‘We find our people. We must–.’
At the screaming sound streaking overhead, he fell silent, alert.
‘What the hell was that?’ I asked.
He peered towards where the noise tapered into a low drone. ‘We are not alone. L’Odo or Dei San followed us.’
‘For God’s sake, why? Was blowing us out of the sky no enough?’
‘They are not prepared to surrender their prize.’ He spared me a bleak look. ‘Come. We must search before dark.’
Making headway through the trees was far more difficult than I anticipated. The climb up the low mountain to our shelter felt easy in comparison.
Snatching clumps of the speckled leaves that repelled the bugs, I checked my wrist wasn’t swollen or covered in a rash. I rubbed the exposed skin of my throat, arms and face.
Beowyn paused every hundred steps or so to drag his claws across the dark blue bark. The three thick scratches seeped turquoise sap he let puddle in his palm then bade me lick off. The aromatic resin was nutty with an umami aftertaste. His rough insistence I consume as much possible convinced me he was concerned food would be scarce.
Grateful, knowing I was burning too much energy slogging through the muck, I lapped it up. It wasn’t until the forth time, my tongue stroking against his palm that I looked at him.
I froze, mouth gaping, eyes big.
Predatory need etched the dips and hollows of his rugged face. His eyes blazed, the creases radiating out from the outermost corners deepening, and his sharp teeth bared in a grimace.
I snapped straight and swiped a hand over my mouth. ‘Thanks.’ I sidled past keeping a leery eye on him.
Scrambling up a mossy, rotted log, I tried to hide the tremors of my limbs with purposeful movement. Beowyn had never made an attempt to disguise his want of me, but the lust I’d seen in his eyes was frightening. I wasn’t prepared or mentally ready to deal with it.
He caught my arm. ‘We have travelled this direction far enough. We should turn back. Rest at camp.’
‘It’s no enough.’ I wanted to cover as much ground as possible before sunset.
The visceral ache of my missing child and a ferocious desire for my alien tangled into a pulsing ball of need and confusion that left me hollow inside.
‘We will begin again when I am sure you are ready. This is dangerous enough, moving about as we are with no weapons. Our attackers will be on the hunt for us by sunrise. If we exhaust ourselves we will be taken or make a mistake or overlook a crucial detail.’
Nodding, but not willing to move, to give up, I avoided his pleading gaze.
The grip on my arm gentled. ‘Sìne?’ His voice was a quiet command, more powerful for its ephemeral stroke.
Chapter 8
I fought the instinct to obey and surrender. I pulled away to tuck my hair behind my ears, eyes on my feet.
‘I get it,’ I whispered. ‘Let’s go back.’
A sigh blew over the nape of my neck. He shadowed my clumsy steps. He pushed aside low lying branches to make the way easier for me to navigate.
He had to know I wanted him too.
God, how I wanted him, but I promised myself I’d do this smart and learn who he was beneath the carefree persona before we dived into the physical side of our relationship.
Did he know that though?
I stopped. ‘I told you I can no give you my heart.’ The subtler warning being there’d be no sex until then.
I felt his presence close at my back. ‘I remember this.’
‘I did no mean forever.’ I turned so he could see my face. I glimpsed hurt before he shielded his emotions behind a mask of indifference. ‘Okay?’
Broad shoulders were held high and stiff. ‘Very well.’
‘Is it?’ How it could be when it was obvious his people showed affection through, well, fucking. My foot slipped in the mud, and his hands shot out to steady me. His touch lingered. The strong palms gripping my waist made the skin there tingle. Taking his hold as permission to lean closer, I braced my hand against the spongey bark of a tree to keep a stationary footing. ‘It must be annoying to be patient when you’re used to a different reaction.’ I placed my free hand to his chest. ‘I want to discover more about you and build the trust between us before I give in to temptation.’ I sighed at his guarded expression. ‘I do want you, Beowyn.’
‘You have me.’ He wiped sweat from his brow. ‘It is I who do not have you.’
