by Anna Hill
“If you don’t count my mom, you’re my first too,” Emily joked, smiling back at Rebecca.
Pushing herself off the ground, Rebecca stood and offered a hand to help Emily up. Once they were both standing, facing each other, Rebecca lifted their still clasped hands and gave a tight squeeze. “Best friends forever, no matter what.”
“No matter what,” Emily promised, squeezing back.
* * *
A scream of sheer agony ripped through Emily’s consciousness, abruptly tearing her away from her vision of the clearing. The world around her shifted in and out of focus as she anxiously struggled to differentiate reality from memory. Her vision had felt so real, as if she’d been transported back to Cle Elum. She’d felt the breeze on her face and the coarse wild grass brushing against her skin--just as she’d felt all those years ago. She’d relived every second, every gesture, every word, as if she’d been transported back in time.
Another tormented cry split the air, causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end. A severe, excruciating pressure was crushing one of her hands, compressing her fingers in a vice-like grip. She concentrated on the source of pain as her clasped hand wrenched upwards. Shaking off the residual confusion from her memory, Emily fixated her rapidly restoring vision on the tortured face of her best friend.
“Make it stop!” Rebecca shrieked in absolute terror, forcibly pressing her hands against her burning temples. A pain far greater than anything she’d experienced wracked her brain. Two rivaling forces were violently pulsating within her skull with such immense energy that they threatened to sever what little grip she still held on her sanity.
The Feiceann darkness was coursing through her body like an unleashed beast, but it was no longer alone. Like a brilliant white light arising from a deep, unforeseen recess of her consciousness, a powerful strength was flowing into her body like a crushing wave, swallowing everything in its wake. She felt this strength bludgeoning against the darkness, ferociously battling to break the Feiceann’s hold upon her disturbed mind.
“Stop!” Gripping her friend’s hand even more tightly, Rebecca clung to the refuge of Emily’s touch; an anchor in the vicious storm that assailed her mind. “Help me!”
“I’m here.” Emily wrapped her free arm around Rebecca’s trembling form and firmly embracing her besieged friend. “I’m here, Becs.” Utter panic tightened her chest as a fear unlike any she’d ever known caused her blood to run cold. She needed to help her friend, to save her from whatever agony was assaulting her, but she didn’t’ know what to do. This was why the boys had found her and brought her here, this was why she’d rushed out to confront her friend, but now that the time had come, all she felt was terror.
“Please,” Emily whispered as tears slid freely down her cheeks. “Please, Becs. Come back to me. I need you.”
Suddenly, Rebecca gave a primal scream as the formidable new strength surged unabated through her, obliterating the Feiceann darkness and eviscerating its hold on her.
In absolute shock, Rebecca stumbled backwards. Breaking away from Emily, her eyes went wide with revelation. She was free. The Feiceann darkness was gone. As if a stranglehold had been lifted away from her mind and soul, she could finally breathe freely, think sanely. For the first time in months, her Feiceann instincts weren’t haunting her brain or accosting her thoughts. And yet, in its wake, a devastating desolation and guilt began to steal into her heart. How many had she killed? How many lives had she ruined? What had she done?
Emily watched as Rebecca fell to her knees, tears cascading unabated down her trembling cheeks. It was clear that her friend was awakening from whatever spell she’d been under, that she was regaining control over her ravaged mind. And yet, Emily knew the anguish was only beginning for Rebecca. Her heart ached as she stared into the horrified eyes of her best friend. After everything that Rebecca had done in the last few days--all the hurt and pain she’d caused and the trail of bodies she’d left in her wake--how could she ever truly recover?
Rebecca’s blurry vision shifted from the sprawled form of the Commander, to where Maverick lie motionless on the mossy earth, and then up to where Emily stood above her. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.”
Rebecca’s body began shaking uncontrollably, her stomach twisting into painful knots. Remorse was crushing down agonizingly upon her chest as the faces of those she’d attacked flashed relentlessly through her mind. “I killed them…I killed them…” she cried as she crumpled forward. “I killed them all.”
