I find myself very hurt that she’s talked to him and not me, and it hits me like a baseball bat to the stomach.
“And what did she say that has you with another woman?” I ask as I take a couple of steps back and sit in a chair by the pool so I don’t fall down.
“She said she didn’t want me to wait for her. She wasn’t coming back to me. But it’s all good. We ended on very good terms. She hasn’t called you, then?” He takes a drink of his beer.
I shake my head. “No.”
His lips go up on one side. “Maybe she’s serious about the principal. She told me she was dating him. Maybe she’s done with the Manning men for good.”
“Why wouldn’t she call me?” I ask myself.
Rod shrugs. “Maybe you two weren’t as close as you thought. You did only see each other for a few months, you know.”
“And we were engaged and inseparable for all but the first week of them.” I hold out my hand. “Beer me, please, bro. And does this mean you’ll accept things if she comes back to me?”
He frowns and pulls a beer out of the cooler and hands it to me. “I will. But Reed, I don’t see that happening. She would’ve called you, man. Don’t let it upset you. I mean, you got that new chick. That rich one. Why didn’t you bring her home for this, by the way?”
I take a long drink of the cold beer, then say, “I was hoping Jenna might show up. And I can’t really take too much time with Lana. She’s kind of overbearing and bossy and she can be a real bitch. You know how our family is. I could see her telling me we had to leave and go get somewhere nice to stay.”
“But you brought her home before. Mom told me you took them on a helicopter ride.” He kneels down to pet the puppy Dad bought Mom last week. “Hey there, Puddles.” The little wiener dog pees a bit as he pets him, hence the name.
“We didn’t stay. It was a quick trip in her helicopter, then we went right back to California. We were looking at a property in Arizona where me might want to join some other investors in a project. That’s the only reason I was with her. And when I told Mom I’d be in the area, she made us stop by.” I down the last of the beer. “So, you think Jenna is serious about this other man?”
“Well, she let me go and didn’t call you, so I’d say she must be,” he says, then stands back up. “Don’t let it get you down. There are more fish in the sea if that rich chick’s not the one for you either.”
I nod my head at the approaching new girl as she’s making her way to Rod. “Where’d you find her?”
“On the Internet. At Jenna’s prompting, I went searching for females who like the things I like, rather than trying to change anyone. I found that little beauty there and we are compatible in all ways.” She walks up to him and runs her arm around his waist, leans into him, then takes the beer out of his hand and takes a drink.
He just smiles at her. She bites her lip after she pulls the bottle down and says, “Oops, I forgot to ask, didn’t I?”
With a nod, he says, “You did. That’s three.”
She gives him a wicked smile. “Only three? I think that deserves five.”
He moans and pulls her to him. “Time to show you my old bedroom.”
She growls and they leave me, thankfully!
Mom kind of hops up to me as they leave. “What do you think of her?”
“They seem to get along well,” I answer.
“He’s told me some about her. I told him he’d better bring her today. It’s so good to see him moving on. And now if you could, I’d be really happy. What about the Lana woman? Boy, she’s got the hots for you. You’re kind of cold to her, but you should let her heat you up,” she says, and I think I might be blushing.
“Mom!”
“What? You should. She’s a lot like you, son. I think if you could forget about Jenna, you and Lana would make a great couple. What do they call it? A power couple! Yeah!” She claps her hands. “Oh, to see both of my sons with women who they love and love them is all I want.”
“Well, I can barely stand Lana, so she’s not going to be your daughter-in-law. When’s the last time you talked to Jenna?” I ask and get up and grab another beer out of the ice chest.
“It’s been about a week. Her calls have slowed down, I think because she’s moving on. And, Reed, I think it’s best she has. Your brother and you have gotten along so well with her out of the picture. I hope you don’t think about going and getting her,” she says, and the thought springs into my head that I do know where she lives and I could do just that.
Tempe is only a two hour drive from here!
“Mom, if she and I do get back together you will treat her right, won’t you?” I ask, then take a drink and watch her kind of squirm.
“Reed, you and your brother would start this fighting stuff up again and I would just hate it,” she says, then knots her hands together. “Just leave her alone, son. Please!”
“Rod and I won’t fight over her anymore. We made a deal. So if there’s no fighting in the family, would you accept it if she came back to me?” I look at her, as she seems very conflicted.
“But there would be fighting.”
I shake my head. “I think Rod’s found a woman much more fitting for him. And he and Jenna have talked, from what he told me, and it sounds like they have found their closure. We both know Jenna was never the woman for him. She’s an angel, and Rod’s a devil.”
Mom takes the chair next to mine and takes my beer away and downs the rest of it. She sits there for a moment before she says, “Look, I love that girl. I do. But life has been so peaceful since she left.” She looks at me really hard. “But there is something missing in you. I can see it. Just wait and see if she comes back to you on her own. You and your brother both took that girl over. She’s never had a shot at finding out if she likes something else other than being taken over. You know.”
