“Linda?”
“Yes. Within days he was dating another girl, who lasted about two months.”
“And this is an issue, why?”
Lucy shrugged. “I care about him. In fact, my feelings concerning him scare me.”
“You just care? That’s all?”
“We’re friends. Scratch that. We’re more, but I can’t go through another bad relationship. I thought I knew Jesse so well, and I didn’t. Before we started seeing each other, Jesse had been a womanizer who convinced me he wasn’t that person anymore.”
“Like Ben?”
Lucy nodded. “How can I ever really trust him?”
“Good question, and I don’t have an answer.”
“How did you with Grady? Your ex was a cad.”
“I prayed and turned it over to the Lord because I think it’s impossible to know everything about a person. You have to decide what you want in life and how much you’ll risk to have it.”
Male voices coming from the kitchen drew Lucy’s gaze to the window. “Grady and Ben are back.”
“If you need to talk, I’m always here,” Chloe said hurriedly as the back door opened and the men joined them. She glanced up at Grady and held her hand out. “You’re just in time to help me up from this chair. I’m ready for bed. Mamie has the right idea.”
Grady tugged Chloe to her feet. “Sounds good to me. Good night, Lucy, Ben.”
Ben slipped in the chair beside Lucy. “Now I’m positive everything has been taken care of. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, one I need.”
“I’m with you on that. This week has been long and difficult. But other than those two girls saying something to Maddy, I didn’t hear anyone talking about Gareth and Winston. Did you?”
“No, but then children were around and some people might get riled and cause a scene. So glad they didn’t.” Ben leaned his head against the back cushion and stared at the ceiling.
“I have only one more thing to do involving this case. Find Betsy. You said something about the Dallas/ Fort Worth area.”
“Yeah, the private detective I hired is running down some leads. He established she was there last fall, but she isn’t in the apartment he had an address for.”
“Next week I can try again to see what I can discover. I was spread so thin that I really didn’t have the time to put much effort into the search. I’ll feel better at least contacting her and making sure she’s all right.” She needed to go, but once she sat down she didn’t want to get up; it was as though weariness glued her to the seat.
“I’ll be talking with the private investigator in the next day or two, and when he’s got a solid lead, I’m going to the Dallas/Fort Worth area and assist in the search. I won’t feel right until this is resolved. We didn’t do right by her. I’m hoping Betsy will come back to Little Horn.”
“With Byron here? I’m not sure she will.”
“Maybe Byron will learn from this and change. Maddy is going over there for dinner tomorrow after the Easter service. I never thought that would happen.”
“Do you think he can change?”
“I don’t know. Time will tell, but I think he got scared when Gareth took the sleeping pills. Maybe it’ll be enough for Byron to see his high-handedness was driving his sons away from him.”
“Yeah, but you know the old saying you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it.”
“With anything, the motivation has to be there for it to truly work. We still need to go out and celebrate the case being solved. How about Monday night before your parents come into town?”
“A date?” She needed him to clarify what he thought this relationship between them was. Friends? More?
“It’s time for us to admit what’s going on between us isn’t just being friends. At least for me.” He scooted his chair around so he could see her and clasped her hands. “I love you, Lucy. When you were trying to fix me up with other ladies in town, no one interested me but you. You are who I need.”
He loves me. Is it really love? Panic raced through her, and she tugged her hands free and rose, sidling away. “Do you know what love is? You spent most of your life avoiding it. Now you want a mother for Cody and you see how much I care about your son, but marriage is so much more than that.”
He pushed to his feet. “I know marriage is.”
“I worked hard to become sheriff, and I don’t want to give it up.” Lucy backed away. “I like helping the people of this county.”
“I know how hard you work, and I haven’t asked you to quit your job. I’m not even talking about marriage. I’m talking about loving you.”
“I’ve always been here. Why now all of a sudden?” She wouldn’t risk her heart again. Jesse had been a reformed playboy who talked a good game, then cheated on her. “This has come out of the blue.” She spun around and started for the back door to grab her purse and leave before she gave in and believed he could change that much.
He followed.
She held up her hand. “I can let myself out. In fact, I prefer to.”
After yanking the door open, she fled inside, relieved that he didn’t come in with her. As she headed toward her Mustang, she realized she’d thrown every excuse at him but the one that frightened her enough to walk away from a man she was falling in love with when she knew she shouldn’t. She wanted a total commitment from the man, and she didn’t think Ben could change that much.
Chapter Thirteen
Ben sat at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee. He hadn’t slept more than an hour last night after talking with Lucy. Maybe he deserved her rejection. How many times had he walked away when a woman started getting serious?
He lifted his mug in a toast. “Touché.”
“Who are you talking to?” Grandma Mamie asked as she came into the kitchen and looked around. Her forehead’s wrinkles deepened. “No one?” She picked up the coffeepot. “It’s empty. How long have you been up?”
“A few hours. I finally got tired of staring at the ceiling in my bedroom and came down here.”
