by Shealy James
Then it occurred to me it had been off all day. Maybe he tried to call me all day and warn me. Maybe he tried to call me all day to end things with me. Maybe Harrison finally gave him the ultimatum he had been waiting to deliver. Harrison made sure I didn’t have a job, so I was sure he had something in store for Grant once I was out of the picture. Maybe he was hoping I would look like a gold digger, because if I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to pay rent unless I somehow found a job in the next week or two. He was wrong about me asking Grant for help, but right about not being able to pay my rent. Mark made sure of that. I had no back up money. I had spent almost everything I had saved from living with my parents by starting this new life that was practically over. What a waste.
The flight attendant stopped by to ask if I needed anything. I asked for water, and she brought me a cup with ice and water, and some tissues. I hadn’t even realized that tears were dripping from my eyes. I thanked her, and she smiled sadly at me like she knew what I was going through. I wasn’t even sure I knew what I was going through. I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around everything that had happened in the last week. I was so happy that first week I was here, like I was finally free, like I could finally breathe again. On that flight it was like my breath had been stolen from me all over again, so I did the same thing I had done last time I felt like this. I went home to my parents.
I must have nodded off at some point because I woke with a jolt when the plane landed. I waited until almost everyone was off the plane before grabbing my bag and going to the place my sister and I always met outside baggage claim. Her giant SUV was parked just where I expected it, and she was in the driver’s seat in her pajamas. I threw my bag in the back seat on the floor and climbed in the passenger’s seat.
“Hey, peanut.”
“Hey, big sister. Thanks for coming to get me. Thanks for coming alone.”
“Of course.” She smiled and grabbed my hand. “I thought you might need to talk, or sleep by the looks of it.” She started driving out of the airport and onto the interstate.
“Yeah. I slept a little on the plane, but my mind has been going like the Energizer bunny running on a hamster wheel, and I can’t keep up. This whole thing with Mark is out of control. Wait until I show you his text messages. Then I have all of this stuff going on with Grant’s mother, not to mention I have been lying to Grant about everything with Mark. Grant’s dad made sure I lost my job, so I don’t know how I can afford to live there, but I can’t afford to move back here either. I don’t know how my life reached this point, but I want a do-over.”
She ran her hands through my hair like she did when we were kids. It was still pinned up, but it felt comforting to have my sister do her normal big sister routine. “I’m sorry, Evie. I know that this is hard, but we’re all here for you. Don’t worry about the money stuff. That’s easily fixable. The other stuff…I need more information, but we’ll figure everything out together. Let’s get you home and in bed first.”
She took me to my parents’ house where both of my parents were awake and expecting me. With big hugs from both of them and few words, I headed up to my old bedroom and went to bed. I was so tired that as soon as my head hit the pillow, everything was forgotten and I was out for the count.
A sweet voice was saying my name when I woke up. “Evie, I think you need to wake up. You need to eat something.” It was my mom.
“Mom?”
“Yeah, peanut. It’s Mom. Wake up. I made your favorite.” She was unpinning my hair and running her hands through the knotted curls.
“You made me pancakes?” I asked.
“Covered in butter with powdered sugar and strawberry preserves.” She kissed my forehead.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now come before they get cold.” I rolled out of bed and changed clothes into a pair of pajama pants and a cami. Downstairs in the kitchen I found my dad, sister, and my mom waiting for me at the kitchen table. It was just like I was a kid again. Mom used to make pancakes for dinner for Janie and me. Dad would get eggs and bacon, and Mom would eat an egg sandwich. This was what I wished for. They were giving me a do-over, even if it was just for one night.
I went back up to bed early, and I decided it was time to face the music. I turned my phone on and found thirty-four text messages and twelve voicemails when it finally loaded. I clicked the first voicemail. It was Grant. “Baby, I have been walking around this party now for an hour, and I still haven’t seen you. I know you’re upset, but it isn’t what you think. I’m sure you don’t have your phone on you, but if you happen to check it, please come and find me. Love you.”
At least I know he was looking for me. I skipped the rest and clicked the last voicemail. Grant’s voice came through the phone again, except this time it was strained. The message was from this morning.
“Eve, I’m still at your apartment, and you aren’t here. I don’t know if something has happened to you or where you are. We tried tracking your phone, but it’s off. I need to know you’re okay. Please call me, text me, anything.” His voice cracked. “Please baby. I love you.”
That one hurt. He thought something happened to me. He didn’t know I left. I hated that I made him worry because I was weak and needed to get away, so I took the easy way out and sent him a text.
Me: I’m safe. Call you when I can. I’m sorry about everything.
I immediately turned my phone off, knowing he would message back or track it, and I just couldn’t handle either.
Chapter 23
I slept soundly that night, having taken steps to move forward in life. I didn’t even remember dreaming. I woke up to the sun in my face—the warm Georgia sun—and I stretched every limb as far as I could. It was early for me, but I decided to go for a quick run anyway. I threw on some old running gear, and although the shorts felt a little short, everything still fit.