Emily quickly crouched down and threw her arms around Rebecca yet again. Heavy tears were now flowing freely from her eyes as well. She wanted to say something, to offer some shred of hope or support to her friend, but she couldn’t find the right words. Rebecca had suffered so much, had gone through more than she could ever understand. She couldn’t even begin to fathom the pain and grief that must be permeating her best friend’s heart. In this moment, the only thing she could think to do for Rebecca was to simply be there; to hold her and fulfill the promise she’d made all those years ago. They were best friends, no matter what.
For a long time, Rebecca and Emily remained there, huddled together on the forest floor, crying until no more tears could fall, shivering until their bodies succumbed to exhaustion. As they wept, the woods around them fell into darkness. Now, only the thinnest slivers of silver moonlight broke through the blanket of black that engulfed them.
Eventually, Rebecca lifted her head and turned her reddened eyes toward her best friend. “How are you here?” she asked, her voice rough from sobbing.
Emily leaned back, but kept a reassuring hand on Rebecca’s knee. “Liam and Maverick found me. They brought me here to help you.”
Rebecca flinched upon hearing Maverick’s name and avoided looking over at where he lie. “They shouldn’t have done that,” she sullenly whispered. “I could have kill--” her voice fell away as the word caught in her throat.
“They did what they thought was right,” Emily interjected, squeezing Rebecca’s knee in an effort to offer her some comfort. “We all were. I never could have lived with myself if I’d found out that I could have helped you but wasn’t given the chance.”
Rebecca refused to look up at her friend and they lapsed into silence. Emily’s passionate words did little to stem the grief that viciously pressed down upon her heart. She could see the faces of all she’d murdered in the last few days, could still relive the pleasure she’d felt with every kill, and it sickened her to her core. She’d allowed herself to become the monster she’d always feared, and now she was paying the price.
“I’m here to help you, Rebecca,” Emily reiterated earnestly. “Please, let me help you.”
“You’ve already done more than I could ever have asked of you.” Rebecca finally looked up at her friend, fighting back the sorrow that tormented her. “Because of you, the darkness is gone; my Feiceann side has lost its grip on my mind. Its hold has been broken and I will never again allow it to control me. But the damage is done. I did horrible things and hurt so many--only I can carry that burden. I harmed the people I care for the most. The crew will never--”
A sudden groan caused both girls to abruptly tense, their panicked eyes darting around the dark woods that surrounded them. When the sound came again, Rebecca’s astonished eyes fell upon where Maverick lie on the mossy earth. Bolting upright, she raced over to his side as a wave of relief washed over her.
“Maverick!” Rebecca dropped down beside him and placed her hands on his chilled face. “Maverick, can you hear me?”
“Not so loud,” he groaned as he squinted his eyes and scrunched up his face. “It feels like my brain was scrambled and then trampled on.”
Overwhelmed with relief, Rebecca hastily bent forward and hugged Maverick. She urgently pressed herself against him, reassured by the warmth of his body and the movement his chest made with every breath. He was alright. He was alive.
Maverick slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around her torso. “It’s OK, B
ecs. I’m OK.” He softly placed a hand behind her head, pressing her forehead against his, and felt her tenderly lean into him.
After a few moments, Rebecca reluctantly pulled away from Maverick and sat back as she stared down at him. “You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you.”
Maverick smiled up at her. “Almost as good as it feels to still be alive?” he replied with a cheeky wink.
“I’m so--” Rebecca began to apologize, but Maverick waved her comments away.
“Help me up,” he said after futilely trying to lift himself. “There’ll be time for sentiments later. Right now, we need to get out of here as quickly as possible.”
Emily walked over to join them and, together, she and Rebecca helped Maverick to his feet.
Wavering slightly, he turned to face Rebecca. “Before we leave, I need to know, are you OK?” he asked tentatively, searching her eyes.
