“Well then, we better get back and get your truck ready for the return trip,” Dave said.
The next morning, we all helped load the Doc in his truck that we’d readied the night before, and the four of us in the Gray Ghost, and left. The Doc would continue down Highway 287 for his return trip and we would go into Laramie and do some shopping.
When we arrived at the Highway 287 turn, we all stopped and got out and said our goodbyes. As the Doc opened his truck’s door, he stopped and turned and looked at all of us and gave a little wave, jumped in, and headed south.
“Why am I relieved he’s gone?” Julia asked.
No one said a word.
Chapter 2: Squirt Guns?
Laramie was as quiet as a ghost town. Which we supposed it was now. We saw a few Zs limping around and decided to leave them alone until we could test our own saltwater theories.
It was the strangest thing when we split off from the doc, he going down Highway 287 and the foursome heading for Laramie that we all had a collective sigh of relief. All four of us were of the same mind – the guy was a nut case – certifiable.
When the guy began writing his notes, we could have set off a grenade behind him and he, in all likelihood, would have continued writing as if nothing had happened. He was so engrossed in getting his observations and thoughts down on paper nothing else mattered.
We, as a team, were exceptionally glad he was gone. We discussed it at length on the way to the bulk store, and upon arrival, nonchalantly walked up to the front doors as if on holiday.
As I unlocked the place, Dave commented, “You realize what we just did?”
The three of us looked at him then each other and shook our heads to the negative.
“We just hopped out of the truck without pausing to look around first,” he deadpanned.
The three of us quickly did a scan of the area and, thank the Lord, didn’t see a thing.
“Why did you scare us like that?” Julia chided him.
“I thought it strange, that’s all,” he said. “We’ve all been stopping at doors before going out for over two years now and for some reason, DOC, we didn’t this time. We were preoccupied with DOC! We cannot afford to do that, people.”
“He’s right, you know,” Ruth said submissively.
“Yeah, he is…I hate it when he is,” I said, quietly.
“Look, I’m just as much at fault as you three,” he came back with. “WE got out of the truck like that. WE cannot afford to do that again you know what I mean?”
The three of us shook our heads in agreement. After a moment, I said, “Come on let’s get us some squirt guns.”
Together we entered the place and sauntered back to the toy section. We found a large selection and we were like kids at Christmas. Julia went back to the front of the store and got a cart. We would take a multitude of the toys and all the balloons to both homes.
Ruth, left the group and getting another cart, went to the grocery section and got all the sea salt and regular iodized salt she could find. We’d used a teaspoon of salt in the balloons when we tested the theory out with the doc. We wondered how much it would take and had decided to use the eighth of a teaspoon, quarter, half, and three-quarter teaspoons to quantify our experimentation. Of course, we would be in the back of the truck with real guns while all the throwing and squirting was going on.
We had gathered everything we needed for our ‘experiments’, so turned for the entrance. Ruth said, “We need anything else while we’re here?”
As if on cue, we stopped mid-stride in the aisleway to think. If a crowd had been in the store, we would have been the show for the day. The event was comical to all of us and we began laughing. The levity was refreshing.
None of us could think of anything else we needed so we turned for the door and the truck. Once there, we decided to use a few bottles of our water, emptying them into one of the guns and add some sea salt. Then we would see what we would see.
Drive-by Zombie shooting with a squirt gun. Yep. I drove and prowled the back roads and alleyways of Laramie. Dave, Julia, and Ruth rode shotgun…s. Two with M4s and one with the squirter – sounds like a gangster movie line. Only thing missing was Mister James Cagney.
Our first target came just past high noon – now in a western movie… Dave had the squirt gun and I honked the horn, luring the creature to the truck. As usual, it made the guttural, rasping sound thinking it was about to get a meal.