I nod and know she’s right. “But if she does come back to me, you will accept that?”
“Reed, as long as it doesn’t disrupt what you and your brother have managed to regain, I will accept it.” She gets up and walks away, then looks back over her shoulder at me. “But please let her come to you. Let her make a decision for once, instead of a Manning going caveman on her and dragging her off with him.”
I give her a nod and a smile. “Okay, Mom.”
Caveman is not the way I want to go, anyway. But this waiting shit has to end.
If Rod’s out, then the family thing is no longer an issue. And I want Jenna to know that. I want her to know I still want her, and I’m not about to let her pick another man if she’s not head over heels in love with the guy.
What we have is real, and I’m not about to let her throw that away.
But how to get her to call me is a thing I need to work on. Showing up unannounced is kind of caveman.
***
The party progresses, and everyone goes home. It’s late. Very late. And I’ve yet to figure out how to approach Jenna.
The light out by the pool is nice and I unbutton my shirt and lie back on the lounge chair I’m sitting in. I take a nearly naughty selfie and send it to her using Mom’s phone.
I lifted it from her just before she went to bed. She didn’t even notice I took it.
So now I wait to see if she texts back.
An hour later there is still nothing. So I go inside, stopping to pick up a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels, and go to my bedroom. I leave Mom’s phone on the counter after deleting the picture of myself from it.
Pulling my clothes off, I climb into the bed and prop my head up on the pillows. Then I take a nice long tug from the bottle.
It burns as it goes down my throat. I find the pain good, in a way. It means I can still feel things.
She must be done with me too.
But why in the hell can she tell Rod she’s not interested in him any longer, but not me?
Chapter 37
JENNA
“Crap!” I say out loud as I see my phone ran out of charge sometime
in the night.
I plug it in and go to get dressed. There’s a staff party this evening, and Steven wants me to go with him.
I’m not really feeling it, but it’s one of those things I do to keep the peace between him and me.
The phone rings and I look at it to find it’s Steven. I ignore the call.
I can’t deal with him yet!
One shower and a cup of coffee later, I go back to get my phone off the table by my bed and see a text message I missed from Sue. At three in the morning.
God! I hope everything’s all right!
With a swipe of my finger, I see there’s no emergency. There is Reed by the pool. His shirt is unbuttoned and he’s looking very sexy.
I fall back on the bed and gaze at him. His tight abs look even tighter than the last time I saw them.
His hair has grown just a bit, and his blue eyes sparkle in the pool’s lights. He’s devastating!
He must’ve taken this with his mother’s phone after she fell asleep. So I don’t bother replying to this text. Instead, I pull up his cell number and text, Looking good.
I wait and he doesn’t text back, so I call Steven back. “You called?”
“I did. I need you there by seven tonight. I’d pick you up, but I’ll be running late. I have some things I have to pick up for the party. Wear that green dress I like and put your hair in the side part thing I like so much. Your gold necklace with that cross will be good too. It’s Easter and all, and the cross works with that whole thing.” He stops talking just long enough for me to talk.
“And how was your night, Steven?”
“Oh, fine. I watched some television, then read until I fell asleep,” he says. “And wear those nude heels. I like the way your legs look in them.”
“Okay. I guess I’ll let you go and see you then.”
“Yes. Oh! One more thing. You told a joke at the last party and I didn’t like that. No jokes at this one. See you at seven sharp.” He hangs up, and I find myself fuming.
“No jokes! He’s a fucking joke!” I toss the phone on the bed and start to get off the bed, but it lights up and makes the buzzing sound it does when I have a text.
“It better not be another thing he needs to tell me how to do!”
But I see it’s Reed. Heard you were happy with a new man.
“Wonder who told him that?”
I text back, Heard you were happy with a new woman.
He texts back, Who told you that?
I text, Your brother and your mother.
He texts back, Funny, those are the same two who told me that about you.
I send, I’m glad you’re happy. Your whole family is a lot happier now that I’m not in the picture.
He sends, Not all of them
So I send back, What does that mean???
He texts, Don’t worry about it. Are you really happy???
Sue’s been doing so well. She’s made a full recovery from the tumor and there’s been no reoccurrence. She’s been so happy with how things are going. And she has not so gently told me about how compatible this new woman in Reed’s life is with him. How well they get along and how happy Reed is with her.
The phone buzzes again and I see he’s written, Are you afraid to tell me you’re happy, Jenna?
I think about it for a while and I know they’re all better off without me. So I send, Yes.
A little while goes by. Then he texts back, Okay, then. Have a nice life.
I quickly type in, You too. Then the tears start to fall.
I can’t breathe. My body aches. I think I might be dying.
I pick the phone back up to call him and think twice about it and put it down. He deserves better than me.
That woman is his equal. I’m sure she’s mentally strong too and I’m weak.
My phone rings and I can’t see who it is through all the tears. But I answer it anyway.
