“You okay?” Rob asked with a concerned frown.
“Yeah,” I said. “Just fine. You won’t find anything interesting on him,” I said. “But if you do, text me.”
“Sure,” he said.
“So, any chance she’ll be back before Christmas?”
For half a second he seemed surprised by my question, but then the expression was gone, replaced by something else, though not his normal smirk. “I’m thinking probably not, but you can ask her. Don’t forget about the time difference; she may not always respond right away.”
I rolled my eyes again. “Uh, I’m familiar with the time difference. I spent the summer in Europe.” It was out of my mouth before I realized how incredibly entitled it sounded. “Ugh, sorry. I’m normally not such a spoiled brat.”
He smiled and leaned in to tap the tip of my nose with his finger, making me hold my breath as I waited for him to kiss me. But he didn’t.
“I know,” he said, that disarming smile making my heart stutter in my chest. “But you’re still a very cute spoiled brat. Now go on while I go look up this contractor. I’m sure all is fine, but I’ll let you know what I dig up.”
I nodded and thanked him before I started up the stairs.
~ ♥ ~
I got up to my room and closed the door and had my phone out of my pocket before it occurred to me to glance at the clock. I did the quick math and realized it was too late to text Brooklyn. I cursed as I stared at her number on my screen for a long moment before I sat on my bed and opened up a new text window.
Hey, Brooklyn. I hope your dad is ok. Rob gave me your #. I know it’s late—don’t respond now (srry if I woke u!), but know I’m thinking about you. Hugs - E
I waited for a few minutes, but she didn’t respond so I opened up a new text and sent Dave her new number. If I’d been less exhausted, it probably would have occurred to me that I should have asked her first, but I was sure she’d want to hear from him. Plus, I’d promised him, so by sending him her number, I was fulfilling that promise and removing myself as their middleman before it got weird(er).
With a sigh, and not waiting for a response from Dave, I put the phone down and got up to start to get ready for bed. After the day I’d had, it was amazing I was even able to remember my own name, let alone perform an evening routine, but I guess my autopilot was turned on and working.
After I brushed my teeth and slipped into my pajamas, worried that I was doing it for nothing since I probably wouldn’t sleep anyway, I noticed the light flashing on my cell.
I held my breath, not really wanting to talk to Dave. But although the text was from him, all he’d sent was a one word answer: Thanks.
As I deleted that message, another came in. It wasn’t Brooklyn, as I’d thought, but her brother.
Checked out guy. All ok.
What does that mean?
I sent back a question mark.
Complicated. Need sleep. More tmrrow. K?
Ok, I sent back.
Sleep tight, M.
I ignored the sleep tight part, since there was little chance of that happening, and smiled at the phone, loving that he shortened my name to just M. U 2.
Confession Time. Sort Of.
After a few hours of tossing and turning, I heard the text come in. I rolled over and reached for my phone, seeing the message back from Brooklyn.
Hi! So sorry! Been helping Mom get sorted. Dad’s doing better, thankfully. txt me when you can.
I wanted to send her a message right away, but it was still the middle of the night (for me) and I was beyond exhausted; my brain scrambled from lack of sleep. And for some reason, hearing from her must have lifted some sort of sleep-inhibiting anxiety because I was suddenly very sleepy. Making a mental note to get back to her in the morning, I slid the phone back on my nightstand and rolled over, slipping into a deep sleep almost immediately.
After a surprising few hours of sleep of the dead, I awoke and immediately remembered her text, so I grabbed my phone, typing out a message before my eyes were fully even open.
I’m so glad, I texted. We’ve all been worried.
Sorry.
We understand! I guess you’re there until after xmas?
Yeah.
Crap. I sighed as my eyes landed on her made bed and then slid to her clothes still hanging in the closet. Do you want me to send any of your stuff?
Would you?
Of course, I texted without hesitation. I’ll get them to bring up your trunk. Want to send a list of what you want?
Just throw it all in the trunk. I’ll sort it later.
You sure? I couldn’t imagine she needed everything for just a few weeks.
Y. It’s fine.
Okay. I took a breath, my thumbnail sliding between my teeth as I thought about my next step. I had to tell her something because for sure it was going to get back to her, now that people were going to get her cell number. I knew Kaylee would never tell her, but Chelly could easily let it slip without meaning to. And although Dave had promised, who knew where his loyalty was these days.
I have to tell you something, I texted.
?
Promise you won’t be mad?
? That sounds scary.
Promise!
I promise to try not to be mad, she sent back pragmatically. It was like I was texting with Kaylee, though I guess those two were a lot alike in some ways.
Best just to get it out there. Something happened between me and your brother.
There was a long pause. Long enough for me to have chewed my thumbnail off if I hadn’t broken myself of the habit. Mostly.
What? One word.
I hated that I couldn’t tell if it was a shocked what? Or an angry what? Though it was probably both since she’d warned me off messing around with him when he’d first shown up on campus.
It’s complicated. Can I call you?
Not a good time; I’m in my father’s hospital room with my mother beside me.
