Cal threw up his hands. “That’s because in baseball, offense is offense and defense is defense. When the team is in the field, they’re focused on preventing runs. When they’re up at bat, they’re focused on scoring. It’s sensible, orderly—and poetic.”
“Some would say boring.” I tossed back the end of my second drink.
“Some would be wrong.” Cal opened the black leather folder that contained the check, scanned the paper and reached for his wallet. I reached over and covered his hand with mine.
“Don’t worry, I got this. I’ll just charge it to my room.”
He narrowed his eyes. “You told me I owed you a drink.”
“That was just to get you in here.”
Cal sighed. “I thought you said you’d never lie to me.”
“That wasn’t a lie. That was a misdirection. And I came clean right away.”
“Hmmm. Still, you’re my date tonight.” He tugged the folder away and tucked his credit card into the top. “Next time, it’ll be your turn.”
Next time. I wasn’t sure I’d ever heard more beautiful words. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Ginger retrieved the check, ran the card and returned it with a smile. “Y’all have a good evening, you hear? Thanks for stopping in.”
We left the table and stood in the lobby just outside the bar, neither of us moving much beyond the awkward shuffling of feet that happened when two people weren’t sure what was supposed to come next.
“Well, I should head out.” Cal shoved his hands into his pants pockets.
“Don’t.” I spoke the single word, low and intense. “Don’t go. Come upstairs with me, and stay.”
For the space of a few breaths, I thought he’d refuse. I thought he’d scowl and turn around. I fully expected him to tell me I was crazy and leave me standing here alone.
But he didn’t.
Just as I was about to crack a joke to cover up how much I wanted him, he looked at me, eyes steady and full of an answering hunger.
“Okay.”
This time, the elevator ride was uneventful, probably because the car was filled with other people. When we reached my floor, Cal and I had to push and excuse ourselves to get out into the hallway. We walked around the corner to my room, where I was surprised to find that my hand was shaking a little as I inserted the key card into the lock.
I managed to get the door unlocked and pushed it open, motioning for Cal to go in ahead of me. He paused only a moment and then proceeded. I followed, flipping the lock and toeing off my shoes.
“Sorry.” I kicked them into the closet. “I seriously hate wearing dress shoes. I grew up running barefoot on a farm, and I’ve never gotten used to wearing them every day.”
Cal laughed. “That’s what I like about you, Alex. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on what makes you tick, you go and say something that takes me completely by surprise.”
I snagged his arm and tugged until he stumbled against my body. “Did you just say you like me, Cal?”
His eyes were level with mine, and I was struck again by how deep they were, rimmed with thick lashes. He stared at me, and while I couldn’t exactly read his expression, I did see sparks that were definitely encouraging.
“I did say that.” His tongue darted out and ran the perimeter of his lips. “I do like you, Alex. Sometimes you scare me, but I like you, anyway.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him why I scared him—though I had a pretty good idea of the answer—when he leaned forward and sealed his mouth over mine.
I hadn’t expected Cal to make the first move. I’d figured I’d have to tease and cajole him into letting me make it. So at first I was too surprised to respond. And then his tongue pressed against my lips, and all bets were off. I dug my fingers into his back and opened wide.
His taste was a tantalizing mix of the wine and fries he’d eaten earlier and something else, something uniquely Cal. Our tongues sparred and tangled, mine going up and over his, mapping out each inch of his mouth. I wanted to know it intimately. I wanted every part of his body to belong to me.
Cal’s hands pulled my shirt free from my pants and then went under, skin on heated skin, as he explored the muscles of my back. In turn, I busied myself with the buttons of his dark gray dress shirt, fumbling with his tie so I could reach the top ones. Once I had the silk knot loosened, I lifted it over his head and tossed it aside.
“How attached are you to this shirt?” I murmured the words against his mouth.
“It’s a Salvatore Ferragamo.” He licked the corner of my mouth. “Pretty fucking attached.”
