by Eden Maguire
'Later!' Hal insists.
Outside in the white-out world we hear a motorbike roar into life. Hovering in the dark roof space of The Wonderful World of Wood I wwatc 1S2
the scene play out then look at Phoenix's troubled face.
'How do you feel?' I ask him, trying hard to imagine how I would react right now in his shoes.
He doesn't answer, just hold up his hand to ask me not to speak and let the scene play out.
'Leave it to me I'l get Zak!' Nathan argues it out with Oscar, keeping his injured hand pressed to his chest. His baby face is flushed with shame. 'No one walks away from this not Zak Rohr, not Brandon, nobody!'
The journey back to the present hurts just as much as travel ing into the past. Every muscle is twisted, every joint feels like it's being wrenched apart. You enter the vortex and it spins you so fast, so hard that your brain rattles inside your skul . Your angel wings contract, shrivel and vanish into two red-hot arrows of pain lodged in your shoulder blades.
Without that point of light in the far distance, you would give up the act of breathing, let go of your hold on life.
But I did it I travel ed beside Phoenix and Dean and held on. The light opened up at last into a gentle halo surrounding us, lowering us gently to earth.
'So now we know,' Dean told Iceman, who stood waiting for us in the barn entrance. 'There was a ful -on feud between the Thornes and the Rohrs.
Those guys were at war.'
I ought to have been glad to have the evidence, but the main feeling was fear.
'How are you doing now?' I asked Phoenix.
He stood exhausted in the shadow of the barn, his supernatural energies drained and at an al -time low. His breathing was shal ow, his beautiful, clear eyes dul . 'I'm doing good,' he lied.
Iceman came across, slung Phoenix's arm around his shoulder and helped him into the barn, where he sat him on the steps. Dean and I fol owed. I crouched beside Phoenix and stroked his hand. 'You need to rest,' I whispered, trying to ease the ache that lingered beneath my shoulder blades.
'And think,' Dean urged. His face had the steadfast, solemn, stony look? 13 guess it was the responsibility of becoming overlord the weight of steering the Beautiful Dead's eternal future. 'Try to remember - did this incident at the warehouse ever come up between you and your brothers? Is it something
you were aware of?'
Phoenix let his head hang low. 'I don't remember exactly.' There was a pause then Dean said, 'I need the truth.'
As always, Phoenix recognized that he couldn't deceive his overlord. 'Maybe Brandon ... one time, he might have mentioned it.'
'Good. And did he ask you to watch out for Zak?'
'Again, it's not clear. But yeah, I guess.'
This was so not like Phoenix that I asked Dean to hold back. 'He's exhausted. He can't take any more questions.'
Nodding abruptly, Dean eased me back for a consultation. 'This sure looks like a motive,' he said. 'Nathan is the kind of kid to keep hold of a grudge and let it fester.'
'Until it drives him crazy,' I agreed.
'Pretty soon he would be out there looking for payback. And in his devious brain, harming Phoenix and making the whole Rohr family suffer for ever would be the ideal way to do it.'
'It worked,' I said flatly, thinking of the twelve months of hel Nathan had put Sharon, Michael, Brandon and Zak through.
'So that's it - we think we have the answer.' Iceman was at the door, looking up at the mountains and watching the sun sink until only a rim of molten gold lay on the black horizon. 'Nathan Thorne sees the scene at the gas station as a trigger for revenge. He jumps at the chance of striking back at Brandon, and if that's not enough, he pul s a knife and stabs his brother.'
Out of the months of chaos and doubt came a simple, solid solution. It
matched my gut feeling - Nathan Thorne was guilty. He kil ed Phoenix for
revenge.
But Iceman, always in the background, always reliable, turned back
towards us. 'It doesn't feel like the end,' he told the overlord. 'I stil think there's more.'
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Maybe it's because Dean had been a cop that he listened to Iceman. It was the investigator in him, the professional who checks and double-checks his facts.
No jury would convict Nathan on the evidence we have,' he agreed. We'd moved Phoenix from the barn to the house, put logs on the fire and lit the oil lamps. I was watching his every move, fol owing every breath he took. 'A strong motive and a history of violence between the Rohrs and the Thornes doesn't automatical y mean a guilty verdict.'
