open Enrollment... Oh! I completely forgot to tell you something! I've been assigned to do a Medicare seminar in your parents' community next Saturday. Maybe you can give me and my boss Tammy some tips on the overall atmosphere of the...What? Is there something on my face?”
“What do you mean?” I asked coyly.
“You’re looking at me a little goofy.”
At some point during her news, my hand had subconsciously begun to stroke her side and once again I found myself consumed by my lust for Kelly Jenkins.
"Do you think you're ready to head up to bed?" I asked hopefully.
"I am, but let's just go straight to sleep, I'm worn out," she said, winking suggestively.
Unable to keep a straight face, she broke out into a smile that lit up her entire face like a homing beacon for my heart.
Playfully, I grabbed ahold of her sides and began to tickle her mercilessly. Catching me off guard, she retaliated by grabbing the sensitive area above my knee, causing me to jerk away responsively, giving her enough time to bolt for the stairs. Before she could step onto the second-floor landing, I grabbed ahold of her from behind and pressed my growing erection into her soft bottom with a groan.
Suddenly serious, she turned in my arms and asked, "Will we be sleeping in the same room you shared with Maggie?"
"No! We sold both the house and the bed that we shared." If the new owners hadn't asked for it in the sale, my plan was to burn the bed since there was no way I wanted it hanging around as a reminder of my failed marriage. "You will hopefully be the only woman to sleep in this bed with me."
With my loving reassurance, she relaxed in my arms, we walked up the last few steps, and I began to walk her backwards into my room for a night of lovemaking.
Chapter 37 – Kelly
After our second round of lovemaking, we were both too wired to sleep. So, we turned to face each other and began sharing the few intimate details of our lives that we had yet to broach, which consisted of our past relationships. We discussed every relationship from middle school through college, and after an awkward pause, we realized that it was time to discuss our marriages.
"I know it's awkward, but I feel like we should at least talk about our ex-spouses at least once in detail. That way we have a little insight into how it has affected our lives today," I bravely said while snuggling closer to Dale.
Stroking my hair, Dale paused and agreed with a sigh, "You're right. But let's promise that after tonight we'll try to avoid allowing them into our lives unless it's necessary. I don't want the toxicity of our past marriages to bleed into our relationship. I am not Geoff, and you are not Maggie, and we need to remember that."
"Deal."
Then, for the next hour, we went into all of the grueling details of our failed marriages.
Dale talked about how his wife's infidelity had shattered his world and awakened him to the delusions he had told himself for years. Finally concluding that, "I think that she hoped that I would eventually give up on the public school system and become a professor, or maybe start working with my friend Kevin who had developed software for the Department of Education. However, once she saw how much I enjoyed working as part of the school administration, she moved on and started cheating with her yoga instructor. If he hadn't reached an almost celebrity status, which now allows him the ability to name his salary and thus support her preferred lifestyle, I have no doubt that we'd still be married. The worst part is that since the divorce, the twins have become collateral damage."
There was a long pause after Dale finished talking about Maggie, and I knew that it was now my turn to share.
"Before I tell you about my marriage to Geoff, I need to ask one thing."
"Of Course."
"I want to turn the lights off. I'm normally not a crier, but I think if I look into your eyes while telling you my story, I might not make it through without crying."
After turning off the light, he pulled me into his arms and said, "That is completely reasonable."
Then for the first time since my divorce, I shared the sad history of my eight-year marriage.
Though Geoff was not the ideal partner and had emotionally abusive tendencies, I don't view him as a bad person. Thus, I hoped that by starting with the tragedies surrounding our first year of marriage it would ease some of his distastefulness.
"The month after we were married, Geoff 's parents died tragically in a car accident sending Geoff into a horrible depression that he never sought help for. Granted we were not exactly great at communication; however, I truly believe that if he hadn't been grieving, we might have had a better chance of navigating our marriage."
Once I had explained the times surrounding the funeral and how devastated the entire family had become over the tragic loss, I went on to talk about the years of passive-aggressive behavior and silence that followed:
How Geoff believed that it was his job to punish me through withdrawing affection for weeks and months at a time if I didn't keep the house clean or not talking to me for days at a time because the baby was up crying the night before. As I continued talking, I became more thankful for the darkness, because every time I mentioned one of my fights with Geoff, Dale would tense and hold me tighter. Finally, I got to the devastating day that I knew that my marriage was over.