I sighed. How much to tell her? Rob and I weren’t dating—not by any stretch of the imagination. But I’d told Dave that we were and that it was intense. Which had been really stupid, but it’s not like I could back out of it now.
It’s just casual, nothing serious, I typed, hitting send before I could change my mind. Hopefully Dave wouldn’t mention that I’d told him it was intense.
When there was no immediate response, I freaked out a little. Are you mad?
I guess not.
I blew out a breath, relieved that she wasn’t totally mad about it. I know you told me not to get involved and that he’s a heartbreaker, but we’re just messing around a bit. I typed. And you can’t be too surprised. You knew I liked him. You know all the girls think he’s hot.
There was a long pause and I suddenly felt weird. Like admitting it was saying it was more than flirting, when I still wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted from him. Besides more kissing, of course.
That aside, he wouldn’t date a student.
How to respond to that? He obviously finds me irresistible. I smiled at my brazenness and could imagine that half a world away, she was smiling too. At least, I hoped she was.
Of course he finds you irresistible, Emmie.
I laughed. That’s true. But... I paused, my fingers hovering over the keys.
What?
It feels weird. But I want you to be okay with it.
You probably shouldn’t be dating staff.
Of course she would say that, since I was fairly sure she’d be dating her equestrian coach if it hadn’t been for that whole issue of dating faculty. Though her brother was hardly faculty. He wasn’t even getting paid. Though she probably saw it as the same. And he was her brother, after all, so obviously she’d be a bit touchy about it.
We’re just having fun, I typed.
And you’re sure that’s all it is?
Yes.
If that’s all it is, then I’m okay with it.
It wasn’t a ringing endorsement, but it was pr
obably the best I could hope for.
Better me than Chelly, right? I sent, needing to make her laugh and also remind her that there was a good chance Chelly would totally throw herself at him if given the opportunity. In a twisted way, I was saving him. Yeah, tell yourself that, Emmie.
Ha. I think he’s scared of her.
Before I could even thank her, she sent that her dad had woken up and she had to go.
I realized as I signed off that I forgot to mention Dave. I thought about texting her back and letting her know I’d given him her new number, but then realized he’d probably already texted her, so there was no point bothering her again. I put my phone back on my nightstand and tried to catch a bit more sleep. No such luck—thinking about Rob without worrying about what his sister would think kept my imagination engaged enough that returning to sleep was impossible.
I didn’t get more details from Rob on the mysterious window guy that day, or the day after, either, as our lives both returned to normal at Rosewood and that meant crazy busy for both of us. He’d send me the odd quick text, but no fun banter or flirting or anything about the guy. I was still curious, but with exams looming, along with the Santa Hop and the realization that taking it over meant meeting with Dave on Thursday night, I became a bit preoccupied.
Even texting with Brooklyn was infrequent and stilted as we tried to match up times when we weren’t too busy. Most of the time, we’d only manage to send a quick, Hi, can’t chat now!
I just hoped she really was busy and wasn’t hating me because of the Rob thing. Especially when it became more and more obvious as the week went on that the Rob thing had basically fizzled to nothing, making me think I never should have bothered to tell her anything at all.
Inside The Somerville Library
It felt hilariously ironic that I was dreading going inside the library that was named after my family. So hilarious, that I felt the near-hysterical laughter bubbling up inside me as I pulled open the door and headed to the study room where I was set to meet up with my ex-boyfriend. It would be the first time I was alone with him since, well, everything, I realized with a groan. I hadn’t been alone with him since we broke up, since I sent him those desperate texts, since I gave him the ridiculously expensive guitar for his birthday and since he started dating my roommate.
My heart pounded as I neared the room, panic and adrenaline gushing through my veins. At least he wasn’t there yet, I thought, exhaling as I saw through the window that the room was still dark and empty.
I slumped into one of the empty chairs around the table. “I’m going to do something stupid for sure.”
I glanced up at the clock on the wall. I was still ten minutes early and Dave was always a bit late. I had time to kill, so to try to calm my nerves and not spend the next ten plus minutes agonizing over seeing him and what stupid thing I was going to do to humiliate myself, I texted Rob.
Hey, was my brilliant opening.
Hi, was his equally brilliant reply, though it still made me smile.
What are you up to? I sent.
Would you think I’m a dork if I say gaming?
I laughed out loud. Yes.
Then I’m lifting weights. Really heavy ones.
That made me smile. Even though I knew he was joking, I got a very nice visual. I resisted the urge to flirt with him, not wanting to ruin this by going too far, but then, as I thought about what to say next, I got an idea. I sent back, I’m in the library with your sister’s boyfriend; come help us plan Santa Hop—you can get to know him better.
No thanks, he sent back. Uh oh. Better bait required.
I decided to go the damsel in distress route. Please. It’s weird being alone with him. There. That had to work; he was totally the protective type.
Unless he starts questioning everything, which of course, he did. Why? Is he a pig?
The way he worded it made me laugh, but he was so on the wrong track. Did I dare tell him the truth? I guessed if I wanted something to progress with him, I was going to have to tell him sooner or later. May as well be sooner. No, not a pig. He’s actually my ex.
There was a pause before he sent, Awkward.
Very. Please?
