Éorik gave an indulgent shake of his gleaming horns, skeins of hair slipping over his brawny arms. The firm lines and smooth creases of his muscles were starkly delineated as he leant on the hooked curve of his elbow spurs. ‘If you tell anyone I gave fashion advice….’ He let the threat trail off and sneered.
I stuck my tongue out at him.
Keeping my thoughts shallow to prevent myself overthinking it all, I rubbed a light flower oil into my tanned shoulders and the hollow of my throat. It was all the cosmetics I allowed myself. My feet were bare, and I left them that way. It made me feel vulnerable, and I figured the jittery feeling was a good thing.
Maybe it would help me keep my guard down.
I studied myself in the mirror and nodded. I looked like a happier, glossier version of me–no artifice.
When Éorik smiled in approval, my heart thumped. ‘Come with me.’
‘Why would I do that?’
‘To tell him how you feel.’
He was already shaking his head. ‘It did not go well the last time I tried.’
‘He was upset because he’d found out about us.’ I cupped his face in my hands. ‘We need to be brave.’ I swallowed and forged ahead. ‘I love you. I want all of us together. I want to wake up with you both, and eat my meals with you. For my family to know how important you are to me.’
His eyes met mine. He gripped my arms, speaking slowly. ‘You love me.’ he seemed to taste the words.
I nodded frantically. ‘We love Beowyn, and while it’s weirdly sweet we admitted it to each other first, he should know too.’ I kissed his mouth over and over. It was addictive. ‘Do you no want to move past this horrible awkward stage so the three of us can just be?’
He searched my eyes. ‘I do not want you to be disappointed if he does not want this.’ He made a vague gesture between us then moved it outwards to indicate our missing third party.
‘He wants us. Trust me. We have to have some courage and make the first step.’ During the day, I’d relaxed to such a degree my mind started filling in blanks. I realised I’d missed or misinterpreted some important signals.
I now remembered how open Beowyn had been when telling me of the Lonely Lovers, and during our disastrous date, he’d not said a word against Éorik being present. At Carnival, hadn’t he shown he had no problems with the three of us together?
He’d resigned himself to waiting to be claimed after I expressed a need for time on the jungle planet. I’d told him I wanted to move forward, but Verak were doers not talkers, and I still hadn’t actually made the move.
Traits Beowyn displayed which used to fill me with dread because they reminded me of Liam no longer did.
They were two very different people.
Beowyn had more than proven he was worth taking a chance on. So I was going to make the move; ready for the rest of my life to begin.
Éorik studied me. ‘You are sure?’
I hugged him around the neck to whisper in his pointy ear. ‘I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life.’
So when I dragged Éorik out of bed, hurried him into his clothes, and then dragged him down the corridor to burst into the bedroom I shared with my husband, full of hopes and dreams and grand declarations, only to see him with his dick out and cavorting with his concubine, I felt as if everything that had come to matter to me slipped through my fingers.
‘No,’ I said to no one in particular.
Beowyn blinked, straightening and pulling at the hand wrapped around his cock. ‘Sìne?’
Éorik’s arms slipped around me and held me so very tight.
I breathed a slow pull of air that whistled between my teeth, swelling my lungs and lifting my chest before escaping my nose in a gust.
White noise fuzzed my hearing.
‘Sìne?’ A hand landed on my chin and tilted up my expressionless face. Éorik flinched. ‘Lover, it is our way. Do you not love him? Unconditionally? Do you not love all parts of him?’
‘No,’ I said again.
Head turning, I let the white noise drown him out. I shoved him away to stand alone. There was nothing but the thunder of blood in my ears until a roar of sound rushed to fill the void.
‘How could you do this?’ Éorik’s bellow shattered the silence. ‘Do you see her face?’ He fixed his ire on the naked, erect male sprawled on the sheets. ‘And you.’
The concubine backed up the sleeping mat, mouth agape.
Faster than my eyes could follow, he turned into a she and cowered against the headboard, making a fluttering, mewling cry at the back of her throat that was at once sweet and pitiful.
Large eyes overflowed with crystal tears, and a rosebud mouth quivered.
