“What if I miscarry again?”
I take a breath, trying to choose my words carefully. I should have realised that was the root of her problem. On top of the grief of what’s she’s lost, she’s worried she’ll never carry a baby to term. “Unlikely. I’m convinced it was circumstances, and nothing wrong with you. But if you do, we’ll deal, okay? It’s up to you whether you want to take the risk again.”
“What if I don’t?” she asks, contradicting her earlier statement. “You’ve just said you want a family…”
“I want you, Mel. If you don’t want to put yourself through that again, then maybe we can adopt.”
She’s quiet, thoughtful. “I’d like to try to give you a child.”
“You will,” I say confidently.
“Soon?”
If you fall off a horse you’re supposed to get back on it again. Does the same apply to being pregnant? I run the idea through my head. The answer’s not hard to find, I’d spent the last few months preparing to be a dad. “When the doctor gives you the all clear and we finally go to bed, I won’t use condoms if that’s what you want.” And fuck, I’ll have to hope I’m not firing blanks. Always did everything I could to prevent getting a woman pregnant before, never thought until now that there’s a possibility I can’t.
“Oh, Pyro,” she sighs, and gives me a small smile. “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve a man like you. You’ve stuck by me, and it’s been nothing but hell, but you’ve been there, every step of the way.” I go to speak but she stops me, saying the words I haven’t heard since Skull raised his ugly head. “I love you, Pyro.”
“Darlin’,” I begin, then grin. “Can’t say what you did to deserve me, but it must have been fuckin’ bad. But nothing’s changed the way that I feel, I love you too.”
I’d love to show her how much, but for now, I’ll make do with just holding her instead.
That we’d reached the stage where grief has lessened to the point where we’re once again in a place to say and hear our mutual declarations of what we feel for each other, seemed to have been a turning point. Sure, she still has bouts of misery, times when the tears would begin to fall, but they become less often. She starts talking of a future again, rather than analysing the past.
The first weekend she ventures to the clubhouse, Mel breaks down when she sees Vi cuddling Theo and is consoled by the understanding of her friend. Within moments there’s a group hug going on when they’re joined by Jay and Steph. All four women weeping together, as sorrow is shared.
It’s also there, in the clubroom, that for the first time since the miscarriage, I hear her laugh.
She’s cleared to return to work. Whether that has helped put her on more solid ground, I’m not sure. Maybe having a routine once again balances her out, I couldn’t know. But when I walk in one day, I hear her on the phone.
“I’ll ask Pyro to bring me up Friday evening. That way we can get a start on Saturday morning.” She catches sight of me and smiles. “Yeah, looking forward to it, Mom. See you soon. Love you.”
She looks at me, her lips curving upward once again, her cheeks a little pink.
“I take it we’re going to Denver.”
“Do you mind?”
“Mel, I’m over the fuckin’ moon if you think you feel strong enough to get this shit started.”
She stands, walking over to me with her hands outstretched. It’s natural to take hold of them and pull her into my arms. When I lean down to place my lips to her forehead, she’s staring up, her eyes hooded, her lips slightly parted.
Taking a chance, I lower my mouth to hers.
She opens for me.
It’s not a kiss full of unbridled passion, but it’s the first we’ve shared in weeks. I enjoy the moment, sweeping my tongue into her mouth, melding my lips to hers. I don’t push it, and don’t indicate I want more. After a moment I pull back.
“Now that was a nice welcome home.”
“I’m sorry,” she starts, but I stop her.
“Darlin’, it will happen when you’re ready. I’m not pushing you now.”
Little steps.
We might not yet be at the place where we can make love, but we’re basically living together. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. Since we’ve come back from Vegas, I’ve stayed in her house, she didn’t invite and I didn’t ask her. Was going to object if she had any other ideas, I couldn’t stand going one night without holding her, without hanging on to the person who represents everything good in my life.
I’m conscious that while she has a permanent place in my arms, we haven’t ever been intimate. Am I feeling the pressure of what will be our first time? Like fuck I am. My cock wants me to press her, my head tells me to hold back, convinced that things will happen in their own good time. Nothing forced can ever be right.
But damn, all this waiting. Being so close to her, my cock’s had to get extremely friendly with my hand.
It’s Thursday evening, the last night before we head up to Denver tomorrow after work. I’m sitting with a tablet on my lap looking at parts for a Harley a customer has asked me to customize. He’s given me his budget which isn’t a lot, so I’m trying to work out something within it that he might like. She’s sitting next to me reading one of those books she loves.
Casting a glance sideways, I see her cheeks flushing. I nudge her arm. “Good part?”
“What?” she jumps guiltily, as if she’d forgotten I was there.
I chuckle. “Darlin’, I reckon you’ve just got to a dirty bit.”
I think if it had been a paperback she’d have snapped it shut. “I don’t know what you mean,” she says primly, closing its cover and putting her e-reader down by her side. “What are you doing?”
“Uh uh. Someone’s changing the subject.”
“No, I was getting bored reading.”
I laugh louder. “If the way you’re blushing is you getting bored, I’m looking forward to seeing you excited.”
She wriggles a bit closer, her eyes finding mine. “Well, you did promise to make me scream.”
