by A. M. Miller
The guilt Raven felt was almost enough to make her walk away. She looked back at Mrs. Donovan and smiled.
“Yes mama, I forgive you.” Raven placed a kiss on the older woman’s forehead.
“Oh my angel, you do not know how happy this makes me. Come sit and tell mama all about your life. It has been too long since we spoke.” Mrs. Donovan moved over on the bed and patted the spot next to her.
Raven stood but turned back to look at the nurse. He was still standing by the doorway with his arms folded over his chest.
“You’re free to go. I can handle it from here,” Raven said to the nurse.
The nurse glanced between Raven and Mrs. Donovan.
“Go on now, you sour puss, my angel says she does not want you here,” Mrs. Donovan said shooing the nurse away.
The nurse narrowed his eyes at the woman. His jaw twitched and for the first time, Raven noticed how intimidating the big man looked. She watched him, half expecting him to do something, but the man simply pointed at something above Raven’s head. Raven turned to see a red button hanging on the wall above.
“Any problems hit that button and help will be here before you can say ‘nutcase’”
Raven glared at him. No, she definitely didn’t like this man.
“Thank you nurse, but your services are no longer required here,” Raven said.
The man glared at Raven but then turned to leave the room. Raven watched the door close behind him. Once he was gone she sat down next to Mrs. Donovan on the bed.
Raven reached into her bag and pulled out the gardening magazines. “Look at what I brought you, mama.”
Mrs. Donovan’s eyes lit up when she saw them. She reached for the magazines and Raven let her have them. “Oh thank you. They don’t know how to get the good stuff here.” Mrs. Donovan said, already flipping through the pages.
Raven stayed with Mrs. Donovan for a half an hour. She had to wait to make her move to avoid suspicion. They talked about Angelica and her struggles with college. Raven made sure not to go into any specific details. She spoke of the general struggles of college students, while still making sure to paint a happy overall picture. Her version of Angelica might have had problems but she was still a happy girl with a bright future ahead of her.
Mrs. Donovan placed a hand over Raven’s.
“Don’t worry, my angel. I am sure that you will be able to work through this. Many people look at us and think that we are fools. That’s what everyone said when I ran away with your father. They told me that a black army man was sure to leave me without a penny to my name, but I knew my Robert was a keeper. I saw what no one else could see in your papa.” Mrs. Donovan squeezed Raven’s hand and leaned in closer. “We Donavan women are far more cunning than they give us credit for, my little birdy.” Mrs. Donovan smiled and for a moment Raven thought she saw a glimpse of something behind the older woman’s eyes.
Raven sat still not sure what to say. She wondered if Mrs. Donovan had seen through her charade. It wasn’t possible. Raven had done this before and the woman had never noticed but…
The woman leaned back and smiled at Raven. The intelligence in her eyes was replaced by a softer kinder look. “You are my daughter after all.”
Raven sighed and smiled back at Mrs. Donovan. “Thanks mama, it really helps being able to talk to you about this stuff. I’ve missed you.”
Raven’s words had their intended effect as she saw Mrs. Donovan's eyes start to tear up again. The older woman pulled her into another hug. Raven held her, hoping this would make up for what she was doing. Mrs. Donovan wanted to be loved and needed by her daughter. It wasn’t hard to figure that out. She could tell from the way the woman spoke about Angelica. Even if her words were false they would give the woman a sense of peace.
“I’m just glad I could help. I’ve missed you so much.” Mrs. Donovan whispered. They held each other for a moment longer. Even though she knew this hug was not meant for her Raven found herself enjoying the embrace. This was what she’d missed most the four years her mother had been locked up.
Raven was the first to pull away. This was not her mother. Her mother was here waiting for Raven to come save her.
“Is something wrong, my angel?” Mrs. Donovan asked.
Raven shook her head. “No, it’s nothing mama, I just have to go to the bathroom.”
Mrs. Donovan smiled, the worry disappearing from her face.
“Oh well, the bathroom is down the hall. The key is right over there on the dresser,” Mrs. Donovan said.
Raven walked over to the dresser and picked up the bronze key.
“Hurry back, okay,” Mrs. Donovan said just as Raven was turning to leave.
Raven turned back around and stared at the older woman. If everything went according to plan she’d never see Mrs. Donovan again. In a few days, Mrs. Donovan would forget all about the fake daughter who came to visit her and the loneliness would return.
Raven walked back over to Mrs. Donavan. She bent down and placed a kiss on the woman’s forehead.
“Thank you…and…I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for, my angel?” Mrs. Donovan asked.
“Everything.” Raven gave the woman one last sad smile.
46
Raven stepped out of the room and left Mrs. Donovan behind. She walked down the checkered halls heading towards the bathroom. She kept her head bowed. There was still a chance that someone might notice her and ruin everything. Two nurses walked past her. She moved to the far right of the hall. Raven looked up and saw the blue restroom sign with an arrow pointing to the left. She rounded the corner, glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one was following.
A thick solid mass slammed into Raven. She fell to the floor, landing hard on her bottom. Pain shot up from her tailbone. She cursed and looked up to see what she’d hit. Drake Murphy stared back at her.
