But Poppy stops as soon as Benton comes in and gives the sleeping newborn to his wife. Looking at the baby a second, Poppy then gets up and begins to leave the room.
“Poppy, come see the baby,” Tate tries with her.
“I don’t like her,” Poppy says simply. And just like that, a six-year-old leaves us all speechless.
“I like her!” Harry exclaims, crawling up with his mom and Ruby.
I see Tatum trying to fight back tears as she smiles down at her son. “I’m so glad. Ruby was so excited to meet you, she fell asleep,” Tatum tells him.
“Silly baby,” Harry says with a laugh.
Tatum’s eyes meet Benton’s, a conversation between them without words. “I’ll go talk with her,” he says, heading toward Poppy’s room. “Thank you, Travis, for helping with the kids.”
“They don’t call me Papa for nothing! I gave them all the sugar they asked for.”
“And we made a fort!” Harry adds.
“Did you? That sounds quite fun,” Benton tells Harry, giving me one last smile of gratitude before finding his oldest daughter.
I give Tatum a kiss on the head and tell Penny we should go, knowing they need time as a family to adjust to their newest member. It makes me a little more grateful that Josie and I only had Penny.
* * *
“Come off, you piece of shit!” I hear Jesse yell from under a car at Pretty Girl. Then I hear a laugh that I know all too well because it belongs to my daughter.
“Bet I can get it off,” Penny taunts, pulling his legs to make him roll out from under the car. “Get up, let a girl show you how it’s done. And you owe a dollar.”
He scoffs at her but gets up. I don’t miss the smile that twitches at the corners of his mouth when she rolls under the car. “Please, Penelope, show me your ways,” he teases her, using her full name. I know he’ll pay for that one, but it’s too good to interrupt them when they go at it like this. I chuckle to myself, shaking my head at them and sticking to the purchase order I’m going over instead.
A minute later, I hear her triumphant cheers. “In your face, Jesse!”
“No way. I loosened it for you, Nugget, and you know it,” he tells her, not wanting to accept defeat like every other warm-blooded male.
“Psh! Whatever helps you sleep at night,” she tells him, patting his cheek, leaving grease on his face while she drops the bolt into his hand.
“You are asking for it,” Jesse tells her, and I know what’s coming next.
“Jesse!” I bark out to him, making him pause, but his eyes are still on my girl. “We work here. You can play at home.”
“Yes, sir,” he tells me with a salute and cocky smirk. “Yeah, Nugget, we work here,” I hear him mock to Penny before her giggles ring through the air.
These two will be the death of me, I swear. I let out a groan, stretching my arms up over my head and seeing it’s almost quitting time anyway.
“Come on, you two troublemakers, let’s go home,” I call out to them. They answer with hoots and hollers like I’ve kept them captive for the past three days, when in reality they come after school for a couple of hours to help.
Penny hip-checks him as they walk out of the main garage bay heading to Jesse’s truck. He hops in and locks her out. I watch as she stomps her foot and yells at him. I imagine he’s cracking up as her anger rises. When he starts to slowly let the truck roll forward, she yells louder, banging on the window. He does the typical stop and go each time she tries to get in until she finally gives up and jumps into the bed of the truck.
“Penny, get down from there! You know I don’t like you riding back there!” I yell at her when they start to leave for home.
“It’s fine, Daddy. Jesse only goes ten over the speed limit,” she yells before blowing me a kiss as they turn the corner.
Yep. Killing me slowly.
* * *
Penny begged me for a bonfire tonight. The weather is starting to get colder, but today was warmer than it’s been in a while. We invited Jesse and Tilly to come out and join us, and I was happy when they did.
Now, those two crazy young teens are running around the yards competing to see who can capture more lightning bugs. Although, with the cooler weather I’ve only spotted one or two, but that doesn’t stop them.
“They are perfect together. Don’t you think?” Tilly asks, and I look at her, confused by what she means.
“I guess.” I shrug. “They’ve basically grown up together, acting more like brother and sister than neighbors.”
“Travis,” she says my name like I’m missing something. “Look at them. Really look at them. They don’t act like siblings—well, not most of the time anyway. No, they’re soulmates. Can’t you see it?” she asks, and I can almost hear reverence in her voice with how she says it.
“She’s not even thirteen yet.”
“Didn’t you say you knew you loved your wife when you were sixteen?”
I look at her, surprised she remembered that from the night I went off on her. Not one of my finest moments. “Yeah,” I sigh after a beat.
“I don’t think they fully know it yet or even understand it. But you can almost feel it between them when you’re with them,” she says, smiling. “It makes me feel like I finally did something right by my family with him.”
I look at her even more confused. The more she says, the more I think I need a map to understand her thoughts tonight. She must notice it by the look on my face this time.
“I messed up with my family a long time ago,” she says on her own sigh. “I’m surprised I was the one awarded custody of Jesse, even if I was the only family he had left. I wanted so much to do right by him, right my wrongs. Seeing how he turned his anger around, how he is with Penny, it feels right.”
