It warmed Heidi’s heart to see how sweet both of the girls were. If that’s how good motherhood was, she’d burst with happiness. "That's true. I must stop crying I don't want Mammi to see me so upset."
"We won't tell her you've been crying."
“Good girl, Molly,” Derek said.
"Denke," Heidi said.
The younger girl, Jessica, Heidi now knew, stepped forward and put her fingers on the sides of her mother's lips and pushed them up into a smile. "We didn't even know him and we miss him too even though we were small when he died."
"I don't even remember him," Molly said.
From the kitchen, Heidi's mother called out, "Have you two finished setting the table?"
"Jah, Mammi," they chorused before they moved back into the kitchen.
Heidi held onto Molly’s handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.
Throughout the meal, Derek held the sleeping baby and managed to eat the meal one handed.
"I've hardly ever seen him awake," Heidi’s mother said.
Derek looked down at him. "He's due to wake up soon."
"Is he sleeping through the night yet, Heidi?"
Heidi didn't know the answer to that, but she recalled that Derek said he had been. "Sometimes." She was relieved when Derek went on to explain that in the last week he had slept through the night at least four times.
"Are we going to make cookies again this Christmas, Mamm?"
"Molly, what have I told you about talking at the table? Children are to be seen and not heard at the dinner table. You can speak if you are spoken to."
Heidi smiled, remembering Mamm’s strict rules.
"That's something we can talk about another time, Molly," she said to soften her mother's harsh response.
She was glad she was sitting directly beside Mamm because she didn't want her mother to see her eyes and know she'd been crying. The way everyone was acting around her, she was sure they thought she had the baby blues. It was hard to be thrust into motherhood at the deep end. If she stayed in this life, how was she going to be an instant mother to these two older children and the young baby?
After dinner, Heidi tried to help her mother clean up and wash the dishes, but she wouldn’t hear of it. “Young mudders need their sleep. I don’t have anything better to do. The washing up isn't keeping me from anything.”
“Denke, Mamm. Are you sure?”
“Jah, go home and get a good night’s sleep.”
Heidi leaned in and hugged her mother. “Denke for looking after the girls today.”
“You must learn to look after yourself. You have to be well to look after your family.”
Heidi nodded. “I know.”
* * *
Once they were back home, it was bedtime for the girls.
“Mamm, we’re not tired and there’s no school tomorrow.”
“Molly, you must stop arguing.”
“Mamm’s right. You still have to go to bed, school or no school.”
“Can we have one horsey ride, Dat?”
Heidi looked over at Derek and smiled.
“Sit on the couch and watch, Mamm,” Jessica said.
It was then that Heidi realized what the game was about. She sat on the couch, and then Derek said, “One ride each and then it’s off to bed for both of you. No coming down for a drink of water and no coming back down to say good night three times, okay?”
When both girls nodded, Derek got down on all fours and whinnied like a horse. The girls were delighted and broke out into shrieks of giggles. Then he pounded his pretend hoof on the floor and snorted.
“You go first, Jessica,” Molly said pushing her sister forward.
“I’m scared of the wild horse,” said Jessica. “What if he bites?”
Derek showed his teeth and continued to pound the ground.
Molly pushed Jessica forward again, and she jumped onto her father’s back. Once she was on properly, he galloped back and forth in front of the fire and then he reared up and she slid off.
Heidi loved the way Derek was playing with the girls and being silly. Then Molly ran and jumped on his back when he was still on all fours. He reared up and Molly managed to hang on.
Molly patted him on his neck. “It’s okay, horsey. I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Derek sidestepped and whinnied again while Jessica shrieked with delight.
“Hang on, Molly,” Jessica said.
Then Derek took her once around the living room and stopped back in front of Heidi.
“More, more,” Molly said giggling.
“That’s it for tonight,” Derek said.
“Nee, more,” Molly said.
“That’s it,” he said firmly.
Molly slid off. “Nice, horse. Here’s a carrot for being so good.”
Jessica stepped up and held out her hand too. “And I’ve got a lump of sugar for you.”
Derek pretended to eat off their hands.
“That’s it. Off to bed with you,” Heidi said. “The horse needs to go to sleep as well.”
Derek stood up and scooped the girls up, one in each arm and carried them up the stairs. Heidi pulled the crocheted blanket off the back of the couch, spread it over herself and hugged it. The bond with her girls was immediate and that was something she hadn’t expected. She hadn’t needed to worry about not fitting in with them. More and more, Derek was proving to be the perfect man and she'd fallen even more in love with him when she saw him with their children.
Chapter 7
Tuesday, December 19
Heidi woke up the next morning and looked around. She was still in the Amish home with her new and instant family. Derek appeared in the room, startling her a little. He had on his hat and coat.
"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye." He walked closer, leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.
"I just woke."
He glanced over at the baby. "It's good to see that Michael’s sleeping so much at night now."
She sat up and stretched her arms above her head. "Jah, it's good to get a full night’s sleep for a change."
Derek smiled at her. "I'll see you this afternoon."
"Bye."