"After giving birth to Mandy, my OBGYN had a discussion with me about emotional support in the household. You see, I was so fertile that anytime I went without protection, we would end up pregnant. Sadly, I was unable to maintain many of these pregnancies, and I spent four years dealing with hormonal rollercoasters after every miscarriage. At the time my OB was also my best friend. She no longer saw my husband as someone who would be an equal parent, and she felt that for my mental health we should look at a more permanent form of birth control. Unfortunately, Geoff refused surgery, so I chose to have my tubes tied instead.
"The day I came out of surgery, I apparently had an adverse reaction to the anesthesia and cried uncontrollably about my failed marriage to the nurse in charge of my recovery. I don't remember most of it, but when I woke up completely, my heart was broken, and I knew my marriage was over."
>
Worried that Dale thought that I was weak, I was surprised that instead of putting my ex down or making me feel like I needed counseling, he started to kiss me. At first, his kisses were gentle and tender, but as we continued, they became more urgent. Within moments he rolled me onto my back and pressed inside of me, filling me exquisitely with his throbbing manhood.
Slowly he began to stroke my face in an imitation of how he was stroking into my core. I knew at that moment that he was expressing his love for me through the use of our bodies. When we finally shattered in each other's arms, the ache that I had been carrying in my heart for almost a decade felt soothed and as I fell asleep, I finally felt at peace.
Chapter 38 – Dale
I woke up twenty minutes before Kelly's alarm was set to go off.
My body was begging me to wake her, but I couldn't take away the sleep that she so preciously deserved.
Last night had been intense! Last night had also been reality shattering.
I no longer felt like we were two separate people. No two people could experience the level of soulful gratification together that we did and not be bound to each other in some primal way.
Only one part of last night bothered me, and that was our conversation about Geoff.
How did she let things go on for so long?
Regardless of his obvious tragedy, which I didn’t believe was an excuse enough for his behavior, he was abusive. If anything, the tragedy probably just highlighted a hidden issue and gave him justification to assert his selfish needs.
There was one thing I was sure of though, when I finally meet Geoff, it would take everything in my wheelhouse not to punch him for the years of pain and insecurity his shortcomings unleashed onto my Kelly.
The most overwhelming part of her confession was regarding the years of loss she was forced to endure without the support of her partner. It was during this part of our conversation that I was thankful for the dark. I knew that she would see the pain in my eyes and interpret it as pity when in reality it was complete empathy for Kelly's loss.
The only way I could convey how much love she deserved, and how much love I carried for her after our admissions, was to show her with my body. Our mutual desire to erase our past pains resulted in the tenderest lovemaking of my life.
Just thinking about our last joint release awakened my body, and even though we still had ten minutes before Kelly's alarm is set to go off, my body unconsciously pressed itself into the soft contours of her backside.
Aroused by my invitation, Kelly, who was still half asleep, began to rock her body against mine in a slow dance of recognition. Nuzzling her neck with my nose, she sighed while blissfully stroking my thigh with her fingertips.
Inviting me in, Kelly arched her back into me while caressing my cock, nestled it in between her thighs and tempted me with her waiting warmth. Unable to detain my desire, I pressed into her tight entrance with a groan of ecstasy.
Out of all the times we had made love, this was the first time that we had ever joined while spooning and it felt great.
Reaching behind her body, Kelly grabbed my ass and began to press herself harder against my pelvis.
I tried to make this as tender as possible and even angled our bodies so that I could completely encase hers with mine in a caressing hug, but the closeness caused us to both lose control. Suddenly Kelly was slamming her backside against me moaning in delight, and all I could do was meet her thrust for thrust.
Wanting to press her body more firmly against mine, I reached my arms to the front of her shoulders and began leveraging our bodies as we climbed higher and higher.
Knowing that she still hadn't come and that I was on the cusp, I reached one of my hands down and began to slowly massage into her folds with my fingers.
Sensing my need for access, Kelly hooked her foot behind my knee and opened up just enough for me to touch her clit. With every swish of my finger towards her entrance, I could feel my penetrating sex. The animalistic knowledge of how my body was claiming hers as its own sent me over the edge, and my body began to jerk between screams of joy. Thankfully, the final jerk of my body spurred Kelly into uncontrollable spasms that left her body sucking every ounce of cum out of my rod.
BEEP, BEEP!! BEEP, BEEP!!!!
Bursting into laughter at our perfect timing, I reluctantly pulled out of her so that I could greet my Kelly with a proper kiss.
"Good Morning, my love," I said in between kisses.
“Good Morning, Mr. Wilson!" she said, making my penis jump at the sound of her raspy morning voice.
Man, I loved when she called me Mr. Wilson. One of these days, I planned on making her Mrs. Wilson, but I knew that neither of us were ready for that yet.
Maybe I could propose at Christmas. I don't mind a long engagement, but I did want to at least mark her in some way that told the world that she was mine.
