“I figured you were gonna say that,” he said with a sigh. I shifted the way I was sitting, so that I was turned toward him, resting my knees against his leg. I had a feeling he was going to try to shut down and not answer my question, but I wasn’t going to let this one go. I wanted to know the answer. I wanted to know if it was me or not.
“If that’s what’s got you smoking right now, let’s go back inside. I’ll make sure you don’t think of cigarettes for the rest of the night,” he said with a devilish smile.
I let out a shy laugh and looked at him. The grin never left his face and as he got to his feet and pulled me up with him, I wondered if it was something he really wanted to do because I wanted to, or to just keep me from smoking. I had a bad habit of overthinking everything and I decided in that moment to just go with the flow of what was happening.
Nixon leaned down and wrapped his arms around my waist. It was a cute gesture since he was so much taller than me, so I met him halfway for the kiss, standing up on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
“Yeah, let’s definitely go inside,” I breathed when he pulled away from me.
Three
It turned out Nixon had a thing for knives. He ended up carrying me back inside and placed me on his bed gently before reaching into his nightstand and pulling one out. I held out my hand to inspect it to make sure it was unused and once I was satisfied, I handed it back to him.
It was the way he looked at me when he climbed on top of me that excited me the most. The look of pure dominance that told me that this was going to go his way and not mine made me so eager for it that I pulled him down gruffly toward me and kissed him deeply.
The kiss lasted mere moments because he pushed me away from him. I looked at him in confusion but when the grin returned, I began to quiver underneath him. Nixon reached down and grabbed my shirt around the middle and ripped it in half. Then before I had the chance to react, he used the knife to cut my bra apart and exposed my hard nipples. He leaned down, squeezing my left breast in his hand and began to suck on the other.
The moment I began to squirm underneath him, he ran the edge of the knife up and down my stomach. The sensation of the cold steel against my bare skin was fucking glorious. It held a feeling of danger that I never experienced before and I was loving every moment of it.
“How you doing, baby girl?” he asked, as he moved to my other breast. I didn’t get a chance to answer him though because he took my nipple in between his teeth and gave it a soft bite causing me to yelp out in pain and ecstasy.
I moaned and started to writhe under him again. I knew that if I moved too much there was a chance that he could cut me, and I honestly was wondering what it would feel like. To have the cold hard steel pressed against me, nicking one of my most sensitive areas while he kept me underneath him, kissing and sucking at me.
He chuckled against me, the feeling of his breath coming out in a rush sent shivers through my body. If he stopped now, I was pretty sure I’d fucking kill him.
But he didn’t stop. He made his way down my stomach, the bristles of his beard tickling me all the way down, where he stopped to cut my panties off.
I was eager to feel his tongue against me. I wanted it so bad that I felt like I was going to explode from just the anticipation, but Nixon had other plans. Instead, he used the edge of the knife to circle my clit. Instinctively, my body stiffened. I had gone from curiously excited to absolutely terrified that he might do what he was hinting at.
“What are you doing?” I asked, in bated breaths trying to sit up.
“Lay back down, Luna,” he commanded in a strict voice.
My knuckles turned white from how tightly I was gripping the sheets of the bed. Nixon pressed down a little harder, and continued his dangerous tease and I closed my eyes tightly hoping he would let up and eventually stop.
For the first time since we had been together, I could honestly admit that I was afraid of him.
“Do you like that?” he asked, quietly as he ran the tip of the knife over my clit.
“Yes,” I managed to squeak out.
It was honestly a Catch 22 situation. If I told him no, he’d probably cut it off, if I told him yes, he’d keep doing it.
“Good,” he whispered, before he slid a long, thick finger inside of me and let the knife fall to the carpeting below. He moved his finger quickly in and out of me, causing me to moan loudly before he stopped what he was doing. It was so abrupt that I was worried that he’d be going for his knife again.
I waited, eyes still closed, while I listened to the sound of him unzipping his jeans. I listened while the rustling of his clothes was the only sound besides my bated breathes, as he took them off and let them fall onto the carpet making a dull thud.
I couldn’t wait to feel the weight of him on top of me and I couldn’t wait to feel him fill me with his cock. It was an eager anticipation that I soon realized wasn’t something I should have pushed for.
He grabbed me by my legs and pulled me down toward him. Nixon pushed himself into me. He wasn’t gentle about it and he wasn’t as loving as I was hoping he would be. He used his size to dominate me and hold me down underneath him. To flip me onto my stomach when he wanted to fuck me from behind, and to pull me on top of him when he wanted me to ride him.
It took about an hour. I was surprised I lasted half of that because it was painful. Nixon wasn’t just a big guy in height, he was a big guy everywhere and he didn’t seem to care that he was hurting me either.
The one thing I can say about being fucked by him was that he made sure that I came before he did. Then, when he knew I was satisfied, he amped up his movements and thrusted so hard that my head was hitting the headboard.
But it was done, and I had gotten what I had asked for.
