by Sara Brookes
Elena approached the front door of Sanctuary. Allison waited until she unlocked the door, then bolted across the street, dodging raindrops. Once inside, both women shook their jackets, forming small rings of water on the concrete floor.
“I hate the rain,” Elena stated as she looped her shiny purple rain slicker on a hook fastened to the wall. “Makes life a living hell when you choose to wear nice things.”
Allison glanced down at her own clothing choices for the night. The faded jeans and polo shirt she’d thought were nice enough just minutes ago suddenly felt woefully inadequate. Especially considering how well Elena had put herself together.
The woman didn’t have anywhere special to be and still wore a pencil skirt, boots to her knees and a crisply pressed Oxford shirt. Of course, the entire ensemble was black and the boots looked to be some sort of shiny vinyl material. Allison knew she couldn’t have put that look together in a million years. Caught up in her assessment of Elena’s clothing choice for the night, she realized she’d missed Elena’s question. “Sorry?”
“I asked about your jeans. I’ve been trying to find a pair that would make my ass look that high and tight.”
“Uh, I don’t remember. Old Navy, maybe?”
“I should go there more often. They have some really cute things. I’ve just been so swamped recently with work.” Elena pulled a key out of her bag, swearing loudly as she fought with the lock. “I’ve been asking Patrick to take a look at this stupid door knob for months.”
“You know, I mentioned something to him when he first brought me here about replacing the locks. Maybe switch them for more secure electronic ones. I’d forgotten all about it though.”
“That’s all right. I assume your mind has been elsewhere.” Elena swore again as she threw her shoulder into the solid door before it finally gave with a high-pitched squeal. “Not very high on the sexy scale to bring a potential lover here and find yourself coated in sweat by the time you get the damn door open. I don’t mind working up a sweat while I work, but at least I should get some enjoyment out of it.”
Allison followed Elena. The whole building held enough reminders without the additional torture of Patrick’s room across the hall. His behavior may have been uncalled for, but she knew there had to be more to the story. There just had to be. But she was just afraid to see him face-to-face because she didn’t trust herself to patiently listen. He’d pissed her off too much.
“I can work up a plan you can present to Patrick. Maybe tell him to up your rent or something to help pay for it? If you’re worried about anyone saying anything about what you four have here, there’s a confidentiality clause in the contract.”
“So you wouldn’t do the work?” Elena sounded disappointed.
Allison would love to do the wiring labor, since she’d been itching to get her hands on the new cipher locks that had just arrived. Her work focused mainly on the network systems, but a few pastries could sway her boss. There was, however, one problem. “I’m not certain Patrick would want me to do the job. Quite honestly, I’m not sure I’d want to do it. Not after what happened.”
Elena shot her a wry look. “I find that hard to believe. I saw the job you did at the coffee house. I know I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to have you install something here. Patrick’s smart enough to know when to get the best.”
“Yeah, well, you didn’t have a blowout fight with the owner.”
The confrontation in her kitchen had caused more than a few restless nights. Which meant she’d taken to sleeping wherever and whenever possible. She’d even fallen asleep in the break room at work two days ago. Totally uncharacteristic of her to let responsibility slide because of her personal life.
Elena dropped her bag near a small table, immediately heading for the bar tucked into the corner. Allison took the opportunity to take in the room she’d heard so much about. Similar to Patrick’s room, Elena’s space was simply furnished. An understated brown couch and two matching chairs sat near the door, with a small kitchenette off to the side. Unlike the other room with its manly implements, this room was nearly empty. She didn’t want to think about what Elena did with all this free space.
“You know, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a female submissive here,” Elena stated as she slid into the chair across from her. She placed two highball glasses on the low table between them. “Just apple juice, I promise. Alcohol doesn’t come anywhere near my room. Just one of my many quirks. So let’s get to the nitty-gritty of all this. Did Patrick do something you didn’t want? Did he hit you? Beat you? Force you to do something sexually that you didn’t agree to?”
Allison’s eyes widened as she bobbled the glass and nearly spilled the contents. She placed the glass on the table, twiddling her thumbs to give herself something to do. “No, he hasn’t done a thing sexually that I haven’t absolutely loved. Surprisingly enough, he’s more of a gentleman than most other men I know or have dated. He opened my mind to another world of possibilities. Ones that I held deep inside me. He helped me discover sex wasn’t just the act of getting off. I’ve been asking myself why the idea of bondage turns me on as much as it does.”
“And?”
“I didn’t think I was the type of person who’d be into this kind of thing. Too orderly. Too straitlaced. Too…Ms. Goody Two-Shoes.”
“Too nerdy? Too tomboyish? You know, plenty of people have enjoyed this lifestyle for years who are exactly what you just described. Look at me, for example. I keep two identical personal calendars, one electronic and one paper, in order to keep my life straight. I deal with lines and angles and—God forbid—geometry all day long on a computer with such a powerful video card I think it would even cause you to drool.” She uncrossed her long legs as she leaned forward, holding her finger near her lips. “Here’s something utterly shocking. I was president of the math club in high school. Surely I can’t be a Domme, right? I’m too smart to be into such kinky shit.”