‘Quit it,’ I snapped. ‘Nobody cares.’
Well of tears instantly running dry, she glared and made a flurried hand gesture I guessed wouldn’t be considered polite in certain alien circles.
‘Right back at you,’ I hissed.
Beowyn tucked himself away, making some response, but I ignored him, consumed by my thoughts and wishing to fade away. Part of me must have known this was coming, so why did I feel betrayed? I no longer understood myself.
I stand outside Liam’s front door. It’s raining. I’m soaked to the skin and shivering. ‘I just want to talk. You won’t answer my calls.’
Brown eyes once loving are cold. ‘Now is not a good time.’
The rejection stung. A month prior, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who’d told me he could be so cruel. ‘How can you act like I mean nothing to you? How can you–.’
‘Liam? Liam, love. What’s going on?’ There she is. Tall, beautiful with curvy hips and breasts. Her blonde hair feathers around her heart-shaped face. Delicate eyebrows rise and sky blue eyes narrow. ‘Who’s this?’ Dressed in his white shirt, top buttons undone, she looks flushed and dishevelled. The smell of sex and expensive perfume wafts around her.
I push wet, tangled hair from my face and huddle deeper into my threadbare cardigan. ‘Liam,’ I whisper.
He sighs. ‘Seriously. Enough, Sìne. Fuck off.’ He slams the door in my face.
A feminine giggle behind the wood.
Gasping, I turn, blind, senseless, and trip.
My knees scrape and bleed. The impact judders my frame. I cry rain-washed tears and sob until my throat is hoarse.
I can’t breathe. My heart feels like a block of ice in my chest.
Bright light hazed my vision as I swallowed the bitter saliva pooling on my tongue. I blinked slowly. I was hollow like those long, boomerang seed pods I found as a child–shrivelled, flakey and rattling when shook.
My hand clamped down on my blaster, a piece of reality to which I anchored myself. My hand hurt it clenched so tightly around the textured grip.
Not once had Beowyn sworn off his harem. Not once did he tell me he’d set aside his lovers. It was me. I’d failed to reveal my feelings before it was too late.
Each word, every sentence and conversation I’d had with Beowyn now seemed a pointless battlefield of hidden meaning and miscommunication.
I unholstered my weapon, eyes darting, taken aback nobody had yet moved to stop me. Then again, Beowyn and Éorik pressed chest to chest, nose to nose, snarling incomprehensibly at each other. The growingly familiar weight of the blaster strained my wrist. Its irregular shape stretched my fingers yet fit my palm with ease.
Lurking at the fringe of the argument, Ryki spotted me as I slid my feet apart and lifted my arm.
Her cranial feathers stood on end, rosy yellow face blanching. Dropping the silky robe clutched to her voluptuous chest, she shifted into her male counterpart. Ryki dove to the edge of the room, abandoning Beowyn without so much as a warning to flee.
I hesitated at a whisper of doubt worming through my steely detachment.
Seeing Beowyn’s utter confusion as to why Éorik was so angry, I saw double, and my finger pressed, arm jerking from the force of the recoil.
A slash of red cut through the air then a
fizzing projectile sailed in an arc where the light ended.
The impact blew a hole through the wall and took me off my feet.
Ears ringing from the concussive sound, I coughed, blinking to clear my eyes of grit. I rolled onto all fours and up to my spread knees. Fierce satisfaction rampaged through my blood. This felt so much better than suffering in silence. A violent outpouring of the regret and resentment festering inside was amazing. No wonder males went at it like savages when angry.
Getting physical was revitalising. Freeing. I obviously needed more of cathartic shit in my life.
The dust cleared into gritty clouds then heavy clumps that settled. The elaborately carved bed with its tacky drapes was gone, a ring of fire outlining the perimeter of the blast.
Eyebrows hovering near my hairline, my gaze dropped to the smoking weapon secured in my fist. The satisfaction coursing through me deepened into glee. ‘Huh.’
Beowyn shoved off the scorched remains furniture to gain his feet. His hands fisted and pressed his temples. ‘What is wrong with you?’
Everything snapped back into focus. ‘You’re what’s wrong with me.’
Beowyn’s eyes rounded. ‘But there are other ways to get my attention.’
