Violet holds out her arms. I step into them, then quickly pull back, rubbing at my eyes, still sore from last night. I hold up my hands. “Don’t make me cry again, Vi,” I warn. “I take it they’re no closer to knowing where Skull is?”
I would have heard, I’m sure. The small shake of her head is just confirmation that my man’s still in the wind. Jeannie’s paused in her task of chopping up vegetables presumably in preparation for dinner tonight. Mo, who I’d met briefly at the barbeque a few weeks back is working alongside her, banging utensils in a way that shows she’s unhappy.
“It’s not her fault, Mo,” Jeannie hisses.
But Demon’s mother doesn’t turn or even look in my direction. I know she rarely comes to the compound, so is likely to think even less of being on lockdown than I do. I feel like apologising, but Jeannie’s right, it’s not down to me, although it is my man who’s the cause of the disruption.
“Can I speak to you, Vi?”
She sends a glare toward her mother-in-law’s back, then smiles toward me. “Outside?”
That will do.
I follow her out to a picnic table on the lawn Beef had prepared for Steph. When I’d first seen it, this yard looked like a bombsite with rubbish strewn everywhere. Full of hazards for a woman who couldn’t see anything. Even though she’d been missing at the time, Beef had planted a garden just for her, everything flattened and perfumed flowers all over. It’s now a beautiful space we all enjoy.
Vi barely lets me get my butt on the seat before she starts, “I apologise for Mo, Melissa. It’s just a shock to her that lockdown has been imposed so quickly. She’s got reasons not to like coming to the club. She’ll come around, but right now she’s looking for someone to take out her irritation on.”
It wasn’t what I’d wanted to talk to her about, but now it’s out in the open, I’m happy to discuss it. “I wish it wasn’t happening myself. I hate that I’m here and Skull’s not. Hate that I don’t know where he is or what’s going on with him.” I break off and swallow back down that threatening sob.
“Melissa…”
“But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about. Vi, I need your advice. Can you keep a secret?”
She straightens her back and grins. “I’m the prez’s old lady.”
I nod. “I’m pregnant. Only just. I found out yesterday.”
She frowns. “Did Skull know?”
“No. He knew it was a slight possibility, but we’d only been careless a couple of times. Got away with it the first time, thought this would be the same.”
She digests that. “What can I do to help? You say it wasn’t planned. Do you intend on keeping it?”
“Yes,” I say firmly. There isn’t one doubt in my mind. “But I don’t know anything, like whether I can drink coffee, what I should be doing, what vitamins I should be taking…”
“Whoa, hold up. I can certainly help. You know my story? I didn’t have the best pregnancy.”
I recall hearing she’d been raped. Theo isn’t Demon’s son, but he couldn’t act more like a father to him.
“Thing is, Mel, we can’t always control how or when we get pregnant, but we have to deal with it when it happens. I know you must be missing Skull terribly, but the men and old ladies in the club will step up and help. One thing to remember, you’re not on your own.”
“That’s what Pyro told me. But I can’t understand it. Skull was a member, not me.”
“While Skull’s gone, everyone will step into his shoes to help you. Whatever he’d have done, they’ll do for you. You got a doctor’s appointment? Someone will be there with you.”
But they won’t hold me in the night, they won’t love on me. And, if Skull, heaven forbid, doesn’t return, won’t be there to be a father to my baby.
“I feel so disorientated, Vi. One moment I thought I was in a relationship with the man I loved. Next it appears he’s walked out on me, and now I’m having his child. A child he may never know.” I sob out the last word, then fight to regain control of myself.
She frowns. “Let’s break this down. First, you don’t know what happened. You don’t know that he left you. Second, yes, you’re pregnant and you want this baby.”
“With everything that I am. Might not be good timing, but yes, I want my son or daughter.”
She raises her eyebrow. “Even as a single mom?”
Again, I’m positive. “Yes. Vi, you say I’ve got the club behind me. I’ve also got parents. If I’m struggling, I know they’d help.”
“They in Pueblo?”
“Denver.”