The thing was about twenty-five feet out when Dave gave it a shot with the squirt gun. The stream was short, making a soaking, dark line of fluid down the thing’s shirt. Soaking through, the saltwater hit, and the creature began raking its hand across its chest. I believe, if the thing could have screamed, it would have. Dave raised his aim and fired again, the stream hitting the creature squarely in the face, residue mist spraying outward. The creature batted its face, staggering back, struggling, then dropped. It squirmed for nearly a half-minute then stilled. It no longer moved.
Dave and Julia jumped down and going over to the thing, gave it a poke or two with a spear. It didn’t budge. Julia covered Dave with her M4 while he donned gloves, knelt, and checked the beast. It was indeed dead. He looked up smiling and said, “Man, was that quiet. I’m gonna like this.”
Deputy and Missus Malone returned to the truck bed and she said, “Lets find some more,” and promptly banged twice on the cab roof. I shook my head, smiling, put the truck in gear and continued the hunt.
It was past five in the evening when we decided to go home and fix some dinner. I needed another pain pill and, if I could sneak them in, a few health shots of good scotch. The girls decided we’d have pork chops, rice, and peas with green pepper, one of my favorite meals.
The count for the afternoon was humans twelve, zombies zip. The saltwater squirt gun worked like a champ, and we never fired a shot! Our experimentation was a resounding success, however, none of us wanted to sit down somewhere, pull out our notebooks and pencils and write for the rest of the night. All of us were hungry so that was the next order of business.
We pulled into the circle drive at Dave and Julia’s place, left the truck in the drive, going inside. Dave went straight to the liquor cabinet, the girls to the kitchen and I dove for the couch. Not really, I eased myself down onto the couch and leaning back, tried to relax all my muscles. I took several breaths, as deep as I could handle, and felt better.
Dave nudged and startled me, smiled, and handed me a tumbler of scotch. I took a sip and felt the liquid go down. Dave sat in the recliner and hitting a button on a remote, soft, classical music began. This was nice; scotch, relaxing music and a couch that wasn’t bouncing all over a highway somewhere in the wilds of Wyoming. My rib thought I’d gone to heaven. Nap time.
Nap…yeah, right. Ruth woke me after forty minutes of snoozing and said supper was ready. She and Dave helped me up and along with my tumbler of scotch, went into the kitchen. Julia and Ruth had prepared the pork chop dinner and the aroma was splendid. After prayer, we ate in silence, all of us tired with both the stress from the doctor and then Z hunting.
We sat, looking at each other and Julia said, “That guy couldn’t have been for real. Could he?”
“I don’t know, but I felt something was wrong with him,” Ruth said to her. “He said there were children in their underground complex, but he was so casual and seemingly uncaring for them. They’re there, but to him it appeared like, ‘so what’.”
“You know, now that you say that, I remember him being somewhat unconcerned about them,” I said. “He was so…unemotional when he said he was going to be the one telling them their parents were dead, like it was no big deal, an inconvenience.”
“Well, he’s gone,” from Dave, “and I’m full, I have scotch and I’m tired. That’s a perfect recipe for bed if you ask me. See all of you in the morning,” and he got up and left for their bedroom.
“I suppose I’m not invited?” Julia said a little left out.
“I heard tha
t,” he yelled back.
She was smiling as she got up to follow Dave to bed.
“I’m outta here myself,” I said, getting up with a grimace.
“How much scotch have you had?” Ruth asked, hands on her hips.
“’Bout a half-shot, why?” I answered.
“Take a pain pill, then. You should be ok,” she said.
“Oh, okay, you coming?”
“I’ll be along in a few - need to clean the kitchen a bit. I’ll be there in a sec.”
I turned and went to the little bathroom in the bedroom, took a pain pill, laid down and didn’t’ even know Ruth came to bed. I slept soundly.
Dave woke very early and was not able to figure out why. He didn’t know if something, a sound or what, woke him. He didn’t turn any lights on and tried his best not to make noise. He did, however, get and rack a round into his suppressed nine-millimeter handgun. He slowly crept down the stairs into the front room and peeked through the curtain and didn’t see a thing.