Drake sat across from her rubbing at his elbow. “You really do have it out for me, don’t you?”
Raven didn’t say anything. She was still in shock from seeing him there.
Drake stood up and brushed off his pants. He held a hand out to Raven. She grabbed onto it without thinking and allowed herself to be pulled into a standing position.
Once they were eye-to-eye Raven realized how close they were standing and took a quick step back. Her face heated and she cleared her throat.
“I’m, ah, sorry about that. I didn’t mean to…” Raven trailed off. Her voice had taken on an embarrassingly high pitch. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Did you hurt yourself?”
“Nope, I’m good, a-okay,” Raven said holding up the okay sign. She mentally slapped herself for doing it afterward. She was acting like a complete idiot. The last time they met she got to see a different side of Drake. Now it seemed she no longer knew how to act around him.
“Where were you headed in such a rush?”
“To the restroom, you know how it is when you really have to use it,” Raven said with an awkward laugh. After this, she’d probably have to avoid him for the rest of the year. There would be no coming back from this level of embarrassment.
“Oh, okay then, well I guess I better not hold you up any longer. I was actually just coming back from there. My tour guide is probably waiting for me.”
“Tour guide? So you’re here to check out Corvix?”
“Yeah, I told you I know someone who might be transferring here.”
“Right, well that’s good. I mean it’s good that you’re checking it out. Not that it’s good that someone you know is here- will be here.” Raven was babbling. The longer she stayed here the more likely it was she would get caught. This conversation needed to end now for both their sakes.
“I should probably just go now.” Raven stepped around Drake.
“Hey, Raven,” Drake called.
Raven stopped and turned back to look at him.
“I um…” Drake started but then cleared his throat.
He seemed nervous about something. Raven stared at him. She couldn’t imagine what he had to be nervous about.
“We’re good, right? You won’t tell anyone that I was here, will you?”
It took a moment but Raven understood what he meant. She knew what it was like to have her family business on display and have others poke at it. Even with his elevated social status, Drake wouldn’t be able to stop the gossip. She understood his reluctance to go through that, but then again, he’d never done anything to stop the gossip about her mother. Why should she help him when he never helped her?
Because you’re not like them. You won't exploit a stranger’s illness for a laugh, the voice in the back of Raven’s head whispered.
Raven sighed and nodded to Drake. “We’re good, Drake. You’re secret is safe with me. Just do me a favor and don’t tell anyone you saw me here.”
“Okay, but why?”
“It’s probably better that you don’t know. Plausible deniability and all,” Raven said which seemed to only further confuse him. She sighed. “Look, I really don’t mean to be rude but I have to hurry.”
Raven glanced down the hall. There could be a nurse coming at any second.
“Alright then, we have a deal. I won’t say anything if you don’t say anything. Just be safe, okay Raven?”
Raven nodded to him before turning back around.
“Oh, and Raven,” Drake called again.
Raven looked back at him.
“Nice hair. The new color looks good on you.” Drake smiled at her.
Raven tried not to frown. She’d almost forgotten about her new hair color. At some point, she’d have to return to school and then everyone would get a chance to see it.
“Thanks,” Raven said before turning to leave.
She speeded toward the bathroom without looking back. Time was running out. The restroom stood at the end of the hallway. Once inside she reached into her pocket. She pulled out an ID card. A photo of the mean male nurse stared back at her. Raven smiled at it. She couldn’t believe that she’d felt sorry for taking it from him. When they’d bumped into each other he hadn’t even noticed her hand slipping into his pocket.
Raven would have to work fast. He might have already noticed that it was missing.
Raven checked the stalls making sure they were all empty. She sat her bag on the sink and pulled out the white lab coat. The last time she was here she managed to smuggle one out. Raven slipped it on over her clothes. If anyone saw her on the camera feeds they’d think she was another doctor visiting her patient.
Raven opened the cabinet under the sink. She pulled out the trashcan. Pushing her bag to the back she placed the can back in its spot and closed the door. The bag would go unnoticed there.
Raven stepped out of the restroom. She held the key card firmly in her grip as she made her way to the left staircase wing of the hospital. Patients who were more likely to hurt themselves or others were kept on a separate floor. She made her way up two flights of stairs and used the ID to unlock the automatic door.
Raven quickened her footsteps but not enough to draw attention. There were more cameras on this end of the hall. Two for every five doors she passed.
Raven reached the part of the hallway that was gated off. A woman dressed in blue stepped into view and Raven jumped back behind the corner, flattening herself against the wall. She peeked out around the corner. The woman strolled down the hall. The badge on her right sleeve told Raven she was hospital security.
The security guard moved closer. Raven took a step back behind the wall. She held her breath. Her mother was only a few feet away. She’d come too far to get caught now. Sweat beaded against her forehead.
After a few moments, Raven peeked back out past the wall. The woman was farther down the hall with her back towards Raven. Raven waited until the woman completely disappeared before rushing back over to the gate. There was no telling how long it would take the woman to turn back this way.