‘You think this is about wanting attention?’ Eyes closed, I shook my head with my hand. ‘No. This is no about that. No. This is about you messing with my mind and making me feel like shit and making me think things which aren’t true ending in me being fucked.’
‘This is not what you think.’
‘Right.’
His body stiffened. ‘I did not send for him.’
‘He lay in wait to throw himself at you?’
‘This is what happened yet you sound as if you do not believe it.’
I checked the blaster charge like Hel Bihter taught me. The warning indicator blinked. ‘What gave me away?’
‘I never intended to do anything but send him on his way.’
‘Fine, Beowyn.’ I wiped a renegade tear from my cheek. ‘I believe you.’
‘You must believe–you do?’
‘Your leathers were open and his legs wrapped around your waist.’ My gaze skipped through the room. I snorted bitterly. ‘Do I look like an idiot?’
A derisive snort came from behind a garment chest. My head whipped around, attention arrowing to it.
‘A moment of indecisiveness.’ Beowyn raised his palms, face a picture of earnestness. ‘Nothing more.’
‘Only a moment’s worth?’
‘Not even that.’
I met his guilty gaze, mine brimming with resentment. My throat constricted but I managed to whisper, ‘Liar.’
His face and hands dropped.
Figuring I could always clobber the surviving interloper to death once I’d drained my weapon’s batteries, I aimed with intent. My finger pressed and what felt like a sack of bricks slammed into me. I was flattened by a heavy body as the second explosion rocked the room.
Éorik rolled, pinning me under him.
Yanking the blaster from my grip, he levered himself up and lifted into a squat, scowling thunderously. ‘Enough.’
I scrambled onto my feet, shooting him a glare. My attention snapped right back to Beowyn, picking himself off the floor. ‘Honestly, right now I couldn’t care less if you wanted to fuck him. Let me be clear.’ I pointed at Éorik. ‘You may bed him. You may bed me. That is it.’ My palm flattened and pushed towards the ground. I yelled at the top of my lungs, ‘Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth?’
Beowyn stared. ‘You order me to give up my harem? My lovers?’
‘You’re no going to have a harem or lovers left as soon as I put my hands on another blaster to finish cleaning house.’
He threw a flabbergasted look at Éorik then an outraged one back at me. ‘Do you threaten to kill my lovers?’
‘I’m no threatening.’ I leant in. ‘I’m telling you as I do.’
A feminine throat cleared.
We turned to see Lumen’s disembodied head sticking out from the door jamb. The creamy brown oval of her face was pale around the mouth and eyes, her hair a kinky mess.
Arms covered in iridescent, amber scales double wrapped around her belly and chest in protective bands, keeping her from entering.
‘Hello from the freaked out hallway crowd.’ She offered a feeble smile; her voice was high and trembling. ‘Is, um, everything good in here? We heard shouting then an awful big explosion….’ Her eyes popped wide as she noticed the smoking hole in the wall.
Ignoring her, Beowyn glowered at me. ‘You make no sense.’
Red in the face, I pointed at my head. ‘Do you think I care what you think anymore?’
‘I do.’
‘Fuck you.’
Carefully navigating the mess to my side, Venomous a step behind, Lumen gawked at the destruction. ‘Someone’s views on gun control flipped one-eighty.’
My arm flew back to point at the demolished bed. ‘My self-esteem does not need to be taking that kind of hit each time I walk into the bedroom I share with my husband.’
Her face showed a lack of comprehension.
‘Him fucking someone not us,’ I clarified flicking a hand at Éorik.
She shot her friend a fearsome look of judgement in the name of female solidarity. ‘Oh, Wyn. I told you to talk to her about this.’ She faced me, glanced at Éorik. ‘I told all of you to talk to each other. I worried this might happen.’
‘He knows how Liam hurt me and this is what he does?’ I speared Beowyn with a glare. ‘Right now I do not like you. You will do better. You will make me and my Éorik happy because there is no alternative.’
‘My?’ His jaw clenched with his fists.
‘Ours.’ I sucked in a breath. ‘On some level, you knew this would hurt me Beowyn. You did it anyway.’
