by Sara Brookes
She cleared her throat. “I was calling to find out if that invitation for dinner is still open.”
“Of course. Just name the date and I’m yours.” Keep it together, Conners. You’re going to blow this if you push too hard with innuendo-fucking-laced comments. You’ve screwed up that way before. Learn from your mistakes, you ass.
“That’s quite an offer.” Her laughter loosened the knot in his stomach. “How about just dinner for now? We’ll discuss who can be whose over dessert. Are you free tonight?”
“Sure. Shall I pick you up or do you want to just meet at The Copper Nickel?”
“How about we meet there at nine? I’ve got some work to finish up first.”
The choice to meet him there kept a certain amount of distance between them. Anything that would make her feel comfortable. He wasn’t about to repeat the movie theater incident. “See you there then.”
He blew out a shaky breath as the call ended. Amazing how one woman could cause him to react as if he was a schoolboy in a candy store. He’d never had this explosive of a reaction or wanted a woman this much. She was someone special. He recognized the fact he’d been given another chance with her and wasn’t about to let the opportunity slip through his fingers again.
A quick glance at his watch showed he had a few hours before dinner. The hours passed rapidly and a slow night at the coffee house allowed him to step through the restaurant doors five minutes early. As his gaze swept the area, he spotted Allison. A thrill shot through him at the sight of her. She’d either finished work early or intentionally arrived before him.
As he made his way to the table, Patrick noticed she’d chosen something other than the usual casual attire he’d grown accustomed to during the installation. And it wasn’t as alluring as the skinny jeans and camisole top she’d worn to the theater. While it wasn’t something he would classify as dressy, the casual slacks and cotton tee suited her. He smirked when he saw the pair of well-worn Converse sneakers peeking out from the hem of her pants. That smirk spread into a full-blown grin as her gaze met his.
The jitteriness on his nerves melted away. He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. “Good to see you again.”
“And you. How have you been?”
He hated small talk. There was a necessity to it, especially when he considered the amount he had to engage in while at the coffee house. For her, however, he’d talk as much as she wanted. “Good. You?”
“Stressed.” She gave a strangled laugh.
“Is everything all right?”
“I’d like to apologize again for leaving the other night.”
“It was work. I understand it happens.”
“It wasn’t work,” she said in a rush.
She began twirling the corner of her napkin around her finger, avoiding his gaze. His stomach sank. He’d been right. He’d moved too fast at the theater. In for a long night of regret, he gathered his composure and steeled himself. “I should be the one apologizing for kissing you then. Obviously I scared you off. That wasn’t my intention at all.”
The waiter appeared then to take their order. Allison continued to play with the napkin in front of her. He watched in amazement as she appeared to conduct a small war in her brain. When the waiter moved away, she set her napkin on the table. “Yes. Your kiss petrified me, but not the way you’re probably thinking. That’s why I wanted to have dinner with you.”
That was something at least. “So what way am I thinking?”
She licked her lips before taking a sip of water. He didn’t miss the fact her fingers shook as she held the glass. She was nervous. No, not nervous. Skittish. She was a skittish little kitten standing before the Big Bad Wolf. A swell of triumph speared through him. He hadn’t been wrong about her at all.
“You think I didn’t enjoy the kiss and don’t want you to do it again. But you’d be wrong. I want to know a lot more about you. Maybe even see what you have to offer. I can’t stop thinking about the kiss at the theater. How it made me feel. How you make me feel.”
“I think I’d like for us to get to know each other very much, Allison.” The blush he’d already come to love returned to her cheeks. There were, of course, things she would need to know. He’d intended to share those things she’d need to understand all along. Dinner arrived at that moment. He refrained from continuing until the waiter retreated. Now that he knew of a mutual interest, he was able to relax. “Are you surprised you enjoyed my kiss?”
Anxiety drained from her face. “In fact, I was.”
“Is that because you enjoyed it or because I’m a good kisser?” he teased.
“A very bold statement.” She gave a light laugh before sipping her coffee. “You’re pretty self-assured and full of yourself.”
“I can be. In the right situation, at least. They both fell quiet as they dug into their meals. He studied her as she ate slowly, as though she had something weighing heavily on her mind. When she started pushing her food around on her plate, he hid a smile behind his hand. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“You’re right on both counts.” She pushed away her plate of half-eaten food. “Shall we go to my house or yours?”
He grinned, taking his time to sip the excellent after-dinner coffee. “Well, you certainly don’t waste any time once you’ve set your mind to something, do you?”
“I’ve done a little soul searching the past few days. I spend far too much time analyzing things to within an inch of their life. So much that I’ve lost out on a few things. While that is certainly a good work ethic, it’s not necessarily so when it comes to sex. My body’s trying to tell me something if the fantasies I keep having about you are any indication. For once, I’m going to listen. I’ve decided I want something, Patrick. And that something is you.”
Her determined gaze caused a rush of blood to his cock. He covered the uncomfortable press against the zipper of his pants by shifting in his seat. They needed to slow down a little. His carefully constructed rules were too important to ignore. “Before we convene to somewhere more comfortable, I want to clarify a few things. Things you should know about me up front.” He continued despite her curious look, determined this time things would not fly off track between them. “I require something from my lovers that makes some people…uncomfortable.”