Mom was waiting downstairs drinking her morning coffee. “Good morning,” I said cheerfully as I walked into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools at the big island. My parents’ kitchen was white with grey granite called “jet mist.” It was really beautiful, and I loved sitting in my spot while my dad read the paper in the morning, and my mom stood in her spot drinking her coffee. “Where’s Dad?” I asked when I realized his usual morning seat was already cleaned up.
She poured me a glass of orange juice and gave me a bagel with cream cheese. “He went to a build site today, but he’ll be home for lunch. Going running?”
I nodded because my mouth was full. When I swallowed, I said, “I need to move. I slept too much yesterday.”
She ran her hands through my ponytail. “You needed it, peanut. It looked like you hadn’t slept in weeks. You still look tired and a little pale, but a run couldn’t hurt. Just be careful. You aren’t used to running in this heat.”
I finished my bagel and told her I would be back later. I ran around my parents’ neighborhood twice, which was about a mile, before I was so sweaty I couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t just hot. It was humid as well, and that was a painful combination. I walked the rest of the way to my parents’ house and went inside to take a shower. I let my hair air dry in a mess of curls that hung down to the middle of my back and dressed in short cutoff jean shorts and a tank top. I felt like a teenager again.
I brought my laptop to the kitchen to work on job applications while my mom sat there balancing her checkbook the old fashioned way as she wrote checks for bills. Jane and I both had tried to get them to do that online, but they just liked doing things the way they always had. We drank freshly squeezed lemonade and snacked on cheese and crackers and grapes.
Our peaceful day ended abruptly when an unexpected knock came at the front door. My mom looked at me. “You expecting someone?”
“No one knows I’m here except for people who have a key to the house. I didn’t even tell Holly.” She looked nervous, and I felt it. We were both thinking the same thing. Mark.
We went to the door together where my
mom looked through the peephole as I peeked out the curtain in the dining room. In the driveway I saw a sleek Mercedes Benz convertible—definitely not Mark. When I turned toward the door there was no mistaking who it was standing there. “Mom, open the door.”
“Who is he?” she whispered as she turned the knob.
“Grant.” I placed my hand over hers and pulled the door.
Light filled the entry hall, and there stood a beautiful man, looking like a worn-out CEO in charcoal slacks and a blue button-down with his sleeves rolled up. He took me in as I pushed the glass door open for him. I didn’t even have words, so we stood there silent for a moment while I stared into his tired eyes that were a disconcerting shade of brown.
“How did you…” I started to ask.
“Tara. Dr. Clarke. Maddox,” he said without taking his eyes off of me.
My mom chimed in, trying to break the tension with true southern hospitality. “Hello, Grant. I’m Evie’s mother, Ellen. Won’t you please come in?”
He looked up like he just noticed her and gave her his polite million-dollar smile. “Ellen,” he took her hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you from Eve and Tara.”
“Oh heavens! I’m sure those girls only tell lies.” You have no idea, Mom. She laughed, and he smiled. Mom just had a way with people. “Would you like lemonade, sweet tea, water?”
He sat down on one of the wooden chairs at our round kitchen table. “I would love to try this sweet tea Eve has been raving about. She can’t find it anywhere in Seattle and says hers is not nearly as good as yours.”
I moved my computer to the side and saved the page of the application I was working on, so I wouldn’t have to start over. “It’s the water, Mom. Their water isn’t made for sweet tea like it is down here.”
She tweaked my ear like I was still a little kid as she put down his drink. I didn’t mind. “Sure, peanut. That’s the problem.”
“Peanut?” Grant said.
My mom smiled. “That’s her name in this house. Jane was five when I was pregnant with Evie. When we told Jane that we were pregnant, Jane asked how big the baby was because I wasn’t showing yet. Their dad said the baby was the size of a peanut, and it stuck. She’s been our peanut ever since.”
“That’s a good memory. Tell me more about peanut.” He took a sip of his sweet tea. “This is delicious.”
“Of course it is. You’re in the Deep South now, my friend. Everything is fried, sweetened, or dipped in butter. In some cases all three.” She smiled warmly like a mom should.
She sat down at the table with her freshly poured lemonade. “So, you want to hear about Evie, huh? Let’s see…She was a tough little soccer player growing up. She quit in middle school because she discovered dresses and the curling iron. She loved singing and dancing. I think we have some videos of her playing Ado Annie in Oklahoma and Rizzo in Grease. She was incredible.” Oh jeez, could this get any more embarrassing? “Boys drooled over her and called the house at all hours of the day and night.” Turns out, yes. Yes, it can get worse. “I thought her dad was going to have a heart attack before she graduated high school. She was our good girl, though. I never had to worry about her while she was growing up. Jane, on the other hand, she was the one who made their dad’s hair turn grey.”
I stopped my mom. “Enough walking down memory lane, Mom. I’m sure Grant didn’t fly all this way to watch videos of me singing off-tune in my high school musicals.” I gave her a pointed look.
He laughed. “Actually, I would be happy to see these videos.”
“No,” I snapped. He laughed.
