by Toni Aleo
“She can speak for herself,” Jace says.
“And she said no,” Jayden informs him with a stern look. “Don’t peer pressure her.”
“Whatever,” he says, doing his shot then mine. “You guys suck.”
Before either of us can say anything, they both run off with the bottle and glasses in hand. Looking over at Jayden, I grin.
“Aw, my knight in shining armor,” I tease, feigning as if I’m passing out.
He rolls his eyes. “Fine, drink with them, then.”
“No, thank you,” I say with all seriousness. “Really, you rock.”
Giving me a suggestive grin, his eyes travel down my body. “You look hot, babe.”
Knocking my shoulder into his, my face burns as I look around. “Shh, Jay, people are around.”
“So? I don’t care,” he says, rolling his eyes. “If I want to tell you you’re hot, I’m gonna do it.”
When his unruly gaze burns into mine, I shake my head. “You rebel, you.”
Licking his lips, he holds my gaze before leaning closer. “You have two hours to hang before I steal you away and tear that toga off,” he says in a rough, sexy way. “With my teeth.”
Breathless, I look away. “You’re gonna make me wait two hours? That’s rude.”
“Okay, maybe one.”
“Better,” I decide, and then I look over his back as he turns to say hi to a friend. The detail is insane on his back, and I don’t know why I’ve never really asked him about his tattoos before.
Oh. Probably because when he has his shirt off, we are doing it.
When he turns back to me, I ask, “Does the tattoo on your back mean anything?”
He nods, taking a pull of his beer. “I’m the ship, and no matter what, nothing can take me down.”
“That’s sick as hell. I got the front one, supercool, by the way. I need something badass like that. Maybe a tiger ripping the head off a gazelle, and above it, it says don’t mess with the tiger,” I say very dramatically, making hand gestures.
Jayden laughs as he says, “How very 80s of you, but um, no.”
I giggle as I take a pull of my beer. “I need to get something. I’m itching for one.”
“We’ll go then, and you can talk to my dude.”
“Sounds good to me. Date night,” I say with a grin.
Grinning at me, he says, “I like the whole notion of date night outside of the bedroom.”
I nod. “The mere thought of it is very stimulating, but by the end of it, we’ll be in the bedroom.”
“So you mean I’ll get laid?” he asks, very silly-like, a huge grin on his face.
I nod. “For sure, Sinclair.”
I doubt anyone hears our goofy banter, but I love it so much. It’s us. When he stands erect before downing his beer and then grabbing another one, he looks over at me. “Gotta piss, I’ll find you.”
He hands me his beer and off he goes. Turning, I lean against the counter just as Markus stops in front of me.
“I need you.”
“Okay?”
“Beer pong, let’s go,” he says, and he doesn’t give me a chance to answer before he’s dragging me to the table. Handing me a ball, he says, “Shoot.”
Looking across the table at McMinn and Archer, I shrug. “Okay.”
But I wish I hadn’t because then I’m in such an intense game of beer pong, and I’m beyond obsessed with winning that I don’t notice what’s going on around me. All that matters is that McMinn and Archer are going down. Usually I’d be looking for Jayden, or even just hanging out with him, but at this moment, it’s time to kick ass with my main boy, Markus.
The party is loud, but I don’t let anything distract me as I throw my ball in their last cup.
“Attagirl!” Markus yells as he lines up, but he misses, which means they get the balls back. As they drink their cup of beer and, I guess, talk strategy, Markus leans over to me. “So, um, truth,” he says, and I glance over at him. I’ll admit, I’m a little drunk. These two have been really good competition.
“Truth? Huh?”
“Tell me the truth.”
“Okay?”
Leaning in, his lips at my ear, he says, “Are you and Jayden like, really together, together?”
He then leans back to look at me, and I just look at him. Do I admit it? I know Markus won’t say anything. We are friends; he cares for me. So I nod and he nods back. Which is not what I expected. I honestly expected him to jump up and down and say I knew it or something along those lines. But his face is as hard as stone as he looks over my shoulder.