Four
When I woke up the next morning, the smell of bacon filled my nose. I smiled and rolled onto my side, but my smile faded when I saw the knife sticking out from underneath Nix’s still crumpled clothes on the carpet next to the bed. It reminded me that I didn’t have underwear anymore and that he had been dangerously close to seriously injuring me.
That’s what happens when you fall in love with someone you don’t really know, I scolded myself. I rubbed my eyes tiredly before I hopped off of his king sized bed and went to one of his dressers to retrieve a shirt.
I found a plane white Hanes t-shirt and pulled it over my head, smiling at the fact that it came down to my knees.
“Hungry?”
I jumped and closed the dresser drawer on my hand, letting out a fuck, and putting my hand to my mouth.
“Hey, you okay?” he asked, quickly coming over and taking a look at my hand.
“Yeah, you scared me. I’ll be alright,” I replied, wincing as he kissed the top of my hand.
“Sorry,” he replied with a smile. “Come on, I made breakfast.”
He took my other hand in his and led me into the kitchen. He pulled a chair out for me at the small kitchen table and then came over with a plate of bacon, scrambled eggs, toast with butter, and a pot of coffee.
“How’d you sleep?” he asked, once he got comfortable across from me.
“Okay,” I replied, nibbling on a piece of bacon. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but he had made the effort and he seemed to be his normal self for the moment.
And then we ate in silence. That’s just how Nixon was. A couple of questions followed by silence. I think he just liked having the company around him so he would never really talk if he didn’t have to.
I was honestly waiting for an explanation and a possible trip to urgent care to make sure that I didn’t have a concussion, but when breakfast was over, he took the dirty dishes and cups to the sink and washed them.
I bit my lip and got up from my chair. I went over to him as he started placing the dishes in the dish rack and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my cheek against his back.
He chuckled, but didn’t say anything. I wondered if I should
bring up the night before and hope it would never be repeated, or leave it alone.
“What’s up, darlin’?” he asked as he turned the faucets off.
“Well,” I said, letting go of him. “I’m kind of wondering what that was last night.”
“What you asked for,” he replied, reaching for a dish towel and drying his hands. He turned around and leaned back against the sink, giving me a curious look. “Too much?”
“Um.” I wrapped my arms around myself trying to think of what would be the right thing to say, but I couldn’t think of anything that might not potentially hurt his feelings.
“It was great,” I finally said.
He smiled and leaned down, placing his lips gently against my forehead. “I’ll never do that to you again, if that’s what’s got you so uptight this morning. I just ... I don’t know. I felt like you could handle it, at least once.”
“Now that we’ve done it your way, we’ll have to do it mine,” I said, feeling a little more confident, a grin starting to curve the corners of my lips.
Nixon laughed and crossed his huge arms across his chest. “Oh yeah?”
I nodded and grinned just a little wider. Nixon had his time to play. Six whole months and now it was going to be my turn.
Five
It took about a week to convince him to come out to my foster parent’s old place out in the country.
I guess he resented the fact that I had an actual house and not an apartment, but my parents were dead and had left me the property in their will. I was honestly surprised when the lawyer had contacted me a year ago because I was damn sure she hated me, but I guess maybe my foster father loved me after all. Either that or this was his way of making up years of hell to me.
Regardless, I had the place restored and the huge barn out back turned into something fun that I knew that I could use one day. Nixon had taken me out of my shell in the last few months, so it only made sense that I reward him with a visit to their place.
I didn’t expect that the time to use the barn would come so soon, or that I’d ever really use it at all, but Nixon was definitely someone who belonged in there with me.
I was dressed in my favorite black dress, fishnet stockings, and boots. I thought it could be fun to give him directions and then just wait for him inside.
Everything was ready for his arrival, but I got bored waiting for him, so I spent most of the time trying to figure out where I wanted to sit or where I would greet him from.
Glancing up, I smiled. I decided to wait for him on the shoddy second floor of the structure and would wait for him to find me. Nixon was definitely the love of my life and an amazing man, but I knew that this wasn’t the life I was supposed to live. I wasn’t supposed to be happy and he was just supposed to be a rebound off of my last shitty relationship anyway; not someone I actually want kill to spend the rest of my life with.
He would understand when it was all over. He wouldn’t have a choice, but to accept that we could never be and we’d both be better off without each other.
Another thirty minutes passed before I heard the sound of his car tires pulling up the long driveway toward my new home. I swung my legs happily over the side and waited for Nixon to come find me.
Six
“Luna?”
His voice echoed from outside into the huge structure and I closed my eyes, letting out a happy sigh. I told myself that I would at least tell him why before I did anything and then he would understand and everything would be okay. It had to be okay. I wouldn’t accept anything less.
“I’m in here!” I called out.
“Where?”
I didn’t say anything else and I didn’t have too. A few moments later, Nixon’s large frame entered the barn cautiously, as he glanced around.
“It’s time,” I said when he was standing almost directly below me.