“And scream louder.” But I don’t make a comparison or say his name.
“Could be time you showed me, Ro,” she suggests, a little mischievously, with a twinkle in her eye.
“Yeah?” My tablet’s placed down in under a second and I’m on the floor on my knees in front of her, running my hands up her thighs. “I must remember to thank that author.”
“Ro!” she exclaims, but grins.
“Hmm.” Leaning forward, I take her lips, pressing my mouth down hard. As she opens and my tongue sweeps inside, I leave her in no doubt how much I want her. My cock’s gone from zero to full mast in seconds. This is our first time, I remember. Huh. I start to feel nervous now.
But all I can do is show her my kind of loving and hope that it works. My hands are actually shaking as I ask, “Can I take off your shirt?”
She’s anxious as well, I can see it in her face.
“Seen you naked before Darlin’, then wasn’t the time, but nothing I saw put me off in the slightest.”
My reminder of that day in the shower makes her face fall, but then the realisation that I’m still here together with my reassurance, makes her brave. Sitting forward she pulls off her tee in the way women do, crossing her arms over, grabbing hold of the hem and slipping it off over her head.
Her bra is functional, and I make a note to buy her some expensive satin and lace, she deserves to feel as pretty as I think she is. But plain though it might be, just the sight is enough to arouse me further, and I can’t wait to loosen my jeans.
I try to stop my hands trembling but can’t as I reach for the front clasp of her bra, a questioning look in my eyes. A brief second of hesitation, which I think is more down to her being uncertain of my reaction, rather than her having second thoughts now, and then she gives a sharp nod of capitulation.
I fumble but manage to get the fastening undone, then reveal perfection to my eyes. Generous tits that ar
e certainly more than a handful even for my big hands. Brownish areole surrounding already erect nipples.
“Fuck, Mel, you’re perfect. Did I tell you I was a tits man?”
I don’t waste a second before leaning forward, taking one into my mouth and sucking on it, then doing the same to the other. Her breasts cushion my face, I could suffocate here and die a happy man.
I plump, knead, suck and nibble, cataloguing all her sounds, what she likes, what doesn’t affect her, mapping out her pleasure as I take mine.
“Fucking gorgeous, Mel. Want to see more darlin’.” At last I pull away, I get to my feet, my hands inviting her to stand with me, and then go to the button of the skirt. “You know I find your work clothes sexy, but I’d prefer to see what’s under it now.”
That little flicker of hesitation again, then she nudges me to give her some space and undoes the button that I hadn’t pushed through the hole properly, then slides the zip down. The skirt pools at her feet.
“Panties too.” The request comes out hoarsely.
Inelegantly she slips them off, then kicks them away. She tries to cover her tummy, but I take hold of her hands and pull them apart. It’s not flat, it’s curvy, and as for her thighs, I gently move her around so I can see the back as well as the front, then have to tell her, “Christ, Mel, did I tell you I was an ass and thighs man?”
She giggles. “I thought you liked tits best.”
“With you, seems I like everything.” And oh, the possibilities.
Unable to resist, I slide my finger down her neatly trimmed pubic hair and through her labia. “Hmm, must have been a good book, you’re soaking.” Licking her cream off my finger, I glance down to see her pupils are dilated.
I move her around, with my hand on her shoulder I encourage her to sit down.
“I want to see you.” Her face looks up at me expectantly.
“I’ve got a problem here. You’ve got me rock hard already, you touching me, even having your eyes on me, might finish this before we begin.”
“I forgot you were an old man.”
“Old?” I growl while thinking how happy I am that she feels confident enough to joke around. “Remember that when you can’t walk in the morning.”
“Promises… Oh.”
Instead of undressing I’ve sunk back down to my knees and in a fluid movement belying my years, my mouth zooms in on her sensitive part.
It takes me a moment to find the spots which set her alight but finding them I’m merciless while she thrashes and squirms, and yeah, I have her screaming and it’s pretty loud. Then I do it all over again. Me? I’m having the time of my life. Don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything so sweet before.
“I want you!” she yells out after the third time. “I need you Pyro.”
I hate to disappoint anyone, and I’m not going to make her ask twice. Not this first time, anyway. In a flash I have my boots off and my jeans undone, and out of all my clothes in record time. Her eyes show she likes what I’m revealing, but there’s a slight flicker of concern when she sees I’m a big man.
“You’ll get used to me,” I tell her confidently, positioning her as I want her, one of her wonderful curvy thighs over mine leaving her wide open to me. A bit awkward making sure we don’t crash from the couch to the floor, but I can make it work.
She feels like heaven, I think as I push inside, taking my time so she’s able to adjust to my size. I feel like this is where I’m meant to be.
Then I freeze. “Darlin’, I’m bare.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Is that just arousal talking, or are you serious?” I haven’t moved since I remembered. “I’ve a condom in my wallet, just got carried away.”
“I’m okay with it if you are.”
My cock seems to get harder at the thought of coming inside her. “You sure it’s not too soon?”
“It isn’t. Medically there’s nothing to hold me back. If it happens, I’d like your baby Pyro. But if you’re…”
“There’s nothing I want more, sweetheart.”
