© 2019 by Caleb Breakey
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2019
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1782-7
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
For Brittney, my love and treasure.
Contents
Cover
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
1
The branding iron pulsated reddish orange in the corner fireplace.
It was time.
The conductor applied the last bit of cakey white paste to his face and pulled his hood over his eyes. He took a seat in front of a tripod-mounted camera in the center of his basement and pressed Play. The woman on the other end of the private feed was probably picking up static this very minute. He held his breath.
An icon appeared to show that his audience of one had tuned in.
“Hello, Janet,” he whispered into the lens. Behind him, firelight cast waves of mango glow onto a crate in which lay Janet’s treasure—her companion, her confidant.
The pup yawned.
“Hold a moment, Ruby is stirring.”
The conductor walked to the crate, unlocked its door, and tousled the dog’s ears. Soft as a lamb’s, they were. The Labrador casually scanned the unfamiliar lair, still disoriented from the muscle relaxants he’d snuck into her food dish. She looked into his eyes with such trust, such innocence.
The conductor hooked a retractable leash onto her pink collar and led the delirious pup directly in front of the camera. “Don’t mind her clumsiness. This little jewel has been tripping nirvana for hours. She was a very hungry girl.”
How was Janet doing so far? Tearing up? Feisty little thing was probably cursing him out.
“This is a one-way feed, Janet—wouldn’t want emotion getting the best of us, given your relationship with lovely Ruby.” The conductor sat and crossed his legs. “Life and death—we think of these as destinations, but they’re not . . . they’re not. They’re choices. And you have a choice to make. For you. For your sister. And for your stupid dog.”
The conductor tossed the leash over a support beam and caught it on its way back down. Then he yanked.
Ruby yelped at the pressure and stood on her back legs, whimpering but able to breathe, her putrid dog breath permeating the air.
“Good girl. You were choking but you altered your position.” The conductor gazed into the camera, letting his eyes linger. “What a concept.”
Still gripping the leash, he walked toward the fireplace and raised his arm to its limit. Ruby was suspended in the air for a moment before the conductor dropped her back to one foot.
He pulled the branding iron out of hissing coals and gazed at its glow. “Animal branding used to be so unassuming. No tattoos, earmarking, RFID tagging. Just stick it in the fire and press it to the flesh.” He turned back to the tripod. “But I wouldn’t last twenty minutes enforcing an iron’s will onto livestock. I’m tired just hoisting Ruby.” He leaned forward. “So the simple way to do this is the eyeballs.”
He let Janet digest his words as he knelt next to Ruby, gripping the iron in one hand while stroking her ears with the other. “You’re one of a kind, Ruby, that blend of serene trust and innocent joy. I wonder if Mama Janet will make sure you stay that way.”
The conductor looked at the camera, tilted his head, and flatly said, “Call 555-3203.”
Moments later, his burner phone rang and he answered. “Hello, Janet—”
Tear-filled obscenities shot from Janet’s mouth like a cannon, quickly chased by a detailed torture regimen she promised to inflict upon him should he so much as look at Ruby again.
A fireball, this one.
But then she melted into spasmodic weeping. They always did.
“As I was saying,” the conductor said, “it’s time for your next assignment.”
2
I closed my eyes and pictured the moment when SWAT training would be over and I’d be stepping out of my 4Runner at Steph’s house. Neither she nor the girls would come running. We’d only been dating five months, after all. But in this vision, they did come running, and I couldn’t suppress how that image made me feel.
A hand cupped the back of my head. “That’s the spirit, Haasy—grin like a fool. You got this,” said Cody Caulkins, who was never short on confidence. “Just know that if you fail, I get Stephanie.”
“She’d crush you.”
Cody dropped his head. “I know.”
The whistle blew.
Weighted with a twenty-five-pound vest, I started pumping out chin-ups, muscles tensing, eyes fixed on the evergreens surrounding the SWAT training field. Three were required. I racked up twenty-three then sprinted to the sandbag thrust.
I pictured the first day Steph had invited me to meet Isabella and Tilly over spaghetti and plastic teacups. It had only been a few months ago, but something special had happened that day. “Don’t leave,” Isabella, the older of the girls, had said after I’d risen to leave. “You must eat dessert.” Her smile had nestled in my heart. Steph and her girls were as close to angels as I’d ever met. I couldn’t think of anything better than to be a permanent part of their lives.
“Sixty-five,” I said, throwing the bag and hustling toward the gauntlet.
“Two minutes, twelve seconds,” SWAT team leader Jeff Karns said as I sprinted across the finish line.
I crouched and concentrated on my breathing, heart slamming against my chest. Salt stung my eyes, but I could still see well enough to notice Mitchell, Dominguez, Adams, and Mathis avoiding eye contact. Competence earned respect. It was as simple and as hard as that. If you could listen to direction, hear some criticism, and make changes to do better the next time, respect slowly built. But outside of Cody, I had a long way to go with my peers.