“Okay, well, I’m giving him five more minutes before I go over there and whoop his ass then.”
“Say what?” I almost shriek, and he looks from over my shoulder to me.
“He’s over there talking to Skylar, and they are too close for comfort.”
Whipping around to where he was looking, I find Jayden standing in front of Skylar, his arm up on the wall above her as he nurses his beer. Now from here, it does look very suggestive, and I know if I move out a bit it wouldn’t, but that would be the rational, sober Baylor response. Ah, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t do that, I’d do what I am doing now.
Glaring.
“Son of a trucker,” I growl, but then I stop myself.
They are just talking, no big deal.
But then she wraps her arm around his neck, and all I see is red as he hugs her tightly.
“Whoa, Baylor,” Markus says.
“Damn, Baylor, who you… Oh shit,” McMinn says. “Why is Jayden talking to her?”
“He’s a dumbass, that’s why,” Archer says. “Moore, erase your face. I’ve seen that chick fight, she’s insane.”
Glaring over at Archer, I say, “Oh look, there went the fucks I had to give.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I glare as they laugh, except for Markus. He’s glaring with me. It’s taking everything out of me not to go over there, and I’m trying really hard to trust what he said, that he only sees me. But how can he when this bitch is basically humping his leg?
“I’m gonna kick her ass,” I sneer.
“Why? It isn’t like you guys are together,” Jace says out of nowhere, and I glower over at him, causing his eyes to go wide. Hiding behind Markus, he pleads, “Protect me, she’s a rabid bear.”
“Shut up, Jace,” we both say, and when I look back over to where Jayden and Skylar are standing, she glances over at me and makes a face. A bitch face.
“Aw shit, she’s looking over here,” Archer complains. “God, I hope you guys fight.”
“Right? That would be so hot!” McMinn decides. “I got a hundred on Moore.”
“No way, Skylar is a beast,” Archer says, and then they shake.
“Dumbass,” Markus snaps before shaking his head.
“Baylor, I’m warning you, if she hits you, you’re on your own! You can’t look at people like that, and I can’t hit her. My mom would kill me!” Jace adds.
Glaring even more, her eyes challenge mine and I challenge right on back. Narrowing my gaze, I put my hands on my hips as Jayden looks over at me, his eyes going wide. She says something to Jayden and he tries to stop her, but then she is moving toward me.
Bring it, bitch.
When she stops before me, she looks me up and down before scoffing at me. “Is there a problem?”
Shaking my head, I keep glaring at her. I ignore that she looks twenty times better than me, but then it has to be because her toga is basically hanging off her tits and her ass is hanging out. Yeah. That’s it.
Matching her arrogance, I say, “Did I say there was?”
“No, but your face sure does,” she snaps back, putting her hands on her hips. “And it seems like that happens every time I’m around Jayden, which is crazy to me since I know you two aren’t together.”
She does that whole moving her head with each word thing, and I want to laugh in her face. She couldn’t hold a candle to me. Yeah, she’s pretty and she could pr
obably outrun me, but I know I can kick her ass.
“You’re right, so I have no clue what you are talking about,” I say, which makes no damn sense because we both know I am glaring at her.
She takes a step toward me and I’m not sure what she plans on doing, but then Jayden is there, putting his body between us. “Ladies? That’s enough.
“Well, tell your friend to stop looking at me like she’s gonna kick my ass for talking to you,” she yells, which gets the attention of everyone. “I thought you said you weren’t fucking her.”
“I’m not. That’s enough, back up,” he says sternly, his arm holding her back, while Jace flanks my other side.
“I’ll look at you any way I want, bitch,” I yell back, which really doesn’t do any good here.
Damn alcohol.
“Attagirl, Moore, tell her,” McMinn yells.