“Such as?”
Her innocent curiosity was an aphrodisiac. Someone could make a fortune if they figured out how to duplicate it. “I have an affinity for a certain amount of restraint from my lovers.”
“Restraint? You mean handcuffs?” she whispered.
Silver flashed as he played with the piece of silverware. Handcuffs. If only the single word summed up his interests and made everything that simple. He sometimes wished it did. Then other times, he basked in the fact it didn’t. He was quite fond of his particular affinity for leather and never hid the proclivity from women. He’d long ago passed the point where he cared what people thought about his out-of-the-ordinary interests.
“My tastes go beyond handcuffs, Allison.”
“I’m a big girl, Patrick. If you’re trying to deliberately scare me off by telling me you’re into kinky stuff—it’s not working. In fact, as odd as it may sound, I knew something was different about you. Hearing that just makes me want to know more.” Her steely glare glinted defiantly, a signal she meant exactly what she said.
He folded his hands on the table as his nerves jumped with anticipation.It was as if he was twenty years old again, learning the ebb and flow created between a Dom and his submissive as they worked together. He’d always loved this part, the negotiation between two people who wanted to draw pleasure from one another.
“Fine. I’ll start this conversation by telling you there are ground rules we both have to abide by.”
“Why?”
“My sexual preferences aren’t just about leather or fancy words. They’re more than jumping each other to fuck until we’re both satisfied. I want to show you sex is so much more than you’ve ever imagined. Trust plays a huge r
ole in what I’m talking about. Part of developing the trust is having a conversation such as this before anything physical happens. That way, sex doesn’t cloud the necessity of making smart choices.”
“I can respect that.”
“Tell me, Allison, how much experience do you have with dominant and submissive roles?” She didn’t appear to be taken aback by his question, which he took as a good sign.
“About the same as most people who are curious, I think. They’re not foreign concepts to me. Had a boyfriend once who used an old plastic clothesline to tie my wrists to the bedposts of his bed. To be honest, it wasn’t exactly comfortable. But it certainly…sparked something that I’ve always been curious about.”
He cursed the cocksucking bastard who’d been ignorant enough to do that to her. Stupid young male hormones tended not to think about the consequences of their actions when sex entered the picture. Women should be cherished and appreciated. Not hog-tied like some piece of livestock and a convenient hole to use when the man didn’t want to jack off with his hand.
Allison coughed into her hand. “Well, I agree he was an ass. I don’t know about the cocksucker part.”
Had he spoken out loud? He smiled but didn’t offer an apology. “But no true submission? No work on trust issues between you and a Dom?”
“To be honest, my experience with sex is limited. I’ve always been the best friend instead of the girlfriend. All through high school and college, I kept my head buried in books and computers. Video games too, when I had the time. When my friends, most of whom were male, wanted to get together, it was for RPGs. Not to take me on a date. Not much has changed since then.”
The thought of seeing her dressed in some tight-fitting costume, her hands bound behind her, made his mouth dry. “You know, role playing can be good.”
She grunted. “Not with fire-breathing dragons, pointed-eared elves and wand-wielding wizards. Not exactly high on the sexy meter. I was just one of the guys. Odd as it sounds, I’m still okay with it.” She shrugged.
For some reason, he got the distinct impression she wasn’t being honest with herself. “Are you really?”
A rush of breath fluttered the cloth napkin in front of her. A signal Patrick had struck a chord. “No. But it always sounds better when people ask instead of spouting how sexually frustrated I am. There are only so many times I can use whatever vibrator I happen to pull out of the drawer. A girl can only date her hand for so long. I’m babbling again in addition to spouting off an embarrassing amount of TMI.”
Pity she’d stopped. He’d actually been enjoying her chatter. “It’s very informative babbling. You’re not afraid of toys and such things. It means you have an open mind about sex. Most people can’t say that. Sure, some people pretend to the rest of the world, but do you think many actually admit to owning or using toys to help get them off? It’s highly doubtful.”
“Well then, you’re welcome to do a little informative babbling of your own.” Her arms crossed as she sat back, pressing those breasts together again. She really needed to stop doing that, his dick was already a steel rod in his pants. “What about you? What were you like in high school?”
She deserved to know a little about him other than just his sexual interests. Besides, trading stories about their youth could prove interesting. Not only would it let her know they weren’t so different, but would also serve to reassure any lingering concerns she had about spending time with him in a more intimate setting. “Typical jock throughout high school and college.”
“Did you attend some fancy Ivy-League university?”
Where he’d attended college wasn’t as important as the fact that he’d done whatever possible in order to avoid responsibility for long stretches of time. “Earned my business degree at the University of Virginia. I blew my shoulder out senior year and took it pretty hard. My mother convinced me to stay since I was so close to graduating. Baseball was all I knew up to that point. Not being able to play forced me to take a long, very hard look at my life and what I wanted out of it.”
“Oh shit. You’re that Patrick Conners.” Her eyes widened in surprise as her fist banged against the table. The dishes shook and rattled from the force.