"You look lost in thought," she declared with a smirk as we both began dressing on opposite sides of my bed.
Not wanting to alert her to my musings, I said, "Oh, I'm just thinking about how you lied to me."
"What do you mean, I lied to you?" she asked, with obvious worry in her eyes.
"Well, you told me that you were scary for the first two hours of every morning, but so far you've been very agreeable," I said while pulling on a clean suit and tie.
Hiding her face with her long brown hair as she bent over her overnight bag she said, "We didn't exactly sleep last night Dale, so it doesn't count. "
I know I should have felt some shame at that, but I didn't.
"I can't help that I'm weak to your temptation. Besides, I was going to let you sleep an extra ten minutes until you seduced me," I said with my biggest smile, which Kelly answered by sticking out her tongue.
God, I loved that woman.
We were thankfully able to sneak Kelly into her house without the kids realizing that she hadn't slept there. That way when they woke to find me sitting in the kitchen, I was able to pretend that I had just gotten there to pick them up for daycare.
As the kids were saying their goodbyes, I quickly snuck into Kelly's room and caught her nursing a waking Mandy. The pain and beauty of seeing Kelly nurse Mandy hit me like a kick in the gut. Knowing that I would never see one of my children at Kelly's breast was hard, but reminding myself of our ages, I quickly shook my selfish thoughts away so that I could say goodbye to the woman I loved.
"I just wanted to kiss you goodbye," I said when she became aware of my presence.
Kissing me firmly on the lips she said, "I love you."
"Love you too! Text me if you get bored," I said silently praying that she would text me the whole weekend.
Chapter 39 – Kelly
Once we arrived at Geoff 's house on Thursday evening, I could tell that it was going to be a long weekend. Geoff had had a bad day at work and other than a quick hello to the children had locked himself in our old bedroom for the last four hours.
By 9:00 pm I was finally getting annoyed when I texted:
Kelly –
Why aren't you spending time with your children?
Then I waited.
By 9:15 pm, there was still no response.
Kelly-
Geoff, the kids are crying for you and Mandy is going to bed in 30 minutes, please come downstairs and spend some time with your children.
That's when I heard the sound of Geoff moving around upstairs. After another ten minutes spent in the bathroom, Geoff finally made his way down the stairs and was greeted like a king.
"Daddy!!!" Mazie screamed.
"Daddy!" Mandy cried while holding up her arms to be held.
"Hi girls! Daddy needs a minute, I'll be right back," he said to the girls before looking at me and saying in his nasty yet soft voice, "I had my alarm set for 9:30 pm, you didn't have to text me."
Trying to keep my cool I said, "You shouldn't have been napping when it's your night to watch the kids."
"I had a headache, and it's not like y
ou had anything better to do. Besides, I'm awake now," Geoff said with condescension.
Fucking, Fucking, ASS HAT! He was treating me like a FUCKING babysitter when technically I wasn't even supposed to be here. I was supposed to be invisible except at nursing times, so this was supposed to be my time to watch Netflix and catch up on some paperwork for work.
That was what I wanted to say, but trying to prevent myself from yelling, I roared, "Whatever Geoff." Yeah, I'm a mature adult. "I'm going to nurse Mandy and put her to bed."
"Can't you wait till after my break?" Of course, he couldn't pass up his smoke break.
"No Geoff, I need to put Mandy to bed now, or she'll have a meltdown."
Huffing like a teenager being told to pick up his socks, Geoff reluctantly kissed Mandy goodnight and promised Mazie M&Ms before bedtime.
Nope, I wasn't going to say a word. I just kept reminding myself that I was an invisible parent during Geoff 's weekends.
Luckily, Mandy was so tired that she was passed out within ten minutes allowing me to change into my pajamas before Dale's call.
As I was walking into the spare room, I could already hear Mazie screaming and running in circles downstairs while Geoff desperately tried to get her to calm down in vain.
That's what M&Ms do to a 5-year-old at bedtime, Dumb Ass! I childishly said in my head reminding myself that bedtime with a sugared-up Mazie was his problem, and not mine.
At least I had four weeks till our next scheduled weekend visit and two half-day visits in between. I'd have Mazie back to her routine by then, even if it were just so that Geoff could tear it apart again.
Wasn't divorce grand?
I was usually not this bitter about Geoff, but for some reason him pulling a four-hour nap the first day we were here threw me into "bitch" mode. Luckily, after years of dealing with his selfishness and narcissism, I'd learned that a smile is the best way to handle an argument with Geoff. But that doesn't mean I couldn't allow myself an internal monologue expressed in the style of a “raging bitch.”