“Bet you won’t hit her!” Archer yells, and I swear, I’m surrounded by idiots.
“Whoa, whoa,” Jayden says, holding his hand up. “Shut the hell up, guys.”
“Whatever, you’re just jealous ’cause he won’t fuck you, and he will fuck me,” she says, wrinkling her nose at me. “Why would he want anyone like you when he can have me? Again and again.”
“Skylar, come on,” Jayden pleads as Jace laughs.
“I mean, if he wants a slut, then he’s going to the right place,” I yell, and Jayden’s eyes go wide as Jace and Markus start to hop up and down behind me.
I really need to stop drinking... Eh, okay, I’m lying, I’d say that to her sober.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Jayden says before turning me around and pushing me out of the kitchen.
“Wow, really childish, bitch. Enjoy my sloppy seconds,” she yells at me, and I laugh.
“Ho, please, every guy on this team is your sloppy seconds,” I yell back as he’s propelling me down the stairs and into my room. As he slams the door behind us, I turn, crossing my arms and ask, “What the hell are you doing?”
“What am I doing? Trying to save you from making an ass out of yourself!”
“I’ll do whatever the hell I want! If I want to fight that bitch, I will. If I want to go upstairs and hump some dude, I will, because apparently you aren’t fucking me.”
Looking at me with disbelief on his face, he yells back, “Aren’t you the one who has been telling me to keep it a secret? I’m doing what you fucking want!”
“True, but you don’t have to try to fuck other people while you’re with me.”
“What!” he yells, his voice bellowing through my room.
“Markus even said something, that you were too close for comfort with that ho. If you want her, be my guest, but know we are done.”
“For fuck’s sake, Baylor, I don’t want anyone but you. I’ve told you this. Trust me, we were just talking about Claire and Jude’s wedding.”
“I saw her touching you, and you weren’t trying to back away from her hand when she was doing it.”
Taking a step toward me, he holds his hands out. “Because fucking McCarthy and Smith were giving me shit for being with you. It was innocent flirting—on her end, none on mine—to ensure that our secret was safe. I figured that you know that you are it for me, and so I didn’t think you’d get jealous. Boy, was I fucking wrong. I’m pretty sure everyone knows we are together now.”
Glaring at him, I shake my head. “Whatever, you want her.”
Giving me a disgusted look, he sneers, “You’re delusional, Bay. I want you and that’s it.”
“Sure, whatever,” I say, waving him off. “Get out.”
“No,” he scoffs. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t want to be near you.”
“I don’t fucking care,” he yells back. “We are going to talk about this.”
Defiantly, I shake my head as my blood is still boiling and my heartbeat is pounding in my ears. It may be the alcohol, or maybe the reason I feel betrayed is justified, but as I look over at him, I sneer, “I don’t want to talk to you.”
He shrugs though. “Again, don’t fucking care. We are talking this out. I hate when you’re mad at me.”
“Why? Why do you care? We aren’t together, remember?”
“I swear to God,” he mutters, looking up at the ceiling. Then he glares over at me. “Wanna know why I fucking care? Why I don’t tell anyone when you ask me not to? And why I don’t want to fucking leave right now?”
Letting out an annoyed breath, I say, “You’re gonna tell me anyway.”
“You’re right, smartass, I am,” he yells, his nostrils flaring as his eyes burn into mine. “It’s because I fucking love you, Baylor,” he yells, his eyes dark and full of not just frustration but love. Ah. Damn it. I knew it. All I hear is my heartbeat and our breathing as we stare into each other’s eyes.
Holy. Mother. Of. Fucking. Shit.
Is this real life?
“You’re drunk,” I breathe, but he’s already shaking his head.
“The hell I am,” he yells at me, his body trembling, but still his eyes are so full of love. Holding his hands up, he gives me an exasperated look. “Oh, I know, it isn’t in your plan. It isn’t controllable. But love isn’t controllable, Baylor! It’s hard, it hurts, and fucking hell, it’s not predictable! It isn’t a hockey game, it isn’t like controlling a puck with a stick. It’s real and it can knock you on your ass.”