“You thinking of going to them?”
Am I? I examine my feelings. Right now, my explanation would indicate I’m a failure, that my man left me pregnant and alone. I’d rather go to them when I can give them some firm information. Like why Skull left, where he’s gone, and whether he can, or intends to, return home.
“Not until I know what’s happened,” I sum up. “I, er, I don’t know what to tell them.”
Leaning over the table, she pats my arm. “In the meantime, you’ll have us. Want me to set up an appointment with my OB/GYN?”
“Is it too early?”
“What are you, four or five weeks?”
“Thereabouts.”
She thinks for a moment. “I’ll make it for a week or so’s time. In the meantime, I can talk you through the basics. No, or very limited, caffeine.”
This is going to be a very long nine months. No, not nine, I realise. One has already passed.
“Stress isn’t good for the baby, Melissa. I know it’s hard but try to think positively. The club is doing everything possible to find your man and get him back where he belongs. There’s nothing you can do that they can’t. Please, try not to worry.”
Good advice, but probably impossible to follow. Not worry about my man? How on earth could I do that?
“You coming back inside? I’ll tell Mo her grandma cuddles with Theo will be restricted if she’s not nice to you.”
I laugh, as I’m meant to.
“You know,” she adds, shrewdly, “it’s early and people don’t normally announce it so soon, but in the circumstances, as you don’t have your man to share it with, if I were you, I’d let people know you’re expecting. That way, if you start getting irritable, everyone will understand.”
I really hope I don’t start acting like a prima donna, but who knows what pregnancy hormones will do to me? I’m in uncharted waters from now on.
“And,” she continues, “Mo adores babies. If she knows there’ll be another on the compound, she’ll be over the moon, and might just overlook the reason why she has to be here.”
Vi might have a point.
Saying she’ll give me some space, she gets up and leaves. My natural impulse is to keep my news to myself, but she’s right. I don’t have a man to share my excitement and fears with. Perhaps this is a different situation. I could tell my mom, but a long-distance phone call isn’t a satisfactory way of doing that, and would leave me open to questions I don’t have answers for, like is Skull excited about the news? Coming clean, at least to the club who’ve apparently adopted me as one of their own, might just make things a little easier.
And, if the worse happens and I lose the baby, which isn’t unheard of in the early weeks, I will need support.
“You okay, Mel?”
I glance up at Pyro’s deep voice and watch as he takes the place so recently vacated by his prez’s wife. “You were right.”
“Yeah?” He waggles his eyebrows. “Usually am, darlin’.”
I curb the impulse to swat him. “About coming to the club. It's better than being alone with my thoughts.”
His chin dips then rises. “That’s why I love this life. If I’m angry, I can rant to my brothers. Spar with them to lose the physical rage. Unhappy? There’ll be someone with a shoulder to cry on, metaphorically speaking,” he adds fast. “I’m a man after all.”
Another small smile curves my lips. If I was alo
ne at home, I’d be weeping and bemoaning my fate. While here, Vi’s being practical, and Pyro’s doing his best to make me laugh.
I can’t help getting my own dig in. “And if you’re horny, there are the sweet butts.”
His eyes widen. “You did not just say that Mel.”
Oh, I think I did.
His face is blank for a moment, then he laughs loudly. When he stops, he grows serious again. “Want to go get your bags unpacked and settled?” Without waiting for my answer, he stands and holds out his hand to help me up. Then, when I’m on my feet, abruptly let’s go. “Come on, then.”
It seems he intends to escort me.
“It’s okay, I know where I’m going.”
“Er, about that, Mel. You’re not staying in Skull’s room. As everyone has had to come to the compound, we’ve been moving people around.”
“Oh?” I’d like to protest. I like the thought of staying in my man’s bed, even if he’s not in it with me. But if he hadn’t disappeared, neither I, nor the club, would be in this mess. So I settle for, “Where will I be staying then?”
“In my room,” he says, adding fast before I can object, “but not with me. I’ll be elsewhere.”