“Every morning when I wake up.”
It had been awhile since someone had pointed out who he was. Back in school, it hadn’t been that unusual. In fact, when he’d still played, he’d done everything he could to make sure everyone knew who he was. Now, because of the injury, he did his best to avoid anyone who might recognize him. They reminded him too vividly of what he’d lost.
He’d long since come to terms with the change in his life because it allowed him go into business with his brother in this wonderful town. For the very first time ever, he was glad for the injury. Those decisions brought him to this very point in his life. Lived any other way, he may not have a very gorgeous and entertaining woman sitting across from him.
His injury taught him to be a glass-half-full kind of guy.
“Sorry. My brothers are sports nuts. Any sport, any score and they could spout statistics to you as if the game just happened. They were fanatical about baseball when we were all still living at home. I heard stories about you. About how you blew out your shoulder during the final game of the—crap on hot buttered toast, there I go again. I’m sorry. Somehow I seriously doubt you want to relive that moment of your life.”
As she rubbed at the line on her temple, he found himself amused by her visible frustration. Hearing about his failing as a young man wasn’t an annoyance from Allison. In fact, he rather liked it. Oddly enough, it thrilled him that she knew about him long before he’d met her—even if it had been in name only.
“I think I enjoy hearing you talk about me that way.”
“So when did you figure out this whole…thing?” The side of her hand hit the edge of the water glass as she waved with a flourish. She righted the glass before shoving a hand through her hair in frustration. The thick fall of her hair tumbled around her shoulders as she pulled out the tie. His fingers itched to run through the bi-colored locks. He could almost feel the texture against his palms as he cradled her head while she sucked his cock dry. His body shivered with anticipation.
“It is so much more than a thing.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you.”
He held up a hand. “You didn’t. But it’s all right. You can call my sexual choices what they are.” If this kind of nervous energy was her only reaction after listening to what he asked of a lover in bed, then he was ahead of the game. A potential lover once spit in his face and called him various names he’d never heard before. Inventive names, but needless to say, that talk had ended very badly.
“And what do you call those choices?”
“BDSM.” As soon as her face blanched, he offered a hand across the table. “That’s an umbrella word, Allison. A catch-all used to categorize a lot of different things. Your immediate thoughts are probably not even close to the reality. Mainstream America is…puritanical at best, while still being highly influential.”
He signed their check, then stood and took her hand again. As soon as they were a block away from the restaurant, he backed her against the brick wall of an old building. He fit his fingers against her chin as he tilted her face. Her eyes were clear, void of any sort of worry as he pinned her.
Instead he saw acceptance. Wonder. Curiosity.
“I’m not going to beat you into submission. In fact, I won’t hit you in any way. I’m not particularly into the whole spanking for punishment. And I’m not interested in humiliating you. I will never make you feel less about yourself or feel worthless. The last thing I want to do is have you experience any amount of animosity toward me because I’ve done something you don’t like.”
“That’s very encouraging.” She chewed her lip. He desperately wanted to kiss her worries away. “But what if I don’t know what I do and don’t like?”
Her question sent a hot slash of emotion spiraling through him. Before
he gave in to his desire to kiss her, she needed to know she wasn’t in this alone. “It’s a journey we shall take together. If you’ll allow me to worship you. If you’ll trust me enough to give you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.”
She nodded, resting her hands against his chest. Pleased she didn’t push him away, Patrick held still, allowing her to use him for support. “Since I’m obviously the one on the less experienced side, I should probably be the one asking if you’ll have me.”
He pushed his hips against hers and was rewarded by her quiet intake of breath. “There is no question I want you, Allison. I thought you would have been able to tell from the kiss at the movie theater. But just in case there’s doubt left, allow me to give you a small demonstration.”
His mouth claimed hers, hot and passionate. A possessive kiss, it was nothing similar to the one he’d shared with her at the theater. She needed to understand he intended for her to be his. She whimpered softly, the ripple of the noise traveling through his body. Instantly intoxicated with the sound, he desired more. But not here and not now. What he had in mind was too explicit to carry out on the street. While he would never rule out any form of sex, right now he didn’t think public intercourse would suit either of them.
He reluctantly tore his mouth from hers. The glazed look in her eyes, the pink flush of her lips, instantly fascinated him. He was eager to see what other surprises were in store for them. “Come to my place. We’ll find our way together.”
Chapter Four
Allison had agreed without hesitation. They’d spent the half-hour stroll from The Copper Nickel to his home deep in a discussion about their jobs and daily life. As mundane as it sounded, she’d actually learned quite a bit about him. By the time Patrick stopped in front of a large brick building and turned to her, she felt utterly at ease. She wondered why she’d made such a fuss at the movie theater in the first place.
She’d meant what she’d said to him earlier about the search through her soul. Since puberty, relationships had never been a priority for her. Even after she’d realized how good-looking some men were. There had been a small handful of less-than-meaningful dating experiences in high school and even fewer sexual encounters in college. Certainly nothing that compared to how Patrick made her feel since the movie festival. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. About how his lips felt so warm and soft against hers. How the chords of his forearm muscles had felt under her palms made her feel so safe.