Nixon jerked his head up and a small grin started to play across his handsome face.
“I thought we agreed to wait a year,” he said.
“Six months was more than enough, don’t you think? This ‘relationship’ has gotten to the point where I can honestly tell you that I love you and that wasn’t part of the deal either of us signed up for. You’re too good for me Nix. It’s definitely time.”
He looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded and took his leather jacket off.
“So, how’s this going down?” he asked, cracking his neck side to side.
“Simple. This room is full of things that could do the job, we both just have to get creative. And before you think you’re at a disadvantage, I haven’t been in here for a few months, so I’m not exactly sure what we’ll have to play with.”
I got to my feet and wiped off the dust from my dress. I went over to the rickety ladder that had been sitting against the wall and climbed down. By the time I got over to Nixon, he had his arms crossed over his chest, gripping a wrench tightly in one of his large hands.
I smiled and leaned up to kiss him one last time, hoping he would oblige and he did. It was the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced in my entire life and when it was over, when we pulled away from each other, I told him that I loved him. I told him that he had meant more to me in six months than anyone had in my entire life. I thanked him for taking a chance on me and for agreeing to let this end the way I wanted to before the appointed time.
I watched as his eyes brimmed with tears before he nodded and thanked me for the same.
I stepped back from him and closed my eyes. Reaching down the back of my dress, I showed him my choice. I waited with shaky breaths praying that this would be quick, but something happened that shouldn’t have.
The loud, clanging sound of the wrench as it hit the floor, the angry sound of frustration that escaped his throat. The way he tried to plead a case for us, saying that even though we had met on a murder enthusiast dating website, we didn’t have to do this. That we could be like normal people and live happily ever after. That a love like ours, while brief and intense, would really come only once in a lifetime.
For the briefest of moments I opened my eyes and considered his request. Nixon was on his knees now, hands on my hips, begging me not to make him do it to me. That I was worth so much more than I really thought, I was and that he would do everything he could to make me happy.
He asked me to marry him.
And that’s when it happened. That’s when I lost all sense of my self, and raised the meat hook over my head. I held it up for a moment, looking into his wide, surprised eyes wondering if I could really do this.
“You were too good to be true,” I said quietly as he raised his hands to shield himself.
Seven
“See, things were going great until he proposed to me. It was in that exact moment that I remembered what my foster mother said to me; about being the kind of person that didn’t deserve to be loved, and it just struck me so hard for the first time in my life. I managed to keep a promise to myself to find true love one day and I did. Once I was done with love, I put a an end to it. To us; the love story that was Nixon Thorne and Luna Odell,” I said, leaning forward to flick some ashes into the ashtray. I finally took a sip of the police station bitterly brewed coffee, before I took another drag off my smoke.
The handsome man in the suit who had been sitting across from while I recounted the story was Detective Greene of the Homicide Unit. He had been looking at me through narrowed eyes as I told him my story, and every now and then, he would shake his head in disbelief.
“Are you telling me that the reason you killed him was because he proposed to you?”
“You don’t get it, do you? Nixon was too good for me and by the time he fucking proposed, I knew it would never be something I could live with by saying yes. ”
“Why didn’t you just turn his proposal down and break up with him?” he asked.
“Because I didn’t want to hurt him by saying no. I knew how much Nixon loved me, and I swear to you that I loved him as much as he loved me. It
was a simple enough decision for me to not let the only man that ever made me feel safe end up in someone else’s arms. I couldn’t be with him forever, but I didn’t want him to be anyone else’s forever either,” I explained with a shrug.
He ran a hand tiredly over his face. I honestly couldn’t understand why he was so agitated with me. Ever since I had seen the newspaper article about Nixon, I had been building up the courage to come in here and tell our story. I just didn’t know what else he wanted from me; I had just told him one of the most genuine love stories I had ever known and he seemed unsatisfied with that.
“Is something wrong?” I asked in confusion.
“You haven’t told me how you did it yet or where we can find him,” the detective said, giving me a harsh stare.
I reached for my pack of smokes and lit another one while the one I had been smoking sat in the tray turning to ash. Did I really want to tell him how or did I just want to tell him where?
“What’s in it for me?” I asked curiously.
There was a tap on the glass window, almost like a knocking sound, and Detective Greene got to his feet and left the room. I put my left cheek down on the table and stared at the cigarette in between my fingertips. I missed Nixon. I missed the way he would hold me against him, I missed the way his eyes would light up when he smiled, and I missed the way he would hold me when we fell asleep in bed together.
The least I can do is tell him where he can find him, I decided with a long suffering sigh.
Detective Greene reentered the room a few moments later and sat down across from me again.
“Here’s the deal. You tell us where we can find him and since you've been cooperating so far, we can let the DA know and you'll probably get a recommendation of fifteen to twenty five years,” he said, sliding a yellow legal pad toward me.
“So what’s this for then?” I asked, curiously.
Rebound (Love Burns #1) Page 2