“We all make mistakes. They don’t define us forever, Tilly.”
She drops her chin, and a small grin of disbelief flashes on her serene face. “Thanks. But I did a horrible thing. A couple of horrible things.”
“What? Did you kill someone or something?” I ask with a laugh, but her face shoots up, and the look of fear in her eyes makes me feel like shit. It couldn’t have been as bad as what I said though, right? I mean, she’s here and not in prison, after all. “Tilly?” I ask all the questions I have by only saying her name.
“You’re going to look at me differently if I tell you.” Her head falls back. “Everyone does,” she adds on a whisper.
“I’m no saint, Cookie. I’m not going to force you to tell me anything you aren’t ready to share. But I’d like to think I know you well enough to know that you are one of the most caring people I’ve ever met.”
She closes her eyes, and I see a tear fall from the corner and trail down her face, dropping to her shoulder. My eyes are fixated on that single tear as she starts talking, opening up to me for the first time.
“I was sixteen when I fell in love for the first time too,” she says with a smile playing on her lips. “But my story isn’t nearly as beautiful as yours.” She turns her head to look at me. “Please look at me the same way you are now after I tell you,” she pleads quietly before turning her head back and closing her eyes again.
We sit in silence for a while, and I’m starting to think she changed her mind about telling me anything more, but then she tells me her story.
“I was sixteen when I met Joe. He flirted with me at the ice cream shop where I worked during the summer. I knew he was older than me, so I lied and told him I was eighteen so he’d ask me out. After weeks of him coming in daily for a scoop of butter pecan with hot fudge, he finally did. I was so excited, I could hardly wait for the clock to hit nine so I could close up the shop and meet him for our first date.
“He was a true gentleman the entire night, holding doors open for me, asking before taking my hand, and I fell for him harder and harder. We dated the rest of the summer. I found out he was twenty-two and in college, and as much as I was in love with him, I couldn’t tell him the truth about my age.
I knew he was leaving at the end of the summer, and I promised myself it would just be a memorable summer with the sweetest man I’d ever met.
“He never pushed me to have sex the entire time we dated, but once reality caught up and we realized we only had a week left together, we made the most of it. He was my first.” she pauses, and I see a blush creep across her skin before she continues. “We said our goodbyes after the most amazing summer together. We both said I love you but knew we couldn’t stay together. He thought I was starting my freshman year at a different college than where he was beginning his senior year.
“I was devastated when he left, but I knew it was for the best. He would stay my favorite secret. But then I found out I was pregnant. My parents were furious with me. They had no idea I had been dating anyone, so to them, I was just sleeping around and had gotten myself in trouble. They wanted me to have the baby and put it up for adoption, but I wanted to keep it, even if I had to raise it by myself, which caused a lot of tension.
“Thanksgiving break came around, and my older sister, Jill, was bringing her new boyfriend home from college with her. She was completely smitten with him. Well, her new boyfriend turned out to be Joe. Neither of us said anything. Then, he came back for Christmas, and then spring break.
“By that point, you can imagine I was showing with a perfect baby bump. Joe took one look at me and knew. We were a secretive family, so my sister hadn’t told him I was pregnant until then, when I was showing and couldn’t hide it anymore.
“Late one night, Joe came into my room and asked me if it was his. He was mad and we started fighting. My sister, who had been my best friend once upon a time, was now in hysterics and hated me when she found out that I was carrying her boyfriend’s baby. My parents were even more furious with me, and instead of asking me, they assumed I was trying to seduce him into my bed that night. They told me once the baby was born, I was on my own and no longer welcome in their home.
“I was losing everything and everyone I loved. I was stressed to the max and freaking out trying to figure what I was going to do once the baby arrived. I was so sick on top of everything else. As much as I wanted the baby, I didn’t. I knew things would be horrible with my family no matter what, but without a baby to care for, I could make things work for myself. I wished the baby away more times than I should admit.
“Then came time to deliver. I went into labor about two weeks before my due date. My parents wouldn’t even stay with me while I was there. I was so alone and scared. And then my greatest fear and worse thought came to life. I delivered a stillborn baby boy. She curls into a ball of sobs as she relives the pain of her past. “I killed my baby,” she cries. “Every negative thought I had became a reality, and he was gone.”
I jump up and pull her into my arms, wanting to absorb all the pain she felt that day and every day since.
“I lost everything because I was an impulsive teenager who wished for the worse to happen to help with her problems. Once I was discharged from the hospital, I went home, but the last years of high school were cold and lonely. My parents couldn’t look at me, and my sister hated me. She married Joe two years later, and I wasn’t invited to their wedding. I didn’t even know she had Jesse until he was almost two years old.
“I graduated from high school and left. I didn’t talk to any of them. They didn’t want me around, and I couldn’t look at them and see the look of disgust in their faces anymore.”
She goes quiet then as her cries slow, still in my arms. It feels good to hold someone again. To have them need the support of your arms and strength to hold them up.
