She turned a miserable face toward me. “I couldn’t leave you here by yourself. I couldn’t abandon you and the farm. I thought—I really thought he’d come back. Or give in. Compromise. I would’ve traveled with him that summer if he’d promised we’d come back to Burton. But we both said things we didn’t mean, and then the next day he was gone.”
I reached across to take her hand. “Ali, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
She smiled at me, but one tear ran down her cheek. “It’s old news, Sam. Over and done, and too much time has passed to wonder what might have been. But I don’t want you to make the same mistake. Meghan will never give you a her-or-us ultimatum. This isn’t the same thing as Flynn and me, because she’s willing to become part of your life here. You can have both. All you have to do is reach out and take that chance. Don’t fuck this up, big brother. Please.”
I stood up and pushed my chair in. Ali watched me, curious.
“So what’s it going to be?”
I grinned down at her. “I think it’s time I checked out the beaches in Florida. I hear they’re perfect this time of year.”
“WHO’S THE CUTEST BOY on the beach? Who’s making all the girls check him out?” I bounced DJ on my hip, tickling him under the chin.
“Please, don’t remind me.” Lindsay, my sister-in-law, ruffled her son’s dark hair. “I know he’s just a year old, but I see these guys on the beach with the girls making eyes at them, and I think ... if they were looking at DJ like that, I’d want to scratch their eyes out.”
I laughed. “You’ve got some time. But yeah, I think this boy’s definitely going to be a chick magnet in about fifteen years.” I nuzzled his plump neck. “Don’t worry, sweetie. Auntie Megs will keep all the nasty girls away.”
“Hey, are you two planning to crimp my son’s style?” Joseph came out onto the deck of the restaurant, where Lindsay and I were playing with the baby. He stood behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her middle and pulling her back against him. He growled into her ear, and she giggled, blushing. A pang of loss and longing hit my chest, and I had to focus on standing still, forcing myself to smile again.
“We’re looking out for his welfare. We can’t have him getting tangled up with some skank.” I winked at my brother.
Joseph took the baby from my arms. “Don’t worry, kiddo, Dad’s got your back. I’ll keep the womenfolk in line when you need to check out hot babes on the beach.”
Lindsay shook her head. “You’re a bad influence, Joseph Hawthorne. Now give me my baby so I can go upstairs and put him down for a nap before the lunch rush begins.” She scooped up DJ and headed inside.
“You need any help?” I pulled out a chair, scraping it against the wood of the deck, and sat down.
“Nah, we got this. You don’t have to work on your vacation.” He laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You okay, sis? You’ve been sort of quiet since you got home. Mom’s worried.”
I rolled my eyes. “Mom worries if we breathe the wrong way. I’m surprised she notices much, though. She’s so wrapped up with Uncle Logan.”
Joseph leaned against the deck railing. “Yeah, she is. But don’t think she doesn’t see everything going on.” He paused, gazing out over the ocean. “Does it still really bother you? Mom and Logan, I mean?”
I shrugged. “No, not really. I guess it’s always kind of a shock, though, you know? While I’m away, I don’t have to think about them. Then I get home, and we’re in the kitchen at his house, which is now her house, too, and I walk in on the two of them making out in the kitchen, with Mom on the counter.”
Joseph winced. “Yeah, that’s not a visual I need. But I guess because I’m around them all the time, I’m getting used to it.” He ran a hand through his hair. “She’s so happy, Meggie. And he would walk across fire for her. His eyes never leave her, and he’s always trying to do things to bring her joy. I’m glad about that.”
“I guess so.” We were quiet for a minute, listening to the waves break on the shore and the sound of the tourists on the beach.
“But you didn’t answer me. What’s going on? Did something happen at school? Or this summer?”
I reached behind my back to tie the top of my bikini tighter. “No, nothing happened.” I stifled a sigh. “Okay, well, something did happen, but it’s nothing. It’s over, and I just need some time to move on.”
“Aha. And was this something that happened named Sam?”