'But you heard the threat. Nathan said no one walks away! That means
he was planning to kil them.' I was against Iceman. I needed what we'd
seen to be enough.
'But he didn't say Phoenix's name,' Dean reminded me. 'Only Brandon and Zak. We didn't get exactly what we needed.'
'So we go back again,' I urged. 'Tonight, right now!'
Dean took a while before he made his next move, pacing the room,
making the floorboards creak. He stopped on the blood-stained spot where Hunter had fal en long ago. 'Another trip - wil you make it?' he asked Phoenix.
Phoenix half closed his eyes and took a sharp breath, as if he was in pain.
His face was drawn. 'I don't know. Maybe.'
I sat beside him, focused al my energy on him. 'Yes, you wil ,' I told him softly. 'So long as you carry on believing.'
My words touched a nerve. He opened his eyes and smiled sadly. 'So now you talk to me about belief!'
'I know. But it's true - belief is what it takes to get us through. You can make another trip. I know we can find the truth.'
Phoenix closed his eyes again and I wasn't sure that he'd taken in what 'Ps said. But when he opened them he looked up at Dean. 'I'm ready,'
he said.
This is it my last journey through time, the extraordinary trip that begins with beating wings as we stand in the yard under a starlit sky. The stars seem to drift then fal towards the ground, the ground dissolves and I feel a tingling sensation at my shoulder blades. The starry mist, the beating wings surround me as I stand with Dean and Phoenix. I join the world of the Beautiful Dead and spread my magical white wings.
I am surrounded by starlight. I beat my angel wings in a universe of lost souls al those wings, souls without a voice, and me hand in hand with my beloved Phoenix.
The glow of the stars fades. We fly with the lost souls and enter a dark, spinning space, the eye of an unnatural hurricane, more powerful, more deathly than any earthly storm. I see a mil ion death heads. Skul s crowd in on me, grinning, sightless, flashing by. So many skul s in the vastness of the dark universe and every one attached to a soul in torment. They long for me to let go of Phoenix's hand, for him to be sucked into the dark vortex, to spin away into infinity.
'Hold on, 'Phoenix whispers. 'Look ahead at the light. '
I see the pinprick of light. Dean leads the way, his wings spread wide.
We fol ow, battered and torn.
It's a light like no other, out of thick blackness, growing stronger, pul ing us on. The light opens lip, defeats the darkness and our wings thrust us spinning towards it. It surrounds us with an incandescent glow.
We're back in time twelve months to the Friday night when Phoenix died, standing in the gas station forecourt. At the roadside a red-and-green neon sign on top of a tal pole advertises gas for sale. In the smal , glass offic }ss Kyra sits behind her cashier's desk handing out receipts.
A steady stream of customers fil s their tanks without seeing us.
Dean leads Phoenix and angel-me between a line of cars to the awning over the entrance to the office where we have a clear view of the vehicles approaching the gas station in both directions. We stand beside a rack of newspapers and wait.
Three more cars swing into the forecourt and join the lines for gas. Jacob Mil er arrives on a bicycle, dumps his bike by the door and goes inside to buy candy and C
oke. Then a guy shows up on a Harley Softtail, cruising round the edge of the forecourt, fol owed by a second rider on a Dyna. They get off their bikes. The second guy waits in line for gas while the other looks up and down the street. Beside me, Beautiful Dead Phoenix grows more alert.
Soon more Harleys arrive. I count three, four, five. The riders join the Softtail guy and they begin to laugh and joke. Someone picks up a magazine and goes into the office to pay.
With wings outspread, Phoenix stands between me and Dean, silently watching the minutes leading up to his own death.
A car crests the hil . Its headlights swoop towards us, past the white
church and the psychiatric hospital into the gas station. Under the red light we recognize Nathan Thorne in his black Chevy. He joins the line nearest us, music blasting from his sound system.
Seconds later, Phoenix pul s tip behind the first Dyna rider.
Beautiful Dead Phoenix sees his old living, breathing self sitting at the wheel of his truck with Zak beside him.
For a second I tel myself Act now. Go to Phoenix, stop him getting out of his truck. Change everything!