She pulled the keycard out of her pocket but cursed when it fell to the ground. The sound of the card falling seemed amplified by the empty hallways. Raven reached down to pick it up. Her hand shook. She pressed the card to the keypad. The keypad beeped. Raven pushed the gate open. She rushed down the hallway looking for the room with her mother’s name on it. She’d reached the middle of the hallway when she finally made it to the room she was looking for.
A sticker with the name “More A. Denise “ was posted on the basket outside the room. Inside the basket were her mother’s medical reports. Raven pressed her card against the keypad again. It flashed red.
Raven glanced down the hall. She didn’t see the woman but she could have sworn the footsteps were getting closer. She pressed the ID to the keypad a second time, this time making sure to keep her hand steady. When the door unlocked she quickly slipped into the room.
Grabbing one of the chairs leaning against the wall, she barricaded the door. It wouldn’t hold long. If someone tried to bust in it would only take a few minutes, but every second counted.
A soft moan came from behind her. Raven turned around to see a woman lying strapped to the bed. Her wrist and ankles were cuffed with two big straps over her chest and stomach.
Raven’s heart clenched at the sight of her, “Mom.”
47
The Heart Queensland
Lu knew what it was like to be pushed to her physical limits. Her training required it. No matter how hard it had gotten, she refused to let herself quit. Meshi had never gone easy on her, but even her training could not prepare Lu for an evening of dress fitting with The Red Queen.
“Hold your breath, your majesty. It will make the fitting easier.” The tailor pulled tighter on the golden strings of the bodice. Lu felt as though the woman was trying to squeeze her stomach into nonexistence. She could feel the bruises trying to develop around her rib cage.
“I still do not see the point of such things,” Lu said to The Red Queen, who sat on the sofa watching her. Lu’s waist was already small enough. She didn’t need this stringed contraption making it any worse.
The Red Queen took a slow sip of her tea. When she was done she placed it back on the tray and looked back up at Lu. “The point darling is that we must make sure you look your best for this wedding. You are marrying my son. You must project an image of sophistication.”
“Yes, I understand that. What I don’t understand is why your tailor seeks to torture me in order to make that happen. This dress lacks all practicality.”
“My apologies, your majesty. I tried to mix in the Heart clothing style to the best of my ability. Please forgive me if it’s not to your liking,” the tailor said. She shook as she bowed. Lu raised her hand to wave her off but the woman flinched back as if she feared being hit.
Lu turned back to The Red Queen. Her eyes narrowed. She wondered what the queen had done to make her servants respond this way. Perhaps a beating for not stitching the gold into the fabric just right?
Goddess, they're worse than the rumors.
“The point, my dear, is to make your waist appear smaller. A smaller waist might make people forget other lacking areas. It is something I’m sure your mother would have taught you had she had the time.”
Lu glanced down at her chest and knew The Red Queen was referring to her lack of curves. She’d only started her bleeding a year ago. Her body was still making the transition into womanhood. As of now, her body had the shaping of a young boy.
Eleaa reassured her that she would develop as time passed, but Lu wasn’t so sure. She didn’t care either way. As she saw it, her current body shaping was more beneficial. It was easier to move around without the extra bits setting her off balance.
Lu’s acceptance of her body, however, did not remove the sting out of The Red Queen's comment. She’d been saying things like that all evening. Lu hated the snide way the woman made insults. On the battlefield, an attack could be met with immediate counter attack. Here in the palace, most fights were done by a slow circling of
one opponent. Pushing the boundaries without ever stepping over. It was an annoyingly tedious effort.
This was what the King was for; political warfare was too trivial for a queen to be distracted by it. The only reason The Red Queen was so equipped at politics was because her land wasn’t under constant threat. Ever since the end of the war, The Red Queensland had gone back to their lazy privileged ways, leaving the Heart to do all the real work.
“My mother understood that the main role of a queen is to protect the queensland. A role I cannot complete if I die of suffocation,” Lu said, her arms folded.
The Red Queen stared at Lu for a moment before looking back at the tailor. She gave the woman a small nod. The tailor stepped forward and began to loosen the strings that bonded Lu. Lu sighed as she felt her insides shifting back to the proper placement.
“The royal wedding is approaching, it is important that all our affairs are in order,” The Red Queen said.
“I am aware. I’m sure you have done everything to make sure it is all going according to plan.”
The past three weeks had tested Lu in ways she’d never known possible. The threat of war was the only thing keeping her from pushing the woman out of the nearest window. Being with The Red Queen made Lu almost grateful for her mother’s indifference.
Lu had not been the only one to feel the strain of the approaching wedding. Her entire inner castle was in a frenzy. The servants looked exhausted from trying to fulfill The Red Queen’s never ending demands. When Lu had said as much to Ramor, he’d simply sighed and promised they’d all be able to relax once it was over with.
“Yes, although there were some issues I was able to work through them. You’ve been absent for most of the decision making. Have you even given thought to your offering?” The Red Queen asked.
Lu brushed her hands down the fabric of her yellow dress. “A wine?” If she remembered correctly that’s what her mother had given in offering for her wedding. The people were typically pleased by food or drink.