He walked out and then Heidi was filled with fear. How would she cope on her own with three young children? She’d looked after young children before, but it was many years ago, back before she’d left the community, and she didn't have the responsibility of being the mother then. Heidi stayed in bed thinking and worrying, until she heard cooing sounds coming from the crib. She walked over to Michael and looked in; she was sure he was smiling at her. "Good morning, young Michael." She lifted him up and kissed him on the top of his nearly bald head. "Let's change your diaper and then I'll give you some breakfast. Would you like that?"
When she was sitting down in the living room and feeding him his bottle, she heard footsteps hurrying down the stairs. Both girls ran to her and then started kissing Michael and trying to hug him. With their kapps off, their light brown hair fell down to their waists. Their long-sleeved nightdresses made them look very old-fashioned.
"I'll make you breakfast in a minute. As soon as Michael finishes his bottle. Sit by the fire to keep warm."
"Can I give him his bottle if I sit up straight?" Molly asked.
"Not right now. Maybe later."
"Why not now?" she asked.
"Nee. Because I say so."
"Has Dat gone to work already?" Molly asked next.
"Jah."
"What does he have to work for?" Jessica asked.
"He has to help your onkel in his store for Christmas because they’re very busy with everyone buying Christmas presents."
“What are we getting Dat this year?" asked Molly.
She bit her lip. She hadn’t even thought about presents. Back home she only gave out bonuses at Christmas time. "What would you girls like to give him?"
Molly shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know.”
“Let's go shopping and find something spe
cial," Jessica said.
"Maybe." Heidi said, figuring she’d have to do something.
"Dat's got the buggy, Mamm," Molly reminded her.
"That’s true. Maybe we can take it tomorrow if we wake up very early. We can take Dat to the store and collect him at the store when he finishes. That way, we can use the buggy."
Molly cheered. "I want to get Dat a special present."
"Me too," Jessica said.
Heidi smiled at the two of them. "We should do that tomorrow, then." Heidi looked at Michael and when she saw he was asleep, she pulled the bottle out of his mouth and placed him in his downstairs crib. "Okay, breakfast time.”
The girls followed her to the kitchen where she found eggs along with half a loaf of bread. She made them the favorite breakfast Mamm used to make for her when she was a child—bread slices soaked in eggs beaten with a little milk and then fried until they were golden brown. Her mother had called it French toast.
The girls loved it. After breakfast was done, Heidi said to the girls, "Get dressed and then put your coats on. Once you’ve done that, we’ll have a look in the barn.”
"What for?" Jessica asked.
"Just because I want to have a look, that's why. Must you always ask questions?"
"I’m only little, and that's how I learn things."
“Let’s go, Jessica,” Molly pulled her sister by the sleeve. "I'll help you with your hair."
They were downstairs a few minutes later. “Gut. Now, Molly, put your coat on and then help your schweschder put hers on."
“I can do it by myself,” Jessica said.
* * *
While Heidi pulled on her coat, she watched the young girls put theirs on. "See what you can do when you try?"
“I’ve always been able to dress myself,” Jessica said. “I’m not a boppli.”
Jessica’s words told Heidi she was treating her as though she were younger.
"Do we need to do them up?" Molly asked.
"Nee. That should be fine. We’re just going to have a quick look around the barn."
"What are we looking for?" Molly asked.
"Nothing in particular. I just want to see what’s there in case it needs cleaning or something like that." Heidi had a last look at the baby, who was still fast asleep and then headed out to the barn. "Both of you stay by me. Don't go running off anywhere and don’t touch anything."
"We won't, Mamm."
"Nee, we won't, Mamm," Jessica echoed.
Heidi pushed the door the barn open and instead of seeing a workshop bench stuck in one corner, the whole left-hand side of the barn was a separate room that had been turned into a workshop. It was separated from the rest of the barn by a wall with two large picture windows and a door. "Your vadder went to a lot of trouble to do this." Heidi walked through the doorway with them. "Now neither of you touch anything," she repeated as she stepped backward staring at them.
"We won't, Mamm."
When Heidi turned back around, she knocked a tool off the workbench. That sent both girls into squealing giggles.
“You told us not to touch anything, Mamm, and then you dropped something.”
Heidi leaned over and picked up the metal tool. “I forgot to tell myself.” She looked back at the girls as she put the tool back where it had been. "On second thought, both of you just stay there by the door." She left them at the door while she looked at the pieces Derek was working on. She picked up a small wheel that had been fashioned from wood and marveled at the intricate workmanship.
All manner of tools hung neatly on the wall, graded into different sizes. Shelves of toys filled one end of the workshop. She wondered how he’d found the time to make so many. Had he neglected his family to do it? Then she realized that this must've been his full-time job. Maybe that's what he did for a living. She didn't really know.
When she turned to leave, the girls were nowhere to be seen. She turned around to close the door behind her and then she saw Jessica spinning in circles while Molly was playing in the sawdust.
“Let’s go,” Heidi said. While she walked to the main barn door, she heard Molly whispering, and she stopped still to try and hear what her daughter said.