‘I think it’s better if we put getting to know each other on pause until after we find my family.’ I carried on walking. ’I need to focus on that right now.’
There were other things I needed to find the right words to express as well.
I craved acknowledgement that I was a strong, independent person worthy of his respect. It stung he might perceive me as some downtrodden unfortunate he’d rescued. I first needed to figure out if it was my own insecurities making me feel that way or the hero-complex I suspected he had.
‘Worrying will not find them faster.’ Beowyn stopped beside me after we reached our camp. The fragrant heat of his body blocked the fetid stench of humid jungle. ‘Neither will rushing.’
He misinterpreted my preoccupation, but I didn’t correct him. ‘You don’t understand. How could you?’ He hadn’t spent the last three years dedicating himself to the well-being of a vulnerable child. Nurturing a piece of himself that walked and talked and depended on him to be there.
Pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, I dropped my chin onto my forearms.
He gathered the curls tumbling down my back into his fist. ‘Bathe with me.’ The locks fell through his fingers.
‘You go ahead.’ My gaze scanned the foreign horizon. I breathed strange air and longed for the cold crisp of home. ‘I’m fine as I am.’
He grumbled under his breath.
Leather and fabric rubbed against flesh. A bundle of clothes landed in a pile next to me. Water splashed. He groaned as he entered the pool.
Stewing in my own juices with mud caked thighs, leaves and dead bugs in my hair, a cold, cleansing bath sounded divine, but I was sensible enough to know joining him would propel us to a place I argued I wasn’t ready for.
Besides, I didn’t look good naked. What if he saw me nude and recoiled?
What did he look like naked?
I peeked over my shoulder.
As a healthy woman who hadn’t been sensually touched in years watching Beowyn at his bath was cruel torture.
My eyes touched where my hands could not, sweeping over heavy muscles coating his shoulder blades and upper back. The thick line of his spine seemed vulnerable, exposed as he bent forward to scrub his dark hair between his palms.
Water lapped at his tailbone, drawing attention to his tight waist and firm backside. Liquid beads glittered as they slid down his tawny flesh to rejoin the pool, reflecting the blush-tinted light and darkening the hairs enrobing his skin, droplets on crushed velvet.
We were under open sky yet he took up all the space in world. He was the epitome of masculinity.
Strong, powerful, dominant.
My fingers curled into fists, nails digging stinging cuts into my sore palms.
Desire coiled throughout my body, making mockery of any sensation that came before it. It invaded my bloodstream, infecting my cells and breathing became difficult, my heart thumping out of rhythm.
He turned to grace me with the clean lines of his profile.
I felt able to break free of the vision before me having indulged in a lengthy appraisal of his brutally handsome face on more than one occasion, but there was something I hadn’t yet seen, and my eyes dropped of their own accord.
A smouldering burn ignited in my most tender flesh.
Beowyn stroked his cock in quick, hard tugs. He threw his head back, the cords in his neck taut, muscles lining his abdomen contracting. Tendons in his forearms popped as he whipped his hand back and forth in the disturbed water. His husky frame stiffened and jerked in time with the mindless th
rust of his hips. Growling at the back of his throat, creamy seed spurted over his hand, the other cupping his balls.
Sooty lashes opening, he pinned me with a scorching stare.
Vivid eyes beamed with the aural glow of a dying star, the silver flecks in his irises scintillating embers. The breathtaking sight diminished alongside the heaving rise and fall of his chest.
I dipped my head between my bent knees to catch a breath. ‘My God.’ I squeezed my eyes shut. The ecstasy suffusing his face was branded there.
Guttural words dripped with sticky, musky syrup. ‘Look at me.’
My palms kneaded my thighs.
‘Turn around and see me.’ He chuckled. ‘Though my needs have been met, I remain proportional. Verak are always hard.’
‘This is no patient.’
‘But I do not recall asking you to watch me.’
‘You knew I watched.’
Still he’d stroked himself to climax, a beautiful pain to witness.
‘Watching is not as fun as partaking,’ he said suggestively. ‘Look at me.’
I twisted my head to glare.