Mamie shot him a quizzical look, then went to work preparing another pot full of coffee. While it was brewing, she moved to the table and sat across from Ben. “So what had you up all night? Lucy?”
“How did you know?”
“It’s your hangdog look. What happened after I went to bed?”
“I told her I loved her, and she got out of here so fast you would think a wildfire was after her.”
In spite of the seriousness, Mamie grinned. “That doesn’t sound like our sheriff. I know she has feelings for you. Anyone who sees you two together sees it.”
“Well, tell her that. She didn’t get the memo.”
“Tell me what you said and her reply.”
As though he had the scene from the night before memorized, he repeated all the reasons she gave him that it wouldn’t work between them.
Mamie held up her forefinger. “Number one, you did spend your youth running from any kind of commitment.”
“Okay, I admit I did. I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband, not while I held such anger toward Dad in my heart. But that doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind.”
“Okay, let’s say you’ve changed. How can she be sure?”
“Because I’ve never given my word and not meant it. When I dated those women, they knew up front I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship.”
“Two, what about her job? How do you feel about a wife working?”
“That’s why I’m looking for a nanny. I recognize we need help here with Cody, and Chloe’s baby due in a couple of months. And I have already set up something for the summer.”
“But Maddy will go back to school in the fall. I wish I could do it all,” Mamie said with a sigh, “but I know my limits
. I’m seventy-eight and don’t have the energy I used to when you boys were growing up.”
“I know. Lucy is good at her job. If she wants to work, I don’t want to stand in her way. All that would cause would be resentment.”
“Like your mother toward my son.”
“Let’s face it, that was why she left. She wanted more than being a mother and wife.”
“Did you bother talking it out with Lucy? There are solutions. I helped raised y’all, and we could hire a good nanny for Cody and Chloe’s child. It’s not as if we wouldn’t be around to make sure the nanny does a good job. What’s nice about your job is you can be flexible. Lucy as sheriff wouldn’t be able to as much as you. Her hours can be unconventional. That might be what concerns her. I think there’s more to it, though, than her job.”
“What?”
“Could it have to do with why she came back to town three years ago? I know from her mother she’d been dating someone seriously, then suddenly it was over and Lucy left the San Antonio Police Department.”
“She told me about the guy she dated for a year. At the time they were talking marriage, he was seeing two other women.”
Grandma Mamie pressed her lips together into a hard, thin line. “That can definitely make a person gun-shy. Did she tell you she didn’t love you? Was that one of the reasons?”
Ben thought back to the conversation, remembering an almost scared expression on Lucy’s face, and shook his head. “You’re right. That might be it. Maybe it wouldn’t work in the long run if she sees that other guy every time she sees me. Look at how long I’ve been dealing with my relationship with Dad. He influenced me a lot in my youth.”
“He was an unhappy man that took his anger out on the ones he loved. It’s not right, but unlike the McKay twins, who let their feelings toward their father cause them to make some bad decisions, we have to make the best of what’s given to us. Talk to Lucy. What do you have to lose? You have a lot to gain if you love her.”
“Thanks for helping me. You are a wise woman.” Ben walked to the counter, refilled his mug and poured coffee for his grandmother, then returned to the table and gave it to her. “I’m going riding. I have some decisions to make and this is a good time to work some things out. It’s quiet and nothing beats a sunrise around here.”
Ben kissed Mamie’s cheek, then left out the back door, nursing his coffee as he ambled toward the barn. He spied Thunder in a paddock close by, his black coat shining in the sun as the rays spread outward from the horizon. Pausing, he rotated slowly, taking in his ranch. What if he was wrong and he hadn’t changed enough for Lucy? He only wanted to be married once.
* * *
Lucy hung up the phone after talking with the DA about the Robin Hoods case, pleased everyone was on board with the boys being tried in juvenile court. She liked Judge Nelson. He could be reasonable and creative. Gareth and Winston would pay for their crimes but at the same time get help. And she might not have considered the teenage boys’ side of what had happened if it hadn’t been for Ben.
When he’d said he loved her on Saturday night, she’d been stunned because she remembered once right after graduation Ben declaring he would never marry. It was too restrictive. He’d been adamant, citing what had happened to his parents’ marriage. His mother had come back for graduation, then left immediately, and Lucy wondered if that was the reason for his statement.
That was ten years ago.
She’d changed in that time. Had Ben changed enough?
A movement in the main part of the sheriff’s station drew her attention. Her dad was here and talking to the dispatcher. One of her deputies came in and joined their conversation.
Her parents had arrived the night before. And she needed their distraction, or all she would think about was Ben. The days since she had seen him at church on Easter had been the longest ones. She’d even caught herself earlier before her parents showed up wanting to call Ben or go out to see him at the Stillwater Ranch, but when she finally had called and Chloe answered, she’d discovered Ben had left that morning and would be gone all day. Chloe hadn’t been sure when he would be coming back.