He lifted from looking out wondering what had awakened him, when he heard a slight noise from the back of the house. Sam had come out of our room, crept up to Dave and with her head held low, emitted a slow, deep growl while looking towards the rear of the house. Dave reached down, gave her a pat and motioned for her to go ahead. She just looked at him then back to the rear of the house.
Dave whispered, “Okay, I’ll go first.”
Together they crept towards the kitchen. Dave hesitated before going in, concentrating on listening. He didn’t hear a thing. Sam, on the other hand, continued forward and stopped by the table, once again giving that low growl.
Dave, with his weapon up, slowly crept into the kitchen, sweeping the barrel to the left towards the back door. That’s when he heard it, a scraping, scratching sound coming from the door. He assumed a Z was attempting to gain access to the house.
As a Deputy Sheriff, they always taught never to assume. He stepped over to the door and slowly turned the knob, planning to throw open the door and shooting the thing.
Sam thought not. She gave a small, squeaky peal as she began backing out of the kitchen. Dave looked back at her and reset the doorknob, and said, “What’s the matter girl?”
She continued backing out of the kitchen. Dave decided to look out the kitchen window to see if he could identify just what was out back. He had to get up on the sink and peeked out the window after parting the curtains.
Bear! It was a black bear. Dave turned his head, looked at Sam and said, “Good dog…very good dog.”
He got down off the sink, tiptoed into the front room and saw Ruth’s .308 leaning against the front door. He set his nine-millimeter on an end table, got her rifle, and worked the bolt, loading the firearm.
He turned around and I was standing there. The poor man almost had the big one right then, and I couldn’t help but laugh – and loudly I’m afraid, loud enough to wake Ruth. She came out of the room, groggily, and asked, “What’s going on?”
“Dave just had a heart attack,” I told her still snickering.
“Dude, be quiet,” he suddenly said very seriously.
“What, we have Zs to worry about?” Ruth asked.
“No, there’s a bear out back trying to get in the kitchen door,” Dave answered.
“A what?” I asked.
“A black bear. I thought it was a Z trying to get in. Sam, our great mother hen, thought it a bad idea for me to open the back door. She cried a little, squeaky like noise and began backing out of the kitchen, so I took the hint and looked out the back, kitchen window. Man, was I surprised!”
“You’re not kidding, are you?” Ruth asked. “We’re accosted every day from flesh-eating zombies and now we have to deal with a hungry bear trying to eat us, too? What else is going to come after us for dinner?”
“Nope. I was going to go shoot the thing when Zombie-man here, scared the crap outta me.”
I started to laugh again. Ruth gave me a smack on the arm and said, “Quiet. We need to go back there and get it?” she asked, looking at Dave.
“May be gone after me screaming and him laughing,” he said pointing at me.
“Let’s go look,” Ruth said, turning for the kitchen.
Dave immediately followed and went for the door as she went for the window. I followed at a healthy distance and stood in the doorway. She looked out of the window then looked back at Dave, shrugged her shoulders, and shook her head to the negative.
Dave looked at me and I gave him a shrug of my shoulders and the ‘I don’t know what to do’ look. “I never dealt with a bear before…not even at my place up in the mountains.”
“Ruth, I’m going to kick the door. Watch outside and see if you can see anything.”
“Okay. I’m ready.”
Dave kicked the door, twice.
“It’s going north around the house!” Ruth yelled.
I just got out of the way as Dave ran past going warp nine, heading for the front door. He threw it open and stepped out on the front porch and I saw him throw the .308 up to his shoulder and heard the audible click of the safety thrown. I just did get my fingers in my ears when the rifle fired. Ruth wasn’t so lucky, and I’m sure, had ringing ears for a while afterwards. She was able to get her fingers in her ears for the second shot as she heard Dave racking another round in.
She and I were standing there with our fingers in our ears as Julia, came flying down the stairs with her M4. “What’s happening?” she yelled out.