“Got it. I’ll use the buttons.” I broke away and bent my head to focus on the task at hand, which wasn’t easy given the fact that Cal had moved his hands to the front of my pants. He palmed through the fabric, and God almighty if I didn’t think I was going to come right then, like a kid on his first go-round.
I managed to finish the buttons and tear off the shirt, letting it drop to the floor. My mouth went dry when I got an eyeful of the sexy perfection that was Cal’s chest.
“Damn, you’re pretty.” I glided my fingertips over his pecs and down to the tight abs above the waistband of his pants. “I didn’t realize you worked out.”
He lifted one shoulder. “Some, not much. I lift a little, but I’m not into bulking up.” Undoing the last button on my shirt, he sucked in a breath. “You’re not bad yourself.”
“I was a farm boy, sugar. I got used to hard work early on in life.”
“So you’re not a gym rat?” Cal’s voice was muffled against my skin as he kissed down my chest. My dick swelled, and I closed my eyes.
“Um . . . what?” I was totally distracted. “Oh. No, not really. I mean, I go about twice a month, just to ease my conscious, since I paid for a membership. I run a couple of times a week, though.”
“Yeah, you’ve got a runner’s body.” He took my mouth again, but this time, his fingers went to my nipple and pinched. In response, I sank my teeth into his bottom lip, making him groan.
“God.” Cal turned, backing me into the bed until I was forced to sit on the edge of the mattress. “I want you, Alex.”
“You got me, babe.”
“But I want more. I need . . . more.” He dropped to his knees and unbuckled my belt. I lifted my ass to let him get my pants off, kicking them and my boxers to the side.
Cal knelt between my feet, his forearms resting on my thighs. The muscles in my legs jumped with coiled tension.
“Are you nervous?” His tone was incredulous.
“Why do you find that so hard to believe?” I threaded my fingers through his black hair, letting it sift through.
He gazed up at me, his face serious. “Because you’re you. This something you do about every Saturday night, right? Another weekend, another guy. I’m just one more.”
“No.” I cupped his cheek. “I haven’t been that guy for a long time. I’ve had casual relationships. Hook-ups, sure. But not as many as you think, and no one since the day I met you.”
His expression screamed skepticism, and I hated that some other man, his asshole of an ex, had made Cal this way. I couldn’t go back and undo the damage he’d done, but I could make sure I never did anything to make him doubt me more. I could prove that trusting me didn’t make him a chump.
“I know you find that hard to believe. But it’s true. So yeah, I’ve got some nerves, because I want this to last longer than a few minutes. I want to be good for you. But mostly, I’m shaky because this is you, Cal. Because you matter. You’re too important for me to risk fucking this up.”
Something in his eyes softened, and for half a second, I saw what I’d been searching for—belief. He raised himself up slightly and pressed his lips to the center of my chest.
I closed my eyes, my heart filling with an unfamiliar tenderness. Damn. Cal had no idea how important he was to me and how much this simple touch meant.
But before I could dive too deeply into that emotion, his han
d firmly grasped my cock, and all rational thought fled. He held my gaze as he began to move up and down, pausing now and then to circle the head with his thumb.
“Oh my God, that’s incredible.” I leaned back on my hands, torn between needing to keep my eyes shut—the sensation was overwhelming—and wanting to watch him touch me. I chose the latter just in time to see him lower his mouth and take me in.
Oh, fuck. Fuck. I wracked my brain, trying to think of anything that would keep me from coming hard and fast into his warm, tight mouth. My grandmother’s corns. Shoveling manure back on the farm. The way my boss made me feel when I’d screwed up a meeting.
When I could trust that I wasn’t going to embarrass myself, I opened my legs a little wider, sat up and gripped the back of Cal’s neck. His eyes flickered up to me, but he didn’t change his pace. Instead, that talented tongue lapped at the underside of my dick as he fondled my balls. He held the base in a firm grasp, and when those fingers moved just a little at the same time that he drew his mouth up, sucking hard with hollowed cheeks, I was pretty sure my eyes rolled back in my head.
“Cal—babe—I’m going to come.”