Lips curved, he jerked his chin. ‘So you do know how to obey.’ In my peripheral vision, I noticed his hand slip down his body to grip the cock curving from a thatch of downy hair. ‘I wonder. What must I offer to have you on your knees, wet and wanting?’
Wetness seeped between my innermost thighs. I gritted my teeth. ‘More than you can afford.’
‘Perhaps. I would give all I own to taste you.’
‘Am I supposed to be flattered?’
‘Are you not?’
‘We just finished discussing how it would be better to wait before we started doing this.’
‘You told me you thought it would be better then walked away.’ He snorted. ‘At what point did I agree?’
Irritation an ice pick hammering my temple, I exhaled through my nose. ‘Is everything a joke or a game to you?’
‘Is everything a chore or an imposition to you?’
I flinched, stung. ‘That’s no true.’
‘You no longer even see the raising of your cub as a joy.’
‘Fergie is the best thing in my life. I’ve done everything I can to make sure she has what she needs and is happy.’
Shrewd eyes narrowed. ‘Is she?’
I’d forgotten Beowyn’s attitude hid a keen intelligence that missed little and gleaned much. ‘Is she what?’
‘Happy?’
Air left me in a rush, his words a punch to the gut. ‘No.’
‘You surprise me.’ He frowned. ‘I expected you to avoid answering.’
‘I’m no a liar. My daughter is not happy. She has moments of happiness from silly toys I buy to patch over my absence.’ Buying away my guilt. ‘She saw too little of me. She got less of the attention she deserved because I worked crushing hours.’ The time her sole parent did spend in her company was filled with television and quick trips to the park, or the community swimming pool. ‘I was too exhausted much else than a kiss before bed or a hug before I was out the door.’
Beowyn crossed his arms. ‘I watched the cub. I have spoken to her. She is sure of her place in the world and friendly.’ His expression was fierce. ‘I have not chosen a weak female to bear my cubs. I never would. It is too important to me.’
‘Oh, I’m not a bad mother.’ I wasn’t great one either. How it hurt to know I caused unhappiness in my precious child’s life. ‘I had to work to put a roof over our heads and food on the table.’
He nodded but said nothing.
I could explain to an adult why I made the choices I made but to a toddler? An explanation didn’t change the fact I wasn’t there, a ghost in her life. I was missing it. Going to Vayhalun had been so important. It was meant to be the solution. My daughter and I were going to reconnect. We were supposed to be adjusting to a strange, but welcome male presence that would balance the parenting equation, and complete our family of two.
My eyes burned, throat scratched by a dry tickle.
I wished we were back in our crummy apartment, my child safe in her princess bedsheets that cost me nine hours of overtime to afford.
Beowyn watched the emotions riot over my expression. ‘You are wise enough to ask for help but resent the ones who offer aid. You see their contributions as a failing on your part.’
‘You don’t know me well enough to make such a judgement.’
‘Sìne, you take life too seriously.’
‘You don’t take it seriously enough.’
‘Do I not know you well enough to glean an understanding of your proud nature, or do we both know the other well enough to make statements about how we tread the paths of our lives?’ He arched a mocking brow. ‘Which is it?’
‘You know what?’ I raked my fingers through my matted curls. My scalp twinged. ‘Leave me alone.’
‘Is this not what you wanted?’
‘You want to fight.’ I wanted to reach a mutual place of understanding.
‘How else are we going to get to know each other when you hiss and snarl each time I dig deeper?’
‘Dig deeper? When was this supposed to have been happening? I missed this deep introspection.’ I tapped my chin. Snapped my fingers. ‘I know. It must have been sandwiched between the sexual innuendos and lustful stares.’
‘Am I not to be beguiled by and wish to bed my One?’
‘You call me your One and say you care yet you’ve no spent anytime kenning my daughter beyond what’s polite. Anybody with eyes can see she’s everything to me. I thought you wanted a real relationship and would be willing to work for it but all you care about is fucking. What I can no understand is why you bother say I’m special then treat me like the rest of you whores.’