‘Even if I had done what you accuse, you act as if I need ask your permission.’
‘Wouldn’t asking have at least showed you cared enough about me to check I was okay with it?’
Up to that point, I’d struggled to voice what I wanted, but had he come to me? I would’ve found the strength to speak.
His eyes drifted to Éorik, head cocking, brow arching in demand.
‘I didn’t ask, but that was different. I explained it. I tried to talk to you about it.’ I backed off shaking my head. My chest felt heavy, my skin too tight. ‘To hell with you for standing there and pretending like you have no understood what I was feeling this whole time.’
I ignored Lumen’s cry to wait and slammed the door in Éorik’s beseeching face when he reached for me.
Doors opened, and my cousins popped their heads out of their rooms, faces dark with concern.
‘Go back to sleep.’ I gave them a tired wave. ‘Sorry about the noise.’
Brows furrowing, Patrick looked me over. Whatever he saw had him shifting forward as if to follow.
‘Not now.’ I jerked a palm in his direction. ‘I need fresh air. Tomorrow?’
His eyes moved beyond me. Mouth thinning, he snapped a nod. ‘I’ll keep the the wee bit in here with me then.’
‘I’ll see you at breakfast.’ I ducked my head to avoid his gaze. I needed to get away and order my thoughts. Things had to change. I would no longer bite my tongue or hold inside the things I wanted to say and do. Maybe I shouldn’t have reacted with violence as I did, but I wasn’t sorry.
Beowyn would never forget this.
I was fiendishly glad even as I wondered if this would be a breaking point between us.
Headed towards Éorik’s apartments, I quickened my pace when I heard footsteps behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see Beowyn eating up the corridor with his long-legged stride.
His narrowed gaze drilled mine as his mouth parted to speak.
I turned a corner, my hand sliding across the whitewashed wall to steady me on the polished floor.
I burst inside the room and swiped a thumb over the glass data pad to lock the door. There was one room in
the palace Beowyn couldn’t unlock as King, a gift of privacy for his closest friend.
A thump came from the other side. ‘Open the door.’ His voice was muffled, but I heard the thrum of anger making his command short and sharp.
At my silence, he cursed and bellowed for his Commander.
I skipped through the room to the balcony. My bare feet slapped against the stone steps leading out into the gardens, heart skittering inside my ribcage when I heard the doors crash open. I scanned the neat gravel path and pruned foliage for escape.
Air playing around the open space was redolent with the brackish tinge of the sea. The water was close. Its rhythmic coming and going a melodic pulse burrowing into my soul.
I’d come to love the music of Vayhalun’s nature, its zingy freshness.
Tears spiked my lashes as I breathed deep enough to bow my chest. A breeze drifted over my face and cooled my heated cheeks, the waves sang their songs and smoothed the jagged edges of my emotions. I opened my eyes and stared at the volcykle Éorik bought earlier during our outing. It was heavier and chunkier compared to the sleek and light vehicle I’d learned to pilot. Its black and silver paint was pristine, its shape aggressive even while motionless. My body listed towards it. As my feet shuffled, my mind threw up arguments as to why it might not be sensible.
I picked up sounds of Beowyn tearing through the apartment looking for me and Éorik’s sonorous timbre biding him to calm.
I ran a hand over the volcykle’s rubber handlebars. It didn’t seem like an unreasonable idea even if it wasn’t the safest. I knew how to operate the controls. Éorik wouldn’t mind if I borrowed it. I kicked up a leg to mount then froze at the feel of eyes on me.
‘You need the passcode. It will not start without it.’ My lover descended the steps. He shifted aside as my husband came thundering down to overtake him near the bottom, crunching across the gravel in his thick-soled boots.
‘Are you out of your mind?’ Beowyn yelled in my face. His fury made him appear twice his usual size. ‘Do you have any idea what you have done?’
Shrinking back, my cocked foot hit the ground with a thud. ‘Go away.’ I twisted my face from his livid one.
‘No.’ He grabbed my chin. ‘Look at me and listen. You threatened someone under my protection. This is not on.’
ThunderClaw: Science Fiction Romance (Alien Warrior Book 2) Page 39