He moaned, and the vibration of his throat was all I needed. My hips began to pump as I held his head to me, as though I was afraid he was going to pull away at the last minute. He didn’t. He took me deep, increasing the tempo and pressure until I groaned out his name, my body going into one solid spasm as I shot down his throat.
On a loud gasp, I fell back onto the bed, shaking again. I let go of Cal’s head and gripped the comforter, struggling to catch my breath. He crawled up next to me, and I vaguely noted that he was still wearing his pants.
“That was incredible. You’re amazing.” I brushed the hair out of his face. “But I see one huge problem here.”
A tiny wrinkle formed between his eyes as his forehead wrinkled. “What’s that?”
“You’re still mostly dressed. I want my hands on you, and there’s too many clothes in the way.”
A slow smile curved his lips. “I think we can solve that problem pretty easily.”
“And I think I can help.” I reached down, unbuttoning his pants and easing my hand inside, over the silky material of his boxers. “Dude. You’re wearing silk underwear?”
His cheeks went red. “Yeah. Is that a problem?”
I grinned. “Not for me. I kind of like the way they feel.” I closed my fingers over his erection, appreciating how easily my hand moved with the slippery cloth. “Yeah, I think I might be investing in some of these babies.”
Cal wriggled, pushing his trousers down his legs and off the bed. “I can hook you up.” He rolled so that he was on his back, my hand still firmly gripping his dick. I slid down a little to his flat nipples, settling my mouth on one small brown nub and sucking hard before I gave it a soft bite. His hips bucked, letting me know he liked that.
I moved to the other side and repeated the bite, at the same time picking up my rhythm on his cock. I trailed kisses down his taut stomach, licking around his navel before I arrived at my destination. Normally, I’d have tugged down the boxers and enjoyed him bare against my lips. But the silk was like second skin, and so instead, I took him into my mouth still covered. The extra friction of the material was delicious.
Groaning, Cal tilted his hips, giving me a little more of him. He was large and thick, and the feel of him in my mouth, hitting the back of my throat, was like nothing I’d ever known. I sucked a little harder and licked at the head.
“Alex.” He sounded out of breath, and I couldn’t blame him. I was getting hard again, just touching him. “Come up here. Finish me off . . . with your hand. I want your face near mine when I come.”
My heart faltered, and I was pretty sure I’d just fallen for this guy. “Okay, baby.” I replaced my mouth with my hand, sliding into his boxers, and scooted up, resting my head in my hand and propping up my elbow so I could see his eyes while I jacked him. He licked his lips and arched his neck, eyes closed, and when his mouth parted a little, I leaned over and kissed him, thrusting my tongue deep. He raked his hand into my hair, holding me close, and I picked up my speed.
“God, Alex, God—oh, don’t stop, feels so damned good—fuck me. Harder, hold me harder—yes, that’s it, right there. Oh God, oh God, oh God . . .”
He came hard and long, shouting out a long string of words I couldn’t quite decipher, even as his dick pumped out spurts over my hand and his stomach. I kissed him again, this time keeping it soft and tender until Cal’s breathing had slowed a little.
“I take it that was good?” I teased him as I pushed up to sit against the pillows.
“Yeah. Really good.” He ran a hand over his face. “God, I needed that.”
“A long time for you, too?”
“A really long time. It just hasn’t felt right.”
“I’m glad it did tonight.”
One side of his mouth quirked a little, but he didn’t answer me. After a few minutes of silence, I swung my legs off the bed and strode over to my mini-fridge, where I retrieved two bottles of water. Cracking open both lids, I handed one to Cal.
“Thanks.” He’d propped himself up, too, and took a long swig, his throat working as he swallowed. I watched, fascinated. Everything about him intrigued me, like I’d never seen a male body before.
I rolled down the comforter and slid into the sheets, enjoying the feel of the cool sheets on my skin. Nudging Cal a little, I gestured to his side of the bed. “Hey, lean up a little, so you can get under, too.”