Just like that I took it too far.
‘My concubines and lovers are dear to me.’ The cutting look he swept over my squatting form had me wanting to curl up in shame. ‘You speak of me not knowing you and yours then declare to know what passes between me and those under my protection?’
I closed my mouth with a snap.
‘Fear not.’ His cheekbones were slashing lines under the skin of his face. ‘I will cease touching you as it makes you feel like one of my whores. Good people you judge harshly but have yet to set eyes upon. People I would have remanded to your belittling care had I not realised the nature of you. You who are their Queen and should care for them as extensions of us.’
My gut clenched. I’d opened a rift between us where before there was only wariness. ‘Beowyn.’ My voice shook.
‘Avert your eyes so I may bathe.’
‘You were no shy before.’
‘That was then.’
I waited for him to take it back with a teasing laugh or beckoning smile.
He gave me nothing.
Turning to give him my back as requested, I couldn’t help but feel I’d disappointed not only him but myself.
We searched again until the sun set.
Awareness of Beowyn’s gaze on the back of my neck had me more out of breath than slogging through the dense undergrowth. And he wasn’t talking to me. I wasn’t an attention seeker, but a cursory look or half assed enquiry as to my physical and mental fortitude would have been appreciated.
‘My comments on your liberal lifestyle and concubines offended you. I get it.’ He wasn’t exactly the poster boy for political correctness, but I was trying to apologise, not make him angrier. ‘I’m sorry, okay?’ Silence. ‘We needed to work together no alienate each other.’
Stride lengthening, he grunted.
‘Ouch.’ I accidentally-on-purpose fell over to gain his attention.
He glanced over his shoulder, sniffed at my clumsiness, and then carried on.
I apologised again, waffling about how I would broaden my horizons and meet his harem before I made judgement. I laid myself bare. Did he relent? Offer to meet me halfway? No. He treated me like an oozy leper.
At twilight, he deigned to teach me the Galactic Compatibility
test.
Scratch, sniff, lick.
This was in case something happened to him, and I needed to fend for myself. He told me the injections we’d had on the Dragonfly would counteract any dangerous microbes, but that it was better to be cautious.
His nonchalance about the scenario where he died alarmed me.
Visibly.
Not that he cared.
The vibrant, open Beowyn of before was gone. In its place? An alien short on patience and quick to anger.
I couldn’t even be mad at him.
My prissy behaviour brought us to this point. The problem was I had no idea how to get us back to neutral territory. My past relationships had been far from healthy and communicative.
So my husband was an alien, and I should not have assumed his thoughts and actions ran parallel to my human one when it came to expressing affection, caring and intimacy.
I’d learned my lesson.
The continued chill coming from him, and his refusal to accept my apology with any kind of grace meant he fast lost the moral high ground and had begun to piss me right off. As did his many attempts to ignore my latest suggestions to adjust our path.
He barely looked at me as he spoke in a tone thick with derision. ‘Do you possess my aforementioned skills in tracking, Sìne? Or do you mean for us to walk straight into a gully?’
‘I am so done being nice.’ I fisted my hands and glared at his back. ‘You were wrong too, Owyn, and you know it.’
‘Do not put words in my mouth.’
‘Maybe I was out of line.’
‘Maybe she says.’
‘Admit there was some truth in what I said, and I’ll do the same.’
He spun, his nostrils flared and his jaw ticked.
I took a big step back.
His eyes dropped to my feet then shot back to my face. His expression was double-pissed now. I’d offended him again. ‘We must keep moving.’
‘Why will you no meet me halfway?’
‘We must search.’
‘In a minute.’ I twisted my necklace around my finger. ‘This is more important.’
‘At last I have it.’ He flung up his arms. ‘An admission our mating means something other than convenience to you. I might expire of shock.’ When he saw the devastated look on my face, a contradiction of his accusation, he lowered his arms and scowled at his boots. He turned his body to angle away from me, arms crossed, shutting me out.
ThunderClaw: Science Fiction Romance (Alien Warrior Book 2) Page 12