I glance up at the man so much taller than Skull. He wasn’t kidding about people being moved around. It seems lockdown is putting him out, and under the circumstances I can’t complain.
The only room I know is Skull’s. I’ve no idea where Pyro’s is, so I let him lead me up the industrial metal staircase, taking in the doors along the corridor off to the right and the left. Something looks different. I stop when I see what it is. All the door handles are now upside down.
“Er,” I speak, my voice making him stop. “Is this some new club fetish? A charm against evil spirits, perhaps?” It reminds me of stuff I’ve read about the Winchester House where it was built deliberately to confuse.
“What?” Then he notices where I’m pointing, and again, laughs. “Nah, that’s to stop Bitch getting into the rooms. Darn cat can swing on the handles to open them.”
I know that. Skull had always locked his door to keep her out. Once when he’d forgotten, he’d asked me to lift her up and carry her out.
“Yeah,” Pyro continues with his explanation, “our new VP got them turned around as one of his first jobs.”
I spare a longing, lingering glance at Skull’s door, as we pass. Pyro notices, for a second his hand squeezes my shoulder. Then, two doors down, he opens another. He’s right that the handles have only been changed recently, it seems to take him a moment to work out how the mechanism now works.
“Fuck.” He swears as he opens the door. “Sorry, Mel. Give me a sec.” He rushes in, picking up bundles of clothes from the floor and moving, well, I don’t know what it is, but it looks like part of an engine.
I notice his saddlebags containing my stuff have been placed on his bed. I step toward them.
“Prospect brought them up. I’d have tidied if I’d remembered, well…” his voice trails off. I don’t need the explanation he’s an untidy man.
But it doesn’t take long for him to make the room cleaner, most of the clothes go into a linen basket. He opens the closet and nods. “There’s some space to hang your clothes, just push mine aside.” Then he moves to the drawers and starts emptying one. “Will this do, for now?”
“Yes, I just need somewhere to put my underwear.”
He tenses slightly as men sometimes do when a woman’s unmentionables are brought into the conversation.
“The bathroom’s through there.” I nod. Same layout as Skull’s room, perhaps a little larger. The bed, itself, is massive, but then Pyro is a big man.
“Right.” He’s stopped busying himself. “Okay then. I’ll leave you to get settled.”
All of a sudden, I don’t want him to go. “What happens now, Pyro?”
His hand rakes through his hair. “Jeez, Mel, I wish I could tell you otherwise, but all we can do is wait. Cad and the others are still working their magic. Hopefully they’ll turn something up, or not. Once they’ve searched everywhere, if they don’t find him, it’s a good sign. Might mean he’s holed up with a friend.”
“Or someone’s holding him.” Or there’s a body to find that hasn’t been discovered yet. But I don’t voice that fear aloud.
Pyro slowly nods. “If they are, I’ll put money on it that it wouldn’t be long before they make contact. I mean, without someone stepping up and taking responsibility, it sends no message and makes no sense.”
Chapter Fifteen
Pyro
“It makes no fuckin’ sense,” I slam my hand down on the table. Sure, I’m feeling irritable. Five nights sleeping on the all too small couch in the clubroom will do that to a man. Now the brothers attending our normal Wednesday church are bearing the brunt of it. “He’s been gone over a week, and we’ve found no fuckin’ trace. Neither he, nor anyone else has made contact.”
“Hate to say it, but the obvious answer is he’s gone dirty side up and is lying in the bottom of a ravine somewhere,” Lizard comments, the corners of his mouth turned down.
“Our search parties have found nothing. Skull is a good rider,” Thunder observes.
“Could have been oil on the road, an animal run out. Accidents happen, Brother,” Mace counters.
“Or it could have been fuckin’ deliberate,” offers Buzzard.
“That doesn’t make sense either.” Prez wipes a hand over his tired face. “Someone wants a Devil dead, they’d step up and take responsibility.”