I nodded my head towards the door, keeping my ears plugged, and she went that way, figuring Dave was out front shooting at Zs. He was standing down the steps with the rifle up and pointing to the west. She brought her weapon up and was scanning the area looking for Zs and said to him, “Which way are you shooting…where are they?”
He lowered his rifle and looking at her said, “A bear…I shot at a black bear, twice. I think I hit it both times, but the thing still ran up the hill to the west, towards Doug’s place.”
“A bear?” she asked lowering her M4 with a skeptical look.
“I swear,” Dave answered holding up three fingers in the Boy Scout’s salute. He just as quickly crossed his heart.
I chimed in with, “Did you hit him?”
“Yeah, for sure once, but I think both times,” he answered.
“And now he’s heading to our house,” Ruth said annoyed.
“Once its daylight, I can track him and knock him down for good. Bear steaks tonight, anyone?” Dave joked.
“Yuk,” Julia said with a scowl.
“I’m game…get it?” I said with a chuckle.
Dave began to laugh as he got it right away. Ruth was next for the light to come on and joined Dave, laughing. I started and had to hold my side as laughing was still uncomfortable. Julia stood there with that scowl, looking at all three of us and said, “You’re all despicable,” turned and stormed back into the house.
“Put on the coffee, babe,” Dave yelled to her back. The door slammed. “Guess it’s the doghouse for me tonight.”
“Don’t take it too badly,” I said. “It could be worse.”
“How’ zat?” Dave asked with a quizzical look.
“What if the bear gets you first?”
The blank look he gave me said he hadn’t thought of that yet. He turned to the west and I could see his Adam’s apple bob a few times. He looked back at Ruth and me and said, “Man, don’t even think about something like that.”
The three of us went inside and could smell the coffee brewing so we turned for the kitchen. Julia was looking out the back window. Ruth and I sat down at the table.
Dave asked Julia, “See anything interesting out there?”
“Yes, we have a few Zs coming in – looks like they were attracted to the noise,” she answered. “There must be a break in the fence somewhere by the creek. Maybe the bear did it.”
“How many,” I asked her.
“I can see six, clearly, but may be more back in the trees and dow
n towards the other house, because their coming from both areas.”
“That means possibly more than one break in the fencing,” I said. “We’ll have to check that at first light and repair any gaps we find.”
“I have the ATV you gave us set up to do fence repair,” Dave said. “After the bear, we’ll do the fence. First thing, though, are the Zs. We need to nip that in the bud now. Julia; Ruth; you both need to suit up and weapon up.”
The ladies left the kitchen to go dress and get their weapons, and I asked Ruth to get my suppressed nine-millimeter if she would. I may not be able to use a rifle or shotgun yet, but I could still handle a handgun well enough.
Dave and I talked about the fence while they were gone. He had more than enough supplies to repair the fencing. I told him I would go along. I could drive the ATV and cover with my nine while he checked the fence line. He argued, but I interrupted him saying I needed to get out for some air and move around a little.
Julia was back first and poured all of us a mug of the fresh-perked coffee. Ruth came in then, and we all took a sip of the brew first, before going out to do battle with Zs and bears. What a life we were having…if it wasn’t one thing, it was another as far as danger went. Last night when we went to bed, all we worried about from a danger standpoint were zombies trying to eat us. Now bears. There were mountain lions, wolves, and grizzly bears in Wyoming. Have they recovered enough already to become a danger? What would be next?
We all decided we could use some air, so we all got battle rattled, well, I only got a few grenades and my nine-millimeter and forty-five, and since the sunlight was perking up in the east left the house, out the front door.
Dave had his penlight and using that found the blood trail. Dave led the way with Julia following, me, then Ruth bringing up the rear and covering our six. The four of us kept our heads on a swivel, watching both for a wounded black bear and for Zs.
I'm Tired of Zombies | Book 2 | Full Scale War Page 6