My eyes flashed to his. “How did you know that?”
Joseph chuckled. “Meghan, I’m not stupid. None of us are. You talk about everyone from Burton, but whenever you say his name, you get this look on your face. This careful, blank look. It’s your tell. You did that when you talked about Dad, too, after he died. Like you could control how much you felt.”
I crossed my arms on the table and dropped my head into them. “I made a mess, Joseph. I forced him into a no-ties, friends-with-benefits-only summer affair, and then I was stupid enough to go and fall in love with him. And now it hurts, and I miss him, and it feels like nothing will ever be good again.”
My brother scooted his chair closer to me and put his arm around my shaking shoulders. “Aw, Meggie, don’t cry. It can’t be that bad. Did you tell him how you felt?”
I shook my head. “He made it clear from the beginning. He has obligations there, the farm and his sister. He didn’t want to get involved with me, but I pushed. And so I got what I deserved.”
He stroked my hair, and for one moment, it felt as though my father was standing there. Joseph was so much like him, and the sharp pain of loss struck me all over again.
“I don’t think you can know that until you’re honest with him about your feelings, Meggie. Wouldn’t you rather know than just assume he doesn’t feel the same way?”
I sniffled. “If he did, why wouldn’t he tell me?”
Joseph rolled his eyes. “If you do, why wouldn’t you tell him? Logic, woman, logic. If the two of you feel the same way, but no one’s admitting it, you’re both going to be sorry.”
I pulled a few paper napkins from the dispenser on the table. “And just how did you get to be so smart about this kind of stuff? Weren’t you the one coming to me just a few years ago, crying about girls and love?”
He winked at me. “One, I have a wife. Two, I have a son.” His face grew serious, and he added, “And I almost screwed that all up. Every single day of my life, I’m grateful that Lindsay gave me a second chance, after I left her alone and pregnant.”
“You didn’t know she was,” I reminded him.
“No, but that’s not an excuse. Everything could’ve been bad, and it would’ve been no one’s fault but mine. Instead, I have a beautiful wife, the cutest son in the world, and a life that I absolutely love. So I may not be smart about a lot of things, but I know one thing. Love doesn’t always give you more than one chance to get it right. You’ve got to grab it and hold on tight.” He looked over my shoulder. “Okay, Sadie’s in the window, glowering. Must be getting busy in there.” He leaned over and dropped a kiss on my head. “Want me to bring you anything?”
“No, thanks.” I shook my head. “I think I’ll go lay on the sand for a little bit. Maybe go in the water. See what this vacation business is all about.”
Joseph laughed. “Okay, sis. Have fun.”
I picked up my beach bag and went down the three steps that led from the deck to the beach. The sand was hot, and I ran toward the water to cool off my feet. The ocean was just the right temperature this time of year: not too cold to swim, and not too hot to enjoy it after being in the sun.
I played in the waves for a few minutes, going in as far as my hips. My first week in the Cove had flown by in a flurry of family get-togethers and catching up with everyone in town. I realized that while I hadn’t been lying to Sam about not having friends from high school here, I did have a town full of people who loved me, who cared about how I was doing. It had been fun to hear about everything that had happened this summer an
d plans for the rest of the year, and to tell them all about teaching in Burton and how much I’d loved it.
I hadn’t heard anything from Sam. Not that I’d expected to. I’d sent Ali a text telling her I was home, and she’d responded by telling me that they all missed me already. That had been it. And maybe it was better this way, making a clean break from everyone once and for all.
After floating for a few minutes, I let the surf carry me back to the shore. Shaking water from my hair, I twisted it up and clipped it off my neck, then dried off with the towel I’d laid out in the sun. When I’d stopped dripping, I spread the towel again and laid down on my stomach, letting the sun bake my back.
I was nearly dozing when I felt the cool of a shadow blocking the sun from my legs. I stayed still, hoping whoever was standing next to me would go away.
“So this is the beach.”
I scrambled to sit up, trying to get my Wayfarers back in place over my eyes so I could squint into the brightness.