Allison laughed. “I know, I know. It’s stupid. I just never imagined I’d find someone who suited all my needs without saying a word.”
“Oh sweetie, you say plenty without saying a word.” Elena reached out, skimming her fingers under Allison’s chin. “Try this on for size. You don’t need to give up control full time. You don’t want to serve a Master. You like a bit of pain to add an edge to sex, but you don’t want any more than that. You only like playing roles if it pertains to your video games or comic book conventions. You simply want a loss of control when it comes to sex.” Her fingers shifted as she lifted Allison’s chin so their gazes met. “Am I in the ballpark with any of that?”
“Home run.” Allison blew out an unsteady breath.
“I have always enjoyed winning at sports.” Elena withdrew her touch, quietly studying Allison from a distance. “You know, I’m still waiting to hear the bad part about this. The part that has you spooked, I mean. The reason why you two aren’t on speaking terms. All you’ve given me so far are reasons why you like BDSM.”
Allison knew they weren’t going to get anywhere unless she confided in her. “It’s this whole dominant and submissive thing. I once told Patrick it’s more comforting than I ever imagined.”
Elena’s laughter filled the space around them. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know.” Allison rolled her eyes, causing Elena to hold up a hand. “Sorry. Go on.”
“He took a turn with it that I wasn’t expecting. Submitting to him is…wonderful. We always kept the domination exclusive to the bedroom or at least here. You are right. The power exchange is relegated to our sex life. But he took it one step too far when he told me how my relationship with my friends should be. He tried to assert his possessive streak in my home, with my friends. It stung a great deal more than I was expecting.”
“It sounds as though he made a mistake by letting his mouth get ahead of his brain. He’s a good guy. Most women would jump at the chance for this kind of opportunity. Patrick is a very passionate man who puts his heart
and soul into something he believes in. Sounds as if he believed in you.”
Allison wet her lips. “Sometimes passion is a bad thing. He pinned me to my refrigerator.”
“Come again?”
“Our argument got a little heated. Something inside him…changed. He became an ugly mutation of the man I thought I was starting to love. I didn’t recognize him.”
Elena reached for her wrist, pulling it toward her as her eyes widened in alarm. “Did he hurt you? Hit you in any way? Because so help me, if he did I’m going to serve his ass to him on a platter.”
“No. No, I’m fine. Really. I don’t understand how I could have missed something like this. It just wasn’t him, you know? Something tells me that isn’t normal for him, is it?”
“You’re right. It’s not. I think he was just being protective and it got the best of him. Not that I think it excuses his behavior, but it certainly would explain it.” Elena crossed to the small bar in order to fix another juice. She returned a minute later, setting her full glass on the table.
“Maybe that was his intent, but I can handle myself. I can speak up when someone says something I’m offended by. They were joking around. No one meant anything. It wasn’t as if what they said was directed at me in any way.”
“What was said?”
“Just some asinine guy talk. I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to their comments about their sex life—or lack of one—half the time. It’s just shit guys say to one another about women.”
Elena’s eyebrows winged up. “Then it seems as if he was offended for you. That’s what I meant about him being protective. Maybe he thought you couldn’t see it because you’re too close to your friends.”
“But he took it one step too far, Elena. It’s not his place to take care of me that way. I surrender control to him in the bedroom but that’s it. That’s where it ends.”
Elena rose, coming to sit beside Allison. “I’m going to let you in on a secret. It’s not mine to share entirely, but I’ll tell you enough so maybe you’ll understand what happened in that room. Once you hear this, it’s entirely up to you about where to go from here.
“The Conners family isn’t the traditional model, unless having an abusive father is typical. Patrick needs to be in charge of his life because of what happened when he was younger. Being that dominant allows him the control he believes he needs to keep him from turning into his father. Sounds as if that sterling silver control of his faltered. The best Doms make mistakes or they wouldn’t be human.
“Let me ask you this. He left, didn’t he?”
“Yes,” Allison quietly replied as she squeezed Elena’s hand. “Because I told him to.”
“My guess would be that he would have done it even if you hadn’t said anything. He recognized the need to remove himself from a situation that had clearly gotten out of hand. Think about why he’s a perfect gentleman. He feels a woman should be treated a certain way because he spent his childhood watching his father treat his mother as if she were no better than common dirt.
“Patrick cherishes women and everything about them. For him, domination isn’t about humiliation or degradation, but eliminating it. I’d hedge my bet that he needs you just as much as you’ve found you need him. While you give him what he needs sexually, you also give him a love he’s never had. That may not be something he expected. Have you discussed love?”
Allison snorted. “We’ve been a little busy.”
A warm smile spread on flawlessly painted red lips. “As should be the case for two young curious souls.”
“I’ve never met anyone who swept over me this way. Or had a lover this patient and attentive.”
Elena popped a cube of ice in her mouth and chewed. “Do you mean the whole domination aspect?”
