The Great Carbuncle

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The Great Carbuncle Page 7

by Justin Blasdel

DE VERE

  You heard him before. Even if we were to find the Great Carbuncle, he'd force us to leave in spite of it.

  JOHN

  You don't know that.

  DE VERE

  It's what he said, isn't it?

  CACAPHODEL

  You were aware? You seem to be completely healed. Amazing.

  SEEKER

  So does John here.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  It's impossible.

  DE VERE

  We...

  DE VERE checks to make sure MATTHEW isn't listening.

  DE VERE

  We all know what we saw. A bright, crimson light followed closely by thunder. This is the Great Carbuncle. Do any of you disagree?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  It's impossible. The Great Carbuncle is a myth.

  CACAPHODEL

  Why don't we ask the expert? Seeker, was that it?

  SEEKER

  That was it.

  CACAPHODEL

  Did you happen to get a good look at it? Could you lead us to it?

  SEEKER

  Yeah. I know where it is. I know how to get there.

  JOHN

  We got to tell the Robins.

  PIGGSNORTO

  No, we don't.

  JOHN

  We have to!

  ALL

  Shh!

  PIGGSNORTO grabs JOHN by the shirt.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You make him mad again, and I'll make a necklace out of your teeth. We can't trust a tasio like him. You saw how crazy he is. War's made him nuts. He'd take the stone and leave us to die.

  CACAPHODEL

  I don't know if I believe that, but...veterans typically do have a higher level of mental illness than most. He's unpredictable at best.

  SEEKER

  I'm not sharing.

  Beat.

  SEEKER

  More than I have to. The fewer we have, the less we split up the goods.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Finally, we agree. What about you, doc?

  CACAPHODEL

  Other than his possibly irrational state of mind, I don't know if Matthew would leave Hannah behind to fend for herself, let alone take her with us. Perhaps it is best that we leave him behind.

  SEEKER

  Sure. We'll leave him a note saying that we're coming back for him.

  DE VERE

  Don't tell him of our destination.

  SEEKER

  I'll give him bad directions. He won't ever find us.

  PIGGSNORTO

  What about you, krasto? What do you say?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  I'll go.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Good.

  DE VERE

  Wait. Professor Chillingworth, you don't even believe the stone exists. Why would you go?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  To disprove it. That light and thunder must originate from some natural source. It has to be explained.

  SEEKER

  That doesn't make sense.

  PIGGSNORTO

  It don't have to. (To CHILLINGWORTH) You can come, but you're not telling the Robins. Agreed?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  Agreed.

  SEEKER

  And you, John?

  JOHN

  We should wake them up, but...

  SEEKER

  Don't worry. I'll come back for them later.

  JOHN

  We need to leave them some supplies.

  PIGGSNORTO

  They don't need it. If they stay put, they'll be fine without any food or extra blankets.

  JOHN

  Are you crazy? They'll starve.

  CACAPHODEL

  Not necessarily. As long as they don't over exert themselves, they'll be fine by the time we return.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You see?

  Beat.

  JOHN

  Okay. I'm in.

  DE VERE

  Wonderful. Seeker, what do we do first?

  PIGGSNORTO

  I'll tell you what we do. Let's pack our stuff together, meet here in an hour, and then head off.

  CACAPHODEL

  In the dark?

  PIGGSNORTO

  No, not in the dark. With flashlights.

  DE VERE

  I have two specially made chrome Ash Flash Flashlights. We can share.

  SEEKER

  Good enough.

  JOHN

  Do the Robins still get a share of the Great Carbuncle?

  ALL (except JOHN)

  No.

  CACAPHODEL

  Then it's settled. We leave in an hour.

  ALL nod and then slowly walking to THEIR tents offstage.

  DE VERE

  A pleasant night to you all. Professor?

  CHILLINGWORTH silently exits with DE VERE.

  PIGGSNORTO

  We're gonna be rich. Dr. Cacaphodel, we're gonna be rich.

  CACAPHODEL

  It seems likely, doesn't it? Good night Seeker, John.

  SEEKER

  Night.

  PIGGSNORTO and CACAPHODEL exit.

  Beat.

  SEEKER

  I've been waiting for this for forty years. Forty years, and it's finally goin' to happen.

  SEEKER and JOHN exit.

  Beat.

  MATTHEW enters, making sure ALL have gone to sleep.

  MATTHEW

  All it takes is a little muscle.

  MATTHEW exits.

  END ACT I, SCENE V

  ACT BREAK

  ACT II, SCENE I

  It's morning. The clouds are as dismal as they were yesterday, and the temperature hasn't warmed up at all. The snow fell heavily overnight.

  HANNAH and MATTHEW enter. THEY have a sort of glow about them. It's as if they found the perfect way to deal with a stressful situation.

  MATTHEW breathes in deeply.