“Please tell me that when I open my eyes, I won’t see the look on your face that I saw on theirs,” she says quietly, pleading with me before her eyes open and lock with mine.
Another single tear falls from the corner of her eye. Before it falls down her face, I kiss it away. Licking my lips, I taste the saltiness from her tear on my lips, and I know then that I want to kiss all her tears away.
“I don’t know what look you think you’ll see but I know that I like you too,” I admit, my lips a whisper away from her soft skin. “Thank you for sharing with me your past that you carry with you. I’m honored that you felt like you could trust me with something like that.” I pause a second before adding, “But you scare me.”
She pulls back to look at me, her eyes wide. I smile, running my knuckles down the side of her face. “That,” I start, meaning what she told me about her past, “isn’t what scares me. I can feel myself wanting you, and that scares the shit out of me. I have a war going on inside of me, and I don’t know what side will win.”
“Wars can be fought for years, and sometimes there isn’t a clear winner after the battle. Instead, the two find a compromise, a way to live together. You don’t have to pick a side. You just have to decide if you’re willing to let the two sides find a way to live in harmony together.”
“It might still take me years,” I tell her honestly.
“It’s OK. I’ll fight an honorable fight for your heart.”
Leaning my head against hers, I let that sink in. “Good.”
With the open promise of more between us, with all our cards out, we call it a night. I walk her to her door and say goodnight to the woman who makes me question everything.
Opening my box, I search for the letter I need, What Am I Doing?
Ice cream. That’s what you need right now. There’s nothing that can fix the world’s problems better than ice cream. The more chocolate and stuff in it, the better, too.
You don’t need me to say anything more to attempt to fix whatever is bothering you. You already know what you want. You always do. Don’t second-guess yourself. Eat some ice cream and go after whatever it is you want.
Always,
Josie
TILLY
Minutes After Telling My Truth
He didn’t look at me like they did.
He didn’t look at me like he had before.
He looked at me as if something had been lifted between us.
He said he liked me too.
I got tingles in the pit of my stomach.
I haven’t felt that since I was sixteen.
Could I get another chance at love?
Could he possibly want me after everything I told him?
I want to fight for his heart.
I just need him to want to share it with me.
Chapter Twelve
Travis
Eleven Years After Josie
“I can’t believe it broke on me today. Of all days!” Tilly yells, frustrated at her commercial oven at Sugar Stacked. It’s two days before Christmas, one of her busiest days of the year. She has orders to fill before she closes for the holiday, and her main oven broke. She called me to see if I could fix it before she paid premium prices to have a repairman come out.
“Cookie, stop freaking out. While I work on this, take what you need and go use my oven at the house, and yours, and do what you can in the meantime. I’ll call you when it’s fixed. I think I can get it up and working in a few hours.” That’s a complete lie. I actually have no idea if I can fix this mother of all ovens, but I’m going to try. I hate seeing her stress like this.
She lets out a puff of air before turning to gather the ingredients she needs to go home and do what she does best. Bake.
“You sure?” she questions before leaving with a tub full of what she needs for the time being. I toss her a wink and smile, seeing her relax a bit and pushing through the door.
Digging in a little deeper, I think I know what the problem is. I head to the hardware store to get the necessary parts and get back to work as fast as I can. A few hours later, I do, in fact, have the oven up and working again. I hold back from beating my chest like a caveman, proud of my accomplishment.
I try calling Tilly, but she doesn’t answer. I clean up my mess and head to the house. I walk in on her, hips swaying to music blaring from both of our houses, as she runs back and forth. Lea
ning against the wall, I watch her with an amused smile, so comfortable in her element, her happy place, total contentment.
For a split second, my mind goes back to years ago, walking in on Josie dancing in her kitchen. The day that changed everything between us. Closing my eyes in an effort to push my memories aside, I open them realizing it’s the first time I choose to live in the now instead of the past.
Licking my lips, I walk up behind Tilly, my hands resting on her swaying hips. She freezes from my touch, but I lean in and whisper in her ear, “Don’t let me stop your rhythm, Cookie. Is that your special ingredient?”
She doesn’t say anything but begins to sway side to side again with the music that’s playing. It doesn’t take long for us to begin dancing together, lost in the music and each other in this one moment. When she moves, I move. Her hands knead the dough in front of her, and my hands join hers. It’s right out of that movie that Josie made me watch, except instead of pottery, we’re making bread.
“Ooohh… myyy love…” I start to sing, terribly, in her ear and she busts out laughing, turning around to face me. She stares at me, smiling, and I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know what I want to do next.
“Your oven is fixed,” I tell her.
“Thanks,” she says, her breath fanning across my skin.
“Tilly?”
“Yes, Travis?”
I take in a ragged breath and then chicken out because I’m a fucking pussy.
“You have flour…” I start reaching up to swipe the flour from her cheek.
Her eyes are searching mine, and I wish so bad I could give in to what my body is telling me it wants, but I can’t get my head and heart on the same page.
Always Series Box Set Page 68