“My Feiceann side is still there,” Rebecca answered gravely. “I can feel it within my mind, but it’s lost its hold on me.” Reaching over, she squeezed Emily’s hand tightly, and felt her best friend squeeze back supportively. “I know I’ll never be fully free from it, but, I promise, I’ll never again allow it to control me.”
Maverick watched her momentarily, a mixture of guilt and sadness etched on his face. Rebecca could see that he felt responsible for what had happened, that he blamed himself for her losing the battle with her Feiceann side; but that wasn’t true. She was just about to reach out to him, to assure him that the fault was hers and hers alone, but Maverick turned away.
Unable to face the remorse that ate at his heart, Maverick began walking out of the circle, but abruptly stopped when his eyes fell upon a motionless woman lying on the moss a few feet away. “Who is that?”
“The Commander.”
Everyone’s eyes shot up simultaneously, surprised by the sudden voice. Liam stood on the far side of the circle, leaning heavily against one of the large stones. His slouched stance and his heavy breathing made it clear that he was struggling to remain upright.
“What happened to you?” Rebecca fretted as she sprinted over to him.
“You did,” Liam explained as he allowed Rebecca to pull his arm over her shoulders and help him stand. “You drew on my Feiceann side to fuel your strength and nearly drained me of my own.”
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca humbly whispered. “I never meant to hurt any--”
“It’s alright, Rebecca.” Liam squeezed her firmly, causing her to look up into his eyes. She saw tenderness in them, compassion, a deep affection that was mirrored within her. “I’ll be alright.”
She leaned against his chest as he softly rested his chin atop her head. The comfort he exuded seeped into Rebecca, bringing her the first ounce of hope she’d felt since being freed from her Feiceann urges. Then, suddenly, Liam’s knees buckled and they nearly crumpled to the ground.
Rapidly readjusting her hold on Liam, Rebecca heaved him back upright. Then, tightening her grip on the arm draped around her shoulder, she carried as much as of his weight as she could.
Shaking his head, Liam smiled down at her. “But I would appreciate it if that never happened again.”
Rebecca softly smirked in return, grateful for a reason to smile. “You have my word.”
Together, they made their way to the center of the circle and sidled up next to Emily, who was standing over Maverick, watching as he examined the woman’s body.
“She’s alive,” Maverick announced astonished, and looked up from where he knelt beside the Commander. “Her breath is extremely faint, but it’s there.”
A small sense of relief washed over Rebecca. One fewer life she’d taken, though she wasn’t sure she’d have mourned this death.
“What are we supposed to do with her?” As Rebecca examined the motionless body of the redheaded Commander, her eyes lingered on the woman’s face. There was something familiar about her, something about the woman’s features that made her feel as if she’d met the Commander before. She hadn’t noticed it while possessed by her Feiceann side, but now she couldn’t focus on anything else.
“We can’t leave her here,” Liam answered. Then, upon seeing the irritable glare that shot from Maverick’s eyes, Liam pulled his arm off of Rebecca’s shoulders and mustered enough strength to stand on his own before explaining. “If we leave her here, the army will find her. She knows far too much about Rebecca to fall into their hands.”
“So we have to bring her with us?” Emily shook her head, exasperated. “And how do you suppose we do that? We hiked for hours to get here. You’re trying to tell me we have to drag her deadweight all that way back? I mean, if you haven’t noticed, it’s not like you or Maverick are in any shape to help move her, which means Rebecca and I would have to do it all ourselves.”
“Well, it’s not like we have much of a choice.” Rebecca bent over and grabbed onto both of the Commander’s legs, hoisting them up to her waist. “We aren’t safe here and we can’t leave her, so the faster we get moving, the better.”
Grumbling, Emily walked over, grabbed the unconscious woman’s arms, and began following Rebecca as they dragged the body. “Abducted from my job, driven across the west coast, told my best friend has magical powers, and am now carrying a nearly lifeless body for miles through a dark, sinister forest. This is by far the strangest day I have ever experienced.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I know you’re there,” Rebecca declared from where she sat on the tailgate of Maverick’s truck. She kept her gaze focused on the distant tree line at the edge of the property, using, instead, her ability to locate the unseen, approaching figure.