Allison’s heart slammed against her rib cage. “Well, no, but that too. I meant I’ve never found someone who made me feel cherished. Alive. Safe and secure at the same time they’ve bound me to a wall and forced me to orgasm, or had someone use things to delay them, or…any of it. He cares what I think outside of Sanctuary too. Truly. No one’s ever cared that much about me before.”
Elena shrugged, returning her glass to the table. “Some live this kind of lifestyle 24/7. It’s their way of life. Most choose it because it’s something they need. It makes them safe and secure—just as you said.”
Allison wasn’t sure if it was a lifestyle she could live outside of the bedroom. She liked their camaraderie even while they did the most mundane things. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot, you can ask me anything. Just a couple of us girls here.”
“Why did I never know I needed it before now? Why wasn’t this something I sought out before I met him?”
Elena propped her hand on her hip as she stood. “The right person hadn’t come along. So it wasn’t something you knew you needed. You could easily find another Dom who would be more than happy to step in. However, you two have the added benefit of love. It’s a rare thing to have the two together. You’ve found a way to make two of the most intimate things in the world work together. I think you just need to hear it from him. You’re going to have to stop avoiding each other, sugar.”
Chapter Fourteen
A painful headache continued to stack up behind Patrick’s eyes as he worked. He’d started counting the minutes to when his shift ended the moment he’d walked through the doors. Stress continued to have the upper hand despite his best efforts to avoid dealing with it. So much so, he’d been forced to call in another staff member to take the evening shift because Alex decided to stay with their mother to try to sort through the ruins of his life. Who could blame him?
Work hadn’t made him feel better about the crappiness of his life. He was exhausted, emotionally drained and just plain spent. Despite how shitty he felt, he was still responsible for the business. He made a tick on an inventory sheet to allot for the sleeve of cups he’d pulled out of the back and heard a customer approach.
He was already prepared to fix whatever ornate concoction they wanted. That was his job. He had to do it despite the fact his world had fallen apart. “Welcome to Perfect Shot, can I help you?”
“Perhaps.”
Everything inside him went cold when he realized Allison was the customer on the other side of the counter. His breath caught as panic seized him. Nervous energy made his hands shake, causing him to drop the pencil as if it was a hot poker. To hide the twitching, he stuffed his hands into his pockets.
He was afraid to look up when he considered how badly he’d handled things. Despite his family’s insistence, he’d simply gone straight home and collapsed on his bed. Sixteen hours of sleep hadn’t done much except give him this raging headache. He had no choice but to confront the problem head on now because she stood here in living, breathing color.
“Allison, I—”
“I heard you were back.” She tapped her finger on the counter. “I needed to see for myself that you were okay. You’re back, but I don’t think you’re okay.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I was an ass.”
“You were,” she said casually. “We need to talk, but I don’t think this is the time or the place. Can I just get a coffee and we’ll talk later tonight? I’ve got to get to work.”
He swallowed, poured a tall cup of coffee and handed it to her. “The Copper Nickel at six?”
“How about The Southern Ridge Grille instead?” She didn’t wait for his confirmation, leaving him to stare at her back as she walked away.
* * * * *
He’d purposefully chosen a different table from the last time they were at the restaurant. As he lowered himself into the chair, he was surprised to find himself nervous. The feeling was uncharacteristic. He wasn’t accustomed to the power of the feeling and he wasn’t sure he liked it all that much. However, Allison had made some jerky movements of her own when he’d seen her earlier. No doubt she was just as unsettled.
As she had every right to be.
> In the blink of an eye, he’d turned into something he hated with every fiber of his being. He’d succumbed to the dormant beast prowling deep in his soul and given in to what he hated the most about his life. No amount of apologizing would ever make up for putting his hands on her. Not the way he had. Especially when he’d promised her he would never do such a thing. He was grateful she’d wanted to meet in the first place. By all accounts, she shouldn’t have wanted to give him the time of day.
She sat forward in her seat with her elbows propped on the table as if she had something she was anxious to get off her chest. It was best to allow her the opportunity to speak first, lest he put his foot in his mouth again. Their waiter set water, tea and a selection of breads in a decorative basket in the center of their table.
When he finally moved away, Allison gave Patrick a tight smile. “I know how much you despise small talk, so I don’t think you’ll mind me getting to the point.”
“By all means, please.”
As she sipped her water, he noted the dark smudges under her eyes. He hated that he’d caused pain in her life that he couldn’t soothe away. “You once told me that you’d never hurt me without some kind of pleasure to counterbalance the pain.” She paused while he nodded. “Sometimes pain is more than just physical.”
“Oh believe me, I know all about mental anguish,” he murmured.
She stared at him for a few long moments. “I understand what you meant when you said you weren’t into humiliation for pleasure. It’s one of your hard limits, isn’t it?”
“Yes. It is.” He owed her insight into his dirty little secret after what he’d done. “I would’ve never blown out my shoulder senior year if my father hadn’t been an abusive prick. He was quite fond of using his fists on whoever was the closest at the time, at least to make sure he got his point across. It was usually my mother who took the brunt, but Alex and I weren’t exempt, depending on his mood.