I believe in that moment that anything is possible, that I can cheat destiny after al . This is my chance to save Phoenix. I feel my heart jolt, I know 167 have to grab the opportunity with both hands.
I can change this! I silently tel my Beautiful Dead boyfriend. There'l be no fight, no stabbing. You and I can go on living together ... In that moment, I believe this with al my heart. So I step out with my angel's wings from under the awning, raise my hand and put it on living Phoenix's arm.
His skin is warm. I say, 'Leave now, before it's too late. '
Living Phoenix walks right through me without seeing me. He goes up to the guy ahead of him in the line and says, 'I need gas in a hurry. Is it OK for me to go ahead?'
The guy tel s him no, wait in line like everyone else.
I stil want to believe I have the power to change history. My heart
hammers, my mouth is dry.
'Turn around, walk away. If you don 't want to die you have to leave,' angel-nee pleads.
Phoenix jumps back in his truck, reverses then pul s up behind Nathan
Thorne.
'Get out of here!' I cry, leaning against Phoenix's door to stop him
getting out.
Dean steps out from under the awning, pul s me back. He shakes his head. 'Phoenix can 't see you, ' he tel s me. 'He can 't hear you. You don't exist. '
I close my eyes, swal ow hard, feel the frantic energy drain away as Dean pul s me back. It was a moment when I could have healed al wounds, mopped lip al the tears, but it's gone.
Customers queue in the office, more bikes arrive. Oscar Thorne 's Mercedes sweeps into the forecourt fol owed by Vince Hal and Robert Black. From the opposite direction, Brandon arrives on his Dyna. Ignoring Thorne and the others, he goes straight into the office to talk with Kyra.
'Man, I 'm in a hurry, 'Phoenix tel s Nathan as music blares. 158
Jacob has bought his candy. He's left his bicycle in a bad place. A biker customer goes inside to pay, comes out, trips over the bike. He picks it up and throws it against the newspaper stand. There is a clash of metal, Jacob comes out yel ing and cursing. The customer puts his hand in his face and pushes him over.
'Yeah, and I'm in line ahead of you, ' Nathan sneers at Phoenix as the fight begins. 'I m taking my time, see?' And he leans into his car, into the clash of drums and whine of guitars, making a big deal of looking for something. A smal plastic envelope fal s from the glove shelf onto the ground by Phoenix's feet. Phoenix stoops and picks it up.
Now Zak gets out of the truck to snatch the envelope. He says something to Phoenix which we don 't hear above the music track and the noise of the fight developing by the news stand.
Jacob has half a dozen buddies on mountain bikes who appear out of nowhere, from side streets and from the main drag. They include Taylor Stafford, who skids to a halt and starts to kick someone 's Dyna, knocking it over and stamping on the mirrors and wheels. Another kid picks up a garbage can and swings it at another's head. The kid is grabbed from behind. By now there is a smel of spil ed gas and ordinary customers are backing off the forecourt and driving away. Inside the office, Kyra waves Brandon aside and picks tip the phone.
Nathan stops searching in his car and stands up straight. 'Give me back that packet, 'he demands. 'Hey, Oscar Zak took the envelope!'
Phoenix steps across Nathan 's path. The fight outside the office is out of control and now he loses it with Nathan. 'Forget the envelope - move your car!' he demands, fists clenched.
Nathan tilts his head back and grins. Make me, ' he says.
Zak moves in and quickly hands the packet to Nathan, who doesn 't thank him but laughs in his face. Brandon strides out of the office towards them, through the brawling kids, past Oscar, Hal and Black. He punches Nathan then grabs hold of Zak 's col ar and marches him onto the street, sends him sprinting off towards town. When he comes back onto the forecourt, Phoenix has been surrounded by the younger kids, who are being forced back towards the road. Jacob and Taylor smash windscreens and slash tyres as they retreat.
A woman passenger stranded inside a white car begins to scream.
Brandon has stopped to calm her, leaning an arm against the roof of her
car, when Nathan opens his trunk and pul s out an iron bar. Blood runs from his nose as he charges at Brandon, wielding the bar over his head.
Glass shatters, tyres hiss, the woman continues screaming.
Invisible, helpless, we watch as Oscar, Hal and Black draw knives from their belts.