He didn’t look at me, and I knew. I just fucking knew, even before he spoke. “Ah, thanks, but I think I better get going. It’s late and we’ve both got work tomorrow.” He reached for his pants and shook them out.
“Seriously, Cal? This is how you’re going to play this? Like this was just a way to get your rocks off, and now that I’ve scratched your itch, you’re heading home to what, polish your andirons?”
He still wasn’t meeting my eyes. “I never said this was anything different, Alex. We’re both grown-ups, both men who have needs. We helped each other out.” He stood up and fastened his pants. “I wasn’t lying when I said I like you. I still want to be your friend. And hey, if we wanted to do this every now and again, when you’re in town.”
“Bullshit, Cal.” I spoke through clenched teeth. “That’s what you’re spouting. Utter and complete bullshit.”
Cal paused, staring at me, his face inscrutable again. Then he went back to getting dressed, picking up his goddamned Ferragamo shirt and slipping his arms into the sleeves. “I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way. But I told you. I don’t want a relationship. I’m not ready to put myself into that kind situation again.”
“I’m not asking you to marry me, Cal. I’m not even saying you have to call me your boyfriend. I’m asking you to spend the night here with me. Sleep with me.”
“Yeah? That’s it?” He grabbed his tie off the chair where it’d landed. “That’s all? Okay, say I do. I sleep over tonight. We go to brunch tomorrow. We start dating. How’s that going to work? You live in Atlanta. I live here. You’re here, what, every four weeks or so? So we’re going to have a committed relationship while we live across the state from each other? That’s suicide. Pretty soon you’re going to get pissed that I’m not around when you want me, and I’m going to be hurt when you can’t get here as much as I’d like. Then we won’t even end up friends. We’ll hate each other.”
I rolled my eyes. “Way to embrace the positive, buddy. You’re a real optimist.”
“No, I’m a realist. I’m honest with myself enough to know I can’t do this.” He pointed to me and then to himself. “Not when we don’t live in the same town. Not when I’m not sure I can handle putting myself out there. Making myself vulnerable again.” He finished buttoning his shirt and shoved it into the waistband of his pants. “I’m sorry if you don’t like that, but that’s how it is.”
“So that’s it? We go back to being friends, only now we
add the title of ‘occasional fuck buddies’ to our marquee? Nice, Cal. That’s very European of you.”
“I’m sorry.” He jammed his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor. “That’s how it’s got to be.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t agree. So you can go on with your neat and tidy little life, Cal, but leave me out of it. When you’re ready to man up and admit how you really feel about me and acknowledge the fact that I’m falling for you—then you give me a call. Until then, don’t bother. I’m not here to be your convenience lover.”
He turned, hesitating with his hand on the doorknob. I thought he might say something else, relent, change his mind and come back to bed.
But he turned the knob and pulled open the door, tossing words over his shoulder as he walked away.
“Good-bye, Alex.”
For three months, I didn’t hear from Cal. I didn’t see him. I didn’t text, I didn’t call, and when I had to be in Atlanta, I didn’t stop by the gallery. I started spending more time in Burton instead of getting to Savannah early or staying later, and when I was in town, I asked our travel admin to book my room at the Hilton instead of the Hyatt.
And I was thoroughly miserable.
I put on a good show, giving Ali, Flynn and Meghan vague and teasing answers when they pushed me for info on my secret boyfriend. I was glad I’d never told them his name; they’d guessed early on that I was seeing someone in Savannah, but they didn’t know who he was. I was past master at redirecting, and since they were all crazy in love and preoccupied with their own lives—Ali and Flynn were planning their wedding and then their move to New York, and Meghan, having just graduated from college and gotten engaged to Sam Reynolds, was floating around Burton on a perpetual cloud—it was easy to distract them.
And even though the big conference I’d been planning in Savannah was getting closer, I managed to assign other people more of the on-the-ground work, pleading the need to oversee it all from my desk in Atlanta. As a matter of fact, I was able to stay safely at home for six weeks, and I probably would’ve made it longer if it wasn’t for Ali and Flynn’s wedding.
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