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched the air shimmer slightly before her mother materialized a few feet to her right. Though she refused to look in Aileen’s direction, Rebecca could easily sense her mother’s timidity. She didn’t blame Aileen for being wary. This was the first time they’d been alone together since Rebecca had run away; since the night she’d overpowered her mother in the woods and forced Aileen to reveal the location of her father. Though Rebecca felt guilty for what she’d done, she knew it was her Feiceann side that was to blame for her cruel actions. If she’d been in her right state of mind, she would never have attacked her mother in that way. But did Aileen understand that? Would her mother now forever be afraid of her? Could there ever be any trust between them?
Closing her eyes, Rebecca inhaled deeply and allowed her mind to wander back to the stone circle where she’d finally broken free from the Feiceann instincts that had controlled her. Though she’d only returned to the crew’s safe house a few days ago, it felt like a lifetime had passed since that eventful night.
It had taken them nearly four hours to carry the Commander’s limp form to the vehicles, with Emily and Rebecca doing almost all of the heavy lifting. By the time they’d reached the logging road, Maverick and Liam had regained most of their strength. Emily and Rebecca, on the other hand, were covered in mud and bruises and barely able to remain standing.
“I need a nap, and a Jacuzzi, and a giant cheeseburger, all at once,” Emily moaned as she leaned back against the side of the SUV, her knees buckling slightly.
Rebecca rested against the truck, taking in long, measured breaths as exhaustion hit her like a freight train. She’d been awake for almost two full days now and, no matter how hard she fought, she couldn’t stop her eyelids from slowly sliding shut.
They heard the side door of the SUV slam shut and watched as Maverick and Liam walked into view.
“The Commander is strapped into the middle seat, with her legs and hands tied just in case she wakes up.” Maverick brushed away the layers of dirt that had accumulated on his jacket as a result of lifting the Commander’s wilted body. Although Emily and Rebecca had tried hard to carry the Commander throughout their hike, the truth was that they’d drug her for most of the journey.
“I don’t think that woman will be waking up anytime soon,” Emily commented. “After how
many rocks and tree stumps her head hit on the way here, I’ll be surprised if she ever wakes up again.”
“We should leave immediately. We need to be as far away from here by sunrise as possible.” Liam walked over to the driver’s side door of the SUV and pulled it open. “I’ll drive the SUV and Maverick will take the truck.”
Rebecca pulled the truck keys from her pocket and readily offered them to Maverick. She could barely remain conscious, let alone think about operating a vehicle.
“I don’t want to make the long drive alone.” As Maverick took the keys from Rebecca, his hand lingered gently on hers. “You want to keep me company, Becs?”
Too tired to see the scowl that passed across Liam’s face, Rebecca nodded and moved toward the passenger door of the truck. “As long as I get to sleep, I don’t care which vehicle I ride in.”
“Just to warn you, I’m a snorer,” Emily joked as she made her way to the passenger side of the SUV.
Maverick jumped into the driver’s seat, started the truck’s old engine, and secured his seatbelt. As he did so, Rebecca started to open the passenger door, but was stopped when a hand came down upon hers.
“I’m proud of you,” Liam whispered. A soft smile lit his face, though his eyes held a note of sorrow. “There are few, if any, who’ve survived what you’ve been through. As I’ve said before, you’re stronger than you realize, Rebecca.”
“I don’t feel very strong,” Rebecca mumbled as the faces of those she’d hurt over the last few days flooded her mind. “After everything I’ve done, I can’t understand why any of you are still here? Why would any of you still believe in me?”
She felt the familiar soft presence at the edge of her mind and welcomed it in. “I will always believe in you.” Their eyes locked as Liam’s hand squeezed hers, “Always.”
“I didn’t drag that body for a hundred miles just to sit here in the middle of nowhere,” Emily called from inside the SUV. “I thought we had to get going?”
Rebecca rolled her eyes and shook her head at her best friend. “She’s right, we should go.”