Cody walked over to me, looking like he was already doing the math in his head. “You just netted 118 and took top spot away from you-know-who, Haasy.” He raised his hands and turned in a slow circle, making eye contact with the other SWAT members. “What’d I say? I said Haas was a Greek god. Did I not say he was a Greek god?”
I’d learned long ago that Cody was going to be Cody no matter what I said—no matter what anybody said—so I just rolled with it.
“How’d you do?” I said.
“If there’s a slower version of a Greek god, I’m him.”
Cody squinted and pursed his lips. “Breachers took first, assaulters second, and the gas guys got third. So . . . gas guys pay plates, we cover drinks and tip, and breachers eat themselves out of their top spot—for free.” He shook his head. “Next month, assaulters wine and dine like royalty. Book it.”
“This the most big-boy thing you two do?” said Mike Mitchell, a SWAT member from the Trenton Police Department. None of the city guys respected non-city SWAT, especially Mitchell. I didn’t blame them, not after the way I’d been recruited to SWAT.
Cody hit my shoulder, a winsome grin spreading across his face. “Hear that, Haas? Rhino Butt thinks you’re making him look like wrinkles and ear hair to our commanding officers.”
I loved Cody for wearing his heart on his sleeve, even liked his quick wit. But to me, words were like money: save them, invest them, spend them, in that order. Cody spent his words like a slot junkie in Vegas.
Mitchell stepped into Cody’s space. “You don’t get it. You put in all this energy out here, but the rest of us, the real men, put it into the work. You didn’t earn this. You’re tour guides.”
They stared at each other.
“Touch each other and you’re both suspended, you know that,” I said.
Mitchell suddenly lost interest in Cody, instead turning to me. “But not for you, right? How’s that flesh wound from your little operation, anyway? You should call CBS, CNN, and FOX—make sure they do a follow-up.”
I declined to respond.
Cody leaned close to Mitchell’s ear. “Where were you again while Haasy was heroing it up? Oh right, ogling those scared, underage dorm girls.”
Mitchell kept his eyes on me but spoke to Cody. “If your results were as big as your mouth, Caulkins, you might have actually done better for yourself than that sorry badge you tote around. Unlike Haas here, who needed to be in the right place and right time—as a university cop—to even be considered for SWAT.”
I bent down and tightened my laces. I had no idea silence could be so loud.
Cody shook his head. “Say that in a nice dark alley with Haas sometime, see how it goes. Big strong guy like you—I’m sure you’d do fine.”
“Hey!” Jeff Karns yelled. “Move it.”
The entire team jogged to the weight room, torpedoing the turf with spit.
Thirty minutes into lifting, perspiration forced us to ditch our drenched shirts. I’d need a nose plug to keep working out alongside Cody.
“Haas is getting yoked!” Karns yelled from across the room, gawking at me.
I let a smile nudge my lips. That may have been the first compliment I’d heard since the incident. Praise came sparsely to me, a university cop, and Cody, the county sheriff’s detective. We were SWAT outsiders, recruited only for our knowledge of Trenton University and the county’s back roads. Every other officer on SWAT worked at the Trenton Police Department, watching each other’s backs on a daily basis. But Cody and me? At best, we’d skipped in line; at worst, we didn’t belong.
“Tell me if this sounds misogynistic to you, because I don’t want it to,” I had said sincerely to Stephanie three months earlier. “I think I understand what women face breaking into traditionally male careers.”
Steph laughed so hard that she accidently woke Isabella and Tilly. “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” she’d said through a snort.
A buzzer sounded. Workouts were over and target practice commenced.
We peppered targets for forty-five minutes. Each punctured bull’s-eye reminded me that I fervidly wanted to stop evil at a job that may never face it.
I collected my riddled sheet and studied it, paper crinkling in my hands. Kill shot, kill shot, flesh wound, kill shot, flesh, kill shot. I had work to do.
“Not bad,” Mitchell hollered over to me. “Think those dorm girls who saved your sorry butt could do better?”
A few SWAT guys laughed. Cody shot Mitchell a glare.
“Wrap it up,” Karns said.
Cody and I and the rest of SWAT headed back to the station, took off our vests, then sat for a presentation focused on floor science, in which a professor taught how eyesight and flinch responses work, such as how fast a human can turn around and squeeze off three rounds as opposed to just firing from the hip.
Mitchell craned his neck toward Clint Hopkins, another SWAT member from the Trenton Police Department. “Makes you wonder how many rounds you can get off while high.”
This time I tensed up. Mitchell had been in rare form all day.