My mom realized Grant and I probably needed alone time, so she made her excuses. “I have some laundry to take care of. This summer heat has been a nightmare, and the kids go through three outfits each on Saturdays. I hope you can stay for lunch and meet Bill, and dinner to meet Jane and John and the kids.”
“I would love to stay. Thank you, Ellen.”
She smiled and headed up the back staircase.
He turned to me and there was no trace of a smile anymore. He brushed hair from my face and then ran his hand down my cheek. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I replied nervously.
“I think I died on Saturday night. My heart stopped beating, and I couldn’t breathe.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead, my cheeks, and my lips. “What the hell were you thinking leaving like that?”
I pulled away from him. “There’s a lot I didn’t tell you, and when I saw you get out of the car with her—”
He quickly interrupted. “You know my parents did that. I was just being polite walking her in. As soon as I passed the crowd at the door, I was searching every face for you.”
“I know it was your parents, but they aren’t going to stop until I’m gone. Your dad called the college and had me fired. That night was my last night, and that was their way of twisting the knife.”
“Dr. Clarke and Tara filled me in. Tara found your dress, so I knew you chose to leave, but I didn’t know why until Dr. Clarke told me to leave you alone. That little old man is very protective of you.”
I smiled at his truth. “He’s protective of his baked goods. Dr. Clarke and Tara didn’t know I left. How did you know where to find me?”
“I called Maddox and had him track you. We couldn’t find your phone. Finally, yesterday afternoon, he found your name on a passenger manifest. I knew you came home. I just didn’t know why you wouldn’t have told me. You know I would’ve flown with you out here.” He looked so tired, probably because he hadn’t slept since he got up on Saturday morning.
“I didn’t want you to follow me. There’s more going on than I have told you, and I was drowning. I am drowning. The last straw was watching you hold out your hand for her and then escort her in. She looked so happy. At first I just went home to my apartment, and then I realized I needed my family, so I came home. I had to be here anyway this week for the mediation, which I also didn’t tell you about because I was afraid you would interfere.”
He was angry. His jaw was so tight that it looked like it would break. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees then said, “Why…” He paused, and I watched as he physically got control over his temper. “Why couldn’t you just talk to me?”
“I need to deal with some of this on my own. I wasn’t ready for you in my life. We’ve been together like five minutes, and I wasn’t ready for any of it. I wasn’t ready for a relationship or to feel this way about you. I fell in love with you. God, do I love you. You are so strong and caring, and I’m such a fucking mess. I have only brought drama and problems into your life, and I’m so tired of being the weak one who needs help all the time. It isn’t who I am, so I was trying to finish this divorce bullshit on my own. I thought if I could get that out of the way then maybe I could deal with all the other bullshit, like finding a job if I want to stay in Seattle.”
“Let’s not worry about the job thing right now, and you’re staying in Seattle with me,” he said matter-of-factly, then kissed my hands that he was now holding. “You’re not weak, Eve. I want to help you. So much of what you’re going through is out of your hands, and I happen to have the power to handle some of this for you. It’s what we do for people we love. You would help me if I needed it.”
“Grant, you have your parents to deal with. You don’t need my problems on top of that. If we’re going to be together, we have to find a way for your parents to accept us, and Kitty to stay out of the way. If not, then I already know how this is going to go, and I’m afraid you wasted a trip.”
“What are you saying, Eve?”
“I’m saying what I have been saying all along. I will not come between you and your parents. They’re your family, Grant. If I know anything, it’s that you never come between someone and their family. Family comes first in my world.”
“So that’s it?” he snapped without raising his voice. “You’d give up that easily? You would just have me marry Kitty to make my
parents happy? You know that’s the only thing that will make my mother happy.”
“What happens the next time my life goes to shit?” My voice was shaking, but I willed myself not to cry. Not this time. “What happens when you decide that you are done with my drama and with me? You’ll have given up your family for some crazy girl who became a huge regret?”
Grant leaned forward, so we were nose-to-nose. “I don’t know what that asshole did to you, but I hate that you talk about yourself like that, because it isn’t true. You are worth so much more than he led you to believe. You are not some crazy girl, and if you think I can just give up on you, on us, you’ve got another thing coming. I have enough fight for the both of us, and I can only hope that you get on board because I don’t plan on spending another night without you. The last two were hell, and I will not go through that again. For the first time in my life, I was terrified. I felt what you feel when you worry. That terror, it was unbearable.”
I leaned into him and pressed my lips to his. My arms went around his neck into his messy brown hair. He pulled me into his lap. “You promised you would stop running. You have to start letting me in without making me chase you.”
I burrowed my face into his neck. “I know, but I’m terrified of letting you handle everything and losing myself again in the process. I just put some of the pieces back together, and I can’t afford for them to fall apart again.”
“I know,” he whispered in my ear with his face buried in my neck. “We will fix all of this together. You don’t have to do any of this on your own. I fell in love with the feisty beauty who thought I was going to murder her when I tried to ask her out. I’ve been chasing you this whole time. Slow down and let me catch you, Eve. I will. I promise.”