Nathan uses the metal bar to strike Brandon on the back of his head.
Brandon staggers away from the white car into the path of Oscar Thorne. Phoenix breaks free of Jacob, Stafford and the brawling kids and runs to catch Brandon as he fal s.
Nathan comes at them again with the metal bar, this time with Oscar at his side. A passing kid rides his bike at Oscar's legs, sends him off balance, crashing into a gas pump and losing hold of his knife. Phoenix picks up the blade from the oil-stained ground. Nathan's bar misses Brandon and strikes the hood of the white car. Brandon stumbles clear.
There is a pause, a moment of thinking that it's al over, but it's only so that everyone can regroup.
Stil with Oscar's knife in his hand, Phoenix faces Nathan, Ii/110 is 11014, flanked by Hal and Black. Nathan's nose is stil bleeding, his face streak0 ° scarlet.
The demented bike kids are wrecking cars and Harleys. Taylor sets fire to a narrow trail of leaking gas, raising a tongue of flame across the forecourt that flares, lights the whole scene then fizzles out in a dark stain.
Now Black throws a spare knife to Oscar, who catches it. That makes four armed guys versus Phoenix. Seeing this, Brandon bends sideways, slips a hand down his boot and pul s out a short, pointed knife. Then he goes to stand by his brother.
Angel-me tears my attention from the unfolding scene and glances at Beautiful Dead Phoenix. The pain in his eyes is terrible - the helplessness, the not wanting to know what comes next.
Blades flash red in the neon light. Black and Hal jab at Phoenix and Brandon, who is stil unsteady from Nathan 's first blow. Drums clash, guitars whine from Nathan's Chevy.
Oscar lunges at Brandon with his knife. Brandon sways and side-steps
into Phoenix, who fal s against a gas pump then spins quickly to face Nathan.
Blades glint again, bodies stagger and blunder. As Brandon advances shakily on Oscar, Hal thrusts Phoenix across his path.
Brandon raises his knife. His blade flashes down as Phoenix stumbles in front of him. He pushes the point between Phoenix's shoulder blades.
Phoenix fal s to the ground.
Phoenix lies bleeding, looking up at Brandon. Angel-me cries out one sharp syl able. 'No! '
Beautiful Dead Phoenix stands beside me, looks at his dying self then at Brandon and he spreads his arms wide.
In an agony of realizatio
n, Brandon fal s to his knees. In the confusion, only he knows what he's done. Oscar pul s Nathan back, Black and Hal grab Oscar's knife from Brandon and run with it. Al across the forecourt, cars and Harleys start up, race away. The kids on bikes vanish down thts1 side streets.
Brother, I forgive you! Beautiful Dead Phoenix looks on and spreads his arms. The feathers in his wings flutter, he looks like a crucified angel.
Out on the forecourt, Brandon holds Phoenix in his arms.
'Tel Darina I m sorry, ' Phoenix whispers before the whine of sirens splits the black silence.
He lies bleeding to death, gazing up at the brother who has kil ed him.
There was the journey back - the black vortex, the mil ion tortured souls -
but nothing so terrible as the knowledge we had gained.
Dean said nothing. He led the way into the darkness, beating his wings to
rise above the awning up into the cloud-heavy sky. Phoenix and I fol owed,
looking down at two smal figures, one hunched, one sprawled on the ground, waiting for the paramedics in a pool of harsh neon light.
Clouds surrounded us, the figures below were hidden by mist which twisted and turned, wound itself around us and carried us into the dark tunnel where there were no stars, no skies or earth, only a spinning force which dragged us out of the past towards an unbearable present and the last goodbye.
I held Phoenix's hand, fol owed the overlord, closed my eyes and prayed for it to end differently.
Let this not be true.
The forces of time tore at us, the death heads reappeared.
Go back. Tel it a new way. Take the knife out of Brandon's hand. Put it in Nathan's or Oscar's anybody's. Spare us.
Skul s grinned and crowded in. We were hurting in body and soul.
Dean led and Phoenix and I fol owed, turning, fal ing, tumbling towards
the here-and-now blinding light, torn apart.
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Iceman waited at the barn door, under the branching moose horns, beside the rusting truck. He reached out and offered me his hand.