  MATTHEW

  Smells fresh.

  HANNAH

  Smells like ice.

  MATTHEW

  You can't smell ice.

  HANNAH

  I can too. Your mother has an icemaker in the fridge, and I smell it every time I visit.

  MATTHEW

  And what does ice smell like?

  HANNAH

  Fresh.

  MATTHEW

  I can't argue with that.

  HANNAH

  Are we the first ones up?

  MATTHEW

  Don't know. Looks like it.

  HANNAH

  I'll go wake them up.

  MATTHEW

  Just...wait a moment. Let me enjoy this.

  HANNAH

  Okay.

  Beat.

  HANNAH

  Looks like we won't be rich after all. Didn't even get a chance to look for the Great Carbuncle.

  MATTHEW

  Nope. We'll have to keep living as normal folk, but we'll live.

  HANNAH

  I just wish we could have found it. There are so many things I want for us. So many things we need.

  MATTHEW

  Like what?

  HANNAH

  A dependable car, good dishes, a sewing machine...a house we actually own.

  MATTHEW

  We'll get those things. Sooner or later.

  HANNAH

  I know. Sooner would have been nicer.

  MATTHEW

  Yeah.

  HANNAH

  We need to wake everyone up.

  MATTHEW

  Really? Can't we stay like this a little longer?

  HANNAH

  Matthew, I want to, I do, but I also want a hot bath and a real bed to sleep on.

  MATTHEW

  And eat a home-cooked meal.

  HANNAH

  And I'll cook it for you.

  MATTHEW

  Then what the hell are we waiting for? Let's wake their asses up!

  HANNAH

  Matthew, language!
>
  MATTHEW

  You know you like it.

  HANNAH

  Wait.

  MATTHEW

  What?

  HANNAH gets her camera out and points it at MATTHEW.

  MATTHEW

  I thought it was out of film.

  HANNAH

  I have enough for a few seconds. I want something to remember this moment forever.

  HANNAH puts the camera on the ground where it's pointing up at both of THEM. SHE then kisses MATTHEW and holds him. SHE then gets the camera and turns it off.

  HANNAH

  Now we can wake everyone up.

  HANNAH and MATTHEW exit.

  MATTHEW (OS)

  No one in this tent.

  HANNAH (OS)

  No one here.

  MATTHEW enters.

  MATTHEW

  Where would they be? Hannah?

  HANNAH enters, reading a note.

  MATTHEW

  Where'd you get that?

  HANNAH

  In John and Seeker's tent.

  MATTHEW

  What's it say?

  HANNAH reads it for a little more, then all HER morning bliss washes away in anger.

  HANNAH

  They left.

  MATTHEW

  They left? Where to?

  HANNAH hands over the note to MATTHEW.

  HANNAH

  They left us here? In the cold? Without any food? Without any idea where we are?

  MATTHEW

  Those bastards! They're looking for the Great Carbuncle?

  HANNAH

  Last night, when I thought I saw red light, what did you see?

  MATTHEW

  I was seeing red long before that.

  HANNAH

  But I saw...no, I don't want to believe it.

  MATTHEW

  So we're on our own.

  HANNAH

  I saw red light. I swear I did! I heard the thunder too, but I thought it was another fight.

  MATTHEW

  I told you they weren't fighting. I would have beat them silly if they were. Now, I'm going to kill them!

  HANNAH

  They left without us!

  MATTHEW

  When I get my hands on them, I'm going to squeeze till their heads pop!

  MATTHEW rips the note into pieces.

  HANNAH

  We had a pact. We all said we'd share the Great Carbuncle if we found it. They said they would!

  MATTHEW

  Worthless, good-for-nothing sons of--

  HANNAH

  We're finding them.

  MATTHEW

  Yeah, as soon as I get home, I'm rounding up all my cousins, and we're going to kill those--

  HANNAH

  We're finding them now!

  MATTHEW

  What?

  HANNAH

  Get our stuff together.

  MATTHEW

  Hannah, there's no reason to follow them now. We need to go home first. Who knows how bad this storm will get? We'll get them back later.

  HANNAH

  And if they find the Great Carbuncle? If they get rich and we stay poor all our lives? We'll be living in our little shack out in the sticks, and they'll be laughing it up in their castles.

  MATTHEW

  It might not even really exist. You ever think of that?

  HANNAH

  Then where'd the thunder and lightning come from? Hmm? You explain it.

  MATTHEW

  I can't, but it's safer to cut our losses now and--

  HANNAH

  We're getting our fair share, Matthew!

  MATTHEW

  They took the food, Hannah! We could starve!

  HANNAH

  You don't care if we live poor the rest of our lives, but I do! I'm not letting them get away with this.

  MATTHEW

  Hannah, calm down!