“One more thing,” Steven says. “No drinking tonight. I don’t want us to do any more drinking. I want to have the appearance of an up and coming couple who are about business and education. All work, no play. That kind of couple. A real educational power couple. And I want you to keep going to college until you get your doctorate. So get working on that. See you tonight.”
He ends the call without me saying a word.
Not one damn word!
The phone leaves my hand as I toss it away from me. I want no more of this thing with him.
He hasn’t asked me to marry him, but I saw pictures of engagement rings on his phone the other day. And now all this talk about the future and what I need to do to fit into his ten-year, mother-fucking plan.
Well, fuck that!
I’m done! Done with being led around like I don’t know what I want or am too stupid to know I can do more. I’m sick of it!
Reed never put me in a box. He never said, “Jenna, I want to have sex like this, so you need to learn to do it my way.” He never said, “Jenna, I want you to do this with the rest of your life, so go to school even longer so you can do what I want you to do.”
No, Reed told me I could do whatever I wanted. Anything or nothing. Whatever I wanted.
He let me love him the way I wanted to. He let me do the things that made me happy. He let me plan the wedding around what I liked.
And now he’s moved on to another woman. And I know in my heart it’s because I didn’t stand up and fight for what I wanted.
I rolled over and did what would make everyone else happy. Everyone else but me and Reed. I let him go, to keep the peace. I let him go because it was the easier road to take.
And now he found a woman who’s most likely willing to fight for him. The way I should’ve done.
I could’ve told Rod the same things I told him a couple of weeks ago, to get him to understand that I’ve grown and am not that person he loved. I could have told Rod those things that night, instead of kissing him to see if there was anything there.
Why did I do that?
Why did I allow other people to get between what Reed and I had?
What we had was real, honest, and pure. And I threw my hands up in the air and told myself it was for the good of his family.
So now what do I do?
I’m done with Steven. I won’t be his date tonight, and even though it will be uncomfortable working in the same school as he does, I will not quit my job and hide away as if I’ve done something wrong.
I will face the uncomfortable situation with my head held high and go on. Because shit happens, and it’s not always roses and wine. Sometimes it’s a pile of shit, and you have to step over it and go the fuck on!
The fact is I may have lost Reed. And he may have been the one for me. He may have been the only man who will ever make me feel electricity with his touch.
Reed Manning may have been the only slice of heaven I will ever have on this planet. But I will no longer let some man control my every move.
No joking around, Jenna! No drinking, Jenna!
Who does Steven Johnson think he is?
There’s going to be a new Jenna. One who knows what she wants, and when she finds it—if I ever find it again—she will hold on to it like her life depends on it.
And now I am done talking about myself in the third person because that seems a little crazy to me and I don’t want the new Jenna to be insane!
In an effort to face things head on, I throw on a dress and slip on a pair of flip flops, pull my hair into a ponytail, and get into my car.
I’m going to face Steven when I tell him we’re done.
Tucking tail and running isn’t a thing I’ll be doing anymore.
Steven is getting into his car as I pull into the driveway of the three bedroom brick home he has no immediate plans to fill with children because they aren’t in his life plan.
I pull in behind him and get out of the car. He doesn’t even bother to get out. He just rolls his window down. “Jenna, I need to go. Move your car.”
“This will only take a second, St
even,” I say as I lean in his window.
“Jenna, just do as I say. Whatever you have to say can wait until I get back. You can wait on the patio for me to get back, if you want. It should take me an hour to get what I need to done.”
He looks agitated that I’m still standing here instead of hauling ass to get out of his fucking way.
“I’m not waiting. We’re over, Steven. Done. K. I’ll let you go now.” I turn and walk back to my car.
I hear his car door open. “Jenna, wait!”
I shake my head, wag my finger behind me, and keep walking until I get to my car and slide into the driver’s seat. He stands there just looking at me. “Bye,” I say, and drive away.
My phone rings and it’s him. I ignore the call.
I’ve said all I have to say to him!
No amount of pleading is going to get me to change my mind and go back to being his Barbie doll that he dresses and tells how to act.
The fact that we’ve slept together a whopping three times, and never did I come close to climaxing and never did he care, sits forefront in my brain.
What an ass!
I feel weightless with this off my back. I can just be free. I don’t have to have a man just to fill some space in my life. I can just be me.
The fact is, the love I have for Reed has made me see that I should never settle for anything less than a love like that.
He may have moved on, but I think I’ll just kick back and relax and let myself live with the fact I have a heart that’s full of love for a man who totally deserves it.
He didn’t do a thing to make me stop, and I couldn’t if I tried. So why fight it?
I love a man who doesn’t love me anymore. Okay. I can handle that.
Pulling back into my parking spot at my apartment complex, I sit for a moment and let myself feel what it feels like to be a woman who is free but who also holds a ton of love in her heart.
It feels damn good. Whether it’s reciprocated or not, it’s there, and it feels great.
The first thing I do as I walk into my little apartment is go straight to my jewelry box and take out the ring Reed gave me. I slide it on my finger and look at it and feel happy.
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