“Sam?” If Santa Claus himself had appeared on the Crystal Cove beach, I wouldn’t have been more shocked, but there he stood.
He was wearing shorts, something I’d never seen him in before. They had that crisp, new look, as though he’d just bought them. He stood with his hands on his hips, staring down at me, the same serious expression on his face that I’d grown to love so much.
“Hey, Meghan.” He crouched next to me. “Can I share your towel? Ali made me go out and buy shorts and flip-flops, but she didn’t think to get me a beach towel.”
“Oh—uh, yeah, of course.” I moved over, and he sat down next to me, his scent filling my head as his hip bumped against mine.
“This is pretty.” He gestured over the ocean and the sand. “I can see why you love it here. I wouldn’t want to leave, either.”
I licked my lips, nervous. “It’s a place, Sam. I love the people here, and yeah, it’s beautiful, but then so is Georgia. Especially certain parts of Georgia.”
“Yeah.” I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. “And sometimes even the most beautiful places don’t mean much without the right people there.”
I nodded. “Did you drive all the way to Crystal Cove to discuss scenery, Sam? Or was there something else you had in mind?”
He looked down at me and with one finger, dragged my sunglasses down my nose. “I can’t talk to you while I can’t see your eyes, Meghan.”
I tilted my head. “How come?”
He smiled, and the finger moved from my glasses to my cheek. “Because your eyes tell me everything I need to know. If I’m smart enough to look.”
“So what are they telling you now?”
The smile faded from his face. “That you’re sad. That maybe you’re a little wary about why I’m here.”
“I have been sad.” I shoved my sunglasses to the top of my head and looked out over the waves. “But I’m not wary, exactly. I’m just ... curious.”
He drew in a deep breath. “I drove down here because Ali says I’m an idiot. She says everyone can tell that I’m in love with you, but I’m the only one who can act on it. Who can tell you.” He stared into my eyes. “So that’s why I’m here. To tell you ... I love you, Meghan. I don’t want you to leave. Or more accurately, I want you to come back. I’ve been miserable without you.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. “Did Ali make you come down?”
He shook his head. “No. She only pointed out to me how unfair it was that I hadn’t been honest with you.” He shifted on the towel, and I could tell he was nervous. “I don’t want to pressure you. I just wanted you to know. So you can make an informed decision.”
I bit back the surge of joy that was rising in my chest. “Interestingly, I just had a conversation with my brother, during which time he informed me that I needed to tell you how I feel. He says I can’t be mad at you for not being open with me if I’m not telling you about my own feelings.” I glanced at Sam sideways. “Word is I haven’t been the happiest person since I got back here, either.”
A smile spread over Sam’s face. “I am always in favor of sisters listening to their brother’s advice. So you should probably tell me everything.”
I swallowed. “I broke our rule, Sam. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I fell in love with you, and I don’t want to leave you.”
Before the last word left my lips, Sam was on top of me, pressing me into the towel. His mouth angled over mine, and his tongue thrust between my lips. I hummed in pleasure as I matched his movements with my own, slipping my hands under his shirt to revel in those muscles I loved to touch.
“Don’t ever leave me again, okay?” He kissed down my neck, between my breasts. “And God, Meghan, look at this bathing suit.” He glanced up and down the beach. “What if guys saw you in this?”
I giggled, threading my hands through the hair in the back of his head. “Pretty sure they have. This is a beach, Sam. This is what we wear here.”
“Nope.” He shook his head and covered the exposed slope of my boob with his mouth. “These are for me only. Mine.” He held my chin between two fingers. “You understand? You’re mine. For always.”
I covered his hands with my own. “As long as you understand that it goes both ways.” I slid my hands down his body to grip his backside. “Mine. For always.”
Sam dropped his head against my shoulder and sighed into my hair. “It’s a deal.” He pushed up again and looked down at me, brushing a strand of hair from my cheek. “When can I take you home?”