I turned to look him in the eyes, wanting so badly to drop him and make him feel what I was capable of, but my anger quickly transformed to alarm. A fist was blurring past my eyes and connected directly with Mitchell’s forehead, producing a hearty smack.
I caught Cody on his follow-through and immediately shoved him against the wall.
Adams, Dominguez, and Mathis shouted and closed in around us, ready to break things up.
Hopkins and a few other SWAT members picked up Mitchell, who got to his feet and rubbed his mouth. “Feel good, Caulkins?” Mitchell spit some blood. “Enjoy vacation.”
Karns burst into the commotion like a wrecking ball of profanity and popping veins. He told Mitchell and Cody to get lost and demanded everyone present to email him reports.
Training was officially over.
I followed Cody as he headed for his vehicle. He’d get suspended for that punch. “Hey, Muhammad Ali,” I said.
He turned around. “Was that like a butterfly or a bee?”
“Feel good?”
“Better than you can imagine.”
I asked a question I knew the answer to. “Why?”
Cody flicked his hand a couple of times, releasing some of the throbbing he had to be feeling. “You’d already done it in your head, so I figured I’d provide the visual. More exciting, you know?”
“I had it under control. You didn’t have to—”
“Yeah, I did.” His voice had lost that normal Cody charm. “When your friend gets knocked down, you help him up—or punch the guy who started it.”
“Not if it means a suspension.”
“I’m tired of seeing Mitchell and the rest of these clowns push you around. You’re better than all of them, and you know it. We’re in the business of justice, Haas. You’re not practicing it.”
There was much I wanted to say but knew I couldn’t go that route, so I practiced silence and let his words sink in.
I nodded. “Thanks. Really.”
Cody switched the conversation’s direction. “How’s university treating you?”
“Let’s just say I liked today,” I said. “Definitely beats the monotony of patrol.”
“You mean, ‘Beats slapping students with urinating-in-public citations’?”
“Pretty much.”
“What does Steph think of SWAT?”
“She likes that I’m better trained, and she’s excited for what it might lead to.”
“Lead to? You applying?”
I could only wish that were true. But it would be a move I’d ultimately regret. Climbing the ladder always led to the rest of your life—friends, family, home—spiraling into chaos. Easy as a bachelor; torture as a man in love.
Sure, it was nice entertaining Stephanie’s encouragement about career advancement. But that’s all it was—entertaining. I even had to be careful with that because the temptation was so great.
We stopped at our vehicles: me by my university police–issued 4Runner, and Cody by his Camaro. A few of our colleagues’ cars whooshed out of the parking lot.
I leaned against my door. “Next thing circled on my calendar is grilling for students off my tailgate. I like that.” I nodded at the training facility and chose my words carefully. “But this training isn’t helping me at the university.”
Cody popped his trunk and grabbed two water bottles from the back. He handed one to me. “I get it.” His breath poofed in front of him a litt
le in the cold evening. “You want some whack job to go on a gun rage, huh?” He winked.
“I don’t envy danger. But people are doing jacked-up stuff every day, and I can’t do a thing about it.” It felt good to vent to Cody, even if he had no clue what I was really saying—what had actually happened with my career. “I feel like I’m trained to slay Goliaths at a job where bad guys are three feet tall.”
Cody spit some of his water. “Well, next time I’m wrestling a heroin addict with needles sticking out of his arms, I’ll give you a shout, David.”
I smiled, we tapped fists, then drove our separate ways.
I just wasn’t as needed at Trenton University as I would be elsewhere. But I couldn’t take a job away from Steph and the girls, not without them coming with me—and I couldn’t be sure she was ready for that, for marriage.
The M-word wasn’t optional with Steph but essential. She wasn’t afraid of commitment and didn’t need to keep her options open. I liked that about her.
But marriage would be complicated for Steph because the first man she’d made vows to, Declan, turned out to be nothing short of a high-functioning sociopath. After marrying right out of high school, getting Steph pregnant, and creating a rich lifestyle for her and the girls, he’d cheated on her. Not with one woman but with a different woman every week—a tapestry of lies and manipulation so ugly that the portrait would hang itself.
Declan had tried to take everything in the divorce, but thankfully the judge saw through his smoke. So the house—and much more importantly, the girls—went to Stephanie. He’d tried inching his way back into their lives after that, creating a new life only a few hours away in Seattle and stopping by to surprise the kids on holidays, but I’d helped Steph put an end to those visits and get the court orders needed that would keep Declan where he belonged: out of their lives for as many days of the year as possible.
Steph had risen to the challenge of single parenting, found Jesus at a warehouse church where the pastors wore jeans, and somehow kept up her jovial personality through the pain.
I dialed her number.
“Hey, Robo,” she answered. “How’d Call of Duty go?”
I smiled. “The controller ran out of battery, so I’m calling you.”
The String Page 1