If she wants a kid of mine, if she wants my sperm to bear fruit within her… to see her grow with my baby inside… I can’t think of anything better. I just need to slow myself down or I’ll be shooting my load well before time.
I push in deeper, then retreat, then do it again. A few more repeats and I’m fully in. I pause, breathing deeply.
“You can move.”
I huff a laugh. My pause isn’t for her, it’s for me. “Give me a moment, babe, or I’m not going to last.”
She’s so damn responsive as I suck on her nipples while thrusting inside her, encouraging noises leaving her mouth. When her muscles start to tighten, she moves her hand down. Lightly I brush it away and take over for her, stimulating her clit at the same time as I’m making sure the head of my cock hits her G-spot every damn time.
Her orgasmic cry takes me over, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. My spine tingles in anticipation as my balls draw up to my body, then I’m coming, bare, inside a woman for the very first time in my life.
When I regain my breath, I lean my forehead down to hers. “Jesus, Mel. Do you think we’ve made a baby?” My voice sounds like I feel, full of awe, hope and wonder.
“I don’t know,” she replies. “I think we might need more practice.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Melissa
I’d researched and asked the doctors. Despite rumours and myths to the contrary, there was no reason to wait. Once I’d stopped bleeding, it would be safe to try to fall pregnant again.
I wasn’t totally sure Pyro would feel the same way as me, but I’ve an empty space inside me that I’d like to have filled. This time with a man who wants a baby with me.
Pyro had been right, he had made me scream, and very loudly. He’s the biggest man I’ve ever been with, and the sex was amazing. It wasn’t just physical, we seemed to connect on every level, making it easy for us to throw in some teasing.
But Skull had taken me bare and had then regretted it.
I wake the next morning, as he’d promised I would, feeling stiff and sore but in the best of ways. I’ll just have to make an effort to move normally to throw Beth off the scent. Though I don’t know why I’m worried, she’d have probably assumed Pyro and I were having sex anyway, as he’s moved into my house.
The physical discomfort doesn’t worry me, but my mind flicks back to the arguments I’d had with Skull, those two times he’d forgotten a condom, but certainly hadn’t stopped to have a discussion about whether he should wear one or not.
“Mornin’, darlin’.” Pyro’s all-seeing eyes stare into mine, and he starts frowning. “What’s up?”
“We might be pregnant,” I tell him, my teeth worrying my lip.
His expression sharpens. “You got regrets?”
“No, but…”
“If you’re worried about me, I haven’t got buyer’s remorse. You should know me by now, I don’t go into anything without thinking about it. You’re mine, I’m yours, and if there’s a baby growing inside you, then it’s ours and I’ll be more than happy about it. Hey, what you shaking your head for?”
“I was just thinking you couldn’t get any more perfect. You always know just the right thing to say.”
“Only say it as I see it.” He throws off the covers and gets out of bed, reaching up over his head and stretching, his large cock bobs as though saying good morning. My tongue comes out to moisten my lips. He notices, then groans. “You and I have got to get to work.”
He’s right. We have, and I am a bit sore.
He turns and looks at me seriously. “Take your e-reader to work today. Read some more of that book during your lunch hour. Might get you in the mood for another round tonight.” He winks.
“We’re going to my parents later,” I remind him.
He rolls back his head. “Shit, well you’re going to need to be quiet then.”
I throw a pillow at him. “I am not having sex in my
parents’ house.”
He comes back to the bed and starts crawling up it, stopping when his hands are either side of my head and he’s staring down into my eyes. “What about making love, then?”
I shake my head.
“Damn.”
He continues to stare for a moment, then lowers his hips, letting me feel his rock-hard erection. “You move the sheet and open your legs and I think you’ll find I’m just in the right position.”
“I’ve got to get to work,” I squeak.
“Uh, come on.”
“You’re insatiable,” I reply, giggling as I do exactly what he suggests.
In the end, I am late, but only by a couple of minutes. I caught up time by washing and drying my hair in the quickest time ever.
“You look better. You’ve got more colour in your face.”
I acknowledge Beth’s comment while she gets us both a coffee from the machine. Something I thought I’d have to wait another few months for. Beth continually does little things for me, blaming herself for me losing the baby. She thinks if she hadn’t told me about seeing Skull, I wouldn’t have miscarried.
I’ve tried to explain I assign no blame to her, but she’s convinced it was somehow her fault.
Perhaps it would help to let her in on my secret. I lean in and whisper so only she can hear, “Pyro and I are trying for a baby. No one else knows, so keep it to yourself.”
“You are?” Her delight is palpable. Then her face falls. “But isn’t it too soon?”
“Physically, no, emotionally it’s down to the couple. This is my chance to do it right.”
“With the right man.”
I nod. “Exactly.”
It won’t replace the baby I’ve lost and who I’ll always mourn, but hopefully my son will have a brother or sister even though they’ll never meet in this world.
“So,” Beth catches up with me during the lunch break, when I’m not reading the book Pyro suggested, “you going to Denver to get the ball rolling this weekend?”
Devil's Dilemma: Satan's Devils MC Colorado Chapter #4 Page 29