  HANNAH

  Matthew, we need this. Our honeymoon's ruined, you don't have a real job yet, we keep borrowing from your ma and pa, and...we need to be our own family. I love your folks, I do, but I don't want to live off them anymore. If we find this gem, then we can have all we ever wanted.

  MATTHEW

  I have all I ever wanted.

  HANNAH

  Matthew...please. We can have furniture, new clothes, appliances, a better truck. When we have kids someday, don't you want to be the dad who gave them everything he could? And didn’t have to go back in the Army to do it? Please.

  Beat.

  MATTHEW

  Okay. We'll do it.

  HANNAH

  We will?

  MATTHEW

  Yeah. You're right. We can't live off my folks forever. Even if I start working soon, my paycheck won't cover all the bills. I'd really like to be able to live in our own little house all alone.

  HANNAH

  With the Great Carbuncle, we can buy a mansion!

  MATTHEW

  We can buy the White House if you want, so long as you're there sharing the same bed as me.

  HANNAH kisses MATTHEW, then SHE exits.

  HANNAH (OS)

  Hurry up and help me pack!

  MATTHEW

  You know, they have a head start on us. How you figuring we'll catch up to them?

  HANNAH enters.

  HANNAH

  We'll just have to move fast. They got the doctors with them, how far could they be? I'll pick up the pace. I promise.

  HANNAH exits.

  MATTHEW

  Doesn't sound safe with this ice and all.

  HANNAH (OS)

  We'll be safe. Help me pack.

  MATTHEW

  (to HIMSELF) Like my mother used to say, One bird in the hand don't mean nothing when you got two birds in the bushes just waiting for you...and a few jackasses to kill.

  HANNAH

  Huh?

  MATTHEW

  I'm coming.

  MATTHEW exits.

  END ACT II, SCENE I

  ACT II, SCENE II

  The weather continues to get worse. The clouds have become so thick that they're blocking almost all the morning sunlight, and the temperature remains to be freezing as a blanket of snow covers the landscape. DE VERE and PIGGSNORTO are still using the flashlights. The area is up high on a cliff.

  SEEKER (OS)

  I swear, the only people more annoyin' than preachers are know-it-alls. I said I know where I'm goin'.

  SEEKER enters, followed by PIGGSNORTO, JOHN, CACAPHODEL, CHILLINGWORTH, and DE VERE.

  DE VERE

  I believe that you believe that, but we've been hiking for some time and with no results.

  CACAPHODEL

  I would assume that we'd see the Great Carbuncle's glow again if we were as close as you say, Seeker. Perhaps we took a wrong turn?

  SEEKER

  We didn't take no wrong turn. I saw it shine down from over here.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Hey, doc. There's no sun here. Maybe it's gotta have the sun to work its magic.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  Many historical reports suggest that the crystal shines its brightest during winter storms. However, they are stories and tall tales.

  DE VERE

  Then shouldn't we see it by now?

  JOHN

  It's karma.

  PIGGSNORTO

  What?

  JOHN

  We didn't tell the Robins, so now we don't get the stone.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  Assuming that I could ever believe in such a thing as this mythic stone, I could never believe that it chooses when to shine and when not to due to a moral issue.

  SEEKER

  It should be here! What the hell?

  CACAPHODEL

  We should scan the area to see if it is simply out of sight.

  DE VERE

  Yes. Capital idea. Let's all separate and search for the gem individually. Of course, I get to keep my flashlight, and one of---


  PIGGSNORTO

  So you can run off when you find it? How don't I know you're just pulling a trick on us?

  DE VERE

  Are you accusing me, a Lord, of treachery?

  PIGGSNORTO

  I'm saying you, a mezza fanook, would steal it as soon as you got a chance.

  JOHN

  Hey, don't fight. No one wins when you--

  PIGGSNORTO

  Shaddup! (to DE VERE) You say something stupid like that again, I'll make you eat my fist. Capish?

  A red glow from the Great Carbuncle offstage increases as the travelers fight.

  DE VERE

  You can try it if you wish. I will no longer allow myself to be bullied by such a prat as yourself.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You're such a moo-shadda! You think you can take me on?

  DE VERE

  I'd take it as an act of duty to put down a beefer such as you!

  PIGGSNORTO

  Why you...come here!

  PIGGSNORTO grabs DE VERE by the shirt and prepares to hit HIM with the flashlight.

  DE VERE

  Get your hands off of me, you wanker!

  JOHN and SEEKER grabs PIGGSNORTO and keeps HIM from releasing the hit. CACAPHODEL quickly moves out of the way. CHILLINGWORTH simply observes.

  SEEKER

  What the hell are you doing?

  JOHN

  This isn't the way!

  PIGGSNORTO

  Just one swing. Gimme one swing!

  DE VERE

  I'll give you your one swing and ten more after it!

  As the glow finally becomes too bright to ignore, ALL stop what THEY were doing and stare at the Great Carbuncle offstage.