Was he leaving for good? She didn’t think so because Little Horn had always been his home, but she couldn’t shake the doubt completely away.
Her dad stuck his head through the opened doorway. “Ready to go to lunch at Maggie’s? I sure miss her good food.”
“Is Mom coming?”
“Nope, she’s visiting with some friends, then stopping by Olivia Barlow’s ranch. She was so happy to see Olivia has a man in her life now. You know how your mother frets over others in need, and Olivia certainly had been in need with her triplet boys.”
“Clint Daniels will make a wonderful father for those boys.” Lucy rose and headed out of the sheriff’s station with her father. “I forgot to eat breakfast again, so I’m hungry.”
“Good. Alice noticed that this morning and made me promise to make sure you ate a big lunch. I told her not to worry. You’re doing just fine but that won’t stop her. According to her, she won’t stop worrying about you until she’s dead.”
“A mother’s job is never done.”
“And neither is a father’s.” Her dad pulled open the door to Maggie’s and gestured for Lucy to go first.
After Abigail showed them to a table and took their orders, Lucy decided to approach the subject of the Robin Hoods case with her dad before he brought it up. “As I’m sure you know, the cattle rustlers were finally caught last week.”
“Yes, a good job at tracking down the evidences.”
“But it took me months to solve the case.”
“That happens sometimes. Cattle rustlers can be hard to catch. Often they work in an area, then move on before they are caught. In the twins’ case their robberies had to do with settling a score in their minds, not making money.”
“I heard this morning Byron has started paying back the ranchers who the boys stole from. Carson came by the station this morning and told me after Byron paid him a visit with Gareth and Winston.”
“The twins won’t have to be responsible for paying it back?”
“What was so surprising about the visit is Carson said that Byron will require his sons to pay him back every cent, but he wanted the ranchers paid immediately.”
Her dad grinned. “Well, I’ll be. Never thought I would see something like that. He usually won’t admit he’s wrong.”
“I don’t know if he’s done that, but when Gareth took the sleeping pills, I think Byron realized going around town insisting his sons were innocent wasn’t going to work because they were insisting the opposite.”
Abigail put their lunches before them, topped off their coffee, then left as more customers kept coming into the café.
After he said a blessing, her dad sipped his drink. “Some things don’t change. Maggie makes the best cup of coffee in this part of Texas.”
“So who have you seen already this morning?” Lucy asked, then took a bite of her hamburger.
“I went over to pay Iva a visit. I hated to hear her health was failing, but she seemed to be in great spirits.”
“Ruby’s grandmother is like Ben’s. Wise with a lot of gumption.”
Her father chuckled. “So true. And I’m glad we’re going to the Stillwater Ranch tomorrow night for dinner because I want to make sure I see Mamie, too, while I’m here.”
“I might not go.”
He put his fork down and peered at Lucy. “Why not? She called your mom this morning and said the invitation was for all of us.”
“I know. I forgot to tell you all last night.”
“That’s not like you. I was good friends with her son and she is one I always see when I visit.”
Lucy stared at her half-eaten hamburger, no longer hungry. Her stomach clenched like a fis
t at the thought of going and Ben not being there.
“Are the rumors true about you and Ben seeing each other?”
Lucy yanked her head up. “Who told you that?” She hadn’t said anything to her parents about the time she and Ben had been together the past month because she didn’t know what to make of it. Her mother would have her married off to him before she got off the phone because she wanted grandchildren.
“Iva. Then when I asked Carson, he told me y’all had been working on the Robin Hoods case together as well as the annual Easter-egg hunt. He implied something was going on.”
One look at her father and Lucy did what she always had done growing up—confided in him. “Yes. It didn’t start out that way. We just began spending more and more time together. What do you think of Ben?”
“My opinion isn’t the important one.”
Lucy told her dad about Ben’s son and how he was trying to change. “He takes his father role very seriously, which has surprised me.”
“Why? He’s always cared about others, sometimes when other people didn’t.”
She thought of Ben with Gareth and even Winston, especially when some of the townsfolk had wanted to railroad the twins.
“I know Ben’s daddy wasn’t the best example, but there was a time when he wasn’t so angry at the world before his back injury and his wife leaving him. Some get stronger under ordeals, but Ben’s father wasn’t one of them. He even tested my friendship at times.”
“I’ve seen people say they are changing, but they never do. Do you think Ben could? He said when he came out of the coma he knew he couldn’t continue going through life like he was.”
“And you don’t believe him, or is it something else?”
“I don’t know. He told me the other night he loved me, but I’ve always thought Ben didn’t want to be in a long-term relationship. When growing up, he certainly avoided them. He might have the record for dating the most women in the county.”
“Nope. I did. Before I met your mom, I didn’t want to get married. I thought the worst thing that could happen to me was to be tied down. But that all changed when your mom came along.” He patted her hand between them. “So tell me the real reason you don’t want to fall in love.”
A Baby for the Rancher Page 17