“Throw the sawdust around.” When Jessica said no, Molly urged her. “Go on. It’ll be fun.”
Before Heidi even turned around, Jessica was throwing handfuls of sawdust everywhere.
"I heard that, Molly. Stop it, Jessica."
Both girls immediately stood to attention.
"Can't you do what you’re told?" She looked from one to the other with a stern face of disapproval.
"We just wanted to play," Jessica said.
“You can play in the house where you won’t make a mess.”
She then closed the double doors of the barn. Once she had done that, both girls ran to the front door of the house. “Sit by the fire and once you’re warmed up, how about we make some cookies?"
The two girls squealed with delight. "Can I help too?" asked Jessica.
"Of course you can. The three of us can make the cookies.”
“We’re warm now,” Jessica said.
The two girls ran ahead of her into the kitchen and when she arrived there, Molly was pulling out a box from the cupboard. She overheard Molly say, “Throw the recipe cards on the floor.”
"What are you doing?” Heidi said.
“Getting the cookie recipes."
"No need. I have a recipe in my head."
"How can you have a recipe in your head?" Jessica screwed up her face.
Heidi laughed. "It's memorized in my head." She tapped her forehead.
"You've remembered the whole recipe?" Molly asked.
"That's right. I heard what you said, Molly, and it’s not nice to try getting your schweschder into trouble.”
“I wasn’t.”
“There is no use denying it. I heard what you said.”
“Sorry, Mamm.”
“Okay, I forgive you, but don’t do it again because you wouldn't like someone to do that to you, would you?”
“Nee, Mamm.”
“Good. Now let’s forget this happened and move on.”
Molly nodded.
“We’ll need sugar, butter, milk …” As she said the ingredients, the girls grabbed them and put them on the table. That saved Heidi having to look for them. "Now what about our cookie cutters?"
"Can we use the special star ones?" Jessica asked.
"Of course we can. Those ones are specially for Christmas."
Jessica rummaged around the bottom drawer until Molly pushed her out of the way.
"There it is." Molly plucked out a star cookie cutter and gave it to Jessica and Jessica held it up in the air.
"Here it is," Jessica said, her eyes sparkling.
"Excellent! That was very nice of you to hand it to Jessica, Molly. Will we make all our cookies in star shapes?"
The girls nodded. “They taste better that way," Molly said with a smile from ear-to-ear.
Heidi had no idea how she remembered the recipe from Agnes’s diary, but she recalled it in detail down to the last measurement.
Cookies.
Ingredients.
8 ounces of butter
1 1/4 cups of icing sugar or confectioners' sugar
2 teaspoons of vanilla extract
2 cups of plain flour
1/2 cup of rice flour and
1/3 cup of cornflour (cornstarch)
2 tablespoons full of milk
Method:
Beat butter, sifted icing sugar and extract in large bowl until pale and fluffy. Stir in combined sifted flours into batches then add milk until mixed well.
Divide mixture into half.
Knead each half on a floured surface until smooth.
Shape each half into a ball and keep them loosely covered in a cool place until firm, about an hour.
Preheat oven to medium heat.
Grease the oven trays.
Roll out one ball of dough until ¼ inch thick.
Cut shapes as desired with cookie cutters.
Place on trays one inch apart.
Repeat this process with the second ball of dough.
Collect dough scraps, shape into a ball, roll out and cut out more cookies.
Bake cookies for 8-12 minutes or until golden brown.
Stand on trays for 5 minutes before removing from the oven tray to a tea towel or paper for further cooling.
Store in a tightly-sealed container.
Heidi taught the girls how to roll out the cookie dough with a floured wooden rolling pin. The two girls then took it in turns, cutting out the stars and placing them on the baking trays while the oven warmed. Heidi sat down on a chair looking around the kitchen while the girls cut the dough. The kitchen was a third of the size of her kitchen back in New York. Here, there were none of the modern conveniences such as dishwasher or food processor.
“All done, Mamm.”
Heidi stood. “Ah, there’s some left.” She pulled the dough leftovers together and they were able to cut out three more star cookies. "Now we put the tray into a moderately heated oven. Not too high or they’ll burn, just high enough so they'll bake nicely."
"How long until we can eat some?" Jessica asked.
Heidi giggled. “That’s the most important question, but do you think we should leave these for Christmas?” When she saw the girl’s sad faces, she changed her mind. "Maybe you can have two each since you worked so hard to make them, and we'll put the rest away until Christmas Day."
Jessica clapped her hands while Molly grinned and nodded.
“That’s what we’ll do, then.” Usually Heidi never cooked, but if she had, she would’ve used the timer on her iPhone. It was strange to be back in a kitchen where there wasn't even a stove timer. "See that clock?” She pointed to the small clock next to the stove. “When it’s a quarter past, we have to get the cookies out. They'll be done by then."
"Now what?" Jessica asked.
"The washing up, of course. You can wash all that flour and dough off your hands first."
"Do we have to do the washing up?" Molly whined.
"It's all part of cooking.”
"It's not cooking though, it's washing up," Jessica said.
In Time for an Amish Christmas Page 6