“Jayden,” I say simply because I don’t know what else to say.
“I get it, you’re scared, but don’t you understand that I’m scared too? That I think at any moment you’ll give up because of your fears, and then I’ll be left with nothing. I’ll be alone because, after being with you, there is no one else. There can’t be. You’ve ruined me, and yes, I’m being dramatic because I don’t know how to get it through that beautiful head of yours that you are everything to me.”
My mouth is moving, but nothing is coming out. Holy shit on a cracker, what is going on here? Why am I so shocked by this? “Why?”
Why? Why did I say that?
“Why?!” he yells incredulously. “Are you fucking kidding me? Do you not understand the effect you have on me? The things you do to my heart and soul… I love you with every fiber of my being because you are amazing. Beautiful. And smart as a whip, Baylor. I love you.”
I sputter, unable to process this. “But we don’t know what’s gonna happen after the draft.”
“Who cares! I can tell you that I’m going to be with you.”
With my eyes wide, I stare down at the floor as I try to catch my breath. I’m choking on the words, that’s the only thing I can say. I don’t know what to do, how to tell him that this is too much. When I look up, his eyes are begging me to say them but I can’t. Why can’t I?
Before I can even say anything though, he shakes his head. “But I can see in your eyes you don’t. So go on, go back up there and fuck the whole damn house.”
“Don’t be like that!” I yell back because that’s uncalled for. “Don’t be a jerk because I’m not saying what you want.”
“It’s not that you aren’t saying what I want, it’s that you’re not saying anything,” he yells back, and I snap my mouth shut. “Give me something. Tell me what you’re feeling. Please!”
Shrugging my shoulders, I shake my head. “I don’t know. I want to love you. I do, but I am scared of the future.”
“Ugh!” he yells in frustration. “Fuck the future, Baylor. Live in the now, because no matter what, we’ll figure it out, together.”
“You don’t know that,” I counter, but he shakes his head.
“I don’t care. All I care about is hearing you say it to me; the rest will fall into place.”
But I shake my head because I just can’t do it. I can’t just throw caution to the wind and hope it works out. I need to know. Will we work? Choking on a sob, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he asks, turning to me. “For what?”
“For not being what you want me to be.”
/>
“But that’s the thing. You are what I want. I just want you to tell me what you’re feeling. I feel like I’m spewing my emotions at a wall.”
He kinda is. Quietly, I admit, “I don’t know if I can.”
“Try! You won’t even try,” he says, throwing his hands in the air. “I’m sitting here, my nose pressed to the fucking glass that you’ve surrounded your heart with, and I’m doing everything to bash it in. Am I even cracking the damn thing?”
“Yes,” I say, looking at him with pleading eyes. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Baylor, I’m not mad. I just want you to try. If we were on the ice and this were a game, you’d scream at me what you want. Please scream at me.”
“I want you!” I finally yell, letting out a breath. “I want you to love me, I do, and I want to love you. But what if it all comes crumbling down when we go into the draft?”
“Then it crumbles and we glue it back together,” he shouts, making me jump. “Stop saying we are going to fail. Believe in us. Believe in me.”
“I do,” I admit, meeting his gaze. Then I go to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my nose to his chin. “I do believe in you. I just don’t believe in me.”
Letting out a breath, he wraps his arms around my waist, hugging me to him. Allowing a tear to fall, I squeeze my eyes shut tight as he whispers, “Try, Baylor.”
“I am.”
“Then I can’t ask for more.”
“But you want more,” I say, pulling back to look at him.
“I do. I need to know I matter to you.”
Closing my eyes, I move my nose along his. “You do matter, Jayden. So damn much.”
“Good, because I love you,” he whispers. “And I don’t plan on stopping, so as soon as you want to join the party, that would be great.”