I smiled. Home. I realized it didn’t matter where that was, because as long as Sam was there, I’d be content.
“I’d like you to meet my mom and Logan. Joseph ... oh, did you meet him already?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, and his wife, too. Nice people.” He wrapped me in his arms, dragging me onto his lap. “And I’ll meet anyone you want, but I want to get you alone, too. If we sit out here like this too long, I’m going to embarrass you. Everything shows in these shorts.”
I trailed one hand down his stomach. “Everything? I like that idea. You can’t hide anything from me.”
“Never will.” He framed my face. “Meghan, I love you. I want forever with you. I hope forever can be on the farm in Georgia, but if that doesn’t work for you, I’ll figure out something else. But you come first. Before the farm, before Ali and Bridget. It’s you and me.”
I leaned in to kiss his lips. “You are my forever, Sam. I can’t imagine living anywhere else but on the farm, with your sister and Bridge, but like you said, the where doesn’t matter. It’s you.” I smiled and laced our fingers together. “You’re the catch I won’t toss back.”
He growled low in his throat. “Better not. Because I’ll come back for you every time.”
I looked up into his face, so filled with love, and I stroked his jaw. “I think I knew from the first time I opened my eyes and looked up at you. It felt like coming home.”
He grinned down at me. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth, you know. About that first night. I did hear what you said. You looked at me, touched my face and said, ‘Oh, it’s you.’ Like you already knew me.”
I held him tight and whispered into his ear. “It is you, Sam. It’ll always be you.”
The Ultimate Play List
The Last One
Man! I Feel Like A Woman! Shania Twain
T-R-O-U-B-L-E Travis Tritt
Chicken Fried Zac Brown Band
Trouble Is Charlie Worsham
Red High Heels Kellie Pickler
Burn Jo Dee Messina
Fishin’ In The Dark Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
A Little Mud on the Tires Brad Paisley
Ticks Brad Paisley
It’s Your Love Tim MacGraw and Faith Hill
Beat This Summer Brad Paisley
This has been a crazy year. Between book events, releases, getting ready to move and not knowing where, all of my friends and book supporters have had to work extra hard just to keep up. I appreciate it so much.
What a thrill and an honor it’s been to meet so many readers this year! Whether we’ve hung out in Daytona, Charleston, Atlanta, New Orleans, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Orlando or Tampa, I’ve loved visiting with you all. Thanks for coming out and supporting me.
I’m grateful to the usual suspects for making Meghan and Sam’s book possible: Stacey, now of Champagne Formatting, who makes everything so pretty even when I’m flakey about dates; Mandie, who advises, shares, arranges promo and tells me I can do it; and Jen and everyone at PBT who just say yes when I ask for almost anything.
Amanda Long has been my de facto editor for some time now. She is insightful, wicked funny and ruthless; it’s the best combination ever in any editor. I am, I think, a better writer and a better storyteller thanks, to Amanda. And I’ve made her cry twice now, which I count as a win.
A special thank you to my sweet friend Olivia Hardin, whose books I adore, and who has been there to keep me sane. Under the rock is the coolest place to hang.
This gorgeous cover is courtesy of LP Hidalgo of BookFabulous Designs. When Stephanie and I decided to try something new, she recommended BookFabulous, and it was a terrific choice. I’m happy to have a few talented artists on my side!
I sometimes thank total strangers for their unwitting help in making a book possible, and for Meghan and Sam’s story, I send out a huge thanks to Brad Paisley and Charlie Worsham, whose songs crystallized everything for me. Country music played a big role in the writing of this book. Like Sam says, it’s real music about real people. See the play list at the end. And go listen to that music.
On the opposite end of the spectrum from total strangers is my wonderful family, who put up with what I do, with me being away from home and preoccupied with imaginary people when I am at home. I love you all, and I’m excited about our next adventure!
I really do have the best readers ever, and their enthusiasm and encouragement keep me writing. I love the messages, the notes, reviews and posts ... you all rock my world, daily.
Love in a Small Town Box Set 1 Page 24