Fine. Where’s here?
I told him I was in the library and in what room. He said he’d be there in ten. That meant they’d both arrive around the same time, taking the focus off me as they greeted each other and their shared Brooklyn connection gave them stuff to talk about..
~ ♥ ~
When the door to the study room opened, I was checking my not-for-profit’s e-commerce site’s mobile app. It was doing really well and we’d sold a ton of fair trade dresses and tote bags over Thanksgiving. I’d just added online gift cards to the store, so we were hopeful those would be a big seller, too. There were still a few glitches I was working out, but I knew once I dealt with those, we’d be in line to do really well over the Christmas buying season
As I closed the app, I looked up with a smile, expecting Rob, but no. There was Dave, smiling sheepishly (and adorably, if I’m being honest) at me as he came in. “Hey,” he said as he dropped into the chair across from me.
“Hi,” I said. “How’s it going?”
He ran his hand through his hair, a move I knew was his nervous tic. I could hardly blame him; it took everything in me to keep my thumb out of my mouth. Then he blew out a long breath before he looked at me, shook his head and finally spoke, giving me a weak smile. “I’m okay.”
I snorted. “That was the most unconvincing, ‘I’m okay’ I’ve ever heard.”
He looked down at the table. “I’m fine, Emmie. Really.”
Liar. “Dave. It’s me.”
He looked up at me, into my eyes and I suddenly didn’t want to know. Because whatever it was, it was about Brooklyn. Probably that they’d pledged their undying love to each other over text message and he was pining away for her while she nursed her father back to health half a planet away. “Never mind,” I said, before he could change his mind and tell me.
But then he did anyway. “Brooklyn blew me off.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “Wait. What?”
His fingers raked through his hair again. “I texted her and she said with her dad and being in London and not knowing when she’d get back, she’s...ugh,” he looked away. “I can’t tell you this. I feel...it’s weird, Em.”
For some reason, “Dave, we’re friends. You can tell me anything,” came out of my mouth.
I know, it was a surprise to me, too.
He looked at me again and seemed to be studying my expression. Maybe to see if I was lying. I schooled my face to be as blank as possible. It must have worked.
“She doesn’t want to be with me.”
“She said that?” I asked.
He shrugged. “She said she couldn’t be my girlfriend right now with all that’s going on. I mean, we weren’t official or anything. She was taking Thanksgiving to think about it and sort herself out. I think the you and me thing made it confusing for her.”
No doubt.
“But...” he continued. “I was sure that after the holiday... But then this. I mean, I feel horrible for what happened to her dad, but I thought...”
“So you’re on hold?”
He exhaled loudly. “No, that’s the thing. She told me not to wait for her. I think she’s just not into me anymore.” For no reason that I could identify at the time, my heart fluttered at this. But I realized two things in that second: one, it couldn’t be true and two, I was a good friend and that meant I needed to get over myself and start acting like one.
“Dave,” I said gently. “She hasn’t lost interest. She’s going through a tough time and she’s being fair to you which means letting you go. If she doesn’t know when she’ll be back and doesn’t have the headspace for a long distance thing right now, she wouldn’t want to tie you down waiting for her.”
“But I want to wait for her,” he said. My heart twisted a little because it was the same thing
he’d said to me before summer when we’d had the talk about where our relationship was going. And look at how that had turned out. Brooklyn was obviously way smarter than I had been.
I kept my mouth shut on that, but said, “That’s your choice, to wait for her, but she’s giving you the option. Do you see?”
He nodded then looked up at me. “This is so weird, Em. You’re being such a good friend. I’m so sorry.”
How was this guy apologizing to me? After I dumped him? Ugh, he was about killing me. I opened my mouth to say something—anything—to change the subject when Rob came into the room. Startled, Dave turned to look at who was interrupting us and I took the opportunity to jump out of my chair and practically launch myself at Rob.
I threw my arms around him and pulled him down for a kiss. Okay, yes, it was juvenile and transparent to likely all assembled, but my limbs and lips seemed to have acted on their own without engaging my brain (very much).
Rob’s entire body stiffened and he grunted in shock, making it evident that he was about to pull away from me in a way that would make it very obvious that we weren’t actually a couple. I quickly ended the kiss and said hi to him with a smile as though greeting him with a full on ninja kiss assault was an everyday thing.
Being the smart guy, I expected Rob to be on board with the program. I mean, I had told him Dave was my ex.
Apparently not. “What was that?” he blurted, wide-eyed as he glanced at Dave and then back to me.
I tamped down my panic and made a production of rolling my eyes at Dave. “Sorry, Rob doesn’t like PDAs.”
I gave Rob a pleading look, which he seemed to (finally) understand and acknowledge with the tiniest of nods, though he didn’t appear any too pleased with me. I worried I’d just ruined my plan to actually date him, but I’d have to deal with that later.
The boys exchanged awkward greetings and then both looked at me like they were waiting for me to talk. So much for them taking the focus off me.
I pasted a smile on my face, hoping it didn’t look as fake and clown-like as it felt. “We’re just planning the Santa Hop,” I told Rob and motioned toward one of the chairs. “Want to help?”
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