Wasn’t that what I just said? Truth is, we’re going around and around in circles, making no headway at all. I’ve been out enough times trying to find signs of an incident anywhere an unreported accident might have happened. A damaged guard rail, debris on the road. Anything I’ve found I’ve stopped and investigated. Trouble is, there are miles and miles of road where Skull could have upended his bike, we don’t know which direction he was headed. There’s always the possibility that however eagle-eyed we try to be, we might miss something. At the end of the day there’s an empty seat around the table that should be filled. That I find unacceptable.
“It’s fuckin’ worrying he hasn’t used his credit or debit cards at all. Would he have had much cash on him?”
Trust our treasurer to think of the money trail.
“Who the fuck knows?” Thunder leans back and folds his arms. “If he’s staying with a friend, maybe he isn’t paying for anything.”
“Before anyone asks, his phone’s not come back to life,” Cad puts in.
“How’s Melissa coping?” the VP asks, his brow furrowed as he too tries to work through the conundrum of Skull’s continued absence.
“She’s being brave,” I tell him. “I think the fact she’s pregnant is helping her through. She’s trying to be strong and doing the right things for the baby. She’s got an appointment with Vi’s OB/GYN arranged.” Mel had decided to tell everyone she was pregnant, Vi’s advice apparently. It had been good advice too. Everyone would have supported her as I’d already told her, but knowing she was carrying a Devil inside had somehow made all the brothers more protective than they would otherwise have been.
Demon’s nodding. “Good. It gives her something to focus on. I’ve asked Violet to get her involved with Theo, talk about baby shit. Anything to keep her mind off where Skull could be.”
“How long are we going to be on lockdown, Prez?” I glance at the person who asked the question. I swear Hellfire gets a glint in his eye when he refers to his son with that title. As if he’s pleased he’s no longer got the responsibility of sitting at the head of the table, and proud he raised a son good enough to be voted in in his place.
Demon glares, a hidden message of ‘ask me something easy, will ya?’ then rubs at his beard. “How’s everyone managing?” He sees the look on my face, then grimaces.
“Mo’s complaining. Wants to get back to her yard. Reckons she’s got plants needing watering.” Hellfire raises his hands in a what
can you do gesture when the mention of flowers brings snorts.
“Well send a fuckin’ prospect to do it,” Prez snarls. Followed up with, “It poured down yesterday, how much water do fuckin’ plants need?”
Hellfire shrugs.
“Sindy’s fine. Long as she gets out to do her job, she’s happy enough.” Buzzard’s wife is a receptionist at our auto-shop. Prospects are on a rotation taking the old ladies to work. Mel started back a couple of days ago, but I’ve been following her myself.
“So, apart from Mo, no one’s going stir crazy?”
“Not as yet, Prez. But it will come.”
Demon acknowledges Mace. Then thinks for a moment. “To sum up, Skull’s still missing. Wretched Soulz had nothing, as you know, and the Silvestris are having enough internal problems without trying to start a war with us. If anyone has got Skull and is enjoying making us sweat, they may be holding on before issuing their demand or threat. I appreciate everyone’s cooperation, no one likes being cooped up. And agree, this can’t go on forever. At some point, we’ll let people go home.”
“Can you firm up on a date? It might make Mo happy to know there’s an end in sight.”
Demon gives a slow nod. “We’ll reassess at next week’s church. If nothing happens by then, we can only assume Skull’s dead, or decided to fuckin’ walk out on the club without turning in his patch.”
“You going to strip him of his membership?” Beef asks.
As growls go around the table, Prez bangs his fist. “If we find him breathing, got to be done, Brothers. We get patched in because of our loyalty to the club and the trust we’ve earned. Skull left with no word. This time next week he’ll have been gone almost three weeks. He won’t deserve his patch unless he’s got a good fuckin’ excuse.”
“If he’s not breathing?” I ask.
“Then he’s still a member, even dead.” This time there are murmurs of agreement.
“If he is in the land of the living, or dead by someone else’s hands, Prez, we got another problem. We’ve a cut in the wind.”
“Like that about as much as you, Beef. But until the man turns up, got to assume it’s lost.”
Devil's Dilemma: Satan's Devils MC Colorado Chapter #4 Page 12