  CACAPHODEL

  Is that...could it be?

  SEEKER

  That's it. The Great Carbuncle.

  Beat.

  DE VERE

  It's magnificent.

  PIGGSNORTO pushes DE VERE.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Go get it.

  DE VERE

  Me? Why me? Why not you?

  PIGGSNORTO

  I told you to get it.

  DE VERE

  Aren't you afraid I'll steal it?

  CHILLINGWORTH

  (to HIMSELF) Impossible. It shouldn't exist.

  PIGGSNORTO pushes JOHN.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You get it.

  JOHN

  No way. It might turn me into a pile of salt or something.

  CACAPHODEL

  Seeker, would you do the honors? You've been looking for it the longest. You deserve this moment much more than we do. Besides, you have a bag prepared for this special event, don't you?

  SEEKER

  Yeah. Yeah, I'll go get it.

  SEEKER exits. The red light fades away, and SEEKER returns with the Great Carbuncle in the bag.

  SEEKER

  Got it.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Let me get a good look.

  JOHN

  Yeah. Let us see it up close.

  SEEKER

  Sure.

  SEEKER opens the bag. ALL crowd around him.

  JOHN

  It's not glowing anymore, but it's...more beautiful than dreams.

  DE VERE

  My, my. It's still hot!

  CACAPHODEL

  I've never seen a specimen quite like it. Ever.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  It can't be. It shouldn't exist.

  SEEKER

  It does, professor, and it's amazin'.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Let me hold it.

  PIGGSNORTO grabs for the bag, but SEEKER ties the bag closed. As the group argues, the red light slowly returns.

  SEEKER

  No! This is mine! None of you get it. I've been in these mountains my whole life. I'm not givin' this to nobody!

  PIGGSNORTO

  You'll give it to me, or I'll mess you up so bad, your mother won't know who you are.

  JOHN

  Yeah, Seeker. We all found it. Share it with the rest of us.

  DE VERE

  Indeed. We all have an interest in that crystal. It should be given to the one who knows how to benefit the most from it.

  CACAPHODEL

  Then I suggest it be handed over to me, as I am the only scientist and the only qualified individual to use it properly.

  DE VERE

  Hardly! You'd break it into a thousand pieces for your experiments.

  PIGGSNORTO

  It's worth more as a whole diamond than half of one. I'll take it to my boys and get a fair price for it.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  Are you all insane? It's not the genuine item. It never existed! We have to take this convincing anomaly to a college and have its authenticity tested. It might not even be of value.

  PIGGSNORTO

  I deal with diamonds as a career, and I'm saying this is worth something.

  CHILLINGWORTH

  No offense, but I'd feel more comfortable letting someone with a degree in geology confirm what I already suspect.

  CACAPHODEL

  I know many. I should be the one to authenticate the Great Carbuncle.

  JOHN

  This isn't like any other stone we found in the dirt. It's a gift from Mother Earth. We should keep it to ourselves. We--

  SEEKER tries to run away, but PIGGSNORTO catches and throws HIM on the ground, near the cliff.

  PIGGSNORTO

  You stay there till the men are finished talking.

  DE VERE

  It should be placed in my family's treasury where it rightfully belongs.

  CACAPHODEL

  It rightfully belongs in a scientific lab, not in a dusty, closet surrounded by worthless heirlooms.

  DE VERE

  Don't you dare insult my family fortune, I--

  CHILLINGWORTH

  What fortune? It's obvious that you are on this trip out of necessity, not convenience. I doubt your family still owns an estate.

  PIGGSNORTO

  No more talking! I'm taking the stone, and I'll kill anyone who keeps me from it.

  CACAPHODEL

  You'll kill all of us? Are you capable of it?

  PIGGSNORTO

  You have no idea what I can do.

  SEEKER

  None of you are getting it!

  SEEKER ties the bag’s slack rope around HIS hand and tries to run away again, but ALL get a hold of HIM and push him back. As THEY keep back SEEKER, they try to take it away from one another.

  PIGGSNORTO

  Give it up!

  CACAPHODEL

  I need to share it with the world!

  DE VERE

  It belongs with me!

  SEEKER

  It's mine, it's mine, it's--

  SEEKER is pushed over the cliff. HE screams all the way down, until HE can't be heard anymore. The red light slowly fades away.

  Beat.

  DE VERE

  Did you see where he fell?

  PIGGSNORTO

  No.

  DE VERE

  Did you see where the Great Carbuncle fell?

  PIGGSNORTO

  No.

  Beat.

  CACAPHODEL

  If I remember correctly, there is a river directly below us. He most likely fell in it.

  JOHN

  With the crystal?

  CACAPHODEL

  Most likely.

  PIGGSNORTO

  How deep is the river?

  CACAPHODEL

  Too deep.

 

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